How to get him back when he loses interest: 23 big tips

Listen: Disinterest in a romantic relationship is common. In fact, many people experience it throughout their relationships.

Want to know why? Well, it often occurs because of a change in interests, too much drama, arguments that never seem to end, lack of communication and intimacy, and so on.

So what can you do about it? Here are 23 big tips to get him back when he loses interest in you.

1) Try to understand why he loses interest

The first tip to get him back when he loses interest is to try to understand why he feels disinterested in you.

Are you perhaps fighting too much?

Are you simply not that interesting anymore?

Is it because of something he experienced outside of the relationship?

Or is it just your imagination and in reality, he still likes you?

Answering all these questions is crucial if you want to solve the problem. Just knowing exactly why he is not interested in you will allow you to take the right steps.

2) Stop acting like his mother/secretary

Another big tip? To stop acting like his mother or a secretary.

To be more precise, you must stop doing things for him that he can do himself. Stop doing his chores, stop fulfilling all his needs, and stop helping him with his work.

Let go of the control, and let him be a man. That’s right, the next time he complains about having to do something for himself, simply walk away and leave him to deal with it by himself!

By doing so, you will prevent your man from taking you for granted and reset the relationship.

3) Be the woman you were when he first met you

Tip number 3 is simple: be the woman you were when he first met you!

Men love mystery, even if they don’t want to admit it!

So, if your man already knows everything about you, then there is nothing left for him to discover, and that’s why he loses interest in you.

One way to fix this is to show him your mysterious side more often. Give him a reason to be interested in you again.

For example, what you could do is become more dynamic, rather than stay the same.

But how can you manage to become the woman you were when he first met you?

Well for this, you need to focus on your inner thoughts and desires and find the real you who’s hiding inside your external representation.

I know this might sound confusing but watching this incredible free video on Love and Intimacy from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê will help you understand why it matters to fix the relationship you have with yourself.

Personally to me, Rudá’s practical solutions effectively helped me to build a strong and fulfilling relationship and fix my unhealthy attitude.

So, if you feel that the reason why he lost interest is hidden in your unhealthy attitude, maybe you should do the same.

Check out the free video here.

4) Make sure you’re not codependent

Wait, what is codependency? Well, it is a psychological pattern of being overly dependent on someone else in your life.

If any of the following sentences describe you, you might be codependent:

  • “I cannot live without him.”
  • “If I do not hear from him all day, I panic.”
  • “He is my only source of happiness.”

Can a man lose interest in a woman because she’s codependent?

It is possible, and that’s because codependence is actually very unhealthy for a romantic relationship.

Why? Because it makes you feel that you may lose him if you do not act in a certain way. That’s why he loses interest in you.

5) Be sincere – don’t play games

Your man could be losing interest in you more and more every day. And, unknowingly, you and your mind games might be to blame.

Simply put, he could be fed up with all your lies and he could simply want a woman who is genuine and sincere.

So, if you know that you often manipulate him, go hot and cold, play hard to get, and so on, it’s time to put an end to it!

Instead, be honest with him regarding your feelings and your intentions with him.

6) Stop being needy and clingy

One sure way to make him lose interest in you? Being needy and clingy!

Men do not like clingy and needy women.

In fact, most men want a woman who can take care of herself and who makes them feel good when they see her.

Are you that woman? If not, then I suggest you start working on that immediately.

7) Stop being so possessive

If your man is losing interest in you because you are too possessive with him, then it’s high time to stop that right away!

How can you do that?

Well, simply stop asking too many questions about where he is and what he does with his time. Also, stop trying to control his day-to-day life.

It’s time to trust him and allow him to do whatever he wants. After all, you do not want to force him to be interested in you!

8) Be fun and exciting – even if you don’t feel like it

Fun and excitement are two key elements of a romantic relationship.

So, if you want your man to be interested in you again, then I suggest you start doing fun activities together or go out on exciting nights together.

I know that sometimes that is easier said than done, but it’s worth it! Don’t you think?

