When you find your real twin flame, you’ll experience a relationship like no other. Forget soul mates; this partner will take you further in life than you could have ever imagined.
As described by Alex Myles in the Elephant Journal, “When twin flames meet, their heart-center opens, and they feel compelled to love deeper and harder than they ever thought possible.”
But on your quest to find your true twin flame, you’ll probably encounter some false twins along the way.
In the beginning, you might think they’re your true flame partner, but over time their inconsistencies and lack of commitment and support will cause you to doubt them.
This can be a painful process. They have some of the qualities of a true twin flame but something isn’t right.
So what are the signs that you’re in a false twin flame relationship, and what can you do to find your true twin flame? Read on for 20 signs that they aren’t the ones for you.
Table of Contents
Signs of a false twin flame relationship
1) Past issues start to arise
With a true twin flame, you’ll begin to face problems that will affect your future, and you’ll work through these problems together in hopes of creating better lives from now on.
With a false twin flame, issues from the past start to arise. They’ll bring up traumas, anxieties, and hurt that you’ve previously experienced, rather than forcing you to work on current and future problems.
2) Their commitment is challenged when struggles arise
This is a great indicator that you’ve met a false twin flame. In a real twin flame relationship, your partner won’t give up when the going gets tough. A false twin flame will.
Whether it’s through arguments, stressful periods, or testing times, they’ll always find an excuse to end things, whereas a true twin will find reasons to stay and work through the challenges.
3) They don’t protect you
Does your ‘twin flame’ step up for you? Protect you (in little and big ways)? Help you whenever they can, without you even asking?
If they don’t, then this is a not-so-subtle sign that you’re in a FALSE twin flame relationship.
This brings me to a new theory in relationship psychology that’s generating a lot of buzz at the moment. And it goes to the heart of whether you’re in a real twin flame relationship or a false one.
It’s called the hero instinct.
Simply put, a guy wants to feel like he’s a protector, provider, and essential to the woman he cares about. And that she respects him for this.
In other words, he wants to feel like a hero. Not an action hero like Thor, but a hero to her.
James Bauer, the relationship psychologist who coined the term, has created an excellent video about it. Watch the video here.
The simple truth is that it’s impossible to be in a twin flame relationship unless this instinct is triggered in your man.
The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in his life. This is deeply rooted in male biology.
Although women may not need a hero, a man is compelled to be one. And if you want a lifetime of happiness with him, then you have to let him.
How do you trigger this instinct in him?
The trick is to make him feel like a hero in an authentic way. And there are things you can say, messages you can send, requests you can make that won’t make you come across as clingy or needy in any way.
James Bauer outlines what you can do in his free video. Here’s a link to his video again.
I don’t often recommend videos like this. But the hero instinct is one of the most fascinating concepts in relationship psychology I’ve come across.
I think it could be a game changer for those in twin flame relationships.
4) You focus on yourself more than on others
A false twin will make you look at yourself, your lifestyle, and your issues. They’ll help you make important changes within yourself.
A true twin flame will come at a time in your life when you’re ready to expand and help others. They’ll be a catalyst for your desire to help those around you and bring strength, happiness, and empowerment to not just yourself, but others as well.
5) You have uncertainty about the relationship
One of the best parts about finding your true twin flame is that you are filled with confidence and assurance about your relationship with them. Even when things get tough, you know that they will be by your side.
But, with a false flame, you’ll constantly feel uncertainty about the relationship, where it’s going, and whether your partner is the right one for you.
QUIZ: Is he really your twin flame? Remove the guesswork by taking this fun new quiz. Check out the twin flame quiz here.
6) Your partner brings you more anxiety than peace
A false twin will bring about many changes in you, yet you’ll feel anxious or uncomfortable throughout the relationship. This is a big contrast when compared to a relationship with your true flame.
A true flame partner will feel like coming home after a hard day at work. Their company and support will be like that of an old friend, and you’ll know that you can leave your worries and anxieties at the door when you’re with them.
