26 warning signs of “fake nice people”

I don’t know about you, but there are some people that just make me feel uneasy. They seem nice and friendly, but I feel like it’s just a mask and I wish I knew what was behind it.

The truth is that people are not always who they appear to be, and there are often hidden motives behind what they say and do.

Understanding the intentions of other people can be tricky. It takes time to learn about someone and see through their facades.

However, with a bit of caution, you can protect yourself from being exploited or betrayed by people who pretend to have your best interests at heart.

Here are 26 warning signs of “fake nice people”:

1) They constantly seek approval

When someone is extremely nice to you, they may be trying to win your approval.

This can happen when someone feels insecure and inadequate. They may seek your approval as a way to boost their own self-esteem.

People who constantly seek approval are often insecure about themselves. They may not be as nice as they appear – and may just be using you to feel better about themselves.

If you think about it, you must have met such people over the years. They like to suck up to you and cling to you like glue. You feel bad for them and you know that something is off but you just can’t shake them off.

They don’t really have any friends and they are desperately trying to get someone to like them, even if it means pretending to be someone they’re not.

Well, those are fake nice people.

2) They have an exaggerated sense of concern for your well-being

Here’s the thing:

When someone has a false sense of concern for your well-being, they could be trying to trick you into trusting them so they can gain access to your money or other resources.

In fact, back in college, I had a friend who always seemed worried about me and kept telling me that my other friends weren’t looking out for me and weren’t my true friends.

It turned out that she was the one that wasn’t my true friend and once she gained my trust, I lent her a big part of my savings for her baby brother’s operation… As you might have already guessed, there was no baby brother and I never saw that money again.

You need to be careful of nice people who seem overly concerned about your financial situation, your health, your relationships, or anything else that could put you in a vulnerable position.

This is a big red flag.

3) Their niceness only exists when they want something

Some people are extremely nice only when they want something from you.

They may be trying to get you to do something for them but will turn cold and distant the moment you don’t comply with their requests.

These kinds of people are not really nice at all – they are just trying to get something from you.

If someone is extremely nice to you but their niceness disappears the moment they don’t get what they want, they are not being genuine.

4) They criticize you behind your back

When someone is extremely nice to you, but behind your back, they criticize everything about you, this is a big sign that they are not being genuine.

If someone makes you feel like they’re your friend and they like you, and then you hear that they’ve been talking trash behind your back, you’re dealing with a fake nice person.

So how do you know they talk about you behind your back?

One clue is if they talk about their other friends to you. I always feel uncomfortable when someone bad mouths their so-called friends to me, I feel like saying “Hey, I don’t want to hear that” but instead I have to act sympathetic.

So if they’re talking about their other friends to you, chances are they’re talking about you to them.

Another way to know is because a mutual friend will tell you that they’re criticizing you behind your back.

I wish some people would just come out and tell me when they have a problem with me instead of acting all fake and nice.

5) They constantly offer to do things for you but never follow through

People who constantly offer to do things for you but never follow through may be fakers.

These people will promise to help you out, introduce you to people, lend you money, and take you places. But in my experience, it’s just talking. In fact, you’ll probably end up doing all that stuff for them.

The thing is that they’re just being overly nice so that you will like them. What’s more, they’re hoping that you won’t call them out on their empty promises.

If someone says they want to do something for you, but then never follows through, it’s because they’re faking niceness. It’s all one big act.

6) They constantly try to flatter you

People who constantly try to flatter you may be fake nice people.

If someone constantly praises everything about you but has no reason to do so, they may be trying to fake niceness.

For example, you make a quick and simple meal and they act like they’ve gone to a 3-star Michelin restaurant. Or, you’ve just started art class and they say you’re a great artist and should have your own show at a gallery ASAP.

All in all, if someone’s flattery seems over the top and out of place – it’s because it is.

7) They tell transparent lies

Another warning sign of fake nice people is that they will tell transparent lies.

For example, they might tell you that you look great but you haven’t slept in two days and know that you look terrible.

Or, they tell you that they were out of town and couldn’t come to support you at an event you were organizing, but they were seen at a local restaurant having lunch with friends.

Instead of being honest and telling you they have other plans and they can’t attend your event, fake nice people will make up lies.

8) Be wary of the overly nice person who offers you nothing

If a person is being overly nice to you but never offers you anything without expecting anything in return, it’s a huge red flag.

You see, a genuine, kind person will do things for others without expecting anything in return.

An overly nice person, however, only does nice things for other people when it will benefit them in some way. They’re not genuine in their niceness. They’re being manipulative and will use their fake kindness to get what they want.