Let me give you some examples:

Dining out together: Go to a fancy restaurant, or anywhere where you can have a great time and talk about nice, romantic things. Don’t be so serious all the time!

Karaoke: Sing a duet with him and let that laughter get him back! It always works!

9) Stop being so negative – it’s turning him off

Men don’t like negative women. They lose interest in them faster than they can say anything.

So, if your man is losing interest in you because of your negativity, then that’s time to make some changes.

How can you do that?

Well, just try smiling more often and not complaining about everything that goes wrong.

If you are always negative, he might find another woman who will respond with positivity to him. Also, he might not want to be with a woman who is always complaining!

10) Improve your appearance or get a makeover

Look, I’m not going to skip this tip pretending that looks don’t matter.

I’m actually a huge advocate of improving your appearance or getting a makeover, even if you think it would be a superficial thing to do.

Why? Because the moment you look better, you’ll also start feeling better. You’ll feel more confident and everyone will notice.

The result? Your man will get interested in you again!

Ways to improve your appearance are:

Makeover: It’s a great way to improve your appearance. Not everyone can afford it, but it’s something that you could consider doing.

Diet: It can change how you look in a couple of weeks easily, and also help you with your health quickly as well.

Hair: A good hairstyle can make a huge difference in your appearance.

11) Say goodbye to your insecurities

A woman’s insecurity is one of the biggest reasons a man could lose interest.

Let me explain:

Insecure women are always paranoid about the future and are always scared that the men they love will leave them for someone else.

In addition, insecure women are always afraid that they will do the wrong thing, so they don’t do many things at all.

Furthermore, a woman who’s insecure is a woman who never knows how to make her man feel good about himself and is always afraid of losing his attention.

So, be careful, and don’t let your insecurities hurt your relationship!

12) Start pulling away a bit yourself

Has he lost interest in you? Maybe it’s because you’re always available for him and always want to spend time with him.

So, what can you do about this? Well, one of the best ways to make him interested in you again is to pull away a bit from him.

The thing is that men need space in their relationships. They need opportunities to miss their girlfriends and be excited about seeing them again.

The only way for you to get that space is by moving away from your man a bit, but not too far.

13) Challenge him with something

Challenges are always fun; they are exciting, and they make us feel alive.

Do you remember the last time you challenged him? Was it exciting?

If yes, then challenges are always good to keep a man interested in you.

For example, challenge him to a game of pool. Or, challenge him to climb a mountain with you.

The key takeaway here is that challenges make men feel needed and interested. So, why not challenge him with something really fun?

14) Make him feel incredibly special

Everyone wants to feel like they are the most important person in someone else’s life, right?

Well, if your man is losing interest in you, then a way to make him interested again is by making him feel incredibly special.

So, what are the ways to do that? Well, you could always try some of these:

  • Show interest in what he’s saying.
  • Treat him like a king because he deserves it!
  • Give him compliments that matter.
  • Always show your appreciation for all the things he does for you.
  • Surprise him from time to time.

Surprises can make men feel like they have never loved you more. Surprise him as often as you can! You don’t even have to spend money on it; just do something that’s thoughtful and cute.

pexels rachel claire 6761588 How to get him back when he loses interest: 23 big tips

15) Find common activities to do together

Here’s another tip to pull him back:

Start doing some things that you both enjoy.

I know that for some people, it can be a little bit hard to find new things to do, but it’s worth the effort!

It will make your relationship even stronger and you’ll have lots of fun together!

Here are a few suggestions:

Swim together: Go swimming and have fun in the water. Again, it’s something that both of you should enjoy and that would liven up your romance.

Go to the gym together: Go to the gym and work out with your man. It will provide you both with a great excuse to spend some time together!

16) Flirt with him like there’s no tomorrow

Do you love this guy? If you do, then flirting is something that you should never stop doing!

It’s something that makes your man feel connected to you and amazingly happy!

In fact, flirting is one of the best ways to get him interested in you again, so don’t underestimate it.

You see, confidence and flirting go hand in hand. Confidence will make you flirt more, and flirting will increase your confidence.