7) They came when you were still finding your inner power
Your false twin will come while you’re still learning about yourself and finding your inner power. They might help you in this process, but that’s not the role of a true twin flame.
In a true twin flame relationship, your partner will come after you’ve gained this empowerment, and they’ll be a driving force in helping you expand and use this power.
8) You doubt your partner
As well as having uncertainty about the relationship, you might find yourself often doubting your partner. This is because deep down, something tells you that, while they might be monumental in your life as a soul mate, they aren’t your true twin flame.
They aren’t a mirror to your soul, and their lack of commitment when things get tough will make you increasingly unsure about whether your partner is your twin flame or not.
9) Your false twin flame partner will move on quickly
Quite often, when the relationship breaks down, you’ll find that a false twin flame will move on extremely quickly. In their new relationships, they’ll also claim to have a deep connection, as they did with you.
You’ll start to realize that this person forges false connections with numerous people, which means they were never your true twin to start with.
It’ll be painful to experience, but an eye-opening situation which will confirm your doubts about your partner.
10) They’ll keep you in a state of wonder
The lack of reassurance from your false twin flame means that you’ll know for sure what’s going to happen in the relationship.
You’ll want to progress with your partner, but they’ll always keep you hanging, like the old wives’ tale of the donkey being led by the carrot on the stick.
This can lead to a lot of unhappiness and uncertainty, as you’ll want to believe them but their actions won’t match their words. This lack of consistency will be a surefire way to know that they aren’t your true twin flame.
11) A false twin fears your success
A true twin will embrace and celebrate your success. They’ll encourage you, support you and be happy for you when you succeed. A true twin will be inspired and gain motivation from your success.
A false flame will be the opposite. They’ll fear your rise in success and will act as if it’s affecting the relationship. They’ll find reasons to discourage you, and will often make you feel bad for your good fortune.
12) You have different visions of the future
One of the best parts of finding your true twin is that your visions of your relationship and lifestyle will be very similar. When it comes to talking about the future, you will both have a similar outlook and goals which will complement and strengthen each other.
A false twin will never fully be on the same page as you. Their goals for the future don’t quite match up to yours, and compromises on your visions don’t come easily.
13) Your false twin forces you to awaken alone rather than together
A false twin will force you to awaken yourself, make changes, and experience growth, but it’ll be done alone and often at the expense of your happiness.
A true twin will be by your side and will embrace the changes and challenges together, you’ll never feel like you’re alone on your journey with them.
14) They try to avoid commitment
Your false twin will find a number of reasons to avoid fully committing to you and the relationship.
From ‘the timing isn’t right’ to ‘they need more freedom’, you’ll often hear these types of excuses.
A true twin flame won’t be afraid to commit to you. They’ll see that the relationship is unique and that it’s worth fully investing their time and emotions into.
15) They’ll make you self-destruct
The constant uncertainty and lack of commitment mean that you’ll end up becoming incredibly frustrated and hurt. They won’t make you a priority in their life, and you’ll start to feel unappreciated and undervalued.
You’ll be disappointed that this person who you love isn’t living up to the expectations that you hold for them and that whilst they force you to change and find your inner power, you often feel lonely and unhappy throughout the process.
16) You can’t be fully yourself around them
A true twin will love you and accept you as you are. There’ll be no need to pretend or act a different way to impress them.
A false flame will often find faults in your personality, and won’t ever be 100% satisfied with who you are. This will lead to a lot of internal conflicts, as you battle between being true to yourself and pleasing them.
QUIZ: Is he really your twin flame? Remove the guesswork by taking this fun new quiz. Check out the twin flame quiz here.
17) They distance themselves from you
Do you ever feel like you’re chasing your partner? That they always keep you at arm’s length? This is typical behavior from a false twin.
They’ll let you in just enough to keep you interested and emotionally involved, but never enough to make you feel secure in the relationship.
