Breakup hurts but at least you know when to move on. But when you’ve been ghosted after a serious relationship, the wound is left to fester.
You pour your heart into the relationship, only to find that someone has never had the decency to turn you down.
It’s miserable and it’s confusing. And as much as you want to stop thinking about it, there’s a part of you that just can’t help but wonder why.
Well, this article is for you.
Here’s the truth, being ghosted is more common than you realize. In fact, more than a quarter of relationships end this way.
So don’t waste time trying to figure out what went wrong or if it was your fault.
Instead, save yourself a lot of unnecessary heartaches and take these 20 steps to help you move on.
1) Acknowledge the pain you’re feeling is due to the loss of the relationship and not validate their wrongdoing.
You have to remember that the pain you’re feeling is due to the loss of what you thought it would be.
Nobody wants to feel abandoned, cheated on and betrayed. So learn from this and know that this will not happen again.
While your heart is healing and you’re taking time for yourself, it’s important to think of healthy ways to cope with the pain.
If you need to cry, allow yourself to be vulnerable and cry.
Allow yourself the time you need for healing so the wound doesn’t get worse when you do eventually move on.
2) Recognizing that they didn’t have your best interests at heart when they disappeared on you.
You need to recognize it’s not your fault and know that you deserve better than this type of behavior.
It’s true that we’re all going to make mistakes and you should learn from them.
However, if someone had the intention of leaving you hurt and alone, then something is wrong.
So when the rug gets pulled out from underneath your feet, it’s important to recognize that your feelings are valid.
3) Take time for yourself to heal.
It’s important to take care of yourself first. That means not checking your phone every five minutes or keeping up with social media.
I know it’s tempting to keep tabs on your ex’s whereabouts. But this can be unhealthy.
Let me tell you this, it’s true that you might hear from them again, but if they don’t show any signs of wanting a relationship with you in the future, it’s best to stay away from them.
Let yourself heal from the heartbreak. Spend time with family and friends. Go out with your friends and find new activities to occupy your time. Find things that will help you get back to a normal, healthy life.
4) While the steps in this article will help you deal with being ghosted after a serious relationship, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the specific issues you’re facing in your love life.
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like how to survive being ghosted after a serious relationship. They’re popular because they genuinely help people solve problems.
Why do I recommend them?
When I was going through the same situation as you, I blamed myself. I was afraid, angry, and depressed. And it all got worse because I couldn’t fix this on my own.
Then I found Relationship Hero, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the negative feelings I was experiencing.
I was blown away by how genuine, understanding, and professional they were.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.
5) Let go of the idea of what it could have been and don’t linger on the past.
It’s easier said than done, but you have to let go of the idea of what it could have been and don’t linger on the past.
Realize that you haven’t lost yourself or your worth, because if you truly love yourself, then nothing they do or don’t do can hurt you.
It’s not easy to forget someone when they were a big part of your life. But try to see their actions in a different light.
6) Realize that you have other options out there.
I know this can take some time but be brave enough to get back on the horse and start dating again, then do it with a vengeance.
You’re a person of value, who deserves to be happy and know just how special they are.
Stop beating yourself up because they aren’t around anymore. Remember, when you change the way you look at things, the things that look at you change.
So remember that you deserve better treatment in a relationship and only good will come your way when you open your heart again.
7) Realize that you’re not the problem.
If you’re struggling with the idea that you have done something wrong, know that this is not true.
We tend to blame ourselves for the things that happen to us, but it’s important not everything has to do with us. Remember this: You’re not responsible for the actions of others.
You can’t control how others want to behave. But you can always choose to take responsibility for your own actions. And you made the right choice by walking away from this situation.
Ghosting is a sign of a lack of communication and respect. You can try to communicate with them to find out what the issues are and work from there as a mature person.
That’s the best you can do on your part. If they don’t make an effort to communicate with you, then it’s clear that this relationship isn’t worth it for you.
In a healthy relationship, it’s important that both parties are willing to share the responsibilities of the relationship.
You can’t be the only one who puts in the effort and is dedicated to making this work. If you’re experiencing the same thing again, then consider these questions:
- What does this person mean to me? What do I need from this relationship?
- Is it worth my time?
- How should I feel about myself as a result of this relationship?`
Ghosting is common behavior in high school and college relationships, but it’s not okay in adult relationships. It’s just a sign of immaturity and selfishness.
8) Work on yourself.
Work on yourself inside and out.
You have to heal from the pain and find a way to deal with it.
While you’re healing, give this article a read and try some of my advice for healing. If you need help, I recommend Relationship Hero to help get you back in the game.
My ex who I thought was the love of my life ghosted me, and I know how it feels.
When I was at the worst point in my relationship I reached out to a relationship coach to see if they could give me any answers or insights.
