26 reasons everything is meant to be just as it is

Life has become a constant chase.

We either get nostalgic about the past or dream (or worse, worry!) about the future—we’re rarely ever present in the actual present.

We easily forget that we are now living the life we used to dream about.

So stop for a moment and just be still. Savor this day. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.

Here are 26 reasons everything’s meant to be just as it is in your life even though it doesn’t feel like it.

1) The past has made you stronger

Suffering isn’t a good thing and, in an ideal world, nobody should have to suffer.

But suffering and pain is nonetheless a part of our reality, and that’s something we have to live with.

There’s a well-known saying that goes “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” While it’s not always right—some things destroy you without building you up—there is truth in it.

Having faced pain, you now know what to expect when it comes for you again.

2) The past has made you see things clearly

Things are always a lot clearer in hindsight.

You would think about the things that happened to you—both good and bad—and you would notice the little signs that didn’t seem so obvious to you then.

And by thinking about your past experiences and trying to understand them, you teach yourself how to avoid your past mistakes.

Let’s say you met someone who you thought was a good person, only to have them turn out to be the worst person you’ve ever met.

Having seen firsthand what they are truly like inside, you will have become aware of the little things that gave them away so that you know what to look for the next time you see someone like them.

3) You’re now a lot wiser

When you’re young and inexperienced, you make a lot of mistakes simply because you didn’t know better.

You would sip the coffee without first checking how hot it is, or throw all your money at something without thinking about whether you truly need it or not.

You’d share things about yourself to your friends, thinking that they wouldn’t dare use it against you.

Now that you’re older and have gone through all these things, you know better. Or at least, hopefully you do.

All those times that you have been burnt by your mistakes taught you to be a little more cautious. To be a bit more mindful.

4) You’ve found your purpose and you’re sure of it

Nobody is born with perfect knowledge of what their true passions are—of what they’re meant to do.

We spend a lot of time pursuing the things that we thought were our passions, only to learn otherwise.

But we are all here for a purpose…and knowing them is the first step to live a meaningful life.

But it’s not easy.

There are far too many people trying to tell you it will just “come to you” and to focus on “raising your vibrations” or finding some vague kind of inner peace.

Self-help gurus are out there preying on people’s insecurities to make money and selling them on techniques which really don’t work for achieving your dreams.

Visualization. Meditation. Sage burning ceremonies with some vaguely indigenous chanting music in the background.

Hit pause.

The truth is that visualization and positive vibes won’t bring you closer to your dreams, and they can actually drag you backwards into wasting your life on a fantasy.

But it’s hard to find your true purpose when you’re being hit with so many different claims.

You can end up trying so hard and not finding the answers you need that your life and dreams begin to feel hopeless.

You want solutions, but all you’re being told is to create a perfect utopia inside your own mind. It doesn’t work.

So let’s go back to basics:

Before you can experience a real change, you need to really know your purpose.

I learned about the power of finding your purpose from watching Ideapod co-founder Justin Brown’s video on the hidden trap of improving yourself.

Justin used to be addicted to the self-help industry and New Age gurus just like me. They sold him on ineffective visualization and positive thinking techniques.

Four years ago, he traveled to Brazil to meet the renowned shaman Rudá Iandê, for a different perspective.

Rudá taught him a life-changing new way to find your purpose and use it to transform your life.

After watching the video, I also discovered and understood my purpose in life and it’s no exaggeration to say it was a turning point in my life.

Watch the free video here.

5) If things turned out well, it would have been a mediocre life

We all want things to go our way. But the thing is that happiness and misery are both relative.

If you live in misery long enough without having a “better life” to compare your life to, then eventually you’ll just get so used to how things are that you won’t feel as miserable as you actually are.

Likewise, if you keep on having things go your way, your good life becomes so stale and normal that you’ll get bored of it. Life becomes too easy.

If you ever wondered why people who “have it all” act so weird sometimes, or why people who should be miserable can live relatively happy lives, this is why.

For you to have a fulfilling life, you must face highs and lows. To struggle and earn your triumphs. Life would be mediocre and bland otherwise.

6) You’re now capable of handling the challenges of the present

You made mistakes in the past. There were times when the pressure was too much for you to bear.

But you persevered, and you learned.

With the knowledge and experience that you earned, you’re now more capable of handling the challenges you face in the present.

Your burden will be a little lighter upon your back and, should you somehow find yourself wanting, you can always learn some more from your experiences.

7) You’re now doing things at your own terms

The good thing about having lived an interesting life is that you will be taught to stand for yourself—to not bow down or let yourself be consumed by desperation.

You will have learned how desperation would make people commit to bad decisions.

Being desperate for companionship can lead to you tolerating a toxic relationship, for example.

You have had enough of that. You now live your own life, on your own terms…and you’re the freest you’ve been.

