3 reasons why most women can’t have orgasms

It’s hard being a woman in the world today. So it should come as no surprise to you then that even enjoying sex can be hard for a lot of women.

In fact, studies estimate that only 25% of women have an orgasm during sex on a regular basis, and less than half of women have one sometimes.

Sometimes? Man, that’s depressing. So what gives?

It turns out that there are many physical, as well as mental, reasons why women are not experiencing orgasms as often as they might hope.

What’s more, it turns out that it’s not all the man’s fault, like you might have imagined or heard.

Men and Women Aren’t Designed to Fit Together

Despite what society, religion, and even the movies have taught us about the human body, the sexual organs of the male and female human are not built to fit together.

Sure, the penis fits inside the vagina, but it fits for procreation purposes, not pleasure.


To foster procreation, the penis needs to fit tightly inside the vagina, which isn’t all that comfortable or fun for women.

When men and women have sex for pleasure, women are more eager to relax, and they are better able to enjoy themselves.

Because our bodies and brains are still hardwired for procreation rather than pleasure, it can be hard for our bodies to come together in a way that allows a woman to feel comfortable enough to let her body feel what is happening.

It’s Called Making Love for a Reason

While the act of sex is very primal, the emotions involved are very real, especially for women.

If a woman doesn’t feel connected to her partner, she is less likely to experience the pleasure of any kind, especially an orgasm.

If a man and woman are having sex just for the sake of having sex, or if it is mechanical for reproductive purposes, a woman’s heart cannot open to her partner, and she inadvertently cuts herself off from allowing the physical and mental emotions to take over and provide her with pleasure.

It’s all very interesting and complicated.

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Obligation Takes Over

For many women, the sense of obligation still remains in marriage and relationships to this day.

While it was very real in the past, and even remains in some cultures around the world today, most western women are in charge of their bodies and their sexual activity like never before.

So why isn’t it translating into better sex for them? Because of the obligation that a woman needs to “be with” a man whenever he wants to have sex remains.

Imagine having sex with your partner because you feel guilty for saying no? Many women feel that way every day.

And it doesn’t get easier for them. If they have a choice to choose sex or not, they often conceded and have sex to keep the peace or avoid conflict with their partners.


How can that be enjoyable?

Women Are Learning as They Go

While the jokes still linger in society about the elusive g-spot or the loss of the female orgasm, millions of women around the world are trying to figure out what is wrong with their bodies.

Many studies have been and will be conducted to determine why women build barriers around their beliefs about sex and why they cannot enjoy sex the way men do.

As people become more aware of and take charge of rights and freedoms associated with the physical form, women are more likely to become in tune with what their bodies need and can take a more proactive role in enjoying their sex lives.

The difficult part remains in history: changing the view of women from childbearing, husband-pleasing, objects to powerful, sexual beings.

Society won’t change its view of women’s sexuality until women step up and take control of it themselves.


Women can’t blame men for all the problems they are having in the bedroom; it takes two to tango after all.

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Written by Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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