15 clever ways to deal with a narcissist female boss

Narcissists can be tough to work with. 

They can be self-serving and self-promoting, to say the least. 

They can also be deceitful, untrustworthy, and unreliable. 

It can be tough to get your work done if you’ve got a female boss who regularly displays these traits. 

Fortunately, there are plenty of ways to deal with a female narcissist without getting burned. 

The good news is that you can survive and even thrive in a work environment with a female narcissist. 

You just need to be more patient and understanding than you would otherwise have to be.

Keep reading to learn 15 clever ways to deal with a narcissistic female boss. Let’s jump right in. 

1) Set professional boundaries

The first step is to set some professional boundaries. You may have to do this by yourself at first, and then you can work on getting your coworkers on board. 

Determine what behaviors are okay and which ones are not. For example, it’s okay to be assertive and forward with a female boss who is open to feedback. 

But if she becomes angry when you share your thoughts or opinions, it’s best not to push the issue. 

It may be tempting to try to ‘get through’ the narcissist by playing her game of self-promotion and deceitfulness. 

In reality, this will only hurt you in the long run because these people typically don’t keep their promises or follow through on projects they say they will complete. 

And they’ll often throw other colleagues under the bus to get ahead of themselves

Don’t allow them access to your personal information. 

In many cases, narcissists will make their way into positions of power because they’re good at charming others and telling people what they want to hear.

For you not to get burned, you mustn’t give them personal information about yourself. 

Anything else that could be used against you if the person was interested in hurting your reputation or harming any relationships you have built with others

2) Welcome feedback

It’s important to remember that a narcissist boss is probably not intentionally being rude. She just wants to be liked and feel like she is the best. 

Allow your boss to speak freely. Let her give her feedback without interrupting. 

Simply take notes and summarize them back to her. It’s important to let her know that you are listening and not trying to content or disagree with her. 

She may not be aware that her behaviors are coming across as narcissistic.

3) Don’t take things personally

This may sound simple, but it’s one of the most important things you need to remember when dealing with a female narcissist

Narcissists are often very self-involved and they can be difficult to deal with, but they aren’t intentionally trying to put you down. 

They just don’t get how their behavior affects other people. Narcissists are generally not interested in anyone other than themselves, which is why they can be so difficult to work with. 

If you’re constantly worrying about what your boss is thinking or feeling, it will be hard for you to focus on your job and deliver high-quality results. 

Instead of worrying about what the female narcissist boss thinks about you, make sure that you have the freedom to do your best work and stay true to yourself.

The truth is, it’s hard to realize how much power lies within us. It’s easy to let other people walk over us. 

We become bogged down by continuous conditioning and try to behave in a way that others expect from us.  

What’s the outcome?

The renowned shaman Rudá Iandé, explains in this excellent free video, how you can lift the mental chains to access the core of your being.

He challenges you deeply. He encourages you to live more authentically, to be honest and true to yourself, and to confront the parts of your nature that you tend to hide from. 

So, if you’re ready to take this first step, there’s no better place to start than with Rudá’s unique technique and honest investigation. 

Here’s a link to the free video again.

4) Be proactive

Often, the best way to deal with a narcissistic female boss is to be proactive. Instead of reacting to her behavior, you should take the initiative and make your own decisions. 

Narcissists are often selfish and self-serving, so they don’t care about your needs or wants. This can make it hard for you to get what you need to be done. 

You must take charge and do everything possible to complete your work promptly (ahead of schedule if possible). 

You might want to consider asking for more work from your narcissistic boss to ensure that you have enough work to keep yourself busy.

5) Don’t be afraid to speak up

Narcissists love to promote themselves and be in charge. They also crave a ton of praise, which is why you might find it difficult to confront them. 

But you mustn’t allow your boss to walk all over you. If she’s constantly taking credit for other people’s work or asking her staff members to do personal tasks for her, it’s time to talk with her. 

She might not like what you have to say, but at least she’ll know that you’re not going to take any more abuse. 

You can also set boundaries if she tries to push too hard and constantly puts herself first. It might mean having a talk with human resources about how she treats others or requesting a transfer out of her department if the situation gets too unbearable.

6) Stay connected

Narcissists need to feel in control, so they’ll do anything to keep you under their thumb. 

One way they might try is by micromanaging every detail of your work and constantly checking up on you. 

So, one way to deal with a narcissistic female boss is to stay connected and make sure she knows what you’re doing at all times. This will help her feel more in control and less likely to interfere.

7) Go for lunch

This is a great way to build a more stable relationship with your boss. Get to know her and spend time with her in a neutral setting. So much of our happiness has to do with the quality of our relationships. 

She might be intimidated by you. Offering your time for simple things like lunch can be a way to reach out and build a seemingly closer bond. 

