You thought he’d run after you after your breakup, but he didn’t.
And that’s because you remain available for him, acting all nice just to keep him in your life.
Well, it’s time to put an end to being Little Miss Nice Ex and walk away—not just to show him you can’t be messed with but it’s a very effective move to get him back (if you still love him).
In this article, allow me to tell you exactly why and how to do it right.
How walking away is an effective “Get-Your-Ex-Back” move
I know what you’re thinking.
You’re thinking that this is a manipulative move (and yes, it kinda is) but it only becomes “manipulative” if you two are actually playing a game. That is, if you both still have feelings for each other.
If you walk away and this trick doesn’t have any effect on him, there’s no manipulation involved, right?
But basically, the only manipulation that you’re doing is making getting back together or moving on FASTER, which would do both of you good anyway.
Back to the point. The reason why walking away from your has worked since the beginning of time is this:
Walking away gives you back your power
You’re at a disadvantage when you’re the one chasing after or waiting for your ex to come back to you.
See, the thing with men is that they want a hunt. The harder it is to “get” something, the more attractive and valuable that thing becomes.
He has all the power in this dynamic. He knows you crave something that only you could offer, and that he can control you simply by dangling it in front of you.
The fact that you’re “below” him in this power dynamic makes you less attractive or valuable. But by showing that you’re willing to walk away, you reclaim all of that power.
And if he was just pretending to be over you so that he can play with your heart, then all of a sudden, HE becomes the chaser.
The power that was his is yours all of a sudden.
How a man feels when a woman walks away
1) He’ll begin to question himself.
You’ve been the best partner in the world before you decided to stop talking to him all of a sudden. Naturally he’ll first wonder if you’re alright, but after that, his questions will start turning inward.
He’d wonder if he had done something to make you mad. Perhaps he said something that rubbed you the wrong way.
Keep ignoring him, and his thoughts will wander even more. He might wonder if you have found someone new, or, barring that, if he’s simply not that interesting to be worth your time.
2) He’ll start paying close attention to you.
You’ve got him questioning and wondering, so he’ll try to look for answers to his questions.
But you’re exes, so it’s not like he’ll just ask you directly. He knows he no longer has any right to know your private life.
So instead, he’ll try to be a little bit more observant, and then pay close attention to everything you do.
You might see him interacting with your social media posts all of a sudden when he used to pay them no mind. He’d look at each of the photos of your IG stories even if he said he’s not a fan of using social media.
He might even try to be sneaky and try to know your friends better so that he can either ask them directly, or figure things out from what they might let slip every so often.
3) He will miss how you used to be.
Not all breakups end badly. Sometimes you might part ways with your partner on good terms, and settle for being “just friends.”
You’re still in his life, so he might not feel it at first. But that only makes it more devastating if you were to suddenly walk out of his life.
He would wonder why you decided to leave all of a sudden when things seemed to be going fine. And, after that, he would miss just how close you used to be, not too long ago.
He might try to act cool and unaffected on the outside, but inside he’s screaming his heart out.
But how can you understand how he’s actually feeling inside?
I agree that understanding others’ emotions isn’t that easy especially when they refuse to express them.
Still, professional advice from licensed relationship coaches might help. In my case, the advice from the professional relationship coach from Relationship Hero turned out to be more insightful than I imagined.
They quickly addressed problems in my relationship and made me realize how much my partner missed the old me. Most importantly, they provided practical ways to help me solve this problem.
So, if you’re also looking for solutions, maybe their advice can help.
4) He’ll feel the power dynamic shift…and it will scare him.
So, as has been mentioned before, when you’re the one chasing after him and you make it obvious that you still like him, then he will not only know, but feel that he’s in control.
Sure, you might be each other’s exes right now. But he believes that if he wanted to get back together with you, all he needed was to talk with you and you’re back in his arms.
So by walking away from that dependency and closing your doors to him, you’re making it crystal clear to him that you aren’t okay with that set-up anymore.
You may love him, but you have your dignity and you won’t allow yourself to be his doormat.
It will shock him at first, and he’ll be terrified because now it’s you who’s in power.
And as for him, he’s the one who has to prove that he’s worthy of you—probably reminiscent of the first few weeks that he tried to woo you at the beginning of your relationship.
5) He’ll take it personally.
Chances are that your ex will take your “ice queen move” personally.
Even if he’s not a narcissist, a man will start to think you’re doing it deliberately because he’s not so good. It will bruise his ego.
Aside from that, he might have seen the whole “walking away” routine with someone else he dated in the past, and is suspecting you of doing the same.
He’d get offended by this, too, because he thought you two were cool.
This is a reasonable and understandable reaction. You’d feel the same way if your ex does this to you.
But it also has its positives. By affecting his ego, it could make him try to reflect about his behavior and his part in the downfall of your relationship.
6) He’ll suddenly consider you a high-value woman.
You don’t need a man to think that you’re a high value woman to be one. Nonetheless, it is important to be with people who understand and appreciate your worth.
A diamond in the rough is still a diamond, but all that mud makes it look especially ordinary.
He would remember those times when he took you for granted. When he thought you were ‘easy’, and despair at how he can’t do the same.
Generally, being inaccessible or somehow forbidden just has its way in making men go wild over you.
He might start to wonder if he’ll ever find someone like you again.
7) He’ll start to regret the breakup.
If your ex is still into you, regretting the break-up is going to be one of the first things he’ll feel once you walk away.
Let’s face it. How is he supposed to experience the hard reality of his decision if you’re still present in his life, acting like nothing much happened?
