My girlfriend says she needs time so I broke up with her

Okay, let me tell you about the biggest mistake I’ve ever made in my life!

My girlfriend said she needed some time, and what did I do?

I broke up with her!

Yeah, looking back, I can see how that was a mistake, but let me tell you a bit more about my story:

A bit about my girlfriend

Let me tell you a bit about my girlfriend before we start.

Before I broke up with my girlfriend, we had been together for about a year and a half.

We were both in our mid-twenties.

She is a nice, sweet girl who made me feel happy, relaxed, and loved.

She came from a good family, had a good job and we were on the same page when it came to many things in life.

And, most importantly, she loved me. So, why did I break up with her? Well, I’ll tell you more about that later on in this article.

She simply said she needed some time

jumpstory download20220818 165059 My girlfriend says she needs time so I broke up with her

After being together for a while, she asked me to take a break.

It was simply a time-out from our relationship, but I didn’t understand that at the time.

I thought it was the end of our relationship.

My girlfriend told me that she needed some time to figure out her feelings, so I decided to respect her wishes and not pressure her into anything.

I let her know that I was there for her whenever she was ready.

But in reality, I was angry.

I didn’t understand why she wanted space from me and what she needed to figure out.

I thought I needed to respect myself and decided to break up with her

Throughout the break, I felt pressure from my friends and family to get back with my girlfriend.

They wanted me to re-start the relationship, but I knew that I didn’t want to re-start it right away.

I wanted to take some time to myself. In my head, I needed to respect myself and decide what I wanted.

So what did I do?

I broke up with her.

At the time, I thought I was respecting myself, but looking back, I realize I was disrespecting both myself and my girlfriend and her needs.

I was simply being too self-centered, and it affected me for a long time after this breakup.

What happened after the breakup?

After the breakup, I first felt great.

I missed my girlfriend, but I felt as if I made the right decision by breaking up with her.

Sometimes, I thought about getting back with my girlfriend, but I was scared.

I didn’t know where she was, and I was afraid she wouldn’t want to go back out with me.

I would talk to her every now and then, but I felt a bit awkward around her.

Essentially, I didn’t know if she wanted to re-start the relationship or not.

1) Things went from bad to worse

jumpstory download20220818 165034 My girlfriend says she needs time so I broke up with her

After a couple of weeks, my girlfriend started seeing another guy. Actually, I don’t know if they were actually seeing each other or if they were just friends, I just saw them at a café and assumed the worst.

I was shocked and felt terrible.

I thought about getting back with her, but I didn’t know how to tell her that I wanted her back.

I thought maybe she had moved on and that I should respect her new relationship (if it even was one).

Simply put, I didn’t talk to her much after that, and I began to become depressed.

I was worried about my health and was constantly worried about how I was feeling.

I didn’t want to see anyone, and I didn’t want to be around people.

I thought maybe I had developed social anxiety, but I’d never been a shy person, so I think I was just sad.

2) The big regret sunk in

I knew the breakup was my fault, but I didn’t want to go back to my girlfriend right away.

Sure, I wanted to re-start the relationship, but I was scared.

I was worried about how I would tell my girlfriend that I wanted her back.

I didn’t know if she would want to go back out with me.

Heck, I wasn’t sure if she had moved on, and I didn’t know how to get in touch with her.

You see, I was worried about the awkward silence that had come between us.

I hadn’t talked to her in a while.

The thing is, I knew I needed to talk to her, but I was worried about what she would say. I was worried she would say no.

I didn’t know what to do, so I simply ignored the problem.

I ignored my feelings and pushed them aside, but they kept coming back. They would come back stronger every time.

The regret really started to sink in a few weeks after I broke up with her.

What I’ve learned from this experience

I learned that I needed to love myself more.

I was being too self-centered, and I wasn’t looking out for my girlfriend’s needs at all.

I was only thinking about myself and my feelings.

But the worst part was that I broke up with her for all the wrong reasons.

I thought that if I broke up with my girlfriend, then I could figure out what I wanted and what I needed.

I thought I could get myself together, but that didn’t happen. I didn’t figure anything out, and I only hurt my girlfriend and myself.

I simply needed to love myself more.

But that raises the question:

Why does love so often start out great, only to become a nightmare?

And what’s the solution to dealing with your girlfriend wanting a break?

The answer is contained in the relationship you have with yourself.

I learned about this from the renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me to see through the lies we tell ourselves about love, and become truly empowered.

As Rudá explains in this mind-blowing free video, love is not what many of us think it is. In fact, many of us are actually self-sabotaging our love lives without realizing it!

We need to face the facts about needing space from a partner.

Far too often we chase an idealized image of someone and build up expectations that are guaranteed to be let down.

Far too often we fall into codependent roles of savior and victim to try to “fix” our partner, only to end up in a miserable, bitter routine.

Far too often, we are on shaky ground with our own selves and this carries over into toxic relationships that become hell on earth.

Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new perspective.

While watching, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find love for the first time – and finally offered an actual, practical solution to dealing with your partner needing space.

If you’re done with unsatisfying dating, empty hookups, frustrating relationships, and having your hopes dashed over and over, then this is a message you need to hear.

Click here to watch the free video.

I needed to be more open to communication and not simply ignore my feelings. After all, I was hurting myself more than helping myself.

1) I was being too self-centered, and I wasn’t looking out for my girlfriend’s needs at all

jumpstory download20220818 165129 My girlfriend says she needs time so I broke up with her

I was being too self-centered, and I wasn’t looking out for my girlfriend’s needs at all.

I thought that if I broke up with her, then I could figure out what I wanted and what I needed.

I thought I could get myself together, but in reality, I just needed to love myself enough to realize that I was okay and her needing space had nothing to do with me personally.

2) I simply needed to love myself more

Once I realized this, everything became a lot more clear.

I figured out why my girlfriend needed time in the first place and that I didn’t need to get so worked up over a couple of days of space.

The truth is: if she wanted to end things, then that would save me time to find the person I’m meant to be with, and if not, then that’s nothing I need to worry about and we’ll figure it out.

3) I needed to focus on both our needs

I needed to start taking care of myself and respecting myself.

I needed to focus on my own needs and make sure that they were being met.

I needed to be considerate of my girlfriend’s feelings, too, and I needed to be more open to communication.

Essentially, I needed to figure out what I wanted, but I needed to do it in a way that would benefit both me and my girlfriend.

4) I needed to start taking care of myself and respecting myself.

jumpstory download20220818 165117 My girlfriend says she needs time so I broke up with her

After that, i started taking better care of myself and I stopped blaming my girlfriend for everything.

I started being more open to communication, and I realized that she didn’t want space because she wanted me to be unhappy.

I was able to give her the time she needed without feeling bad or worried about it.

Where am I now?

This whole experience taught me to be more careful when entering into a relationship.

It taught me that I need to be more careful about who I decide to date and that I need to be more careful about how I end a relationship.

But not just that, it also taught me that I need to be more careful about how I communicate with my partner and that I need to be more careful about how I communicate with the people around me.

Most importantly, however, it taught me that I need to love myself in order to have healthy relationships.

After I got that figured out, I tried to get my girlfriend back.

We are still in the process of working things out, but I hope that if you are in the same situation, you will learn from my mistake and love yourself first, before breaking up with your partner!

Picture of Anna Scheucher

Anna Scheucher

Freelance writer specializing in holistic health, wellness, and psychology. Check out my blog to find out more.

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