9) They have a dark side

While many people are generally kind and nice, there are some who put on a nice front but actually have a dark side.

They may be pleasant and nice on the outside, but on the inside, they’re angry and unkind.

If your new “friend” has a dark side, you may notice that they’ll often be dishonest and will go to drastic lengths to get what they want. This can include being manipulative and unkind towards others.

10) They are overly complimentary

On the one hand, a genuine, kind person will see your good qualities, but they will also be able to see your flaws.

On the other hand, a fake-nice person will only see your good qualities.

If someone is being overly complimentary of everything about you, it’s a big red flag. They’re not being genuine.

They’re simply trying to butter you up and get what they want from you.

The thing is that people who are full of praise may be trying to win your favor or get you to do something for them.

In short: If you get complimented for doing something that definitely deserves no praise, then you might be dealing with a fake nice person.

11) They are overly apologetic people

People who are genuinely kind have no reason to apologize every two seconds. When they are in the wrong they’ll admit they’re at fault and say sorry and that will be that.

A fake-nice person, however, is always apologizing for things that don’t even warrant an apology.

They’re always saying sorry when there is no need to apologize. If someone is constantly apologizing, they’re either extremely sensitive or they’re faking niceness.

A few years ago I had a colleague at work who couldn’t stop saying sorry for no reason. He said sorry so often that you could probably make a drinking game where you took a shot of tequila every time he apologized.

At first, I felt sorry for him but then it started to get really weird. It’s as if he wasn’t sure how to act like a human or how to get other people to like him so he thought he’d get some sympathy by being overly apologetic. For whatever reason, he was definitely a fake nice person.

12) They constantly ask for favors

While a genuinely kind person will do things for others without expecting anything in return, an overly nice person keeps asking for things from other people all the time without ever returning the favor.

If someone is constantly asking for favors from you without ever offering to help you with something, you should be suspicious of their motives. They’re fake nice people who like to take advantage of people.

13) They show a dramatic shift in behavior when they don’t get what they want from you

If a person is faking niceness, they’ll be overly nice to you until they get what they want.

Then, when they don’t get what they want, they’ll turn on a dime and show their true colors.

A genuinely nice person will remain kind to you no matter what. A fake-nice person will show their true colors when they don’t get what they want.

When it first happens it can be quite a shock. The person you thought was all sweetness suddenly turns from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde.

14) They use manipulation to get what they want

All people use manipulation to some degree, but a fake-nice person is almost always using some kind of manipulation to get what they want

The sad truth is that if someone is being overly kind to you, they may be faking it. Don’t let yourself be manipulated by a fake nice person.

But how do you know you’re being manipulated? Well, you’ll feel obliged or even guilted into doing something that you are either against doing, not interested in doing, or either scared of doing.

What’s more, if someone is trying to manipulate you and make you feel bad about yourself, they may do this by making you feel insecure.

Fake nice people like to prey on the insecurities of others because they know that person will feel bad and will try to please them to make themselves feel better.

If your new “friend” frequently points out your flaws and insecurities and suggests ways to “fix” them, it may be a sign that they’re trying to manipulate you.

15) They get upset when you don’t side with them

The thing about fake nice people is that they tend to get upset when you don’t side with them on an issue or offer a particular opinion.

While it’s normal for people to want to get agreement from others, if your new “friend” seems angry when you don’t agree with them, it may be because they want you to go along with whatever they want because it benefits them.

It’s kind of like they have multiple personality disorder and something will definitely feel off.

16) They want to benefit from your generosity

A person who is faking niceness will only be nice to you if they think they can get something in return.

Trust me, they aren’t genuinely kind. They’re not really your friend. They don’t like you. You just have something they want.

Maybe your friendship will bring them social status or maybe you can help them get a job.

If you keep giving and they never give back, then they’re faking niceness to benefit from your generosity.

Now, if you’re not sure, you can say no the next time they ask for something and see how they react.

17) They keep making promises they don’t keep

If someone is nice to you, but they make a lot of promises they don’t follow through on, it could be a sign that they’re being insincere.

This can include things like promising to come over and help you with something and not showing up, offering to lend you something, and then not doing so, or promising to help you with something and not following through.

If you ask me, it’s better to keep quiet and not make promises you can’t keep than being fake nice.

18) You can never tell when they’re being genuine

The thing with fake nice people is that you never know how they really feel or what they’re really thinking because they always have a big smile and are being nice. Inside, they could be angry or sad, and you wouldn’t know.

