How to get a married man to fall in love with you: 9 key steps

Here’s the man of your dreams, but the problem is, he’s married… Do you still want him?

Sure, there’s a risk involved, but there’s also the potential for a major payoff.

Keep reading for the 9 key steps to get a married man to fall in love with you.

1) Make yourself irresistible

When you’ve got your eyes set on a married man, the last thing you want is to come off as desperate or needy.

The most confident and appealing women are the ones who are able to be independent and self-sufficient, so make sure that you’re able to show this part of your personality.

Charismatic, beautiful, caring, intelligent — it doesn’t matter what you are as long as he wants you more than anything else in the world.

You see, a married man’s attention might be focused elsewhere, but if he still thinks you’re incredibly attractive and desirable, he’ll want to find a way to get you.

Look and act as attractive as possible. No matter how much of a catch you are, he won’t consider dating you if you’re not his type. Show him that you’re worth his time, energy and attention.

2) Don’t go after him

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Most women who chase after married men are desperate and needy, and there’s nothing worse than that.

He’s married – that means he has a wife, but the fact is that she doesn’t satisfy him completely. She doesn’t give him what he wants or needs in bed, or in an emotional sense.

And he knows it.

His wife might be beautiful and smart, but if she can’t turn him on, most men will find themselves wanting something more somewhere else. So, before you even think about going after him, make sure you can control your emotions.

That doesn’t mean that you need to trap him or take advantage of his marital status, but it does mean that if things start to go south in your relationship, he’ll have a strong incentive to run back toward the safety and security of his wife.

You don’t want to give him an excuse to do that. Why? Because you’ll end up losing him.

If you want to go after the married man in hopes that he’ll want to stay with you, make sure that your relationship can last before taking any action. Don’t take the risk of being left in a lurch if things don’t work out.

3) Don’t rush things

As difficult as it might be, you need to resist the urge to seduce him right instantly. He’s married and that means that he’s not interested in a quick fling.

It also means that you won’t want to be just another incident in his life either. Make sure you can prove yourself to be a long-term relationship material.

The best way to get him fall for you is to make his wife totally irrelevant in his mind. To do this, you need to make him feel like a hero and in order to do that, he needs to feel like you’re the most exciting woman in the whole world.

If you rush things or make him feel pressured, he’ll start playing it safe… and ultimately, he’ll lose interest in you.

You want the good news? It’s that women are naturally drawn to men who are attracted to them.

When you meet him at a bar, or start communicating with him online, he should know that you want to sleep with him. Then, you should pull back and resist the temptation to seduce him or lead him on in any way.

Act like you’re just interested in talking or hanging out. If things go well, after a few drinks or a nice dinner together, let him work on seducing you.

Put it simply, flirt.

4) Flirt with him

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To continue the point above, don’t be too forward with him. If you’re really interested in getting him to cheat on his wife, it’s important that you walk the line between being friendly and flirty and pushing him away.

You have to be a little bit of everything – from assertive and confident to playful and coy.

The key is to set up the mood for seduction without putting too much pressure on him. If you set up a clear challenge or direct him toward a specific outcome, he’ll either resist you or lose interest in you.

Seduction is all about creating a magical, satisfying and memorable experience for both of you, and the key to doing that is to let him seduce you.

The less pressure he feels from you, the easier it will be for him to relax and show his inner self to you. And when he does that, he’ll fall in love with you all on his own.

The key to seducing him is to give him what he needs — something that his wife can’t or won’t do for him.

If you can give him a more exciting bedroom life, you’ll bring out the best in his sexual and romantic creativity. If you can be emotional support for him and help him feel less isolated in his relationship, this too will get him hooked on you.

Now you might wonder how you can flirt if you shouldn’t rush things. Isn’t it one of the ways to push him to take further steps?

Actually, that’s something I thought before I received guidance from a certified life coach from Relationship Hero.

After feeling helpless in my love life for so long, I reached out to professional life coaches on this website and they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.  

So, if you’re looking for personalized advice, specific to your situation, don’t hesitate to take advantage of this exceptional opportunity.

Click here to check them out.

5) Being subtle is the key

Be selective about the things you say and how you say them. Don’t be too forward or suggest anything.

Be subtle and a bit cold, but direct.

Don’t force him to go out of his way to spend time with you and don’t feel like you have to spend time with him. The more attention you pay him, the more comfortable he’ll feel. And the more comfortable he feels, the further away from his wife he’ll become.

Speak in general terms about how things are going in his life and how great a man he is. If you need to ask him out to dinner, do it in a lighthearted matter.

You will leave him wondering when you’ll call him, or why are you suddenly so interested in spending time with him?

With this, you will be occupying his mind so much that he’ll eventually start to feel comfortable doing things with you.

