Like you, I’ve lost a significant person in my life. I kept on racking my brain, asking God what I did to deserve this kind of torture.
Although it took me quite a while to get over the pain, I realized that there are several reasons why the Almighty took this individual out of my life.
The same goes for you. If you’ve lost a special person in your life, it’s probably due to one of these 19 things:
1) They’re not part of God’s grand plan for you
God has a grand plan for you like He does for me and the people around us. Nothing sums it up better than this passage from Jeremiah 29:11:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
And, should something (or someone) get in the way, God will remove them from the equation.
Picture this: perhaps they’re stopping you from achieving your life’s fulfillment. Or perhaps, they’re dragging you in the opposite (or wrong) direction.
Although it’s disheartening to lose them right now, you’ll eventually realize why God took this person out of your life.
I know I did!
2) They’re not the right one for you
Even if you love this person with your heart and soul, if they’re not meant for you, God will take them out of your life.
As I’ve just mentioned, God has a grand plan for you. He’s made someone who’s perfect for you.
And, sad as it may seem, they’re not the partner you’re with right now.
It’s painful losing them, and I know how it feels. Trust me.
But when I found my Mr. Right, I realized why God pulled my ex out of my life.
We’ve had good times alright, but they can’t quite compare to the happiness I feel with my husband right now.
My husband and I are awfully the same. We share the same interests, which is why we get along well together.
I may not have realized it a few years ago, but God had a sound reason why He removed my ex from my life. He has someone else for me – someone who was the perfect fit for me.
As Proverbs 3:5 puts it, it’s crucial to “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”
2) They’re not who you need
There’s a huge difference between ‘need’ and ‘want.’
You need oxygen to live.
You don’t need a new bag or mobile phone right now – you just want it.
It’s pretty much the same with the people in your life. Although you may want them, they’re not necessarily the person you need.
They may be good, but they’re not helping you become the person God has planned you to be. That’s why He had to take this person out of your life.
Not only aren’t they suitable for you, but God is merely trying to avoid negativity in the future.
Explains psychologist Russell Grieger, Ph.D. puts it:
“This mental gymnastic—convincing yourself you need what you want—results in misery…
Sure, there is disappointment, frustration, or sadness when we don’t get what we want. But devastation only results when we think we need—must have, can’t live without—what we want.”
3) They’re only meant to pass by
Not all people in your life are meant to stay. Some are just meant to pass by.
“We don’t meet anyone by accident. There is always some intrinsic reasoning as to why someone enters and exits your life. And no matter how long they stay, sometimes people are only meant to stay for the time being. And that’s one of the hardest realizations we have to face.”
For sure, you’ve lost partners, as well as family members or friends, through time. I’m pretty sure it hurt at first, but you’ve managed to get through them.
That’s because like you, God has a grand plan for them. Perhaps, being in your life – even for a brief moment – is meant to improve their journey.
Perhaps, you’re meant to teach them a lesson.
On the other hand, it’s also possible that…
4) God wishes to teach you a lesson
God puts people in your life – and takes them out – in an effort to teach you a lesson.
“People who come and go from your life quickly are often the ones who expose you to new opportunities and ways to grow,” adds Davis.
Indeed, this is something that resonates with me.
I was never the ‘best’ girlfriend. I admit I was never sweet. I took my ex for granted, thinking that he’d be there for me always.
Boy, was I wrong. He became so fed up that he went up and left me.
I have to admit, this broke my heart into a million pieces.
It was during this dark part of my life that I managed to stumble upon the Breathwork video created by the shaman Ruda Iandê.
Compared to other life coaches I’ve come across, Ruda makes use of ancient healing traditions – with a hint of some modern-day techniques.
In fact, his video focuses on the dynamic breathwork flow, which is something he has perfected after years of practice.
I tried the video myself, and I’m impressed with how his techniques quickly relaxed me. In just a few sessions, I felt the stress and anxiety melt away with the surroundings.
The good news is that with Ruda’s impressive Breathwork video, you could experience this too!
After several Breathwork sessions – and prayers, of course – I realized that God placed (and pulled out) my ex to teach me a lesson.
Thanks to him, I began to change my ways. I may not be the perfect partner, but I’m pretty sure I’ve improved vastly.
5) They’re needed elsewhere
Circling back to what I mentioned prior, God has plans for each and every one of us. So if He removes this person from your life, it’s possible they’re not needed in your life.
They may be needed by someone else.
Let me go back to the story of my breakup with my ex. I felt so downtrodden then, questioning God why he’d taken him out of my life.
We were together for so long that I was pretty positive we were going to end up with each other. Boy, was I wrong!
I didn’t know it then, but I eventually realized that it was because he was meant to fulfill God’s plan for someone else.
He’s married now, and I’m married too – to the one God has planned for me all along.
But like most of you, the journey to finding my one true love. In fact, I wouldn’t have found my husband without the help of Soulmate Sketch.
It’s just what its name suggests. You get a sketch of what your soulmate looks like – courtesy of a psychic sketch artist.
To my surprise, I recognized my soulmate – aka my husband – right away!
