20 signs you’ve met your FALSE twin flame (and what to do about it)

When you find your real twin flame, you’ll experience a relationship like no other. Forget soul mates; this partner will take you further in life than you could have ever imagined.

As described by Alex Myles in the Elephant Journal, ‘When twin flames meet, their heart-center opens, and they feel compelled to love deeper and harder than they ever thought possible.’

But on your quest to find your true twin flame, you’ll probably encounter some false twins along the way. In the beginning, you might think they’re your true flame partner, but over time their inconsistencies and lack of commitment and support will cause you to doubt them.

This can be a painful process. They have some of the qualities of a true twin flame, but something isn’t right.

So what are the signs that you’re in a false twin flame relationship, and what can you do to find your true twin flame? Read on for 20 signs that they aren’t the ones for you.

Signs of a false twin flame relationship

1) Past issues start to arise

With a true twin flame, you’ll begin to face problems that will affect your future, and you’ll work through these problems together in hopes of creating better lives from now on.

With a false twin flame, issues from the past start to arise. They’ll bring up traumas, anxieties, and hurt that you’ve previously experienced, rather than forcing you to work on current and future problems.

2) Their commitment is challenged when struggles arise

This is a great indicator that you’ve met a false twin flame. In a real twin flame relationship, your partner won’t give up when the going gets tough. A false twin flame will.

Whether it’s through arguments, stressful periods, or testing times, they’ll always find an excuse to end things, whereas a true twin will find reasons to stay and work through the challenges.

3) They don’t protect you

Does your ‘twin flame’ step up for you? Protect you (in little and big ways)? Help you whenever they can, without you even asking?

If they don’t, then this is a not-so-subtle sign that you’re in a FALSE twin flame relationship.

This brings me to a new theory in relationship psychology that’s generating a lot of buzz at the moment. And it goes to the heart of whether you’re in a real twin flame relationship or a false one.

It’s called the hero instinct.

Simply put, a guy wants to feel like he’s a protector, provider, and essential to the woman he cares about. And that she respects him for this.

In other words, he wants to feel like a hero. Not an action hero like Thor, but a hero to her.

James Bauer, the relationship psychologist who coined the term, has created an excellent video about it. Watch the video here.

The simple truth is that it’s impossible to be in a twin flame relationship unless this instinct is triggered in your man.


The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in his life. This is deeply rooted in male biology.

Although women may not need a hero, a man is compelled to be one. And if you want if you want a lifetime of happiness with him, then you have to let him.

How do you trigger this instinct in him?

The trick is to make him feel like a hero in an authentic way. And there are things you can say, messages you can send, requests you can make that won’t make you come across as clingy or needy in any way.

James Bauer outlines what you can do in his free video. Here’s a link to his video again.

I don’t often recommend videos like this. But the hero instinct is one of the most fascinating concepts in relationship psychology I’ve come across.

I think it could be a game changer for those in twin flame relationships.

4) You focus on yourself more than on others

A false twin will make you look at yourself, your lifestyle, and your issues. They’ll help you make important changes within yourself.

A true twin flame will come at a time in your life when you’re ready to expand and help others. They’ll be a catalyst for your desire to help those around you and bring strength, happiness, and empowerment to not just yourself, but others as well.

5) You have uncertainty about the relationship

One of the best parts about finding your true twin flame is that you are filled with confidence and assurance about your relationship with them. Even when things get tough, you know that they will be by your side.

But, with a false flame, you’ll constantly feel uncertainty about the relationship, where it’s going, and whether your partner is the right one for you.

6) Your partner brings you more anxiety than peace

A false twin will bring about many changes in you, yet you’ll feel anxious or uncomfortable throughout the relationship. This is a big contrast when compared to a relationship with your true flame.

A true flame partner will feel like coming home after a hard day at work. Their company and support will be like that of an old friend, and you’ll know that you can leave your worries and anxieties at the door when you’re with them.

7) They came when you were still finding your inner power

Your false twin will come while you’re still learning about yourself and finding your inner power. They might help you in this process, but that’s not the role of a true twin flame.

In a true twin flame relationship, your partner will come after you’ve gained this empowerment, and they’ll be a driving force in helping you expand and use this power.

8) Your biorhythms say no

A friend of mine was recently going through a relationship crisis.

And she passed me along a free video that she says changed everything for her. The video talks about biorhythms and how we can use them to predict when and where important life events will occur, like meeting your twin flame.

Watch the epic video here.

Don’t know what biorhythms are?

Well it’s a concept that’s generating a lot of buzz among scientists, shamans, and mystics.

Biorhythms can be used to predict important parts of a person’s life through mathematical cycles. Although it originated in the 19th century, it didn’t become popular until fairly recently.

The basic idea is that our daily lives are affected by rhythmic cycles, with peaks and storms. And by understanding our own cycle we can predict important events in love and life more generally.

If you’re still confused, think numerology or astrology but with a little more science behind it.

Now, I’m a natural skeptic when it comes to a lot of this stuff. But the fact is cycles are everywhere, from day and night to the human body running on circadian and ultradian rhythms.

Anything which helps you to look into the future and make informed decisions about your relationships is well worth checking out.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

9) You doubt your partner

As well as having uncertainty about the relationship, you might find yourself often doubting your partner. This is because deep down, something tells you that, while they might be monumental in your life as a soul mate, they aren’t your true twin flame.

They aren’t a mirror to your soul, and their lack of commitment when things get tough will make you increasingly unsure about whether your partner is your twin flame or not.

10) Your false twin flame partner will move on quickly

Quite often, when the relationship breaks down, you’ll find that a false twin flame will move on extremely quickly. In their new relationships, they’ll also claim to have a deep connection, as they did with you.

