Everyone always says, “You’ll meet the one when you stop looking”. But you don’t have time to waste – you already know exactly who you want to be with.
So in this complete guide, I’m going to show you how to ask the universe for a specific person in just 11 simple steps.
Let’s jump straight in!
1) Develop a positive relationship with the law of attraction
If you’re new to asking the universe for what you want, you should start by developing a positive relationship with the law of attraction.
Great thinkers throughout history have endorsed the law of attraction:
- “All that we are is a result of what we have thought.” – Buddha
- “According to your faith, shall it be done to you.” – Matthew 9:29
- “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, either way you are right.” – Henry Ford
- “Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson.
This law is universal, like the law of gravity. It doesn’t discriminate. But for it to work in your favor, you have to know how to use it.
This is because it is based on your beliefs, emotions, and vibrations. All of these have to be in alignment with what you want.
So if you ask the universe for a specific person, but deep down you don’t believe you deserve them… well, you won’t manifest them.
Are you ready to manifest your perfect partner?
Here’s a way to see if you’re ready to manifest your ideal partner.
Examine your internal resistance to what you’re asking for. Tell yourself right now, “I am currently in my ideal relationship with the love of my life.” What are you feeling?
If you believe it, great! You’re all set to move forward.
But if everything inside you is telling you that you’re crazy, if your stomach is churning and your mind is screaming “That will never happen!” or “I don’t deserve that!”, then you are not in proper alignment for your desire to manifest.
How to practice using the law of attraction if you’re new to it
If you identify with the thoughts above, here’s what you should do.
Start with something small and realistic for you. Practice manifesting things that are easily attainable. These can be whatever you want:
- A free parking spot
- A quarter you find on the ground
- A compliment from someone
- A phone call or text from someone you know
- A smooth commute to work or school
- Meeting a new person
- A specific item (ex: a pink shirt, a red box, etc.) — you might see it on the street or on TV, on someone’s shirt, etc.
Let these principles prove themselves to you time and time again. As they do, your resistance will decrease. Your faith in the universe will grow, your vibration will rise, and eventually you’ll be able to ask the universe for anything — including the love of your life.
2) Affirm who you want to attract
When you’re ready to ask the universe for a specific person, the first step is… to ask!
But actually, it’s more like affirming than asking.
Usually, we ask for things with language like “I would like to have…” or “I wish I had…”.
But when you ask for things from the universe, you have to do it in the present tense, as if you already have what you want.
So don’t say, “I want to one day be with the love of my life.”
Instead say, “I am in a happy and committed relationship with the love of my life.”
Ways to ask the universe for a specific person
There are several ways you can ask the universe for something:
- Say it out loud
- Write it down
- Simply ask in your mind
Many people suggest affirming what you want from the universe several times a day. You can make a habit of it every morning or evening.
But remember, that’s not all. There are some very important things you have to do next in order for your wish to manifest itself in your life.
3) Get very specific about who you want
When you ask the universe for a specific person, you have to actually be specific — ultra specific in fact!
Imagine going to a restaurant and saying to the waiter, “I’d like to have, uh, you know, that healthy tasty thing”. What do you think are the chances of you getting what you had in mind?
If you only kind of know what you want, then you’ll only kind of get it.
The universe answers your desires, but you have to know what you want.
Here are some tips to help you figure it out.
Don’t fixate on a particular person you know
We’ve been talking about getting really specific about who you ask the universe for.
However, this doesn’t mean asking for “John Smith, born 1994 in California”. Even if you have someone in mind, focus on their qualities instead.
Why? Well, for the simple reason that the universe knows much better than us.
When we fall in love, it’s often with the idea of a person. We don’t fully know them yet, so our mind fills in the blanks with the most desirable vision possible. We may be blind to who they really are, or not yet realize that they won’t make us happy.
Or, they might act differently in a relationship with you. They might not even be in the right place for a relationship now.
The universe knows these things. So think about the qualities you want, but leave the exact identity up to the universe. She knows best who can fulfil your ideal partner’s shoes.
Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want
Most of us know what we don’t want in a relationship. Yet, we remain unsure about what we do want.
