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We Only Fall in Love with 3 People in Our Lifetime—Each One for a Specific Reason.

It’s true. Philosophers and mystics have raved on for centuries about why we need 3 different lovers. Each one serves a different purpose and there’s no guarantee that all of us will make it to number three.

But I bet you’re wondering:

What the hell are these three different types of loves?

Well, the first one all begins when we’re young. It’s called the “idealistic love”. It’s kind of like a fairy tale. We believe we’re doing it for our family and society.

You know, you find the one that is ‘just right’. Everyone will be jealous of you at parties because you’re the ‘perfect couple’.

The major problem with this type of love?

It relies purely on how other people see you, rather than how you actually feel.

The second type of love is when shit gets real. It’s called the “hard love”. This is where we delve deep into our sexuality, our desires and begin answering the question: Who am I?

At times you’ll think that you’re both fated to be together forever. At other times, you’ll want to bite each other’s heads off.

It’s passionate, it’s wrong and it’s heart-wrenching. You might break-up, get back together, then break up etc. Each time realizing that it just isn’t meant to be.

The good news? You’ve learned a TON about who you are and what you really want in life.


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The third type of love comes out of nowhere. When you meet this person, you’d never consider that you’d end up with them.

Perhaps you’re not looking for a relationship, or you think that your personalities would clash, but when the connection ignites, it will take off like a lightning strike that neither one of you are prepared for.

When you start dating, it just fits. Your personalities bounce off each other like a trampoline. You compliment each other’s strengths and weakness and you both feel like you take on the world.

It just feels right. And so it should. You’ve been through struggles, bad breakups, and people who have just plain tried to take advantage of you.

But now, you know yourself better than ever, and most importantly, you know deep in your soul that you want to spend the rest of your life with this truly special person.

All of these loves have their reasons, and the lessons you learn through each phase will only help you grow.

The people I really feel sorry for are those who never make it to number three.


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Written by Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the editor of Ideapod and founder of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 6 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you to want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.

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