How to give a man space to pursue you: 15 practical tips (the only guide you’ll need)

If you’re reading this, it means you have someone you like and are interested in. The only problem is that he probably doesn’t know that yet.

Most women struggle when it comes to initiating the next step and letting him know where things stand with them. This is especially true given the current dating culture of “ghosting” and not responding to a guy after he makes his interest known.

If you want him to make a move on you, then there are ways to let him know without coming across as desperate or needy (especially if you’re new to dating).

Read on for some tips on how to give a man space so he will pursue you…

1) Spend time with other guys

Trust me, if you want to give a man space to pursue you then you’re going to have to spend time with other men.

This can be a bit of a double-edged sword though.

I say that because some men (especially the shy ones) might think that if you spend a lot of time with other men, then you’re not interested in them anymore.

On the other hand, spending a lot of time with other men sends the message that you’re not desperate and are pursuing your own life. He’ll also know that he isn’t on your mind all the time, which is an attractive quality.

This way he will feel the urge to get in contact with you and take the initiative to let you know how he feels.

But be careful and not to spend too much time with other men. You don’t want to send the message that you’re only interested in dating around or that there’s no special place for him in your life. This can be a bit confusing for men, especially the shy ones.

Just make sure that you spend enough time with other men (without seeming like you’re ignoring him).

2) Renew hobbies and interests

The truth is:

The reason why men hesitate to make a move on you is that they want to make sure that they’re not getting into something they might regret once the initial rush of being with you has passed.

So, the best thing you can do to give a man space is to make him realize there are other things besides dating that are important to you.

Read some more books, go back and take a few courses, get involved with other hobbies/projects, or meet up with friends from your university/work.

If you’re already doing this, then no matter what he says after he makes his interest known to you, it will be clear that it’s not because of the feeling he has for you but because of the other things in your life.

Try to spend time doing things that you enjoyed doing when you were single. If it’s too soon after a breakup, then don’t go back to your previous hobbies/interests, start new ones instead.

The key is to not make him feel like he has to be only focused on you, or else he won’t be able to think about the other things in his life.

Also, this is a good chance for you to discover your interests and hobbies. If there’s one thing that you enjoy doing that has nothing to do with the person you’re currently dating, then it might be a good idea to look into it.

3) Respond to his messages sporadically

Of course, when you give him space, you’ll want to respond to any messages he sends you regularly.

But, your response needs to be different from the way you usually do.

Instead of being nice and telling him that you’re busy and will reply to him later, try saying something short and indifferent like “great” or “cool”.

If he leaves a message, just let it be. Or if you have to leave a quick message, it should also have no emotion behind it. Otherwise, he will interpret this as a sign that you’re not interested in him either.

I know love is so hard to resist, but your happiness is more important than anything else, and making you unhappy by giving it away to the wrong person could lead to a lot of problems.

If you have tried all the other tactics that you read about here and still aren’t getting anywhere, then it might be time to consider the possibility of the fact that he just isn’t interested in you.

Sounds harsh, right?

But I have a solution for you, I once reached that point myself, and I know that it’s the best advice you’ll ever receive. By asking yourself “What is the best thing that he can do to make me happy?” you can come up with ways to find out if he’s truly indifferent towards you or not.

I learned this from the renowned shaman Rudá Iandê, he comes up with some awesome insights and has a lot of great advice, so I have no doubt that this will work for you as well!

But remember that he can’t choose to change his mind if you don’t make an effort to work on yourself, so this is only a temporary measure!

So just go ahead and give it a try, you’ll be surprised at how many times you’ll come up with something that will make a big difference.

Click here to watch the free video.

4) Tell him how good your day was

Another way to give a man space to pursue you is by telling him how good your day is, or how busy you are.

This is a way of letting him know that you’re busy with something else and that he doesn’t make the main part of your day.

Think about this for a moment:

He has already made an assumption that you only have him on your mind, that you don’t have time to give him because you’re so busy.

If you tell him that your day is good and that you have a lot of things to do, it will only increase the amount of time he has to think about how to get you back.

So, the best thing you can do is to try to put him out of your mind and focus on your work. Maybe he even went out of his way to make your day better by completing something for you, a small gesture like this will also help him gain some space to work on himself.

5) Make an obvious change to your appearance

Men are visual creatures and your appearance is a great way to express your interest, there is this saying that I’ve heard, which is:

“Men can’t take yes for an answer, but they love trying to get you to say yes.”