Plus, it’s a good opportunity for you to ask her about her day and what she’s working on.

Always remember to ask questions, listen, and try to keep the attention on your boss. Keep your professional boundaries strong and don’t reveal too much about your situation.

8) Laugh together

pexels pavel danilyuk 8425361 1 15 clever ways to deal with a narcissist female boss

It might sound counterintuitive, but sometimes the best way to deal with someone who’s trying to push your buttons is just to laugh it off. 

There are plenty of books and articles that detail how narcissists can be humorless and take themselves too seriously. 

They might even pounce on any opportunity to belittle or criticize you if they sense weakness

However, if you can manage to keep a smile on your face, you’ll defuse the situation and make them look foolish.

9) Don’t make a big deal out of small mistakes

Narcissists can be very cruel if they feel like you’ve wronged them in some way. 

So, if you find yourself on the receiving end of her bad behavior, most likely it has nothing to do with something you did. 

Simply apologize for the mistake and move on. In many cases, narcissists will use it as an opportunity to humiliate others because they feel insecure about themselves.

10) Don’t take it personally if she pays special attention to others

Although female narcissists expect everyone to pay extra attention to them, sometimes they will put extra (undeserved) praise on the people who work for them.

It might be hard for you to realize this is happening since you might feel like you’re being neglected. But don’t let it get to you. 

Instead, recognize that your boss is probably only paying extra attention to other people to make herself feel more special.

11) Consider a career change

The best way to deal with a narcissistic female boss is to avoid her. If nothing else, you should look for another job if you find your current one too stressful and difficult to handle.

Not only will it be easier for you to deal with her if she’s not your boss, but it will also make it easier for you to avoid any drama that might be brought into the workplace by coworkers who have been involved in conflicts with her.

12) Have a friend nearby

If you have a friend or colleague nearby, you can use them as an excuse to avoid your boss if you suspect she’s about to target you.

If she sees that the people around you are listening to her, it might make her think twice before saying something hurtful.

13) Stay in touch with old colleagues

If possible, you should stay in touch with old colleagues who have left the company after working for your female narcissist boss. 

This can be a great way for you to get a second opinion.

If you’re able to talk things through with your old coworkers, you might learn that she is not as bad as she seems.

14) Develop healthy coping skills

Narcissists tend to take more credit than they deserve, so it’s helpful if you can develop some healthy coping skills to deal with her annoying behavior. 

If you’re the only one in the office, it might be hard to voice your opinion without looking like you’re taking a petty shot at her. But doing so can be good for your overall mental health.

15) Keep a diary

If possible, you should keep a diary or journal where you write about stuff that annoys you about your female boss. 

This can help put things into perspective and give you clarity as to what she’s like as a person.

The more you document her behavior and reactions, the better. 

It can also help you gain clarity as to what she’s like as a person.

You can get through this

To wrap up, narcissists can be difficult to work with. 

Narcissists feed off of others’ success, so don’t allow them to do so by pushing your accomplishments in their face. 

In some cases, you might have to be creative, but don’t let her ruin your career. 

Narcissistic females are shameless and hypocritical, so know that you’re not the only person who’s been through this type of situation.

If she continues to cross the line, document everything with dates and details so you have evidence of her inappropriate behavior. 

Don’t let her treat you like trash. You’re worth more than that.

The best way to deal with a narcissist is not to deal with her at all. But this is your life and it’s up to you to decide what action to take. 

If things get too unbearable, you can start to prepare yourself so that you do have options. You can prepare your resume, look for new job opportunities and set yourself up for a transition if that is what is required. 

Always stay on the offense, and be prepared to make changes if you need to. 

You don’t have to sit back and take life as a victim. 

The more you can tune into your inner value and confidence, the more you will be able to live your life to the fullest and take on any obstacles along the way. 

Again, this inner power is something that the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandé encourages and helps you to calibrate. 

In this excellent free video, he encourages you to look at these moments, take them on, and learn from them. 

He invites you to act from deep within so that you can live your life more authentically. 

So if you are not getting along with your boss, narcissist or not, this can be a sign of needing to learn to stand up to power imbalances in your life and work on developing your inner voice. 

Rudá’s unique technique will help you discover what is truly important to you. And of understanding when to be patient and accepting and when to stand up for yourself and be less agreeable. 

Here’s a link to the free video again

It’s not easy to deal with this type of boss, but it’s not impossible. 

It’s a great opportunity for you to discover what is important to you and make the changes that you seek. 

You can do it!

Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.

Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

Enhance your experience of Ideapod and join Tribe, our community of free thinkers and seekers.

Related articles

Most read articles

Get our articles

Ideapod news, articles, and resources, sent straight to your inbox every month.