Don’t give up hope! It’s not too late to get him back!
Just because one of your exes has broken up with you, it doesn’t mean that you’re destined to be single all your life.
There is a way to get him back if he cares about you enough, whether or not he actually realizes how much.
Here are 17 sneaky steps for winning your ex back!
1) Get control of the situation
Before you can get your ex to come crawling back, you need to take matters into your own hands. It isn’t enough to sit back and wait for him to realize that he made a mistake: You need to actively work on getting your relationship intact again.
If you’re in a place where you can play the waiting game, then by all means do so – but if not, then it’s time to start making some progress towards getting your ex back.
2) Ask yourself what he wants
People don’t always realize how much they want something until they actually have it. When you’re in love, it’s easy to take things for granted and forget about them.
If you really want to get your ex back, you need to first think about what he wants so that you know how to help him.
For instance, what does your ex want? Is he just looking for a temporary relationship? Or do you think he’s looking for something more serious?
If it’s the former, then there are ways that you can make him realize his mistake.
On the other hand, if your ex genuinely wants a serious relationship and he’s just not willing to give it a shot, then you’ll have to find out why and resolve the problem.
3) Trigger his hero instinct
When you’re trying to get your ex back, you need to find a way to trigger his inner hero.
There’s actually a psychological term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the ‘hero instinct’.
This concept is generating a lot of buzz at the moment as a way to explain what really drives men in relationships.
I know it might all seem kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.
But this misses the point about what the hero instinct is all about.
The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in this life. This is deeply rooted in male biology.
When a man genuinely feels like your hero, he’ll become more loving, attentive, and committed to being in a long-term relationship with you.
But how do you trigger this instinct in him?
The trick is to make him feel like a hero in an authentic way. And there are things you can say, messages you can send, requests you can use to trigger this natural biological instinct.
If you want some help doing this, check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here.
He tells you everything you need to know about the hero instinct, including how to trigger it in your ex.
I don’t often recommend videos but the hero instinct is one of the most fascinating concepts in relationship psychology I’ve come across.
4) Understand that your ex needs time to adjust
The fact that you’re reading this article probably means that your ex broke up with you in the first place. It isn’t an easy thing to do, after all – yet people still do it every day.
People who break up with someone they’re in a relationship with aren’t necessarily making a mistake. In fact, some people do it because they notice that the relationship is no longer working.
Sometimes, though, the breakup happens because one person makes a mistake and the other doesn’t have the heart to forgive them for it.
When you understand that your ex broke up with you for something that doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to be single forever, you’ll feel better about approaching him and trying to get back together.
5) Keep the love alive
It’s important to remember that your ex broke up with you because he didn’t see a future where you’re together – not because he wanted to be single. It’s just as likely that his heart will soften in time and he’ll realize that he wants to be with you again.
Whatever the reason for your breakup, try not to let it affect the way that you think about him.
If you fall back into old habits and blame him for the breakup, there’s a good chance that you’ll end up hating him before he can change his mind. When that happens, it’s so much easier for him to move on to someone else.
6) Avoid the middle-ground trap
When a relationship ends, it’s natural for people to try to go from being friends to being lovers again. This is often a bad idea. If you’re not careful, you can fall into the trap of being in a middle-ground relationship where there are all these expectations but no real intimacy.
If this happens, then it’s almost impossible to get back together with him, because the chemistry just isn’t the same.
7) Go out with your friends
It’s not easy to take the first steps towards getting back together with an ex. For this reason, you need to keep yourself busy and distracted until you find the right time to approach him.
Going out with your friends is an excellent way to do this. You can drive yourself crazy worrying about what he’s doing and who he’s talking to, and you’ll forget about him.
While it can be frustrating at times, the distraction that comes from hanging out with your friends is invaluable.
8) Move on if you want to win him back
If you’re trying to get back together with your ex, then you need to understand that you need to move on before you get back together.
The reason is simple.
If you’re only getting back together because you want to, then it’s going to be hard for your ex to make a decision because he won’t realize that his feelings for you aren’t exactly the same as they once were.
On the other hand, if you really do want to get back together and you’re prepared to move on if it doesn’t work out this time, then there is a good chance that he’ll realize what he needs and come back.
It’s all about the psychology of what men want. They prefer to be chasing someone than having that person chase them.
Which brings me to a very powerful thing you can do.
9) Speak to a gifted advisor about it
The points I’m revealing in this article will give you a good idea about how to get him back (and this time for good!).
But could you get even more clarity by speaking to a real gifted advisor?
Clearly, you have to find someone you can trust. With so many fake experts out there, it’s important to have a pretty good BS detector.
After going through a messy break up, I recently tried Psychic Source. They provided me with the guidance I needed in life, including who I am meant to be with.
I was actually blown away by how kind, caring, and knowledgeable they were.
A genuine love advisor can not only tell you about how to get your ex back, but they can also reveal all your love possibilities.