When someone is genuinely nice, they’ll always be sincere. They’ll also always be consistent with their niceness, and you should always be able to tell when they’re being genuine.

If your “friend” is always vague about things and if you can never tell when they’re being genuine and how they really feel, it’s because they’re faking it. They’re putting on a mask for show.

Personally, I like to avoid such people. I’d rather someone be open with me and tell me how they really feel, even if it’s not nice than pretending that everything is ok when it’s obviously not.

19) They like to gossip

If someone you think is nice likes to gossip about other people, you might want to think twice about how nice they really are.

While it’s normal for people to gossip a bit from time to time, someone who likes to gossip all the time may not be as nice as you think.

Gossiping is a way for them to bring others down and make themselves feel better.

Who knows, they could be gossiping about you to others when you’re not around.

20) They’d rather be liked than tell the truth

The truth is that fake nice people would rather be liked than tell the truth.

They pretend to be someone they are not to be liked by others. They’ll say and do pretty much anything to get approval – even if it goes against their feelings or principles.

Being nice is one thing, but being fake and insincere is another. People who are faking niceness always have an ulterior motive.

Think about it: does the person you suspect of being fake nice say they like everything you like? What are the odds of that happening?

21) They are not your friend

I’m sorry to be the one to say it but fake nice people are not your friends.

If someone is constantly trying to take advantage of you, gossiping about you behind your back, making promises they don’t keep, and being vague about everything, it’s safe to say that they are not your friend.

People who are nice for the wrong reasons will often make promises they don’t keep, talk badly about others, and use their niceness as a way to manipulate you. This is not how real friends behave.

The bottom line is that fake nice people are not your true friends.

22) They’re often secretive

People who are genuinely nice won’t be secretive.

Someone who is secretive is hiding something – and it’s not always pretty.

People who are faking niceness will often be secretive because they don’t want you to know their real intentions. They may also not want you to know the truth about certain things.

The way to spot a fake nice person is if coupled with another warning sign from this article, you also notice that they’re not open and you always feel like they have something to hide.

23) They like to boast

Genuinely nice people don’t like to boast.

They don’t go around telling people about their accomplishments. They don’t boast about how rich they are. They don’t show off their expensive things.

This is something that fake nice people do.

They’ll be all smiles and niceness and then the boasting will start and it will seem out of place.

They’ll also often try to make you feel bad about yourself in a roundabout way – keeping the facade and pretending to be nice.

Fake-nice people are not hard to spot. You just need to know what to look for.

24) They smile a lot

Fake nice people often smile a lot, especially at you. They might seem like the nicest person you’ve ever met, but if they’re smiling at you all the time, it can be annoying.

If someone is smiling at you for no reason, it’s a red flag that they either like you and want to make you feel special, or they’re faking it because they’re up to no good.

So, if someone is smiling at you all the time, ask yourself why.

Fake nice people often smile at people they don’t actually like.

• They may smile at you because they are trying to butter you up or get on your good side.
• They might smile at you because they’re trying to make you feel happy or because they’re trying to cover up whatever they’re really thinking or feeling.
• They might smile at you because they feel bad for you or because they feel like they have to.
• Fake nice people might smile at you because they want something from you.
• They might smile at you because they’re trying to distract you or make you feel like you don’t have a choice.

In short: Be aware of why people are smiling at you. If a person is smiling at you all the time, ask yourself what’s going on

25) Some fake nice people are sociopaths

Sociopaths are people who have no remorse or empathy for others.

They are master manipulators who can make you believe they’re the best person in the world.

They can make you feel like the luckiest person in the world, but they don’t really feel that way at all.

They’re great at faking feelings and pretending to be your best friend.

They may pretend to be extremely nice, but they don’t really mean it. Some fake nice people are sociopaths who want something from you.

They want money, power, and control. Sociopaths love to take advantage of people’s kindness. They love to make you feel like you owe them something so that you’re stuck in a cycle of never being able to repay them.

If someone is being especially nice to you, pay attention to the way they’re acting – they could very well be a sociopath.

26) They constantly bring up the past

If someone is constantly bringing up something that happened in the past, like a time they did you a favor – while smiling and being nice the whole time – they’re faking niceness.

What they’re actually doing is trying to make you feel indebted to them.

In their minds, it’s probably time for payback.

By bringing up the past, they’re trying to remind you that you owe them something because they did something for you.

At the time you may have thought that they were just being a good friend, but trust me, with fake nice people, everything is calculated – everything is quid pro quo.