Fantastic how things turn out, isn’t it?
6) They’re toxic
It doesn’t matter if they’re your significant other, or if they’re a friend or family member. If they’re toxic, God will remove them from your life.
As Proverbs 16:29 puts it: “A violent man enticeth his neighbor, and leadeth him into the way that is not good.”
And it’s not just because they’re sucking the life out of you. God is taking them out of the equation because they’re bad for your health too.
As a Prevention article explains it:
“It all comes down to stress since bridging the toxic person’s behavior with your beliefs about them requires some serious mental gymnastics. And that stress takes a real toll on your mental and physical health: You might feel irritable or lethargic, or end up with chronic headaches or even chest pain.”
See, it may hurt right now, but it’s for your sake.
Remember: God knows what is good for you – physically, mentally, and emotionally.
7) They’re holding you back
Some people in your life will lift you up, but some will surely end up holding you back.
It’s known as the crab mentality, which “is a metaphor for the behavior of crabs which when caught and kept in a bucket would not allow any of the other crabs to escape. When any tried to escape, the rest pulled it down (shared joy in misery).”
Surely, your loved ones wouldn’t wish you badly. But it’s human nature. As psychologist Loretta G. Breuning, Ph.D. goes on to explain:
The people bringing you down “don’t want to be stagnant of course, but seeing your progress rapidly shoots off their sad chemical, cortisol.”
God, of course, doesn’t want other people bringing you down. He knows you deserve all the success and triumphs you’re enjoying today.
He just won’t let anyone take something you’ve worked so hard for years.
Again, this is one of God’s little ways of looking out for you. Losing this person may sting at first, but you’ll eventually realize how much they’ve been holding you back.
As Proverbs 4:12-13 reminds bible readers:
“Nothing will hold you back; you will not be overwhelmed.
Always remember what you have been taught, and don’t let go of it.
Keep all that you have learned; it is the most important thing in life.”
8) He knows of their cruel intentions
Some people are wolves in sheep’s clothing. They’re just waiting for an opportunity to pounce on you – and do you harm.
“A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends,” reminds Proverbs 16:28.
Sadly, it’s not always easy to recognize these two-faced individuals. They’re great actors, which means they can easily lull you into this false sense of security.
The good news is God won’t let this fly.
He loves you, and He won’t just sit idly by and watch you suffer. In fact, he’ll try to nip it in the bud by taking this person out of your life.
You may be spiteful at first. Why would He remove this seemingly great individual from your life?
Well, you’ll realize the beauty of this soon. And yes, you’ll be thankful Good took them out – right before they caused irreparable havoc in your life.
9) The relationship has run its course
Some relationships last. Some, however, only happen to teach you a lesson. It’s heartbreaking, I know, but God will remove that special person in your life once your relationship has run its course.
Sure, persistence is key, but it’s useless to push through something that is irrevocably broken.
I’m sure many of us have tried to salvage a relationship that has gone overboard. And while it may have worked for some, it surely has spelled doom for others.
In the end, they just ended up getting their heart broken all over again.
“Sometimes, no matter how hard partners try, their relationships just don’t work…
The fact is, many relationships should end. That is especially true when both partners have done all they can, aren’t even sure why things went wrong, and are weary from trying.”
So if God takes your partner after your relationship has run its course, be thankful. It’s God’s little way of saving you from the bigger heartbreak that may come your way.
In fact, the proof can be found in Psalm 116:8. It goes:
“For You have rescued my soul from death, My eyes from tears, My feet from stumbling.”
10) God is merely protecting you
Some people in your life will only bring nothing but pain and misery. And, to make matters worse, you may have become completely dependent on them.
You’re not alone, though. A lot of people keep coming back to the toxic/bad individuals in their lives.
According to psychologist Dr. Helen Odessky, it’s all because “The excitement that this generates is grounded in familiarity, and we may find the intensity attractive at first. In the long run, [though], this wears us out … because our emotional needs for trust and safety and acceptance are not met.”
God knows this, and how you’re attracted to this bad person like a moth to the flame. Frankly, he’s had enough with how you’re being treated.
And because you’re unable to realize how toxic this individual is, the Almighty will try to take the matter into his own hands.
He’ll take them out of your life for your own good.
As Psalms 34:6 emphasizes: “The face of the Lord is against evildoers, to cut off the memory of them from the earth.”
11) It’s all about timing
When God takes a person out of your life, it’s not always permanent. They may be gone now simply because of timing.
Let’s just take the very popular couple that is Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. I was probably in college when they broke up.
They were engaged to get married and all – but poof! Things just didn’t work out, no matter how much they loved each other.
They ended up marrying other people. But in the end, they got back together – and got hitched just recently!
Indeed, “If the timing’s right and the gods are with you, something special happens.”
As to whether this would last, only time will tell. I do hope the best for them, though!
Before I get sidetracked further, all I’m trying to say here is that God is particular with timing. He may remove this person from your life right now because it’s not yet the right opportunity.
Just have faith in the Lord for this individual may come back to you once the timing is perfect.