10) Remind him why he fell in love with you
With this in mind, you need to find a way to remind your ex of why he fell in love with you in the first place.
A lot of women make the mistake of not being themselves when they’re in a relationship.
They start to get needy and afraid that he’ll leave them. As a result, they start to change who they are to fit into the mold that he wants.
Unfortunately, this usually backfires on them because it’s impossible for them to really be whom they want to be when they have all these expectations weighing down on them.
So instead of changing who you are, try to do something that will remind him of the very thing he fell in love with.
For example, if he fell in love with you because you were fun and had a sense of humor, then go out with your friends or spend more time with them. If you were an outdoorsy person, then go for hikes and runs several days a week. It will remind him of who you are and might make it hard for him to move on.
11) Share your feelings with your friends and family
It’s important that you don’t try to keep this all a secret. You can’t do that because it’s only going to give him more power over you by making him feel like he’s the only one who matters in your life.
That doesn’t matter, though. You need to be able to let go of all your feelings about his decision and move on.
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It is impossible for you to do this by yourself. You need someone who can support you along the way, and that person is no other than your family and friends. They’ll be able to listen without judging you and give you their honest opinion without trying to convince you that he isn’t doing the right thing.
12) Be patient
In the end, you need to be patient. It can take time to get over a breakup. Sometimes it takes years before you’re ready to move on. But once you’re ready, then you can work towards getting back together with your ex.
It’s also important that you try not to worry about what he’s doing all day every day. You can’t control him and he doesn’t want to be controlled.
It’s perfectly fine to worry about him and his feelings. However, you need to understand that he doesn’t want you to worry about why he hasn’t called or if he’ll come home, too.
13) Make him chase you again
If your ex broke up with you on the phone, and hasn’t seen you since the breakup (if he hasn’t broken up with you in person), then you need to bring the chase back into your relationship.
The best way to do this is by using reverse psychology. For example, if he’s been calling you, then stop answering for a day or two and see what happens. If he calls again, then answer and have a normal conversation.
It’s hard to get a man to chase you, but if you make it easy for him, he’ll chase you. The more time he spends trying to figure out where you are and who you’re with, the more it will make him want to get back together with you.
14) Try to make him jealous
You can try to make him jealous by hanging out with other men or flirting with them in front of him. However, this isn’t an ideal strategy for a few reasons:
- It’s not fair to the other man because you’re just using him as an object for your own pleasure. You’ll have built up his expectations and he will be hurt when you don’t go through with it in the end.
- You’re using other men to stimulate a certain reaction in your ex, and this could backfire on you.
- It can make you look desperate and it will devalue the relationship that you once had together.
- He might not even get jealous, or at least not enough to want to get back with you. If he’s over you, then there’s nothing that’s going to make him want a reunion.
15) Try to make him jealous for the right reasons
The best way to get your ex’s attention and make him jealous is by doing things that will make you feel good and look great.
For example, start working out, eating healthier, and dressing a little more flirty. When he sees you that happy and confident, he’ll be overcome with regret for what he has lost. This is all because of the hero instinct that I mentioned earlier.
16) Be open to him wanting to see other people
If your ex tells you that he wants to see other people, then give him space.
This can be difficult because you’re so used to competing with each other and wanting to top each other.
However, it’s important that you accept him for what he wants even if it makes you upset or uncomfortable. It’s about respecting his right to make decisions on his own life, not controlling him by telling him what he can and cannot do.
It’s also important to understand that men are very sexual beings. When a man gets rejected (and this happens to most of us), he will use it as an opportunity to show other women that he’s capable of having a relationship.
17) Remember that it’s part of the process
The best way to help your ex get over is by letting him make his own choice. Sometimes this means running away, but more often than not, it means standing together and working through some issues.
Men need to be able to make their own decisions without feeling like they’re being judged or controlled. If you try to force his hand, then he will just want to do it on his own.
Remember that he’s not a child who’s going through a phase, and you shouldn’t treat him like one. You need to realize that this is typical behavior for men, especially when they lose something that is important to them. They will try to get over it.
When you made the breakup easier for him, he’ll be more likely to do the same for you if you break up in the future. Remember that it’s a two-way street and that he’s not just walking away from you without feeling any pain himself.
That’s why it’s so important that you understand why he did what he did and how you can get him back.
When you realize that he’s human and that he’s doing what he thinks is best, then you’ll be able to accept it. You’ll also be in a better position to make him see how wrong he is, and how much love you really have for him.
The sneakiest thing you can do
Ultimately, the sneakiest thing you can do to get him back is take this opportunity to work on yourself.
When you truly love yourself, you emit a magnetic aura. Your charisma is enhanced. You’re confident in your decisions and that confidence is contagious.
You are the type of person who has a healthy mind and body. The ones who eat right, exercise, and get lots of sleep.
You don’t need him to validate you as a person or make you feel happy, because you already feel happy with yourself. You know how to get back on track when you fall off the wagon. You know what will make you happier in the long run, whether it’s losing some weight or going back to school.