But once he can no longer see or talk to you, or even be in the same room as you, it’s then that he’ll have to face exactly what kind of life he’s looking at—a life without you in it.
8) He’ll feel alone.
Men don’t usually feel alone—even if you’re already broken up— as long as there’s still a little something that connects both of you.
In other words, men usually won’t feel your absence unless you make it very obvious and abrupt!
But when you do that, he’ll feel everything you felt when the two of you broke up, sometimes more intensely.
That’s just how some men are. Everything seems kinda normal to them until you show them you’re really over. And this will make him feel alone and lonely.
9) He might want to move on.
But of course, there’s a hard reality (read: risk) that you might have to face. And that is he’ll take your break-up seriously and actually try to move on.
Perhaps he had already begun to lose hope that you’ll ever get back together with him, and that you finally walking away is the last straw to all this.
Or maybe he had been having doubts about wanting you back since your break-up, and this just makes the choice for him.
It could even be that he thinks you’ve found someone new, and is simply trying to respect your wishes by not getting in the way.
10) He’ll want you back, and FAST!
But sometimes, the very same reasons that would make some men give up and try moving on would make others try to win you back.
If he thinks you’re walking away because you found someone new, he’s going to try even harder to win you back before it’s too late.
If he thinks that you’ve decided to move on, he’ll try to do his best to make you regret that and instead make you want him back.
He might finally blurt out “Let’s get back together.”
As far as he is concerned, this could be his last opportunity to win you back, so he might as well go all-out in making you fall in love with him all over again.
Ways to respark his interest after you walked away
Do something out of the ordinary.
If he’s always seen you as an angel, act like you’ve just clawed your way out of the fires of hell. If he’s always seen you as a scaredy cat, do something that can make him think you’ve got balls of titanium. You get the drift.
Of course, make sure you’re not doing these things just for the shock factor. Make sure you’re doing the things that you actually want in your life.
It can be as simple as a bold haircut or going on a solo trip to Machu Picchu.
By doing something that he’d never expect you to do, he’ll look at you differently…which is the “reboot” that we’re aiming for.
Make him a bit jealous (but don’t overdo it!)
Men generally like to try harder at romance if they feel like they’ve got competition.
It doesn’t matter if it’s real or not—just the very notion that it exists is enough to make them try harder to assert themselves.
But just a warning: you should avoid overdoing it. Otherwise you might end up pushing him away instead.
Try a subtle approach. You might hint that you’re trying to get back into dating, or that a coworker of yours gave you a gift the other day—all things that tell him that he might have competition, but that the door isn’t closed towards him yet.
What you should avoid doing is to make it seem like you’ve already found someone new, or have already decided who you want to date from now on.
These moves would make him give up instead.
Do something you used to do to him—but do it to other people.
Remind him of your awesomeness—how generous you are, how funny you are, how caring you are—but do these things to other people (not necessarily to men).
Find a way to showcase who you are. Remind him of the traits that he now knows are missing in his life.
How can you do this?
For example, if he’s always loved you for being a good cook, then bring something you cooked the next time you’re both invited to a party.
Or if he’s always liked how kind you are, show this to your colleagues, especially when he’s around!
What not to do
Don’t think that he’ll run back to you for sure.
Walking away can remind him what he’s been taking for granted. It can rekindle his desire for you, and chase you harder.
But as I mentioned earlier, there are risks.
There are men who would instead get discouraged and move on. So only walk away if you’re willing to risk losing him for good.
Don’t make it seem like you’re mad at him.
If you want to keep the door open to your ex, then make sure it’s clear that you’re not walking away because you’re mad.
In fact, it would do you good to make a proper exit. You might say that you’re walking away because you’re trying to find yourself, for example. Or that you want to recover from the break-up.
Don’t date other people during this time.
If you truly want him back, then you should definitely avoid dating other people while you’re apart.
This communicates that you’ve moved on, and that it’s just cruel to get another man’s hopes up when you aren’t willing to commit to them either.
Don’t do it as a form of revenge.
Don’t try to walk away just to “take revenge” on the man.
It might be tempting to have him chasing after you as payback for all the time you spent chasing after him, but doing so will only fill your relationship with toxicity.
Don’t mistake passion for commitment.
Passion is just how intense he can show his affections in the moment. Commitment is how deep those affections run, and how willing he is to endure hardship for you.
Some men can be passionate, but balk at commitment. Others can seem dispassionate, but be truly committed.
He may run back to you but still not want to have a relationship with you. In this scenario, you have to know when to start using your head instead of your heart.
Don’t rush back into a relationship.
It’s incredibly important that you don’t rush your relationship.
That means trying to rush your ex through their feelings so that they can conclude that they love you “faster”, or jumping into a new relationship the moment that you confess to each other that you still love one another.
No, you need to take a step back and make sure you’ve dealt with whatever issues needed dealing with. And that takes time.
If you think your ex has been too comfy with your new set-up even though you’re sure he still loves you, walk away.
It’s one of the best tricks in the book to get your ex back.
But don’t stop there, of course. Walking away is just the first step.
If you really want to get your ex back, you’re going to need to make the right moves.
And the best person to turn to is Brad Browning – relationship expert and marriage coach.
No matter how ugly the breakup was or how hurtful the arguments were, he’s developed a couple of unique techniques to not only help get your ex back but to keep them for good.
So, if you’re tired of missing your ex and want to start afresh with them, I’d highly recommend checking out his incredible advice.