As Psalm 27:14 puts it – “Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD. ”
12) God wants to make some extra room in your life
If your life is cluttered with toxic individuals – as well as people you want and do not need – it can be hard to live up to your full potential.
That’s why God is taking one (or some) out of your life. He wants to make room for someone (or something) better.
Take it from authors Linda and Charlie Bloom:
“When we look at the process of making space for it all, we have ample opportunity to face the confusion, breakdowns and all that relationships tend to flush up for us. We have a chance to develop practices that move us to become more understanding, tolerant, allowing, accepting and creative about meeting these challenges.”
13) There are better things in store for you
Remember the old saying “When one door closes, another one opens?” Well, this applies to your situation right now.
God has taken out this person in your life because he wants more room – one that’ll fit all the great things He has in store for you.
As I’ve previously mentioned, they may not be the ‘one’ for you. They’re good, alright, but they’re not great.
Wouldn’t you want to have the best that God (and life) can give you?
And, should you find yourself getting impatient with these ‘better things,’ then make sure to reflect on this passage from Habakkuk 2:3:
“For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false.
Though it lingers, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.”
In other words, have faith, little one!
14) You’ve put them above God
The Almighty is supposed to be the number 1 priority in your life.
As Matthew 6:24 puts it: “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other.”
See, God may have seen how much you venerate this person that you’ve forgotten about him. Instead of going out to church, for example, you’d rather go out on a date with this individual.
Remember: God is all-knowing so He knows if something is up. And if He sees that this person is not helping improve your relationship with Him, He may cut them off from your life for good.
And while this may sting at first, let me remind you this: God always has better things in store for you.
Chin up, dear. Don’t be sad, for everything will turn out great soon.
15) God wants you to focus on him
Trailing off from what I just discussed, God may take a person out of your life if you put them above him.
That’s because He wants you to focus on Him more.
He’s given you enough time to prioritize this person. Now, it’s time for you to go back to the fold.
Explains a Gaston Gazette article:
“We must remember that God is completely aware of what is going on, and He promises strength and guidance for His people. We need to learn how to listen to His voice, and then to do what He says. The first thing that He will ask any of us, of course, is if we have accepted His Son Jesus as our Lord and Savior.”
To further drive this point home, let me share this compelling verse from Hebrew 3:1:
“Therefore, holy brothers, partners in a heavenly calling, keep your focus on Jesus, the apostle and high priest of our confession.”
16) He’s doing it for you
It’s no secret that humans tend to be stubborn. You may already know that this person is toxic, and they’re not the right one for you.
They’re holding you back, and they’re keeping you from focusing on your relationship with God.
And still, you keep coming back to them.
“Like the compulsive gambler anticipating the big pay-off, the toxic relationship addict is waiting for the jackpot of love and affection from the other person. Not knowing whether that is going to happen or not causes adrenaline release.”
So if you won’t cut your ties off with this person (or they’re threatening you not to), God will do it for you.
Nothing emphasizes this fact more than Proverbs 16:9, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”
Simply put, the Lord knows how hard it is for you to let go of this person. You’ve been with them for quite a while, after all.
That said, the Lord knows that if He doesn’t step in, you’ll end up farther and farther away from his grand plan.
He doesn’t want this, so He’ll try to reel you in before everything else is too late.
17) Then again, maybe you’re the toxic one
A toxic person doesn’t necessarily know that they’re being toxic. Unfortunately, this might be the case for you.
You may be the reason why this individual isn’t growing – mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. In fact, you may be the one holding them back from all their dreams and goals.
Remember: you’re not the only one God is protecting. He also needs to safeguard other people – especially from the likes of you.
So goes 2 Thessalonians 3:3, “The Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.”
And, in case you’re wondering if you’re indeed the toxic one in the relationship, I recommend going through these signs. They should clear things up for you.
18) They deserve better
As you see in this list, God has many reasons why he’d take a person out of your life. It’s not always for your betterment, for it could also be for the sake of this person.
God has seen how you treated this person. He knows how toxic you are to them. He’s given you the opportunity to improve your ways, but you remain the same.
Needless to say, God won’t let this pass.
He’ll take this person out of your life for He knows that they deserve better.
Unfortunately, we don’t always realize what we’ve lost – until it’s gone. Talk about karma.
In fact, I’m also guilty of this. I’ve treated some people badly before, and God took them out of my life.
I didn’t realize how important they were – until it was too late. The flip side to this, however, is that I’ve learned a crucial lesson – one that I keep up to now. And that is to be a better, kinder person to the people around me.
Everything happens for a reason.
God removes certain people from your life because they’re not the one for you. They’re toxic, and they’re probably holding you back.
They may be needed elsewhere – just like you’re needed elsewhere too.
On the other hand, God may have pulled them out because of how badly you treated them.
What I’m trying to say here is you need to have faith in this divine decision. It took me quite a while to trust in God’s plan to take away some people in my life, but it proved to be ALL for my sake.
If He didn’t remove them from the equation, I wouldn’t have found my one true love.
Indeed, I’m proof that when God does something – no matter how painful it may be at first – it’s always for the better.