So, don’t stop doing it! You might feel a little rusty at first, but once you get into it, you’ll feel great!

17) Start posting attractive pictures on social media

Look, I know I told you that you shouldn’t play games if you want to get him interested in you again. However, reminding him of how good you look isn’t really part of any game.

That said:

Regularly posting beautiful pictures on social media is a great way to remind him that he’s been missing out on something.

You can ask a friend to take some pictures of you, and then put them on your social media profiles. Men love seeing pictures of their lovers, so I’m sure he wouldn’t mind them.

In fact, your pictures might spark his interest in you again!

18) Send him naughty texts during the day

Sending naughty texts to a guy is something that always seems to work.

So, if you want to reignite the spark in your relationship, then you can use naughty texts to your advantage!

You see, sending a naughty text is a great way to make him feel super excited about the things that you will do together later on.

In addition, it’s a fun way for you to start teasing him and make him feel even more interested in seeing you.

Remember: Being naughty doesn’t mean being vulgar. You can express your sexual desires in a cute way as well – if that feels more comfortable to you.

19) Show respect for his needs and feelings

How can showing respect spark interest in him again? Well, it’s really simple:

Men like feeling good about themselves and knowing that their women are always there for them.

By respecting your man, you let him know that you care about his feelings and his needs.

In turn, this will make him feel like the luckiest guy in the world to have you by his side! Basically, he will feel like you’re the one and he will want to change his approach to you.

20) Be spontaneous and follow up with him

Being spontaneous is really important for a relationship, especially if you want your man to feel interested in you again.

So, what do I mean by being spontaneous? Well, you can do something randomly to make him happy. For example, you can leave a note somewhere that says:

“I can’t wait to see you tonight. Meet me in the bedroom. xxx”

Or, you can plan a spontaneous trip for the two of you! It doesn’t really matter what you do; it could be anything, as long as it’s something that he would enjoy.

21) Surround yourself with positive people

You see, making your man feel interested in you again is about more than just him.

It’s about you too, so surround yourself with good people who will inspire you and make you feel confident.

For example, if your friends are always bringing you down, then maybe it’s time to get a new bunch of friends.

Try to be surrounded by friends who bring out the best in you and don’t dwell on the negative.

22) Tease your man to spark his interest

If you want to get your man’s attention again, then why not try teasing him? Teasing him is a really fun way to show your interest in him.

Of course, there’s a right way and a wrong way of doing this. So, here are some tips to help you:

Make sure that he doesn’t feel like you’re attacking him. He will see it as negative teasing, which isn’t healthy for the relationship.

Don’t overdo it! Teasing is great as long as it’s done in a playful manner. Be careful not to cross any boundaries, or you might end up pushing him away completely!

23) Show your appreciation for him

Showing appreciation is a great way to get back the interest of a man who has been giving you the cold shoulder.

By showing him that you value and appreciate him; you show him how much he means to you.

He will feel like a million bucks!

He lost interest in you. What now?

By now you should have a good idea of the things you can try to make him interested in you again.

But what can you do to resolve this faster and more effectively?

Trigger his Hero Instinct!

The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in their lives. This is deeply rooted in male biology.

When a man genuinely feels like your everyday hero, he’ll become more loving, attentive, and committed to being in a long-term relationship with you.

But how do you trigger this instinct in him?

The trick is to make him feel like a hero in an authentic way. And there are things you can say and messages you can send to trigger this natural biological instinct.

If you want some help doing this, check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here.

I don’t often recommend videos or buy into popular new concepts in psychology, but the hero instinct is one of the most fascinating concepts I’ve come across.

Here’s a link to his unique video again.

Picture of Daniela Duca Damian

Daniela Duca Damian

I’m Daniela, a passionate writer with an academic background in journalism. My work is based on research and facts. In recent years I have focused on the study of interpersonal relationships, analyzing, and writing about aspects related to social connections, romantic relationships, but also personal development. My goal is to decipher the most confusing concepts so that anyone who is interested in living a better and fulfilled life can apply them. When I’m not writing, I challenge my friends with meaningful questions about life.

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