For example, there is a big difference between saying, “I don’t want to eat hamburgers” and “I want to eat healthy food”. There are a lot of things that are not hamburgers that are still not healthy!
Focusing on what you don’t want is counterproductive because it’s almost always vague. And remember, the law of attraction doesn’t discriminate — if you ask for something vague, you’ll get something vague!
So make sure you get specific by affirming what you want in positive terms. For example:
- I don’t want someone who lies → I want someone who will always be honest with me, even when it’s uncomfortable
- I don’t want someone unhealthy → I want someone who takes good care of themselves both physically and emotionally
- I don’t want someone lazy → I want someone who is willing to work for what they want and doesn’t give up when things get hard
Consider inner qualities over superficial ones
It’s natural for us to want someone attractive to wake up to.
But we also know that the insides matter much more. No level of attraction makes up for being with someone who doesn’t treat you right, or who you cannot connect with.
So when you ask for a specific person, try answering these questions:
- What kind of relationship do you want to have?
- What qualities do you want in the person you’re asking for?
- How do you want to feel in your relationship?
- How do you want to be treated?
- What do you want your daily life to look like together?
Remember nobody is perfect
It’s easy to treat this exercise like an all-you-can-eat buffet. “I want this, and this, and this, and this, and this…”.
We put every positive quality under the sun on our list of “absolute musts” for our partner.
But if we ask the universe for a perfect person, we won’t get anyone… because no such person exists!
Anyone we attract will by necessity have shortcomings and make mistakes. And that is totally okay — after all, we aren’t perfect either. You don’t need perfection to be happy in a relationship.
If you’re struggling with this step, it might be good to work on your ability to forgive — it will bring amazing health and happiness benefits to you as well.
What’s more, understanding the fact that nobody is perfect is possible by exploring the relationship you have with yourself.
I learnt about this from the renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me to see through the lies we tell ourselves about love, and become truly empowered.
As Rudá explains in this mind blowing free video, love is not what many of us think it is. In fact, many of us are actually self-sabotaging our love lives without realizing it!
We need to face the facts about our real selves and accept the fact that we’re not perfect.
Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new perspective.
While watching, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find love for the first time – and finally offered an actual, practical solution to understand what I really wanted.
And if you’re looking for ways to ask the universe for someone, maybe this is a message you need to hear instead.
Click here to watch the free video.
4) Raise your vibration to match the reality that you’re asking for
As soon as you’ve asked the universe for a specific person, the universe answers.
But it answers first in vibrational form. In order to manifest a physical reality, you need to raise your vibration.
Even Einstein has said this:
“Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy.”
In other words, if you’re not getting what you want in life, then you’re not in vibrational alignment with your desire.
So how do we match the vibration of what we want?
Through the right emotions. Good emotions are good vibrations, and bad emotions are — you guessed it! — bad vibrations.
If you ask the universe for your ideal partner, but you feel miserable inside, how are you supposed to manifest something positive? In reality, you’d be attracting more miserable things!
When you ask for a specific person, focus on this vision and bring up the feelings of love and joy that you would have being with this person.
Use visualization to raise your vibrations
Visualization is one of the most powerful tools for raising your vibration. Engage all your senses and imagine the reality as vividly as you can.
- What does your relationship feel like?
- What does it look like?
- What does it sound like?
- What does it smell like?
- What does it taste like?
Also, imagine the specifics of your relationship and what your life will look like once you have it. Try this by answering the five Ws:
- When do you spend time together?
- What do you do together?
- Where do you go?
- What do you talk about?
- Who else is there?
If this is difficult to do in your head, try drawing or writing. Just remember to add the right emotions.
What to do if you’re struggling to raise your vibration
If you’re struggling to bring up positive feelings through visualization – because of trauma from past relationships, or any other reason — here is something to try.
Put yourself in any situation where you feel positive energy. Recall a happy memory, listen to music you love, or go to a place that makes you feel good. Focus on the positive emotions. Amplify them until you feel them humming in your body.
Now, shift your focus to the person you’re asking for and immerse your vision in the positive feelings.
