Do you find yourself falling for a coworker?
It’s only natural – spending so much time together in such a tight space must lead to some chemistry.
But there’s the problem:
How do you get from where things are now to where you want them to be?
Because if we’re being honest, the friend zone kind of sucks.
It can be stifling and frustrating – especially if you secretly like this person but are afraid of making things weird at work.
However, there are ways to get out of the friend zone with a coworker without making things weird or putting them into an uncomfortable position.
Keep reading for some helpful advice…
1) Don’t be too available.
If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that being available to your coworkers is a good thing.
After all, when you’re available to your coworkers, you’re showing that you’re interested in their needs and willing to pitch in when needed.
That kind of dedication will go a long way toward getting you out of the friend zone.
There are, however, some important things to keep in mind if you want to make it out of the friend zone with your coworker.
First, don’t be too available.
If you’re always around and always willing to help out, people might start to see you as a good coworker but not a potential boyfriend or girlfriend material.
Second, be prepared for rejection.
It’s not uncommon for coworkers to get tired of people trying to hit on them all the time, especially if they’ve been rejected before.
So if your coworker gives you the cold shoulder, just accept it gracefully and move on.
2) Dress to impress.
When you’re trying to get a coworker to see you as more than a friend, there are a few things you can do to help your cause.
To start, you should dress to impress.
Your appearance is one of the first impressions people will have of you so you must look professional.
If you need help dressing for work, there are plenty of articles on the internet that can help you figure out what to wear.
Just remember that the most important thing is that you look professional but not too corporate. If in doubt, go with neutral colors like black or gray.
You should also avoid anything that screams “I’m trying too hard.”
This doesn’t mean you should wear ripped jeans and an ironic t-shirt but it does mean that you shouldn’t wear anything that makes you stand out too much.
Instead, just stick to neutral colors and simple outfits.
When interacting with your coworker, keep things light and casual.
It’s okay to be yourself around them but try not to make them feel uncomfortable or pressured into doing something they don’t want to do.
Also, remember that getting out of the friend zone isn’t always about making the other person like you.
Sometimes just spending time with someone who likes being around you can be enough to break through their walls and make them realize that they like being around you more than a friend.
3) Flirt with them.
Flirting is a big part of any relationship, especially in the workplace.
Flirting can be subtle and casual or more overt and aggressive.
It can take many forms: compliments, smiles, jokes, laughter, etc.
Sometimes it’s just about getting to know someone on a personal level, which can lead to more conversations and eventual deeper connections.
When flirting with coworkers, it’s important to keep things professional.
Don’t get too personal or make inappropriate comments.
Keep your tone light and neutral so that you don’t come off as intimidating or disrespectful.
Be aware of how other people might perceive your flirtations; if you notice someone giving you strange looks, back off immediately!
It’s also important to be yourself when flirting with coworkers.
If you’re shy or awkward around others, don’t try to force yourself to be outgoing. Instead, work on being more confident and charismatic in other situations.
If you feel awkward around someone who is very outgoing and confident but you have no experience with this type of person, for example, stick to casual small talk until you feel more comfortable (don’t hold back!).
4) Be mysterious.
Being mysterious is a key component to getting out of the friend zone.
If you want to be mysterious, make subtle hints that you are interested in the other person.
If they seem to be flirting back, then try to make your own flirting a little more obvious.
If they don’t seem to have any interest, then don’t push them away.
But how do you do this?
First and foremost, you have to be yourself.
Sure, it’s great to be comfortable with yourself, but don’t fake it.
You can’t expect to magically become friends with someone if you try too hard or show up as someone else.
It’s okay to talk about yourself and your life and explore your interests. Just don’t force it or try too hard.
Be yourself because the best way to get out of the friend zone is to just be yourself.
There are a few other things that you can do as well.
First and foremost, keep your distance until they make the first move.
Don’t be clingy or needy; just be there when they want to hang out.
Second, don’t focus solely on what they aren’t doing in your friendship. It could be anything from ignoring you completely to being rude.
Listen to what they are doing and how you can support them in it. Remember, the “support them in it” part is really important!.
Third, keep things casual. Don’t get too serious too fast; just spend time with them and see where things go!
5) Don’t be too needy.
Being needy is a surefire way to get yourself stuck in the friend zone.
This is especially true in situations where only one or two people are working together.
It can be tempting to try to win over your coworker by being overly friendly and asking them to hang out more often.
However, this will ultimately backfire if you come across as too clingy or desperate.
In addition, it’s important to be respectful of your coworker’s time and space.
If they’re not interested in hanging out more, that’s okay!
Encourage them to take some time for themselves and focus on their priorities.
To get out of the friend zone with a coworker, keep things casual. The key here is to keep things casual.
Don’t take this opportunity to build a long-term relationship or try to become close friends right away.
This can result in an awkward situation where you’re both trying too hard and feeling like you have to fit into each other’s lives.
You should also avoid taking things too seriously and developing feelings for each other that could potentially lead to resentment down the road.
6) Do something for them.
By volunteering your time or donating some of your skills and talents, you can show that you care about them and are invested in their success.
This can go a long way to helping them feel more comfortable and trusting in the relationship.
Another great way to get out of the friend zone is by doing something for them.
For example, if your coworker needs help with a project, offer to pitch in with extra effort or support.