8) You’re now more self-aware

People who have easy and problem-free lives often sound very out of touch with reality, or even straight-up childish.

That’s because people simply don’t become self-aware out of the blue. There’s always some kind of revelatory experience—an ‘a-ha!’ moment—that would make them want to take a closer look at themselves.

And those kinds of experiences are triggered by hardship, whether directly or not.

Maybe your actions had brought harm on something—or someone—you care for, or maybe you had someone close to you tell you off about what you’ve been doing.

Being more aware of what’s great and not-so-great about you is the first step to having an authentic and peaceful life.

9) You now know who your friends are

It’s easy to be friends with people when you have a lot to give, be it time, attention, or money. But the moment you are no longer able to give people what they need is when their true colors shine.

Some people simply hang around you because of what you have to give, and because of that leave you when you can no longer give them anything. Others would latch on to your desperation and use you.

And then there are those who genuinely care for you. They who would, instead of abandoning or exploiting you, would instead try to lift you back up on your feet.

People say that hard times will always reveal who your true friends are, and this is why.

10) You’re ready to take on a new adventure

Sometimes, painful experiences can also signal a brand new start.

Let’s say that there have been tensions between your friends then it all came falling apart.

Or perhaps you were stuck in an unhappy relationship with someone you thought you loved. But now you both realize that you just weren’t meant for each other.

As tragic as both of these scenarios may be, they also signal the start of a new adventure.

You can always make new friends and find people more in tune with who you are. And now that you’re single again, you are now free to find the right person for you.

11) You’re now more responsible

Every action has a consequence. Many of us can be quite careless with the things we say and do, especially when we simply don’t know better.

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But having seen the consequences of your actions, you’re now more aware of the weight behind your every move.

And because of that, you’re now more responsible.

Think of all the billionaires who get caught doing one crime or another, pay off the fine, and walk off as if nothing happened. Well, you’re not that, because the world has taught you to become better.

Had you had an easy life, you wouldn’t have got a reason to learn how to be responsible.

12) You’re now more aware of other people’s suffering

Someone who hasn’t really seen much hardship would read about how others are suffering or in pain and sympathize. But that concept of suffering is abstract and distant.

If the worst abandonment that someone’s ever faced was having a date flake on them, they won’t understand just how soul-wrenching it would be to lose every single friend they’ve ever had. Or to lose a parent.

“How sad,” they would think. “Good thing I’m not them.”

While you might have not suffered the same pain everyone has, the suffering you’ve seen in life has made it easier for you to relate to other people’s pain.

13) You’re now emotionally mature

You’ve made mistakes back in the day. A lot of mistakes!

You might even call your younger self a bit of a brat, and cringe whenever you think about the things you’ve done.

Perhaps you used to have a temper that would keep getting you into trouble, and that you have said a lot of embarrassing (and painful) things in the heat of the moment.

It’s not hard to wish sometimes that you’ve never done those things, but it’s alright.

If you didn’t make those mistakes, you probably wouldn’t have had the opportunity or motivation to be a more mature person.

14) You actually like where you’re headed even if you’re still at the bottom

You’ve just started on a career you actually like, and you’re still at the bottom. You’re dating someone who you truly like but you’ve only met them a week ago.

But it doesn’t matter. What’s important is that you’ve figured out what you truly want.

You know where you’re headed, what it takes for you to walk that path, and you look forward to meeting every second of it.

The world is your oyster once again.

15) You’re better at coping

Some people use the concept of “coping” as an insult, but it’s actually very important to know how to do it if you want to function in stressful environments.

Because that’s what coping is—it’s knowing how to handle circumstances that may bring you stress or harm. And it takes effort to learn.

That’s because coping isn’t a single skill that can be easily shared, but a toolbox that every person has to fill with the tools that work for them.

16) You’ve gotten rid of bad habits

You had some bad habits. Perhaps you used to smoke, or drink, or gamble. Or maybe you were fond of wasting your energy gossiping or arguing with people needlessly.

But now you know better and have gotten rid of bad habits.

You’re all too aware of just how badly they can ruin your life. Smoking and drinking can cut it short, and arguing and gambling will ruin your social life and your wallet.

And you’ve decided that, no. You don’t want that.

17) You’ve gotten rid of bad relationships

You might regret the bad things that had happened to you in the past. The arguments that tore friendships apart, and the drama that turned fond feelings into hate.

And you most likely will miss all those relationships that have gone bad, wondering every now and then if there was anything you could have done better.

Some of those relationships could have gone differently, of course, but what’s done is done. And most importantly, it means that perhaps you just weren’t meant to be together.

It doesn’t matter if they were “good” people in the end. Sometimes people just aren’t meant to be together, whether as friends or as something more.