This is a way to “trick” yourself to add emotions to your vision. You might not succeed right away. But stick at it and keep trying. It’ll get easier with time and practice.
5) Get rid of negative thoughts and limiting beliefs
As we just saw, you need to support what you ask from the universe with positive vibrations. But this doesn’t mean that you can’t, or won’t, feel resistance.
Your subconscious may be used to embracing a very different reality — one of lack and limitation. If this is the case, your new declaration will feel strange and unfamiliar.
But hold to it and don’t compromise on it. Eventually, your subconscious mind will get the hint and tune into your new focus.
You can also use your brain to override your emotions:
- You catch negative thoughts running through your head:
- “I don’t deserve to be with the person I want”
- “This will never happen for me”
- “Nobody in my family has a fulfilling relationship so why would I?”
- Stop that thought! Turn your attention to something neutral.
- “The sky looks so blue today!”
- “The grass looks very green after the rain last night.”
- “That person is wearing a very interesting coat.”
- Reframe your thoughts as positive affirmations.
- “I deserve to be with the person I want”
- “I know that the perfect relationship is awaiting me”
- “I am worthy of being with the person I want to be with”
You’ll have to do this over and over again to retrain your subconscious mind.
Don’t underestimate the importance of this step. Your subconscious mind communicates with your deepest emotions. And these feed the law of attraction.
6) Be the person your ideal partner would ask for too
When you ask the universe for a specific person, you need to be ready for them. Part of this is being someone who can give love and happiness back to them.
You want someone amazing. Someone who cares about you deeply, makes you happy, and who could be your everything.
But guess what… they probably want the same! Are you a person that they would want to attract into their lives?
Remember, the universe is looking out for you — but it’s also looking out for your ideal partner. It wouldn’t be good for either of you if you can’t be their ideal partner in return.
So as you send out your desire to the universe and work on the manifestation, be sure you’re also working on yourself.
Foster the qualities that will help your future relationship succeed. You don’t have to be perfect — nobody is, or ever will be. Just aim to be a little better every day.
Don’t wait to work on these qualities during the relationship. This attitude of “I’ll become a better person when…” is completely counterproductive to the law of attraction.
Rather, take advantage of the time you have now. You’ll be that much more amazing when you attract your partner into your life.
7) Act as if you’re already with the person you asked for
The book The Secret has a chapter on love. It mentions a woman who wanted to attract her perfect guy into her life.
One day, she was putting away her clothes, and realized that her closet was packed. How could she attract her guy when her life didn’t leave room for anyone else? She immediately made some space in the closet.
Then as she went to bed, she realized that she was sleeping in the middle of the bed. Likewise, she started sleeping on one side, as if the other half were taken up by a second person.
A few days later, she was sitting at dinner telling her friends about this. Sitting at the same table was her future partner.
These actions may feel silly — as if we were kids again, playing with imaginary friends.
Rest assured, you don’t need to start ordering two meals, or freaking out bus passengers by talking to thin air. But your actions need to align with what you want to manifest.
Take this woman’s example and act as if you’re already in the relationship (within the limits of sanity of course).
This is very personal to you and the specific person you want to attract. But consider these things:
- Make space in your home for one more person. Where will they sleep and put their belongings?
- Spend your free time doing the things you’d like to do with them. If you watch TV all evening, is that what you want to do with them too?
- Set aside the money you would want to spend on them. After all, your income won’t suddenly change when you start dating.
- Adapt your daily routine and work schedule to fit your relationship. If you want to spend evenings with your partner, but you work until 10pm, there’s a problem.
- Set aside time for “quality time” with them. (Spend it on self-care for now).
- Dress the way you’d want to dress to attract your partner. This doesn’t mean you have to change — but some people dress differently when they’re single and when they’re actively looking for someone. Decide for yourself.
- Send pretend text messages to your partner (or text yourself). Do you want to get “how is your day?” or “thinking of you!” texts during lunch break? Start “sending” them too!
- Cook and clean your home the way you would in a relationship. Doing things “for other people” can help us to realize if we’re letting our own standards go.
