How to deal with being ugly: 10 things you need to know

If beautiful people have a hard time loving themselves on a regular basis, then how on earth can someone with unattractive traits find ways to love themselves?

Being human isn’t easy, but one thing is true: there’s beauty in all of us.

Whether you believe it or not, there are people who see the kindness and beauty in even the ugliest people.

After all, there are ugly people and then there are ugly personalities. It’s better to be physically unattractive than it is to be an ugly-hearted person in this world.

So if you’re struggling to deal with being ugly, here are 10 things you need to know.

1) Stop worrying about what other people think. Truly.

The first thing you need to do is change the way you see the world. Even the most beautiful people on earth fall under the scrutiny of other people.

If you keep this in mind, it’s easy to go about your business without worrying about what other people think.

The truth is that people are going to judge you regardless of what you look like, so it’s important to remind yourself that you have more to offer the world than just your looks.

We all age. At some point, looks stop being important. Focus on how you show up, now what you look like when you do.

One way to stop caring what people think is to carry out the exercise suggested by Justin Brown in the video below.

2) Find beauty in unexpected places.

If you hate what you see in the mirror, then focus on the areas of yourself that you do like. If you are a great writer, focus on your writing.

If you are a wonderful singer, sing until your heart’s content. If you are a good friend, show up for your friends.

There’s no right or wrong way to live this life, but when you aren’t in love with your face, it can be harder.

You might need to look deep inside yourself to find something about you that you love, but it’s worth looking for. If you don’t like yourself, nobody else will either.

3) Accept that you are who you are.

One of the most important things about loving yourself, regardless of your appearance, is to welcome the fact that there is only one of you on earth.

Whether you think you are attractive or not is not the point. It’s far more productive to focus on the gifts you have to offer the world and remember that even if your nose is too big or if your hair is too fuzzy, that’s just your opinion.

You can change your opinion at any time. And you don’t need to agree with the world’s opinion of you. Most people don’t care and never will.

4) Don’t be jealous of what you are not.

You might not look like a Hollywood movie star, but the truth is that half of those people don’t look like that either. Makeup and special effects go a long way in the world these days.

Instagram filters make people look way more beautiful than they actually are. Content isn’t created anymore, it’s curated – even our photos are carefully thought out and presented to the world in a way that makes us look great.

There’s no need to be jealous of what you are not, because what you are not is fake. There are a lot of fake people out there.

Even if your looks leave something to be desired, you should know that it’s more important that you don’t hide away from the world or airbrush your appearance. That shit gets old fast.

5) Surround yourself with people who like you for who you are, not what you look like.

Ask any woman what she wants in a partner and she’ll say she values a sense of humor over everything else.

Anyone (guy or girl) who can make her laugh is her number one priority. Over money, age, career, and yes, even looks, women want to be with someone who can make her laugh.

Find those people and surround yourself with them.

There’s a lot to be said about someone who can get at the heart of the matter and make moods lift during trying times.

If you are that person, you’ll always have someone to appreciate who you are, not what you look like.

6) Cultural differences mean a lot.

Let’s start at the beginning. It’s important to understand that attractiveness is a cultural thing. What is valued as beauty in one culture may not be regarded as such in another.

That’s good news because it reaffirms the truth that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and anything – and we do mean anything – can be considered beautiful in this world.

There’s room for all of us. If you struggle with your appearance, you can find solace in knowing that everyone is different for a reason.

If we all looked the same, how boring would this world be. While you are not meant to be the butt of someone’s cruel jokes, there is a place for you in this world. You just have to keep looking for it.

7) You are not your looks.

In the meantime, you can take comfort in knowing that everyone’s looks eventually fade and we all end up wrinkly and white-haired, if we are lucky.

While you might try to hide your face and looks from the world, it’s a good idea to start working on your confidence in other areas.

Whether or not you are attractive shouldn’t hold you back in the world. You have a whole life to share with other people.

Your personality, characteristics, skills, talents, and gifts are all things that can make you more attractive to other people, both on a friendship level and a romantic level.

You don’t have to be defined by the way you look. We are lucky to live in a world where first impressions are not always the last.

8) Let your voice do the talking.

If you are not confident in your appearance, let your words and actions do the talking for you. You might be a great speaker, storyteller, or confidante.

Don’t underestimate what you can bring to this world. We live in the information age – that’s good news for people who don’t enjoy being around other people.

You can do a lot from your laptop and still live a fulfilling life.

We’re not suggesting that you hide yourself away from the world, but it’s no secret that today’s lifestyle makes it easier for us to find comfort in our own ways.

9) Be who you are.

It’s hard to imagine a world without you in it. Whatever you bring to this world, it’s important. You might feel like a burden or like you aren’t worthy of being loved, but it’s simply not true.

There are people who love you regardless of your appearance. Even if they are not with us in this life anymore, someone, somewhere loved you enough to bring you into this world.

They don’t care what you look like. If you want to live a great life, regardless of how you look on the outside, it’s important that you show up as you are as often as you can.

There are no rules anymore. You can live the life you want without critique from the world at large. And if you have friends or family that aren’t what you hoped, you can replace them too.

10) Consider change only if you really can’t stand it.

For some, the pain associated with their appearance is unbearable. We’re not here to judge. But we want you to know that if that is the case, you can decide to change the way you look at any time.

If money is an issue, you can start by changing your hair or your clothes. Sometimes changing things on the surface makes you feel better on the inside.

We always recommend changing your thoughts to change the way you see yourself, but that doesn’t work for everyone.

If you need to make physical changes to feel better about yourself, have at it. But don’t do it for anyone else. Do it for you.

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Notable replies

  1. Why are beautiful people writing articles about being ugly and how to deal with it? You’ve never been ugly in your life so how would you know? This is like the fifth article that I’ve seen written by a pretty/beautiful person, are there no ugly writers out there? This should come from someone who has been put down all his/her life, to actually know deep in their gut what it feels like to be ugly. Believe me it hurts deeply.

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Genefe Navilon

Genefe Navilon

Genefe Navilon is a writer, poet, and blogger. She graduated with a degree in Mass Communications at the University of San Jose Recoletos. Her poetry blog, Letters To The Sea, currently has 18,000 followers. Her work has been published in different websites and poetry book anthologies. She divides her time between traveling, writing, and working on her debut poetry book.



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