How to be an alpha male: 28 key habits to adopt

Alpha males are not born, they are made.

There is no such thing as a natural alpha male – men and boys who embody masculinity and dominance. They only became strong through adopting the key alpha male habits.

Let’s take a look!

The 28 key habits you need to adopt if you want to be an alpha male

1) Be a leader, not a follower

If you want to become an alpha male you need to become a leader. And the best kind of leader is one that leads by example.

This means that you need to focus on being a good leader in your relationships, at work, and in your social circles.

Your priorities should be to help others become better people. You should always aim to work hard for the good of others and not just for your own self-interest.

Your desire should always be to help those around you grow into their full potential so that they can lead happier lives free from worry, anxiety, or procrastination.

People will naturally follow those who show them the way. Only strong and resolute men can lead.

Taking the time to encourage and guide others will make you a better leader and give you that extra spark of confidence you need to take on new challenges and benefit you in many different ways.

2) Be in control

There will always be people who will try to manipulate and control you, but if you want to be an alpha male, you must resist.

Someone who is being controlled by someone is not an alpha male.

Being in control can never be achieved if you don’t know where you stand and what you have to do. You need to set your own goals and make your own choices and decisions.

Simply put, don’t do something that you don’t really want to do or that goes against your values and beliefs just because someone is asking for it or even pressuring you to do so.

Remember that you are in control of your own life, stick to your decisions and take charge of the future.

3) Be strong and stay healthy

An alpha male works out and watches what he eats to be strong and healthy.

If you want to be an alpha male, then you should start hitting the gym, get your bike out of the garage, and make going for a jog part of your daily routine.

Eating healthy means cutting back on processed, fatty, and sugary foods. It means less caffeinated drinks and alcohol, and more nutrient-dense foods that help keep you fit, strong, and healthy.

Being healthy will help you fight off illness and give you more energy during the day if you are tired.

What’s more, being physically healthy will help you feel less stressed and more in control, helping you make better life decisions.

But that’s not all, physically strong people have positive body image as well. They know what they look like and feel confident about themselves because they know that their body is strong enough to handle all the activities that are required of them.

4) Be tough and not vulnerable

Being tough is a strong trait of masculinity, it’s being able to stand up for yourself and those weaker than you who are in need of help.

Alpha males are not vulnerable to pressure from others. They have a strong sense of self-worth and know that they can stand up for themselves against those who try to get them down.

They are solid and confident in their own abilities.

Being tough also means that you have to be very strict with yourself on what values you want to lead by, and what behavior patterns are important to you.

The bottom line is that the alpha male is not a pushover in any situation or under any circumstance.

5) Emphasize position, not social class

A position is something that is said to be achieved by the results of certain actions.

Being an alpha male means you should emphasize your position as an alpha.

You should always aim higher than where you are now and work to improve your position as you go along. Don’t be content with where you are today and always look to get better.

You shouldn’t let your position be defined by whatever social class or class system you belong to in society. A powerful man doesn’t simply follow the rules of a certain social class, he breaks the rules because he knows that some of them will not benefit him in any way at all. He will concentrate on what is needed for his own personal growth so that he can become stronger and better than before.

6) Live by your own standards

If you want to be an alpha male, you need to stop trying to please everyone all the time. According to Ideapod co-founder Justin Brown, being nice doesn’t get you anywhere in life

You need to accept that you can’t be liked by everyone so don’t live your life according to the values and standards of other people. Instead, you need to follow your own path and live by your own standards.

Watch the 4-minute video below to help you figure out what your deeper and underlying purpose in life is.

YouTube video

7) Be honest with yourself and with others

Here’s the thing about alpha males, they have integrity.

They don’t lie to themselves or to other people. They are honest about their strengths, as well as their weaknesses.

They are living by the values that they have set for themselves in order to help them become better men, so lying is something that is not acceptable at all for the alpha male.

He is an example of what a real man is supposed to be like in today’s world.

8) Be confident

Alpha males are confident.

They know that they can accomplish anything they set their minds to and be anything they want to be in life. They have the courage and ability to make any kind of changes in their own lives as well as bring changes to the lives of others.

What’s more, when it comes to the ladies, alpha males are very confident in approaching them. They’re not shy or scared because they know they’re a great catch.

9) Be proactive, not reactive

Being a man with determination means that you will always be doing something which is proactive rather than reactive at any given time and in any given circumstance.

You are always ready to take on anything that comes your way rather than being a victim of any sort of circumstance.

When you’re an alpha male, there’s no such thing as being a victim, you are always in control and have the power to change your situation.

10) Be decisive

Decisiveness is one of the key traits which an alpha male needs to have.

If you want to be an alpha male, you can’t be hesitant, indecisive, or scared when decisions have to be made. You need to know what you want and how to get it.