18) They give you false hope
As well as distancing themselves from you, they’ll also string you along and keep you there for their disposal by feeding you false hope.
This will essentially keep your relationship in limbo. It never moves forward, but whenever you bring up this subject they’ll have plenty of excuses and promises to keep you around for a little bit longer.
19) There’s a lack of purpose to your relationship
A true twin flame relationship will have clear progress, goals, and dreams for the future and you’ll be sure of the direction of the relationship.
A false twin will leave you doubting the relationship and wondering where it’s headed. You’ll question why you’re even with that person, and whether the relationship even has a future.
What to do if you’ve met your false twin flame
If you believe that you are in a false twin flame relationship, then not everything is lost.
By digging a little deeper into the problems in the relationship, you may still be able to enjoy a deep, passionate experience.
On the other hand, you may be ready to get out of a relationship with your false twin flame.
Even though this can be a confusing time, understand that if someone is meant to be with you, they are going to find a way to make it work.
If your twin flame is interested in being in a relationship with you, then he or she should find a way to do so. If you are in a relationship with a false twin flame, the relationship may not be in the cards.
Forcing yourself to stay in a relationship that is not meant to be can be unhealthy. What can you do to get out of this relationship?
How to get rid of a false twin flame
Eventually, enough is enough. It is time for you to end the relationship with your false twin flame.
The first thing you have to do is treat this like taking off a Band-Aid. You do not want to delay the experience. If you decide to stick around with that person, it is only going to lead to more pain.
Nobody looks forward to ending a relationship, even if it is with someone such as your false twin flame.
So, how do you break up with a false twin flame? Some of the tips to keep in mind include:
- Break up with a person in your own mind first. If you keep focusing on the happy moments, you are going to have a harder time breaking up with them. Focus on the signs that pointed to a false twin flame. Remember how you felt. This will help you stay strong.
- Be respectful during the break-up; however, you also need to be strict. Establish boundaries. Be clear. Make sure the other person knows the relationship is over.
- Pick the right location. By this point, you should know your false twin flame pretty well. You should have a decent idea of how they are going to handle it. It is a good idea to break up in person to see their reaction. Do you want to do this in private? Do you want to do this in a coffee shop? Of course, you need to think about your safety. If you have any concerns about this, pick a public place.
- Before the breakup, make sure you work out the logistics. If you are living with your false twin flame, you have to know who is going to move out. If you are moving out, where are you going to go?
- If you believe you need support during this transition, you may want to let your friends know what is happening. That way, they can be there for you after the experience.
- You need to brace yourself for a few feelings. No matter how you think you are going to feel, your feelings are probably going to change when you see the reaction of your partner. Be prepared to get emotional.
- Do not be afraid to show emotion yourself. You have been in a relationship with someone who you thought was your true twin flame. It is only natural to have some sadness and tears on your end as well. Something you thought was special is now ending.
Ultimately, you need to stick to your guns. Do not back down. It is not unusual to get cold feet before it actually happens. Remember the signs that you are with your false twin flame. Stay firm and go through with it.
How to handle the reaction of a false twin flame
During the breakup, your false twin flame is going to experience a lot of emotions as well. Whether or not they saw it coming, you should be prepared for a few reactions. Some of the most common reactions include:
- They Beg You To Change Your Mind: Your false twin flame should not have to beg you to keep them around. They may be shocked, surprised, and blindsided. Remember that there is a reason why you are breaking up with them. If they haven’t convinced you to stay so far, they aren’t going to convince you now. Stick to your gut.
- They Could Get Angry: You can only control your emotional responses. You cannot control their emotional responses. Commit to remaining calm. If you are feeling hurt, angry, or want to lash out, stay calm. Reaffirm the breakup.
- They Might Appear Sad: Sadness is normal following a breakup. You may feel sad as well. If you notice your false twin flame is feeling sad, be empathetic. But, you also have to reaffirm the breakup. Do not send mixed signals.