So when you’re trying to give a man space to pursue you, try making an obvious change in your appearance.

You don’t need to do something drastic like cut off all of your hair or dye it all black but changing things up can help him realize that you are indeed interested in him.

The easiest thing would be to add something small like putting on different earrings or a pair of black shorts (you know…sexy heels etc. if you feel so inclined!).

Also remember that men love women who are confident as well as feminine, so act as if you’ve been planning on doing this for days and make sure that it doesn’t look too obvious. Of course, you can use social media to let him know that you’ve made an obvious change to your appearance.

Not only will this help you get his attention of him, but it will also give him a pause to reflect and ponder over something, which are both things he needs.

6) Personal goals

While you’re trying to give a man space to pursue you, you should also start working on your personal goals as well.

“What personal goals?”

Yes, I think that it’s really important for all of us to have personal goals in life, regardless of whether or not we are currently in a relationship.

So even if the guy you’re dating seems like he doesn’t care about what you want outside of the relationship, that doesn’t mean that you can give up on your personal goals.

You don’t need to quit your job and become an astronaut, you can simply start learning a new skill or get a part-time job.

Whatever it is, as long as you’re passionate about it, then it will be a lot easier for you to focus on yourself.

And the best part?

He will notice the difference in your attitude and realize that you’ve been wanting to work on something else for a while, so he’ll start to become more interested in it as well.

It’s also worth mentioning that if you have a personal goal, he will also be able to see that you’re getting closer to achieving it.

Once you’ve seen that he’s started to take an interest in your goal, then it’s time to show him that you have a lot more of those personal goals than he could ever imagine.

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7) Don’t call or text but be there

You might already have experience with this one, but I’m going to write about it anyway.

One of the ways to get a man back is by ‘giving him space’ by being “out of reach”. But, you don’t have to wait for him to call or text you all the time.

In fact, if you’re just trying to avoid him because you’re busy then it won’t work. Sure, he will waste a bit of time thinking that you might be interested in someone else but there is definitely a way around this, and here are some tips:

  • Make your busy schedule sound more interesting for him, for example: “sorry I’m not free today, but I’m going to the gym.”
  • Be consistent with your ‘out of reach’ behavior, if you say “no” to him one day, don’t refrain from saying it every other day.
  • Make yourself unavailable by avoiding places/places where he is likely to be.
  • If you know he will be at a certain place, let him know you’ll be there so that he won’t bother texting you about it (you can tell him that the place is closed or whatever). Also, make sure the place is actually open if you do go there.

Keep in mind that being unavailable for him is easier said than done. Your thoughts and emotions are going to be all over the place, so be prepared for that if you do decide to do it.

But, if you’re ready, then go ahead and try it out. Just remember not to be too needy or annoying in your attempts to reach him.

8) Have your next meeting lined up

Once you have gotten his attention, you can try to change the topic by bringing up something that is more emotionally significant to him. None of us are perfect, so we all have our problems.

That’s why using the next time you see him is a good idea because it gives him the impression that he is important enough for you to think about. This will ensure that he will return to your side.

When you are able to make a man see how important and precious he is, then he pursues you.

The secret?

Don’t bring up anything serious or too personal, just something that will show him that he is still on your mind and that you’re having fun. This also makes it easier for him to forget the past because he can see how far you have come.

So, if you have accomplished all of the above, then don’t hesitate to tell him to fix his problems because all of them are caused by himself.

9) Let him know you have other interests and plans

The key to giving a man space to pursue you is to let him know that he is no longer the only one in your life.

You might have been with this guy for a while, but you shouldn’t talk about how much you love him, because it doesn’t make anything better.

Instead of imposing your attention on him and making him feel that he’s the only one in your life, try making him feel like he’s not so important (see tip 6).

If you’re able to do that, then he will have to pursue you. When you give him the space he needs, it will encourage him to work harder to win your heart. Also, if you really want him, then don’t be afraid to let him know how much of a catch he is and how other women love him as well.

This way, he will be determined enough to follow through with every move and make things right between you both.

10) Make it clear that you won’t tolerate bad behavior

Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve given a man space but he chooses not to make the first move?

At that point, you shouldn’t keep waiting for him because it will never happen. That’s why it’s important to set up boundaries early on in the relationship in order to avoid any complications later on.

If you’ve already established your own personal goals and your own interests, then don’t hesitate to show him that if he wants to be with you, then he’s going to have to accept you for who you are.