I expected some vague advice about cheering up or being strong. I really needed a support system, a coach who understood the relationship dynamics we were dealing with and could help me deal with my pain in a way that made sense.
I didn’t expect the holistic report I got. It was honest, it was helpful, but it also just sucked me into the space. Being transparent and vulnerable with someone you trust can be very powerful.
When I look back on how things are now, it’s clear that what my coach told me back then did work for me.
Relationship Hero is where I found this special coach who helped turn things around for me and helped me understand how to get over the pain of being ghosted by lover.
Relationship Hero is an industry leader in relationship advice for a reason.
They provide solutions, not just talk.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.
9) Stop trying to figure out where you went wrong.
We tend to look back and think of all the things we could have done differently, which is normal. But don’t do this after being ghosted.
Instead, realize that the person who walked away from this relationship is not someone who was compatible with you in the first place…
A relationship is supposed to make you feel good, not hurt and miserable. Don’t keep trying to fix something that’s unfixable.
10) Remember that there’s always a lesson to be learned.
I know this can be hard, but one day you will look back and see that this experience was meant to teach you something.
Maybe you did something wrong and got rejected, or maybe this person has a lot of baggage and couldn’t handle the relationship. Either way, you will never know what it is unless you are willing to take the risk of opening up and getting hurt again.
With experience, you will realize that rejection is just a part of life. And it was perfectly normal for you to be hurt by this person’s actions.
But you will also learn that you can’t dwell on past mistakes and that there are plenty of lessons to be learned from them.
11) Don’t forget yourself and your own needs in this process.
I know how hard it can be when someone has been in your life for so long, especially when they were an important part of your life.
It can be really tough to move on, and it does hurt when you’re left behind. It’s really important to remember that you deserve to be happy just as much as they do.
Maybe this person will eventually reach out to you. But if not, persistence is key here… You have to keep trying until you find a way through this situation.
Because you deserve better and you’re stronger than this, it’s time to let go and move on. Be brave enough to keep going and more smiles will await you on the other side.
The person who once was your source of happiness is not the only one who can make you happy.
12) Keep busy and surround yourself with people who care about you.
Keep busy and surround yourself with friends and family who care about you. Having a support system is crucial to move on after being ghosted by your ex.
It’s okay to miss them sometimes as the beginning is the hardest: You might feel sad, angry, confused, and lonely. All you want is to feel good again. But you can’t rush things or make decisions based on your emotions in the short term.
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that getting back with this person will make you feel better. It won’t.
Instead, do things that help you to feel good about yourself like spending time with people who truly care about you and process this experience at the same time.
This will bring you back to the center, and you can slowly move on from here.
13) Know that this is temporary.
There’s no doubt that the pain of being ghosted sucks.
But remember that this doesn’t last forever. You will recover, and it will get better.
I know that when you’re in this dark place right now it’s hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel. But I promise you, there is hope out there! Just keep on going and soon enough, things will start looking up.
14) Don’t get stuck in this grief stage. You can get through this if you decide to keep moving forward.
Even though it might be difficult to believe this now, you can get through this if you decide to keep moving forward.
Even though it hurt, you have these great memories of the time together with this person. You had a very special bond with them, and I’m sure there are still things that are worth being grateful for.
It’s hard to see that now, but what matters is that you find a way out of this situation. And you will if you decide to keep moving forward.
15) Keep your dignity high and live your life without regrets.
Someone who ghosted me once told me they didn’t want to hurt me and break my heart by leaving me behind.
But what about the heartbreak I felt when I was left behind? What about the humiliation that I experienced?
As annoying as it is to have moments like these when you’ve been ghosted, you have to remember that it’s not your fault and don’t let this person make you feel like less.
Don’t hurt yourself by letting this ghosting affect your self-esteem. Don’t let him or her make you feel bad about yourself.
Respect yourself enough to walk away and live your life without regrets.
16) Move on. Stop looking back and focus on what’s happening right now and look forward.
Don’t let the past get to you. Instead, let it fuel your commitment to finding yourself a new relationship that you are excited about.
And these new relationships will make you happy again, not just because they’re great people who can make you feel good but also because they’ll help you to move on from your past and move towards something better in the future.
17) Don’t put your life on hold because of this experience.
You owe it to yourself to forgive and forget the past and embrace the future. You can’t change it. You can only learn from it and move forward in life.
And that’s what you need to do from here on out!
Rejection is definitely not the best feeling, but this experience will make you stronger in the long run. All you have to do is not give up and remember that there are other people out there who might be a better match for you anyway.
The important thing is to keep moving forward and be open to a better relationship in the future. That’s how you get through rejection and how you can build your confidence in yourself again.
Find a way back to being happy! And to do that, you’ll have to forget any ghosts who have been haunting you in the past. You’ll have to let go of them, just like you did for your past relationships that didn’t work out.