If they’re having trouble with a presentation, offer to review their slides before the big day.
In these ways, you can demonstrate that you’re interested in what they have to say and want to be a part of their success.
Whatever the reason, it’s important to know what to do when someone you care about pulls away from you.
First of all, don’t take it personally.
People can have different preferences when it comes to who they like romantically, and it’s totally okay if one person just doesn’t click with another.
So remember that there’s nothing wrong with that!
But if a friend is clearly pushing himself or herself onto you, or making you feel uncomfortable in any way, then it’s time to do something about it.
Don’t be afraid to break up with them if they’re being inappropriate or making your life harder than it should be!
And even if they are interested in you, don’t let them push you away by constantly tagging along on your dates.
It’s not fair to make their best friend sit alone while they go out with their loved one every single night of the week!
7) Be confident.
Being confident is one of the most important traits you can have.
Being confident means knowing who you are and what you want out of life – it’s being true to yourself, no matter what others might say.
Being confident doesn’t mean you have to be cocky or arrogant – it just means that you’re comfortable with yourself and knows what you want out of life.
Being confident is especially important when trying to get out of the friend zone with a coworker.
If you don’t have confidence, people might think that you don’t think highly of yourself or that you’re not interested in them.
This can make people shy away from getting to know you, which can make things even more difficult!
Luckily, there are things you can do to build your confidence and show people that you want to spend time with them.
One way is to practice saying confident things – like making eye contact when talking, smiling when appropriate, etc.
These are small things, but they can help build your confidence over time.
8) Be patient.
Being patient is one of the key components to getting out of the friend zone with a coworker.
Realistically, this might take a while.
Guys and girls usually do not click with each other from the start, so expect that you might need to be friends for a little while before anything else could happen.
When you’re in a new situation or on a new career trajectory, it can be tempting to try to take a shortcut and push for a relationship too fast.
You might see a coworker who seems interested in you, decide that you want to start a relationship right away, and then end up coming across as desperate or clingy when your coworker doesn’t give you the kind of response that you were hoping for.
Instead, take things slow and build up your chemistry with your coworker before trying to make any romantic overtures.
Build rapport by getting to know each other on an interpersonal level first — talk about what they like doing outside of work and what they are looking forward to in the future — before moving on to more formalized topics like hobbies or family members.
It’s important to remember that your coworker may not be ready for anything serious at this point.
9) Make a move.
It can be hard to get out of the friend zone with a coworker.
They might be your friend for years, but if you feel there isn’t an opportunity for things to go any further, it can be hard to break the ice.
But don’t worry.
It’s possible, and there are a few different ways you can do it.
First of all, you could always make a move.
There’s no shame in starting by asking them out or making another kind of move that indicates that you’re interested in getting more serious.
If they’re not interested in dating, they might be open to just hanging out together regularly.
Another good way to break the ice is to start talking about work-related stuff.
There are so many ways to talk about work-related stuff, so it shouldn’t be too difficult to find something that works for you and your coworker.
If your coworker seems like they’d enjoy the same kinds of things as you, talk about what they like and why they enjoy it.
If they seem more interested in something else, ask them what their favorite part of work is and why they enjoy it so much.
10) Be yourself.
Being yourself is an important part of any relationship.
Especially if you’re trying to get out of the friend zone with a coworker.
There are plenty of reasons to be yourself in a relationship, but there are also a few things to keep in mind.
You should always be yourself when you’re meeting people.
If you’re putting on a fake persona, it’s going to come back to bite you in the end.
Sure, someone might have told you that you were cute in high school, but that doesn’t mean that they’ll still find you attractive at age 40.
You have to show your true self to people and let them know who you are.
You should also be yourself when you’re talking about your relationship with your coworkers.
Yes, they see you every day, but that doesn’t mean that they know everything about your life.
Try not to take things too seriously and make sure not to gossip about your coworkers or their relationships with each other.
That’s just not cool and could get you in trouble if it’s caught on camera or overheard by someone who shouldn’t have access to that information.
Remember, being yourself is the best way to get out of the friend zone. This person is either going to like you for who you are or they won’t.
Conclusion
This article was written with you and your interests in mind.
Let’s get one thing straight: expecting someone to suddenly come over and declare their feelings for you is unrealistic.
It’s just not going to happen.
And it’s not even worth hoping for.
But that raises the question:
Why does love so often start out great, only to become a nightmare?
And what’s the solution to being friend-zoned by a coworker?
The answer is contained in the relationship you have with yourself.
I learned about this from the renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me to see through the lies we tell ourselves about love and become truly empowered.
As Rudá explains in this mind-blowing free video, love is not what many of us think it is. In fact, many of us are actually self-sabotaging our love lives without realizing it!
We need to face the facts about being friend-zoned:
Far too often we chase an idealized image of someone and build up expectations that are guaranteed to be let down.
Far too often we fall into codependent roles of savior and victim to try to “fix” our partner, only to end up in a miserable, bitter routine.
Far too often, we are on shaky ground with ourselves and this carries over into toxic relationships that become hell on earth.
Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new perspective.
While watching, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find love for the first time – and finally offered an actual, practical solution to getting out of the friend zone and moving up the relationship ladder.
If you’re done with unsatisfying dating, empty hookups, frustrating relationships, and having your hopes dashed over and over, then this is a message you need to hear.
