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9 reasons guys don’t want relationships anymore

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Are you finding that you are perpetually dating men and it feels like it’s going nowhere?

Do you want a relationship but it feels impossible to find?

We’re going to explore 9 reasons why guys don’t seem to want relationships anymore and how you can get their attention back.

We’ll go through some of the top reasons why men give up on relationships. And ladies, perhaps we can learn something from this approach too.

1) Relationships can feel challenging

When you enter a dating relationship with someone, it can require a great deal of commitment and compromise.

Sure, attraction is there, but as soon as we get close to someone romantically, sexually and they enter our day-to-day life, it can get a little risky.

Our partners can have different expectations than us or they can start to cross boundaries that we aren’t ready to negotiate.

Relationships bring up a great deal of learning, but also conflict. It’s easier to date someone for a short amount of time, and then back away before any drama or conflict starts to arise.

If you want to build a relationship with someone it requires a great deal of communication and effort and humbleness in our hearts to truly try to understand how someone else is thinking and feeling.

Relationships can feel like a whole lot of work.

And let’s not forget the idea that any relationship requires two people to make it happen.

Men seem to be steering away from relationships as if they’re allergic to them.

It can be much easier to date someone short-term and move on.

2) The “Friendzone” has less drama

Men easily put women into the ‘friend zone way too often.

You know, that place where they’re stuck as your sidekick?

They are left waiting for you to see them as a potential mate and not just someone to chat with on the weekends. They enjoy your company but don’t want to commit to you exclusively or put in any effort to get to know you on an intimate level.

It’s like they’re being overlooked as a person and being placed in a box.

So, it can make sense why men don’t want relationships anymore if this is the case for them. It’s easier to be affectionate and have fun with friends than to complicate matters by bringing in expectations of marriage, long-term commitment, and deep relationships.

People value their freedom and placing someone in the friend zone, it means you can still be quite close with someone without having to deal with the ins and outs of a romantic relationship with them.

3) There is too much pressure to find a perfect match

Many men face pressure to find someone completely compatible with them or to find the perfect match for them in their life.

One of the most common reasons guys don’t want relationships anymore is that they’re tired of the constant struggle to find someone who is just like them.

Perhaps they want to share unique aspects of their life with their partner and you can’t give that to you. Many men feel like their lives need to be completely compatible with their partner, or else they don’t want to get into a relationship with them at all.

When you’re dating someone new, it can be useful to get to know them. To meet them halfway and share your interests and qualities with them. You might not match up perfectly, however, if they don’t have anything in common with you or your interests, it can quickly become a one-sided relationship.

4) Single life is great

The pursuit of single life may be one reason why men are shying away from relationships.

It’s easy to see the appeal of a life unrestricted by expectations and responsibility where you can be your person. All the decisions you make are yours.

You have no one to take care of. Your money is your money. And your responsibilities are limited.

You can go out, enjoy a date, and not have to worry about taking care of someone, having someone take advantage of you, or having people lie to you to gain from your life’s work and efforts.

But bear in mind that just because a single life might seem more appealing doesn’t mean it’s better for you.

For example, living a single life may prevent you from experiencing love and the support that comes with it.

Sure, there is an upside to this (you don’t have to compromise), but there are also downsides to be considered.

You may not have anyone to talk with when you’re feeling low or someone to share in your success when you’ve achieved something amazing.

Sure, friends can provide some of these things, but they’ll never provide everything like the love and support and intimacy that a partner would.

5) Uncertainty

The world has changed a lot over the past few decades.

Traditionally, relationships were seen as one person providing and taking care of another, while the other tended to the children and domestic responsibilities.

There’s a growing trend of people choosing to be single and enjoying the freedom that comes with being unattached.

With this growing trend comes uncertainty about what relationships are now and what they’re supposed to look like.

This is a problem for people who are looking for a relationship because there are no clear expectations for what the other person should be doing for them in return.

One person might think it’s their responsibility to pay for all of their expenses while the other thinks it’s their responsibility to make their partner happy.

This can lead to an abundance of confusion between partners and ultimately bring up questions like:

“What exactly am I getting in this relationship?” or “Why am I putting so much effort into this if they aren’t doing anything in return?”

When you enter a relationship you never know how it will turn out. It might be a hot mess or turn into a powerful love exchange. It might be long-lasting or a quick-burning flame.

When relationships are uncertain, and that makes him feel uncomfortable, he might be more willing to stay single because he can stick with his life goals and plan.

Poor communication: the first reason why guys don’t want relationships anymore is poor or a lack of communication in relationships.

People can be demanding, come across as rude and not want to get to know someone as a person.

It’s been shown that people who communicate well with their partners have happier and healthier marriages.

Communication should be constant and ongoing, but it seems as if many couples are now deciding to stop talking to one another.