It’s better to be alone than to be with someone who’s clearly toxic for us.

18) You’ve become spiritual (and it’s the authentic kind)

When you’ve reached rock bottom, when you’ve been through real hardships, that’s the time you realize the importance of spirituality.

But the thing with spirituality is that it’s just like everything else in life: It can be manipulated.

Lucky for you if you’ve seen through the BS and found one that’s truly beneficial.

If you’re having doubts, read up.

Unfortunately, not all the gurus and experts that preach spirituality do so with our best interests at heart. Some take advantage to twist spirituality into something toxic – poisonous even.

I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandé. With over 30 years of experience in the field, he’s seen and experienced it all.

From exhausting positivity to downright harmful spiritual practices, this free video he created tackles a range of toxic spirituality habits.

So what makes Rudá different from the rest? How do you know he’s not also one of the manipulators he warns against?

The answer is simple:

He promotes spiritual empowerment from within.

Click here to watch the free video and bust the spiritual myths you’ve bought for the truth.

Rather than tell you how you should practice spirituality, Rudá puts the focus solely onto you. Essentially, he puts you back in the driver’s seat of your spiritual journey.

19) You now have people to share your joys with

It might be painful to make friends, only to lose them. To care for people, only for them to leave you behind or throw you out.

But not everyone leaves. Some people will stay with you and stick by your side through thick and thin. And it’s these people, the ones who stay behind, that matter.

They’re the ones who truly like you for who you are, and with whom you can share your joys without having to feel like you’re walking on eggshells.

And what’s more? You’ve cultivated new friendships. The more we know ourselves, the easier for us to find our tribe—and you’ve definitely found yours.

20) You now know how to speak your truth

You used to hold your tongue all the time, afraid that you would come off as “rude” or a “killjoy.”

But now you’ve learned better. That there is value in letting your voice be heard instead of always bowing your head and letting your frustrations simmer.

And not only that, you know how to share your thoughts and feelings with tact.

If people would cast you aside for speaking up, despite your best attempts at being tactful or diplomatic, then they probably didn’t deserve your attention anyways.

21) You’ve found your own path and stopped comparing yourself to others

You used to compare yourself to others all the time.

Sometimes, it was to make yourself feel a sense of superiority by looking at people who are behind you. At other times, you look ahead at the people better than you with envy.

But you have learned since then that this isn’t doing you any favors at all. There’s always people better or worse off than you are, and that the only person you can truly compare yourself with is… yourself.

So now you center yourself on your own path in life, checking every now and then to make sure that you’re better today than you were yesterday.

22) You’re now gentle with yourself

When you mess up, you used to tear yourself to shreds. When someone else gives you criticism, you would beat yourself up over it for ages.

You used to be your own worst critic… and probably still are.

But you now know that you should be kind with yourself—to not be any harsher than you need to be.

After all, there’s only one person who is going to be always with you from the day you were born to the day you die. And that’s you, yourself. So you figured that you might as well treat yourself nicely.

23) You don’t let pride rule your heart

You’ve learnt better than to let pride—or the lack of it—dictate your actions.

Some people are so prideful that they won’t ask for help even when they absolutely need it. Others willingly debase themselves, just to get what they want.

But you’ve learnt better than to go to either extreme.

You have enough personal pride and integrity not to sell yourself out just to get your way, but at the same time you are humble enough to ask for help from others when you need it.

24) You’ve learned more about people

Back in the day, you would ask questions like “how could someone do this?”

How can people be so cruel?

How can they be so kind?

How can they hate, yet love?

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With every struggle you face in life, you would find the answers to your questions handed to you.

Your experiences offer you a window into how other people think—a window through which you could try to understand and empathize, and be at peace that people are just complicated creatures.

25) You’ve learned more about yourself

You have toiled, and you have struggled. And because of this, you have come in touch with who you are deep inside.

Not everything you will learn about yourself will be good. Some of the things you might learn about yourself might make you angry at first.

But there’s no choice in the end but acceptance. You might even doubt why you are in this world, if you are this flawed.

26) You’ve learned more about life

We’re all on a lifelong journey of learning, and all of the things you’ve done will have taught you something about it.

The years you spent hung up on love taught you about what true love really is. The years you spent chasing after the wrong goals might have taught you things that you might find useful later on.

You haven’t learned everything that life has to teach you, not yet. But you know more today than you did yesterday, and that’s what matters.

Last words

It’s easy to lose track of where you now stand.

You would be burdened by regrets of the past and fears of the future. You might not even understand just how extraordinary it is that you are here, right now.

So take the time to relax, take a deep breath, and remind yourself of just how far you’ve become.

Think of yourself from a year ago, and then think about how much you have evolved since then—how much you’ve learned, and how far you’ve come, and congratulate yourself.

You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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