In my experience, alphas know how to come up with the most effective decisions that can help them achieve their goals and they’re willing to take a risk.

The bottom line is that alpha males are not afraid of making big decisions and following through because they know the results are worth it.

11) Be focused on your goals

Knowing what you want, where you want to be, and how you want to get there is important in becoming a man of your own.

When you know what you want, the world sees that in your eyes and they will recognize it as well.

Being focused on my goals has helped me become an alpha male and I’m working towards my goals right now to help others like me.

Focusing is one of the things which can help you to be more productive and more disciplined as well.

12) Be brave

As you might have already guessed, alpha males are brave and courageous.

They don’t run in the face of danger. They’re ready to deal with whatever situation might come their way.

And the best part?

When it comes to their loved ones, they’re ready to die to protect them.

Being brave is one of the alpha male traits which you should try and incorporate into your life as well.

13) Be humble

The alpha male does not brag, he’s humble.

Now, no matter how great and successful he is, he keeps it to himself. No matter how big and powerful he becomes, he respects other people.

He has a high level of intelligence but he knows that there is always someone smarter than him.

For the alpha male, standing out is not necessary and showing off is vulgar.

And here’s something else: Being humble helps other people respect you more because they know that you won’t put yourself on a pedestal and think that you are better than them.

14) Be a gentleman

The alpha male is nothing if not a gentleman.

He believes that it’s his duty to treat women with respect and to always be kind and courteous towards them.

He loves women and considers them his equal.

He’s caring and thoughtful and wants women to feel comfortable and safe when they are around him because that’s he was brought up.

15) Be clean-cut and proper

He’s strong and tough but he also takes care of his appearance and he understands the importance of hygiene and grooming.

An alpha male will always make an effort to look good and to be presentable at all times because he understands that his appearance can affect the way people see him.

16) Be physically and mentally strong

Being physically and mentally strong is one of the alpha male traits which he should always strive for because strength is what will help you to get respect from others.

To be physically strong, you need to focus on your diet and your workout regimen.

To be mentally strong, you need to work on your well-being – that means dealing with your emotions in a healthy way and finding inner peace.

Being strong means being confident, self-assured, stable, and driven.

17) Be consistent

Alpha males are extremely consistent.

They don’t take the easy way out. They do what needs to be done when it’s time to do it.

People always know that they can depend on an alpha male.

Being consistent is a very important trait that you should strive for. More and more people are becoming inconsistent with themselves because they do not know who they really are or what they really want from life.

18) Be dominant

Being dominant doesn’t mean that you should be a bully. It means that you should be a leader and be able to inspire people around you in order for them to want to follow you.

Being the “alpha” doesn’t mean that everyone in your life is going to listen to you and do everything that you want them to do.

You see, you can inspire people so much that they really want to follow what it is that you are saying or doing even if they have the freedom of choice not to do so. This is one of the best skills that an alpha male has at his disposal and this skill can help anyone.

19) Have a good sense of humor

If you’re an alpha male, it means that you don’t take yourself too seriously. You have a good sense of humor and appreciate what it means to laugh and have a good time.

If you are able to find humor in life, it will help keep you positive and happy and attract people to you.

20) Work hard

Work hard and you will succeed. You need to focus on your goals, work towards them, and stay consistent with yourself in order to achieve them.

An alpha male isn’t scared to get his hands dirty. He has a good work ethic and is totally committed to whatever it is that he’s doing.

And here’s the thing: working hard isn’t just about getting paid a lot. It’s about saying ‘yes’ to opportunities that you never thought you would have the courage to say ‘yes’ to because you know that your hard work will pay off in the long run.

21) Be generous and selfless

Being generous and selfless is one of the essential traits that an alpha male should have.

Being generous means helping other people without expecting something in return. It means putting other people’s needs before your own.

What’s more, when you are generous and selfless, you attract positive energy into your life.

All in all, an alpha male wants to share his good fortune with others.

slow How to be an alpha male: 28 key habits to adopt

22) Learn to fight and defend yourself

A man who does not know how to fight or defend himself is not a real man.

He doesn’t pick fights but he knows that he can fight to defend himself against anything that is thrown at him.

An alpha male is always prepared to defend himself from any situation which may arise.

23) Be forgiving

Alpha males are always willing to forgive people who have wronged them in any way possible.

They know that it’s not worth obsessing over what the other person did to them or how much they may have hurt their feelings if someone did something bad to them.

The bottom line is that life is too short to hold a grudge.

24) Live by your values

An alpha male has values that he lives by and isn’t willing to compromise.

He knows that it’s okay for people to have different opinions about what is what and it’s okay with him if people agree or disagree with him on some issues.

25) Learn to speak your mind

Here’s the truth:

If you want to be an alpha male, you need to learn to speak your mind and stand up for your beliefs.

You should also know how to listen and hear what other people need to tell you as well because those are the things that would help define the future which is ahead of you.