In other words, don’t hesitate to show him that you can’t do everything for him and that you are not going to tolerate any bad behavior from him.

But here’s the good news:

You can get tailor-made advice for your situation from relationship coaches. They not only help you understand how to deal with bad behavior in a relationship, but they also guide you towards a healthy relationship that is based on mutual respect.

Also, they can show you some unique ways to give a man space to pursue you. If you have tried everything in your power and still haven’t been able to get a response, then it’s time to talk to a relationship coach.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.

Click here to get started.

11) Give him some light-hearted push-back

Push-back is a good thing.

It helps him to set boundaries and keeps him from taking you for granted. If you do it light-heartedly, then he won’t feel like you’re being too bossy because he can see that you’re only trying to help.

Give him a situation where he has to make the first move and be as confident as possible in order to do it right. Don’t let him see that he is making you crazy, smile even if everything is not going well at first.

I believe that you are now prepared to give a man space to pursue you. So go ahead, give it a try and if he’s not doing what he should, then cut him loose and remember that if you’re going to meet someone else, it has to be because you want to.

Don’t be afraid to set boundaries with him because if you’re not being your true self, then you shouldn’t expect to have meaningful relationships.

If you’re done with his space and he still hasn’t gotten it, then don’t hold back. Just be honest with him and tell him exactly what’s wrong.

12) Show some minor signs of interest

I’ve been there.

It’s been done before. You give a man space to pursue you and you wait for him to make the first move but it doesn’t happen. So then you start thinking, “What is wrong with me? Does he not feel the same way about me anymore?”

But don’t worry, that’s not the case. He’s just not making the first move.

So all you have to do is start showing him some signs of interest and re-engage with him slowly. You need to be subtle about it because you don’t want to make it look like you’ve given up on him.

For example, if you’ve given him space for a week, then start talking to him about something that’s not too emotional. Just make it light-hearted and give the impression that you’re still friends.

You can even start flirting with him once in a while without the chase. This way, he won’t think that you hate him or that your feelings have changed.

13) Confidently refuse to see him more than twice in a row

When you’ve given him space, it’s important that you make it clear that you don’t want to see him more than twice in a row.

It’s not because you don’t want to see him, it’s because you’re trying to give him some space. The truth is that most men need space for a week or so in order for them to realize how amazing this woman is.

If he can’t see that, then things are going to get complicated and he might even end up losing her forever.

So don’t hesitate, confidently say to yourself that you’re not going to see him more than twice in a row. By doing this, you’ll put some distance between you and him, which will give him the time he needs to realize how amazing you are.

14) Give him some mystery while still being responsive and friendly

This is a big one.

It’s important not to give him too much mystery and make him feel that he can’t make any progress.

In other words, you want to be the kind of woman who is responsive and friendly.

If you’re doing this correctly, then he won’t feel like he’s being ignored because you’re giving him space. He’ll feel like you’re still interested in moving things forward, but you don’t want to know what’s going to happen.

So you need to get some of your own space so that you can have time to think about what you want to say next.

Also, make sure that he knows who you are and what you’re looking for.

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15) Be upfront about what you want and where you stand

The last tip is to be upfront about how you feel and what you want.

At first, he might think that you’re angry or feel betrayed because you’ve given him space. But that’s not the case. You’ve been giving him space because you want him to think thoroughly about this relationship.

So when it’s time to talk, you need to be honest with him.

Be straightforward and tell him exactly what you want.

Also, make sure that he knows that if things are going to move forward, then you have to have total control over the situation. You can’t tolerate any bad behavior from him because that would only hurt your feelings.

Final thoughts

Every relationship is different and you don’t have to go through what other people have gone through.

Whether he is giving you space or you’re giving him space, there are ways for the two of you to communicate and move your relationship forward without things getting too complicated.

Hopefully, these 15 tips to give a man space to pursue you have helped you. Stay tuned for more personal development tips and strategies in the next article.

Keep following me on social media so that you don’t miss an update. Leave your questions below and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.

Thanks for reading!

Picture of Thảo Anh Nguyễn

Thảo Anh Nguyễn

It is the little daily things that make life worth living and I know how to put you in the right perspective. I write about the intersection of life and love: how spirituality has changed my relationships, what I do to cultivate love in my life, and why I believe that all relationships are spiritual. Meet all your needs for your relationship and pieces of life advice with my articles.

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