8) Watch out for signs and take action
Many people misunderstand the law of attraction. They ask for something, visualize, and then wait for the vision to magically materialize.
The truth is, the law of attraction is nothing if you don’t take any action.
As Tony Robbins once said, you can look at your garden full of weeds and say “I don’t have any weeds! I don’t have any weeds!” But unless you get down and pull them out, your garden is still going to have weeds!
When you want to attract a specific person into your life, you need to tune into that reality vibrationally. And then you need to be committed to this vision and take consistent action.
Let’s break down how.
Create opportunities to meet the person you asked for
The universe wants to fulfil your desire to meet the person you want. But you’ve got to collaborate.
Manifesting something doesn’t mean you sit back, do nothing, and expect the universe to take care of everything.
If you stay holed up in your apartment all week, what is the universe to do? Ship you your perfect guy in a big gift box?
As delightful (and creepy) as that may be, it’s not how things work.
Create opportunities to meet the person you asked for.
For example, if you’re asking for:
- Someone devoted to the same faith as you → spend more time in your church community
- Someone athletic → join a gym or fitness class
- Someone selfless → volunteer
Watch out for signs
Always watch out for signs from the universe. And most importantly, be ready to act on them.
Are you ever closed off in your own little bubble while out and about? Do you look approachable from your facial expression and body language?
Maybe the universe has tried to manifest your wish, but you overlooked the signs or weren’t open to them.
Act!
If you don’t do anything, signs will only ever be signs.
No wind will blow you into a bus and take you to your ideal partner. No iron hands will reach down to pick you up and plop you down in the right place. No puppet master will make you march over and say hi to someone.
Of course not — that would be ridiculous! (Not to mention terrifying!) If you don’t put any effort into getting what you want, why should the universe do it for you?
Likewise, you can’t expect the universe to force another person to do all the work. Part of manifesting a specific person is making it happen through your own actions.
If you see someone you like, don’t wait for the universe or anyone else. Take it as a sign, and take responsibility for the rest.
9) Trust that the universe knows best
When you ask the universe for a specific person — or anything, for that matter — keep in mind that the universe goes way beyond you.
It is literally everything that exists. She knows things that we cannot even fathom.
If you are not receiving what you asked the universe for, try not to get discouraged or impatient. There could be a good reason for the delay.
Maybe you need to learn to be happy on your own first. Or maybe you need time to grow as a person before you can receive your ideal partner. Or maybe it’s just not the right moment for them.
In the meantime, just go about your life. Keep raising your vibration, eliminating negative thoughts, and preparing yourself for the reality you’re manifesting.
Just don’t obsess over it. Remember, you should act “as if” — if you had your ideal partner already, would you be obsessing over them?
World-famous motivational speaker Lisa Nichols makes another great point:
“Thank god that there’s a time delay, that all of your thoughts don’t come true instantly. We’d be in trouble if they did. The element of time delay serves you. It allows you to reassess, to think about what you want, and to make a new choice.”
As you reaffirm what you want, you might uncover some new things about your desires. Maybe that’s what needed to happen all along!
Or maybe the universe gives you signs that don’t point exactly where you thought they would.
Whatever the case, make sure you keep an open mind and have faith in the universe. There could be valuable lessons to learn from whatever she sends our way.
10) Be thankful!
This is perhaps the most important step of asking the universe for a specific person.
Not because it’s the one that is most effective in attracting someone into your life.
But because it has miraculous benefits for your happiness and health regardless of the outcome of your desire.
Studies show that gratefulness:
- Makes us happier
- Increases psychological wellbeing
- Raises self-esteem
- Reduces depression
- Improves your sleep
- Improves your overall physical health
- Reduces your blood pressure
But if that’s not enough for you, gratitude is also proven to improve your relationships:
And lastly, focusing on what you’re grateful for directly supports the law of attraction. After all, like attracts like. So when you focus your thoughts and energy on things that you’re grateful for, you attract more of them into your life.
And if you can make yourself into a happier, healthier person at the same time… if that’s not a win-win, then I don’t know what is!