If you would like to access a free resource that supports you in the path to self-love, check out the free masterclass on love and intimacy by the shaman Rudá Iandê.
In the masterclass, you’ll learn how to cultivate a loving relationship with yourself.
Rudá explains how doing this has a direct impact on bringing more loving relationships into your life.
You’ll also receive a free downloadable workbook to help you integrate these ideas into your own life.
If you’d like to access the free masterclass, click the button below:
3 texts to get him back
There are some essential texts you should send your ex to remind him of how much he means to you.
These texts won’t seem sweet or romantic on the surface, but they will speak volumes in his mind.
1) “If I could only choose one person to be with, it would be you.”
This message is powerful because it tells him that you love and appreciate his qualities as a man.
It’s not just about how attractive he is, but also about how kind and caring he is. It’s a text that not only touches his heart but also his head.
2) “I never felt this way before you came into my life. I’m grateful for that because other guys never made me feel this good. Now that I’m without you, I don’t know what to do with myself.”
This text will show him it was real. It talks about how important he is to you and that he’s been the only guy that has made you truly happy.
Remember, these texts are not supposed to make him happy. They’re supposed to make him remember why he fell in love with you in the first place.
3) “When we were together, you made me feel…(happy, loved, attractive, smart, and etc.).”
This text will remind him of the emotional connection you had. It also reminds him of how good it felt to be with you. It’s a powerful message because it takes him back to that emotional place. This is important because emotions are what make love last.
The more intensity you two experienced, the more likely he is to come back to that feeling.
A powerful exercise
There’s a powerful exercise you can do right now that will bring you enormous insight into what’s going on with your ex.
I got this exercise from Rudá Iandê’s masterclass on love and intimacy, which I mentioned above.
To be honest, you’re better off taking his masterclass and doing the exercise while watching.
But for those short on time, here’s what to do.
Ask yourself what you’re looking for from your ex.
- What do you do together that you value so highly?
- What feelings does he bring you when you’re together?
- You know that thing you loved about him when you were together? The thing that made him so attractive and special to you?
- What is it that made you feel good about your relationship every time he did or said something?
- What did he do or say that always brought out the best in you?
Then ask yourself…
What can you do today to bring these feelings on your own? How can you speak to yourself in a way that provides you with love and intimacy, even if he’s not there?
Are there any activities you can do that at least bring some of the joy that you used to experience with him?
If you know where the good in your relationship comes from, then it’s not very hard to have it on your own. The more you do these things, the more he’ll want to come back, because it’s familiar.
He’ll see that he just lost some of the best feelings he ever had and that they’re right there waiting for him when he chooses to take you back.
Check out the masterclass. The exercise is much more powerful when doing it while watching the video.
What do you do when your ex starts dating someone else?
If your ex begins seeing somebody new in his life but he’s still not making to any effort to get in touch with you, then it’s time to consider completely moving on.
If he’s seeing someone else, then you need to consider how much he truly likes you.
It’s easy to lead someone on if they really love you and think that they can work things out with you. But if he’s dating somebody new, it means that your ex boyfriend doesn’t really want to come back to you.
You shouldn’t be afraid of living without him in your life if that seems like the best choice right now. It might be painful at first, but you’ll get yourself together eventually.
I encourage you to feel the emotions that come with living without him. It will help you realize how much he hurt you and how important he is to you even if he is not there physically.
I think it’s important you take the time to experience what it feels like not having him in your life. I know it might not feel good just yet, but as time goes by, it will get a lot better.
It’s also important that you take note of how you are feeling when he’s not around. You must recognize what your needs are and how to work towards them. Building a loving and intimate relationship is all about looking after yourself, first and foremost.
You have to know yourself if you want a fulfilling relationship with someone who’s honest with you.
How this one revelation changed my love life
It’s Justin Brown here, the co-founder of Ideapod, and I have something to confess…
I used to believe I needed to be successful before I deserved to find someone who could love me.
I used to believe there was a “perfect person” out there and I just had to find them.
I used to believe I would finally be happy once I found “the one”.
What I now know is that these limiting beliefs were stopping me from building deep and intimate relationships with the people I was meeting. I was chasing an illusion that was leading me to loneliness.
If you want to change anything in your life, one of the most effective ways is to change your beliefs.
Unfortunately, it’s not an easy thing to do.
I’m lucky to have worked directly with the shaman Rudá Iandê in changing my beliefs about love. Doing so has changed my life forever.
Now, Rudá’s teachings can change your life, too.
As the co-founder of Ideapod, I’m in a unique position to be able to bring Rudá’s teachings to our global community.
We do this by promoting his masterclasses.
One of the most powerful masterclasses he has is the love and intimacy masterclass. In this class, Rudá breaks down his key lessons on cultivating healthy and nurturing relationships in your life.
Thousands of people have already let me know that this masterclass has changed their love lives for the better.
Justin Brown, Ideapod Founder