“Money can’t buy me love,” sang The Beatles.
True.
But it can buy you amazing experiences, in exciting places, with fascinating people.
It can buy you time, to do more of what you want to do.
It can buy you freedom from worry and stress, physical pain or overwhelm.
It can buy you the capacity to give to others, and to make your loved ones’ dreams come true.
It can buy you the way into exploring a passion, or pursuing an area of study or line of work that makes your heart soar. It buys you the golf clubs, horse, dance lessons, textbooks, childcare, time or full-scale circus-grade trapezes you need.
Hmm, sounds like we need loads of money to enjoy the best things in life… doesn’t it?
No way. The good news is that you can enjoy all the best things in life, for free or nearly-free. You can have the feelings that money can’t buy. And you can have them right now.
That’s because there’s one constant factor in every experience you have. YOU. As Confucious said, “Wherever you go, there you are.”
You are the magical machine that can generate delicious feelings, all day long.
Of course, money helps things along, but it’s wonderful, incredible, awesome feelings that give life purpose, meaning, joy and depth.
Here’s a quick 101 on what those feelings are and how to open up to them. I’ve added some fantastic free (or inexpensive) ways to experience them in your life – right now!
1) Grounded, connected, safe
When we feel grounded, connected and safe, everything is better.
That’s all about biology – well, neurology and chemistry, to be precise. When we feel safe, our Sympathetic Nervous System (fight, flight or freeze mode) can de-activate.
Our Parasympathetic Nervous System comes online (our ‘rest and digest’ mode) and we relax again.
So, find a meditation or breathwork video on youtube, do some gardening, walk mindfully in nature, try yoga, Qigong or NSDR (Non-Sleep Deep Rest a.k.a. Yoga Nidra) and get a re-set.
Use these tools whenever you notice yourself stressing out, overthinking or feeling anxious too, for on-the-spot help. (Yes, you can practise mindfulness in the supermarket or do a breathing meditation while waiting at school pick up time – I promise you!)
Once your nervous system is operating smoothly (and this may mean addressing some trauma, too), you can enjoy all the free fabulous feelings in life even more.
You can be a rock and a steady support for others too, which really gets those good vibes going!
And then, you can grab a brush or pen or chisel, because…
2) Inspired, creative, in flow
It’s time to get creative!
Being in the creative flow is one of the best free feelings on the planet, so get your hands in the clay (or the pizza dough, or the papier mâché).
Being grounded and operating from our Parasympathetic Nervous System allows inspiration to strike, and creativity to flourish.
We can’t be in survival mode and creative mode at the same time – one turns off the other (see the Harvard Business Review for the science behind this).
You could even try something you aren’t good at or haven’t done before – and leave your critical brain at the door.
Learning to trust your process, act on your inspiration, be curious, find solutions and take creative risks are valuable life skills that make you feel great about yourself.
Creativity is empowering too – you’re experiencing yourself as a creator rather than as a consumer, for one thing.
For another, you’re connecting with some kind of intelligent flow that feels bigger than yourself. Even if you just end up with a wonky plant pot, you’ve tapped into the deep, profound and mysterious current of life.
All of which is going to make you feel…
3) Satisfied, fulfilled, proud (the good kind!)
When we’re grounded, calm and centred, and then we start living in the creative flow… all kinds of life magic begins to unfold.
Our self-esteem is boosted, and our self-trust. We start to experience the satisfaction of jobs well done, and of life well lived.
We align more and more with our true selves, which empowers us to try new things, build new dreams and begin new ventures.
And because they’re coming from the authentic core of us, they lead to things we actually want.
Not just ‘good money’ or ‘great perks’ or ‘a bigger car’. But being in places we love with people we love doing things we love.
Whether that’s opening our own bike repair shop, retraining as a human rights lawyer or writing that novel…
And then, when you’re all full up with the wonderful feelings of satisfaction and fulfilment, something else comes along.
You start feeling proud of yourself. The good kind of proud. You stayed true to you, and you went for something you cared about. You faced challenges, and now here you are living a dream that’s authentic to who you truly are, and that powerfully serves others too.
That’s a feeling money can’t buy.
4) Loving, joyful, happy
So once you’ve got all that going on, a miracle is going to occur.
Your heart will open and open, more and more. The amount of love you can hold and feel and share with others will grow – exponentially.
Joy and happiness just naturally come along for the ride on this wave, making you feel more loving, and more loving, and more loving.
Notice, I’m talking about feeling loving, not about feeling loved.
When you’re feeling loving, people will come flocking to be around that loving energy. Then you’ll feel so loved too, as a beautiful by-product.
So it’s that way round – feeling loving puts you at the centre of the true experience of love, right now.
5) Curious, keen, excited
You know that feeling – you have a new project, hobby or venture that you’re SO excited about. You work hard on it, but you don’t feel tired.
Instead, you’re just keen to leap out of bed in the mornings and work on it more.
I have this when I write sometimes. I wrote a screenplay a couple of years ago which… well, it basically wrote itself.
The characters were talking, the scenes were shaping themselves, plot revelations were springing up like wildflowers in a summer meadow…
…at three in the morning!
I absolutely loved being so into my project. I would walk in the woods, work out scenes and listen to music that made the vibrant characters really come alive. I was so excited about receiving piece after piece of their story.
What an incredible ride!
6) Challenged, stretched, tested
Of course, no project, plan, venture or relationship is without its challenges. That may be a technical puzzle that needs to be solved, or a difficult working relationship that requires skill to harmonise.
Getting to test our skills and abilities allows us to learn more about ourselves, break through our limiting beliefs and gain self-trust.
When life throws a spanner in the works, we get a chance to rise to the challenge, to learn, grow and perhaps be changed forever in some way.
And the feelings that come from that evolution are priceless.
7) Alert, alive, well
Underneath all of this, we can be alert, alive, well and really showing up. That’s going to give all these great free feelings an extra boost, like the ginger shot in your smoothie.
This isn’t about having the body of a Greek god or getting up at five am to practise yoga (although, you know…)
This is about being present and engaged with the people around you, and your surroundings. It’s about tuning into the fact that you are alive right now.
Here you are – just for a quick blink of the cosmic eye.
So be awake, engaged and aware of your pure aliveness – and watch some incredibly potent ecstatic feelings begin to flow!
If this leads you to feel hot, hot, hot too then all the better…
8) Sexy, juicy, wild
We’re here to be sexy and juicy and wild, in my opinion. Which doesn’t necessarily have to mean having a lot of sex (although, again, you know…)
Be in touch with your wild side. With the part of you that’s free and wants to dance under the full moon round a blazing fire or drive through the night in a Cadillac under the stars.
Sexy, juicy, wild feelings stoke your inner fire and bring so much juice into your life, in many, many ways.
Maybe start by having a little dance around your living room. Go on… I dare you!
Final thoughts
These amazing feelings all prove that the best things in life aren’t what money can buy.
And it all starts with you… stepping out of your comfort zone, opening up, reaching out…
You’ll soon be rich in these wonderful feelings, without spending a penny. And guess what? When you’ve got that going, you’ll find that you attract loads of abundance and money too. Which we love, of course – all the more to enjoy and more to share with others.