Doing these things will make him feel that he’s falling in love with you and when this happens, you’ll have taken all the risk out of having him as both your friend and a lover.

6) Be a good listener

This is another powerful way to make your target feel like an everyday hero.

You can use this to get him to share personal details about himself that he hasn’t shared with you before or help you connect with him in a deeper way. When you’re a good listener and someone tells you about his personal life, he’ll start to open up and feel vulnerable with you.

And when he feels vulnerable, this is the time for him to ask for things that he’s not quite ready to ask for from his wife.

Let me tell you this: It’s a biological instinct for men and women to want to sleep with people they’ve had deep conversations with. The longer and more intimate you make the conversation between you, the more likely that you’ll be able to seduce him into bed.

Be interested in everything he has to say and encourage him to go deeper. You can also ask a lot of questions about how his life is going right now and how things are going out with his wife.

7) Don’t make him choose

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If your target man is already unhappy in his relationship, he’s probably feeling very conflicted and confused.

He’s not even sure if you’re interested in him or if he should risk everything for a chance to be with you.

You have to make it very easy and comfortable for him to say yes to being your lover. You also have to make it very difficult and uncomfortable for him to stay married. This is where your friends will come in.

Make them aware of your intentions and enlist their assistance. You need to have the right people in your corner to get him to cheat on his wife. If you have the wrong friends, you could very well find yourself getting into trouble with the law or end up facing some other legal issues.

You can easily get him to cheat by being breathless and mysterious with him on the phone or online chat without making any outright sexual or romantic advances.

All of what you do — whether online or in real life — should imply that you’re interested in him, but never force him to choose between his wife and you. If he chooses his wife, he’d just be going back to the same old thing.

But if he chooses to be with you, of course, this is because he is falling in love with you all on his own.

8) Think of his wife and children

This is something that you need to be very careful with, but it’s also one of the most effective ways to get a married man to fall in love with you.

This man will not want to lose control of the family, and he’ll be afraid of the financial consequences — but if you push his buttons about how unhappy his children are with their mother, it could very well be enough for him to start thinking about choosing you over her.

If you’re brave enough to go after the wife, you also need to be prepared for the consequences.

You should also know that women like this don’t just stand there and accept their husbands having an affair. They will try to fight back and they can even turn violent. Since you’re putting yourself in great danger, don’t let your emotions get the best of you.

Be very careful when you ask about his wife and children, and don’t get into a long conversation about them.

However, if you think that this is the right man for you, you should mention the difficulties in his relationship. You will be able to see in him whether it’s something that he’s already thought about and whether or not he would consider breaking up with his wife just to be with you.

Just don’t go into too much detail when you talk about the details of their relationship.

If you’re not careful, it could actually become your problem; because when it comes to his family, you’ll need to understand him.

9) Make him feel like he’s in control

Finally, you need to make him feel like he’s the one in control.

When men are with a woman that they don’t have complete control over, it can feel almost as if they’re being dominated.

Being the dominant one is actually a very important part of men’s sexual arousal and his desire to commit. When a man is dominant, he feels more confident, excited, and powerful.

Things like:

  • Being guided by him to where you two usually meet up for dates.
  • Letting him choose when and where you two will meet up for dinner or other activities.
  • Initiating physical contact such as hugging, holding hands, etc. only when he initiates it first.
  • Asking for his advice about important things that are going on in your life.
  • Making sure that you always specifically thank him for gifts and any other kind of support or help he gives you.

When he feels like he’s in control, he’ll be able to comfort himself with the thought that you two are in this thing together and that you’re both on the same page.

This is why these are such powerful strategies for getting a man to offer his love to you instead to his wife. They tap into a lot of the same cues that they use to find value and warmth in their relationships with other people.

And since they work, it’s also why they make such an excellent foundation for starting something much more intimate and long-term with him.

Final words

I know, it will be very tricky, but making a married man fall in love with you is entirely possible.

It will require a lot of planning, social engineering, and other kinds of knowledge that can be obtained online, but it’s certainly not impossible to successfully seduce a married man.

Attracting a married man is all about getting him to feel something he hasn’t felt in a while.

So what can you do to make this more possible?

According to relationship expert James Bauer, you have to trigger something in him called the Hero Instinct

This is a new concept in the relationship world that has revolutionized the way I understand how men work in relationships.

You see, when you trigger a man’s hero instinct, all his emotional walls come down. He feels better in himself and he naturally begins to associate those good feelings with you. 

And it’s all down to knowing how to trigger these innate drivers that motivate him to love, commit, and protect.

So if you’re ready to take your relationship with a married man to that level, be sure to check out James Bauer’s incredible advice.

Click here to watch his excellent free video.

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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