This can lead to major issues such as infidelity or just plain unhappiness.

If you’re worried that your partner might be cheating on you, but are unable to speak with them openly and honestly, issues can arise. It’s important to discuss what you are both going through instead of constantly trying to avoid the topic.

Communication is key in any relationship, so make sure you do your best to keep an open line of dialogue going.

6) Lack of “I want” in relationships

Men want to be wanted.

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They want that feeling of being desired, and if there’s no “I want” expressed in a relationship, it will slowly die out. They like to feel respected and admired.

There’s a psychological term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the ‘hero instinct’.

This concept is generating a lot of buzz at the moment as a way to explain what drives men in relationships.

I know it might all seem kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.

But this misses the point about what the hero instinct is all about.

The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in their lives. This is deeply rooted in male biology.

When a man genuinely feels like your everyday hero, he’ll become more loving, attentive, and committed to being in a long-term relationship with you.

But how do you trigger this instinct in him?

The trick is to make him feel like a hero authentically. And there are things you can say and messages you can send to trigger this natural biological instinct.

If you want some help doing this, check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here.

I don’t often recommend videos or buy into popular new concepts in psychology, but the hero instinct is one of the most fascinating concepts I’ve come across.

Here’s a link to his unique video again.

7) There is much to explore with sex

It’s not just one thing that has guys steering away from relationships. It seems like several things are going on behind the scenes.

Some might have sexual desires that they are shy to ask for or that they like to keep private.

For example, more and more people are getting out of monogamy and are exploring their options by having an open relationship and exploring different forms of connecting sexually.

There are swinging parties, online exhibitions, taking part in different forms of domination, and opening up to multiple sexual partners at once.

There are many sexual fantasies to be explored and this doesn’t always work well in a committed romantic relationship.

8) Relationships don’t make him happy anymore

One of the most popular reasons why guys don’t want relationships anymore is that they don’t make them happy anymore.

It might have been something that they enjoyed when they were young, but many men live very independent lives.

This can seem odd because happy relationships are supposed to be a source of happiness, right? Well, not always.

Relationships can leave us broken and hurt and the distribution of future partners if we don’t figure out how to move past them.

The constant arguing and fighting in a relationship can often be draining and tiring.

If a person isn’t getting what they need out of the relationship, then it may not be worth staying in it. And even if there’s no arguing or fighting, sometimes people grow out of one another over time and want different things in life than their partner does.

Relationships take work and compromise.

Many men feel like they shouldn’t have to do it today. Men come from an era where they were expected to provide for the family financially, so relationships were more about providing for their wives and children than anything else.

Today’s man doesn’t have to worry about providing for his family financially anymore, so he feels like he has more control over his life. In turn, this means that he doesn’t have to compromise with anyone on anything.’

They want to feel appreciated and valued.

This relates to what I mentioned earlier: the hero instinct.

When a man is made to feel needed, wanted, and respected, he’s more likely to give committed relationships another chance.

And it’s as simple as knowing the right things to say to trigger his hero instinct and make him into the man he’s always wanted to be.

All of that and more is revealed in this excellent free video by James Bauer. It’s worth checking out if you’re ready to take things to the next level with your man.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

9) Men are expected to do too much

Many men don’t want to get into relationships because they can be emotionally, physically, and psychologically exhausting.

They work at their jobs all day, pour their efforts into forming relationships, work on building a family unit and support their children. But, they can easily get dropped.

Their partners or wives can file for divorce and take half their assets. They can love their partner and be left completely heartbroken that they lose their sense of purpose in life.

Men feel an immense amount of stress and if they can’t achieve a level of success that means something to them and to the woman they are with they can easily feel destroyed.

Financially in a divorce can be completely devastating. Men mose a great amount of assets and can have limited visitation rights to their children. The risk of relationships can be too high to take on.

By now you should have a good idea of why men may not want to get involved in relationships.

So what can you do to resolve this?

Well, I mentioned the unique concept of the hero instinct earlier. It’s revolutionized the way I understand how men work in relationships.

You see, when you trigger a man’s hero instinct, all those emotional walls come down. He feels better in himself and he’ll naturally begin to associate those good feelings with you.

And it’s all down to knowing how to trigger these innate drivers that motivate men to love, commit, and protect.

So if you’re ready to take your relationship to that level, be sure to check out James Bauer’s incredible advice.

Click here to watch his excellent free video.

So in conclusion

A man may choose to stay single because it’s easier.

But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want a relationship. He just wants the right one.

A man may not be willing to get into a relationship with you because he thinks it’s too hard. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be with you.

He just wants the right one.

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be with you and have a family unit with you one day. He just wants the right woman at the right time in his life.

You have to earn his trust, loyalty and be honest.

Written by Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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