26) Know how to say “no”

If you want to be an alpha male, you need to know how to set boundaries and be able to say “no” whenever anyone tries to take advantage of you or disrespect you.

27) Be patient and persistent

An alpha male is patient and persistent when it comes to achieving his goals.

Let me explain:

If you want something in life, you need to work hard towards it in order for it to happen.

Being patient doesn’t mean that you are going to accept “no” for an answer when it comes to attaining your goals – rather, you continue pushing until the end.

You keep working hard because you know that success is just around the corner and there’s really no point in giving up when there’s still so much left in this world for you.

28) Keep your word

You’re only as good as your word…

As an alpha male, you should always keep the promises that you make. This is why people like and respect you, and why you’re a natural leader.

You should never promise anything to anyone if it is not something that you are capable of doing.

Signs an alpha male likes you

Many people know that alpha males possess a lot of confidence and charisma, but what most people don’t realize is how they constantly project fascination in every single woman they meet.

It’s not only a trait seen in alpha males, but it’s also one of the ways you can tell when an alpha male is interested in you.

While these signs may seem obvious to some, I’ve found that the majority of women don’t know about them.

1) He likes to spend time with you

An alpha male likes being around a person they’re interested in.

This means that if he’s spending a lot of time with you, he wants to pursue a friendship or something even more.

Look out to see if there are any other signs that he likes you.

2) He doesn’t play games

Playing games is something that a lot of people mistake for flirting.

But don’t worry!

An alpha male isn’t going to lead you on or pull a bunch of tricks because he respects you too much for that.

He’ll be upfront about his intentions and he won’t play games with you to get what he wants.

3) He wants to get to know you

If he wants to get to know you – the real you – it’s because he’s interested in you.

He already likes what he sees and is excited to learn more about you, and he’s looking forward to spending more time with you. He wants to find out everything he can – from your likes and dislikes, to stories from your childhood, and even your plans for the future.

4) He compliments you

Now, there’s no doubt that alpha males can be charming and they’re not afraid to pay a compliment where it’s due.

Alpha males are very attracted to women who are confident in their own skin and who have a certain degree of self-esteem.

If he compliments you on your style, your smarts or your know-how, it’s because he likes you and he wants you to know it.

5) He makes you laugh

They say that laughter is the way to a woman’s heart.

There’s nothing he enjoys more than making you laugh.

He’ll do anything to put a smile on your face – he’ll goof around, tell you jokes, and even resort to physical humor if that’s what it takes.

If he works hard to make you laugh, it’s a surefire sign that he likes you and wants you to take notice of him.

6) He takes things slow

If he’s really into you, then he won’t want to rush to get physical because he wants it to be special.

He wants to get everything right the first time, and he wants to take his time getting to know you first.

He respects you and cares about you and thinks you have a future together.

7) He’d never dream of changing you

Maybe you think that you’re too short or too tall.

Maybe you think you’re too fat or too thin.

But to him, you’re perfect just as you are. He’d never dream of trying to change you.

In fact, he likes your little faults and imperfections because they’re what make you – you.

8) He’s protective of you

If he likes you, an alpha male is going to make sure that you’re safe and sound. His instinct will be to protect you when you’re in any sort of danger.

It doesn’t matter if someone is bullying you at work or if it’s a stranger on the street who looks like they might be dangerous, your alpha male wants to make sure that nothing happens to you when he can prevent it.

If he’s always trying to look out for you, then it means he cares about you.

9) He talks about the future

An alpha male knows what he wants, so naturally, he’s bound to talk about his plans involving the future.

Now, if his plans for the future involve you, then it means that he wants you to be a part of his life.

Whether it’s making plans for the holidays or further ahead into the future, he would not make plans that involve you unless he truly wants to be with you.

10) He’s honest

Alpha males are known to be straight shooters, especially with people they’re close to.

There’s nothing they love more than being perfectly upfront about what they’re thinking and what they’re doing.

If an alpha male feels comfortable sharing his thoughts with you, it’s because he trusts you. He won’t hide anything from you and he’ll be honest with you about everything.

This also means that if he doesn’t like something, he’ll come out and say it.


Becoming an alpha male doesn’t happen overnight nor does it happen in a few days or weeks.

It’s a process that takes time and you need to really want it and be dedicated to making it happen to be successful.

Once you become an alpha male, your life will change for the better. People will start to look up to you. They will want to follow you because of your charisma, your leadership abilities, and your confidence.

An alpha male is someone people can trust and go to in their time of trouble. He is someone who they can depend on.

So what are you waiting for?

It’s time to make the decision to become an alpha male and start going after the things that you want out of life.

Train hard, eat right, and think positive. Your alpha male lifestyle journey has just begun!

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Picture of Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the editor of Ideapod and founder of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 6 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you to want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.

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