Are you someone who’s prone to jealousy? If you are, let me tell you: it’s normal to feel jealous sometimes.
However, this feeling can take over your life if you’re not careful…and if you don’t know why you’re experiencing it (warning: it can affect your relationships with others).
So here are 8 habits of people who never fall victim to jealousy, so you’d better be taking notes!
Let’s get started…
1) They take advantage of new opportunities
First up on the list: people who never fall victim to jealousy always take advantage of new opportunities in their lives.
They are always finding new ways to grow and expand their field of knowledge. Maybe they’re go-getters in their career or are passionate about helping others.
I know what you’re thinking: how does taking advantage of new opportunities stop you from experiencing jealousy?
Well, it’s simple – when you’re focused on your own progress and thinking about how to achieve your goals, you won’t have the time to compare yourself to others.
This is what it means to have a growth mindset: you believe that hard work will take you places and you don’t rely on talent or luck.
You’ll also know that you’re doing all you can to be a better version of yourself, which keeps jealousy at bay.
This brings me to my next point…
2) They know their strengths (and accept their weaknesses)
People who never fall victim to jealousy know their strengths and weaknesses – this makes them aware of what they can or can’t do.
Which means, they see no point in being jealous of someone who’s achieved something they know they couldn’t.
Let me give you an example.
Say, you’re a finance major and your friend is an athlete. Both of you are doing well in your field but you are jealous of your friend’s achievements – his medals, his banging physique, and the opportunities for him to travel the world!
If we break it down right now, we can look at the reasons for jealousy as:
- Wanting something that someone else has
- Wanting to be the hottest person in the room
A person who doesn’t feel jealous knows that these reasons are driven by emotion – not logic.
So what would they do in the above situation? They would:
- Find ways to have these things in their own way (e.g., going to the gym and working hard to travel the world)
- Appreciate that their friends’ strengths and weaknesses are different from their own
3) They don’t spend all their free time online
Let’s talk about another habit of people who never fall victim to jealousy: they don’t spend all their free time online.
I mean, think about it. If you’re a woman and you’re constantly bombarded by pictures of other girls with “perfect” figures and pretty faces, you’re bound to feel terrible about yourself.
And you may start to become someone you’re not, just to meet these standards of beauty!
(That’s right, you don’t “need” a smaller nose or a thinner waist.)
This is something people who never get jealous do: they recognize how social media can warp our perspectives of ourselves. And they never want to be a victim of low self-esteem.
Know that you, too, can overcome jealousy. But the first step to doing that?
Limit your time on social media…and find ways to celebrate how you naturally are.
4) They work hard to achieve their goals
Here’s why working hard towards your own goals helps with jealousy: when you know what you want to achieve and how to get there, you won’t have time to think about what other people are doing.
This is also something I mentioned earlier…
For example, you’re jealous of an ex-classmate who’s recently started her own business and seems to be thriving.
Your first thought might be: why not me?
Well, that might be your cue to start YOUR own business.
People who never get jealous realize that this feeling can be a motivator to work hard and achieve their goals.
That’s why they never feel jealous, at least, not after that possible first reaction. It’s because they’re always thinking about their next big project.
5) They ask for help when they need it
Speaking of working hard to achieve their goals leads me to this next point: the people who never fall victim to jealousy ask for help when they need it!
Remember what I said earlier about how feeling that things are unfair causes jealousy?
Well, here’s how to avoid that: ask for help when you need it, because that’s how you fight for what you want instead of sitting around wishing things were different.
I know, I know; it’s hard to speak up in situations where we aren’t sure if we’re deserving of help.
And maybe we tend to think: the people we’re jealous of did it all by themselves.
But really, how do you know that?
Here’s the thing: we never know what goes on in the lives of others. Take social media, for example – we don’t know what goes on behind a picture-perfect moment.
Even if someone presents themselves as “self-made”, it doesn’t mean they never had help.
In fact, there’s nothing wrong with reaching out to the people you know who can help you get ahead! It doesn’t mean you’re weak.
6) They don’t put themselves down
People who don’t experience jealousy never put themselves down. And I’m going to explain why that’s important.
Many of us use humour as a way to hide our insecurities. And trust me, that’s something I’ve done for a long time (so I get it).
However, here’s why it’s not always the best thing to do, and can affect the way that you see yourself.
Some of us put ourselves down as a joke, but soon internalize those messages – we gradually believe we’re “weird”, or there’s something wrong with us.
Jealousy comes out of feeling like we’re not good enough, and it happens when we see someone who’s living our dream life.
We ask, “Why can’t I achieve that much?” And we do it because we’ve come to believe we’re inadequate.
Well, that’s negative self-talk – so you’ve got to stop right now, and find another way to be funny.
7) They know when to stop comparing
Another habit of people who never fall victim to jealousy is this: they know when it’s time to stop comparing themselves to others.
You may think, “Isn’t comparing ourselves to others bad?”
Not necessarily. In fact, I’m of the opinion that if we didn’t ever feel competitive, we wouldn’t have an incentive to grow.
But of course, as with everything else, there needs to be a limit. And people who never, ever get jealous know that – they only take what they need.
So how can you apply this to your own life? Let me give you an example.
Say you have a role model who you look up to and want to be more like…
Instead of watching all of their interviews marveling at their greatness, focus on what they DID to get where they are today.
And do the same things – that’s the best antidote to jealousy.
8) They focus on their achievements
Last but not least, the people who never let jealousy get the better of them focus on their achievements.
For those who are prone to jealousy, this can be challenging. But this is where you need to learn how to celebrate yourself.
Here’s the thing about replacing negative self-talk with positive affirmations – you’re teaching your brain to associate your achievements with happiness. Satisfaction. All that good stuff.
This is something that people who never experience jealousy are good at…and let me tell you why.
The thing is that they’ve become confident enough in their abilities to know there’s no point worrying that someone out there is more skilled and more talented.
Because, let’s face it. There’s going to be someone out there who IS better than us…
But does that cancel out all that we’ve achieved? Definitely not.
Final thoughts
So, we’ve talked about some habits of people who never fall victim to jealousy. Do you think you’ve become more aware about why you’re prone to such feelings?
Realize that you were never meant to be the “underdog”…in fact, all you need to do is start seeing yourself as a winner!