- They May Promise To Change: This is a common reaction when you break up with your false twin flame. He or she may promise to change. They may promise to go to therapy. They could promise to do everything you want. Nobody should make promises they can’t keep. There is a chance you have heard this before. Go through with the breakup.
Think about some of these reactions ahead of time. You may want to have statements prepared if you see them.
What should you do after your breakup with a false twin flame?
After you have broken up with a false twin flame, you should reach out to loved ones for support. This includes friends and family members.
There is a chance you will feel lonely and isolated. You can address this with a few simple phone calls.
You may want to find some friends or family members to hang out with as well. Whether you go to a movie, grab a bite to eat, or simply hang out and talk, it is good to have some emotional support.
Remember that you need to take care of your physical health as well.
Even if you need some time to cry it out, you need to cope in a healthy way. Try not to stalk your false twin flame on social media, as this is not healthy.
Speaking of social media, you may want to think about this as well.
How public do you want to break up to be? Do you want to block your false twin flame on social media? Do you want to remove all pictures? You should think about this ahead of time.
Finally, understand that second thoughts are natural.
It may take a few days for this to truly sink in. When you are having doubts, remember the signs that told you you were in a relationship with your false twin flame. Stick to them.
Finding your real twin flame partner
So by now, you’re probably wondering how to actually find your true twin flame, rather than waste your emotions and time on false partners.
Luckily, the process is quite simple; focus on yourself. To make it even easier, there are four simple steps that can be taken to opening yourself up to finding your true twin flame.
Trust your gut feelings.
You and your true twin flame will be drawn to each other, but you may have to follow your intuition and heart when it comes to freely embracing your twin flame. Resist the urges to hold back, and you’ll be surprised at what might happen.
Find yourself before you find them.
To really connect with your true twin flame, you must first have connected with yourself. You need to dig deep, understand, and accept who you are. Without this, meeting your true twin will come at a great expense; you won’t be ready and your lack of self-awareness will cause damage to the relationship.
Look after yourself to increase your vibrations.
You and your twin flame will bounce off each other’s vibrations, so it’s important that you look after yourself whilst you wait to find them. Eat and drink healthily, exercise, and sleep well. All of these changes to your lifestyle will increase the frequency of your vibrations.
Go with the flow.
Meeting your true twin flame will be an experience that you’ve never had before. It’ll be emotional, confusing, passionate, and more. Instead of resisting this, let the relationship flow and happen naturally. You have to trust the journey and let your soul’s connection guide you.
How to speed up the reunion
When you are ready to get out there again, you need to know how you can find your true twin flame. Of course, finding your true twin flame is not easy. Given your last experience, you may be a bit hesitant to get out there again.
Before you physically start dating again, it is important to look inward. Embrace being single and work on yourself. Some of the tips to keep in mind include:
- If you want your true twin flame to find you, make sure that you do not hide who you truly are. If you are afraid of being judged, you need to put this to the side. Remember that your true twin flame is going to love you for who you are. If you do not let people see the real you, you will not attract your true twin flame.
- Therefore, you need to be more vulnerable. You may feel some anxiety, but this is normal. Be upfront. Be honest. You will face rejection from time to time. Be willing to face it.
- You also need to let go of your attachment to specific results. If you are attached to specific results, you are going to appear needy. The healthiest relationship still has a bit of distance between them.
Once you have dealt with these issues, you will be ready to find your true twin flame.
In order to do this, you are probably going to go on a lot of dates. Be active about your intentions. Tell people you are looking for someone.
Socialize with as many people as possible. In this process, you are going to make new friends. New friends are always exciting. Eventually, a new friend may turn into something more.
If you have this mindset when you are meeting new people, you will open yourself up to finding your true twin flame. Then, when you feel that energy and spot the signs you may have found your true twin flame, be ready to act accordingly.
If you are ready to find your true twin flame, your true twin flame will find you. This is how you will unlock the door to a long-lasting, healthy, loving relationship. This is how you will find the one.