Don’t give up! Keep moving forward and soon enough, a new set of doors will open for you and you’ll find someone even better than before.
18) Don’t torture yourself by looking for answers or reasons for being ghosted.
If being ghosted by your ex has made you feel confused, don’t torture yourself by searching for answers and asking for reasons why this happened to you. As hard as it is, the most important thing you can do at this point is to let go of the relationship and focus on yourself.
You can’t know the reason why your ex decided to break off the relationship.
19) Take time to reflect on why it didn’t work out with your ex.
We tend to think we’re in control of a relationship, but the truth is, relationships can be very complex and there’s no way to know what went wrong until it’s too late.
Take time to reflect on why it didn’t work out with your ex.
Most people know this deep down, but they’re afraid of how they’ll handle the pain. So they would rather ignore these feelings than deal with it.
Try to use the pain as a tool for a change instead of holding onto it.
What I personally like to do in times like this is journaling. Writing down my thoughts helps me see things more clearly and can focus on what’s real and not get distracted by the pain.
Another great way to deal with the pain is to talk about it. Talking with friends and family members can be very comforting, and you’ll often find that they can help you see things from another perspective as well.
Give these methods a try and it might help you to acknowledge the underlying issues between you and your ex. Truth can be very painful but if you can accept it, you’ll be able to let go and move on.
20) Learn from this relationship failure by examining how it impacted your life, how it has changed you, and how you got here.
From my experience, when I was going through the pain of being ghosted by my ex-lover, I was fortunate to find Relationship Hero
Their professional relationship coach helped me to see failure from a different perspective. Through this failure, I realized there is a big gap between what I expected and what I have experienced.
I have learned about how I want to be loved and wanted, for who I really am, not for what others think of me. And how it is important to accept the differences between people.
This failure has changed me in a way that I value more honesty and my own needs. This has made me even more aware of how we should listen to our hearts instead of following our minds.
In a difficult time like this, it’s really helpful to have a professional coach who will be there to provide the support you need.
They will help you to process this experience and help you to move forward in a confident way. You will be surprised by how quickly you can move out of a bad relationship and find happiness again.
They will help you to be strong enough to move forward and learn the best lessons you can from this experience.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.
Now it’s time to put these steps into practice.
OK, I know what you’re thinking. It’s much easier said than done, right?
Dealing with the pain of being ghosted by your lover is difficult. I know that you miss your ex and that it hurts. Right now you might be thinking about him or her a lot. You might be thinking about what went wrong and why he or she left you so suddenly, without any warning.
Maybe you’re asking yourself if they ever really loved you at all. Maybe you’re wondering if there’s anything in common between the two of you and if there’s still a chance of getting back together with them.
But let me tell you one thing, you are worthy of good love and respect. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you are not good enough or that you deserve the pain.
Now let that sink in for a second. You are worthy of good love and respect.
And you can get there, even if it requires setting some boundaries and making some personal changes to become a stronger, more confident person in future relationships.
I know it isn’t easy right now to hear this after you’ve been dumped so suddenly by your ex. But trust me when I say that you will feel better in the long run if you make these changes sooner rather than later.
Know Your Worth.
I would recommend you to start by telling yourself something like this every day:
I am a good person. I deserve to be loved and treated with respect. I am worthy of love and respect.
These affirmations will help you remind yourself of your own worthiness, and it can help you accept that your ex had poor timing in ending your relationship, but it’s not about you at all.
It’s about their personal issues that caused them to break up with you without warning or explanation.
Don’t take it personally.
What happens when you learn to love and respect yourself?
Once you realize how much you deserve, you won’t allow yourself to be victimized by someone who doesn’t treat you right.
When you don’t know what you want, oftentimes, others will decide for you. So, make sure to discover what you want, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
When you treat yourself with love and respect, others will notice it and treat you the same way.
And that is how you create your own luck.
Persistence is key.
If this is new for you, be patient with yourself. It may take a little time to get used to it, but trust me when I say that being kind to yourself will help you see things from a new perspective.
You will make better decisions for yourself. And I promise you this, once you are feeling happy and confident, that is when your ex will start to reach out to you. Trust me on this.
So keep practicing self-love. And you will thank me later.
Everything you have learned from this article should help you overcome the pain and move on. You can either sit there and dwell on the past, or you can learn to walk in love and accept what happened to you.
Last but not least, always be there for yourself.
No matter who lets you down or disappears from you, it doesn’t make you a failure.
You are not defined by your relationships. Love is a personal experience. If someone hurts you and takes advantage of you, it’s their loss, not yours.
That’s all for now, sweetheart. I hope this article has helped you in one way or the other and that you are able to move on with your life and find a better partner again in the future!