You’ll start to realize that this person forges false connections with numerous people, which means they were never your true twin to start with. It’ll be painful to experience, but an eye-opening situation which will confirm your doubts about your partner.

11) They’ll keep you in a state of wonder

The lack of reassurance from your false twin flame means that you’ll know for sure what’s going to happen in the relationship.

You’ll want to progress with your partner, but they’ll always keep you hanging, like the old wives tale of the donkey being led by the carrot on the stick.

This can lead to a lot of unhappiness and uncertainty, as you’ll want to believe them but their actions won’t match their words. This lack of consistency will be a surefire way to know that they aren’t your true twin flame.

12) A false twin fears your success

A true twin will embrace and celebrate your success. They’ll encourage you, support you and be happy for you when you succeed. A true twin will be inspired and gain motivation from your success.

A false flame will be the opposite. They’ll fear your rise in success and will act as if it’s affecting the relationship. They’ll find reasons to discourage you, and will often make you feel bad for your good fortune.

13) You have different visions of the future

One of the best parts of finding your true twin is that your visions of your relationship and lifestyle will be very similar. When it comes to talk of the future, you will both have a similar outlook and goals which will complement and strengthen each other.

A false twin will never fully be on the same page as you. Their goals for the future don’t quite match up to yours, and compromises on your visions don’t come easily.

14) Your false twin forces you to awaken alone rather than together

A false twin will force you to awaken yourself, make changes, and experience growth, but it’ll be done alone and often at the expense of your happiness.

A true twin will be by your side and will embrace the changes and challenges together, you’ll never feel like you’re alone on your journey with them.

15) They try to avoid commitment

Your false twin will find a number of reasons to avoid fully committing to you and the relationship.

From ‘the timing isn’t right’ to ‘they need more freedom’, you’ll often hear these types of excuses.

A true twin flame won’t be afraid to commit to you. They’ll see that the relationship is unique and that it’s worth fully investing their time and emotions into.

16) They’ll make you self-destruct

The constant uncertainty and lack of commitment mean that you’ll end up becoming incredibly frustrated and hurt. They won’t make you a priority in their life, and you’ll start to feel unappreciated and undervalued.

You’ll be disappointed that this person who you love isn’t living up to the expectations that you hold for them and that whilst they force you to change and find your inner power, you often feel lonely and unhappy throughout the process.

17) You can’t be fully yourself around them

A true twin will love you and accept you as you are. There’ll be no need to pretend or act a different way to impress them.

A false flame will often find faults in your personality, and won’t ever be 100% satisfied with who you are. This will lead to a lot of internal conflicts, as you battle between being true to yourself and pleasing them.

18) They distance themselves from you

Do you ever feel like you’re chasing your partner? That they always keep you at arm’s length? This is typical behavior from a false twin.

They’ll let you in just enough to keep you interested and emotionally involved, but never enough to make you feel secure in the relationship.

19) They give you false hope

As well as distancing themselves from you, they’ll also string you along and keep you there for their disposal by feeding you false hope.

This will essentially keep your relationship in limbo. It never moves forward, but whenever you bring up this subject they’ll have plenty of excuses and promises to keep you around for a little bit longer.

20) There’s a lack of purpose to your relationship

A true twin flame relationship will have clear progress, goals, and dreams for the future and you’ll be sure of the direction of the relationship.

A false twin will leave you doubting the relationship and wondering where it’s headed. You’ll question why you’re even with that person, and whether the relationship even has a future.

Finding your real twin flame partner

So by now, you’re probably wondering how to actually find your true twin flame, rather than waste your emotions and time on false partners.

Luckily, the process is quite simple; focus on yourself. To make it even easier, there are four simple steps that can be taken to opening yourself up to finding your true twin flame.

Trust your gut feelings.

You and your true twin flame will be drawn to each other, but you may have to follow your intuition and heart when it comes to freely embracing your twin flame. Resist the urges to hold back, and you’ll be surprised at what might happen.

Find yourself before you find them.

To really connect with your true twin flame, you must first have connected with yourself. You need to dig deep, understand, and accept who you are. Without this, meeting your true twin will come at a great expense; you won’t be ready and your lack of self-awareness will cause damage to the relationship.

Look after yourself to increase your vibrations.

You and your twin flame will bounce off each other’s vibrations, so it’s important that you look after yourself whilst you wait to find them. Eat and drink healthily, exercise, and sleep well. All of these changes to your lifestyle will increase the frequency of your vibrations.

Go with the flow.

Meeting your true twin flame will be an experience that you’ve never had before. It’ll be emotional, confusing, passionate, and more. Instead of resisting this, let the relationship flow and happen naturally. You have to trust the journey and let your soul’s connection guide you.

Final thoughts

Realizing that your partner is a false twin flame can be difficult and hard to accept, but ultimately your soul and heart will tell you that they aren’t the right one.

By staying in a false twin flame relationship, you are making it much harder to find your true twin flame. The relationship will wear you down, cause you pain, and in the end, you’ll have to work harder on building yourself back up.

If you’ve got a journey of self-healing ahead after experiencing a false twin flame relationship, this free masterclass on ‘Personal Power’ by world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê will help you in empowering yourself, so that you’ll be ready to meet your true twin flame when they finally come along.

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Kiran Athar

Kiran Athar

Kiran is a foodie, writer and traveler. She considers herself a citizen of the world, who gets her inspiration from the people she meets along her journeys. She's currently living in Spain, where she spends her time writing, watching the shepherds and eating tapas in the mountains of Andalucía.


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