I think we’ve all seen those romantic movies where a woman stays faithful and loyally waits for her boyfriend to figure out what he wants in life.
He may be on a heroic journey to save the planet, or it may be something as simple as getting his career and finances in order.
It looks nice in the movies. But in reality, It can feel very difficult and challenging to wait around for someone to take hold of their lives and change.
Or when your boyfriend finally takes action and becomes obsessed with change, it can feel like he is only focused on himself and doesn’t care about you or your relationship anymore.
I know this because I’ve lost the woman I love from being completely self-absorbed. The reason I know this is because she moved on and never looked back.
Honestly. I hope you do the same thing. Here’s why you shouldn’t wait around for your man to get his life together.
The kind of girl guys regret losing
So let’s get this out of the way first. Because it’s the most important piece of advice I can share.
If you’re reading this, you’ve probably moved on from a man that you cared deeply about.
And you’re probably wondering if he regrets losing you.
Here’s the brutal truth:
Men end up deeply regretting women who move on.
This is why my advice to you is so important. You must become the kind of person who puts your own needs first.
If the relationship isn’t helping you and you know you arent’ supporting your man, it’s time to let it go.
This isn’t a trick to make him think you are moving on and want him to chase you.
You have to actually move on. To the point where you don’t want him back.
I know this is incredibly difficult to do.
But if you don’t find a way to put yourself first, you’re going to create a dangerous pattern with this man.
You’re going to be showing him that his needs and wants in life are more important than yours.
He may come back to you. You may find a way to revive the relationship. It may go well for a while.
But in the long run, you will have created an unhealthy and unequal dynamic between the two of you. Because he will want you to place his needs before your own.
Instead of going down this path, now is the time to prioritize yourself. Even though you’re probably experiencing pain right now, this moment presents itself as an incredible opportunity.
Once you become the kind of person who actually moves on and prioritizes yourself first, something special happens…
When a man realizes he lost a good woman
When you learn to prioritize your wants and needs in life, the man in your life is more likely to realize that he lost a good woman.
It may not happen immediately. He may not be the kind of guy to admit he’s made a mistake.
In fact, he may do his best to shut off these emotions.
In general, men aren’t as expressive as women are. Because of this, they may seem heartless and cold.
They might even seem like it’s a loss that they don’t regret.
However, it’s going to hit him hard once he realizes that he can never find the same woman twice.
The thing is, he will finally realize he lost a good woman, his actions and mistakes will replay in his head and he’ll wish that he took care of you while you were still in his life.
It’s at this moment he’ll wish that he didn’t take your love and selfless actions for granted.
This brings me to my next point…
When a man loses the woman he loves
Something quite startling happens when a man realizes that you are the kind of woman who prioritizes herself first.
He experiences the reality that his ambitions aren’t the things that matter. He understands that he’s losing something that may be even more important than the things he’s been chasing.
He realizes that he’s lost the woman he loves.
This isn’t about having your own ambitions in the same way as him. Your goals in life will be unique to you. You may have your own big goals or you may desire a simple life.
What matters is that you have figured out what matters to you… You have learned to live for yourself, charting a pathway forward in life based on your underlying values, hopes, and dreams.
Do you want to know how I know the man in your life will realize that he’s lost the woman he loves?
Because when you start to live for yourself, you will know how to truly love yourself.
When you start to truly love and respect yourself, the relationships you have in life will follow in a similar way.
You have the power to create a powerful shift in the dynamics of your relationships.
In fact, when it comes to relationships, you might be surprised to hear that there’s one very important connection you’ve probably been overlooking:
The relationship you have with yourself.
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Suffering from Empty and Draining Relationships?
The legendary shaman Rudá Iandê reveals the 3 most important factors to healthy and loving relationships (and to experience them right now).
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I learned about this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. In his incredible, free video on cultivating healthy relationships, he gives you the tools to plant yourself at the center of your world.
And once you start doing that, there’s no telling how much happiness and fulfillment you can find within yourself and with your relationships and love life.
If you’re tired of feeling undervalued, unappreciated, or unloved, try watching this talk for some practical and useful ways to change your love life around.
The way I see it is that you have two choices:
1) You can focus on the man you’ve lost and try and get him back… But won’t really be changing the deeper dynamics in the relationship…
2) Or you can commit to yourself and embrace the fear of the unknown… You can register for this masterclass and start to prioritize the relationship you have with yourself.
When do guys realize what they lost?
Let’s go a little bit deeper and answer the question:
When do guys realize what they lost?
Guys realize what they lost when they finally slow down and learn some humility.
Every man is on a hero’s journey at some point in their life. They think their goals are what really matter.
But at some point, sooner or later, a man will learn that the purpose of his goals is to contribute back to society. He’ll learn that relationships are what matters in life, and it’s not about taking from those relationships.
Most men will go through this realization. They will learn about their vulnerability. They’ll wish they had a nurturing and loving presence in their life.
At this point, he’s going to realize what he lost.
He’ll see that you’ve moved on with your life. He’ll see that you’ve found a man with more emotional maturity than he had at that time.
That’s okay. He’ll be better off for experiencing the pain of losing you compared to the pain you can feel by being overlooked and undervalued.
Trust me, when you look back, you’ll see that you are better off for having put yourself first rather than waiting for your partner to get his life together.
How to know if he regrets losing you
Let’s be realistic about this.
You have to move on to the point that you don’t care whether he regrets losing you or not.
But that’s super hard.
The reality is you’re going to be wondering if he regrets losing you.
What you need to do is first move on with your life. You have to be out meeting new people, doing things with your life.
When you feel vibrant and active, and have fun, you create a really positive aura around you. You start to become magnetic and draw more people towards you.
At this point, see if you can cross paths with him, you are giving off a different level of confidence. You know your value and worth and can invite him to recognize this or to keep on with his own life.
Just make sure you have really changed your behavior and stopped accepting his bullshit by this stage. You can’t go back into the old habits of letting him make the relationship all about him.
How long does it take for a guy to realize what he lost?
This is the ultimate question. How long will it take for a guy to realize what he lost?
The key is that the guy goes through enough life lessons that life isn’t all about him. He needs to develop a deep level of emotional maturity to be able to do things for others.
Many guys will get to this point. But many will not.
You can’t control his journey in life. But you can control the standards you have.
You must have the self-respect to only get back into a relationship with him if he has arrived at a level of maturity where the relationship isn’t just about him.
If you don’t have that kind of self-respect in place, then he’s always going to be selfish in the relationship — if the relationship even comes back in the first place.
Want advice specific to your situation?
While the points in this article will help you deal with not waiting for this man, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the issues you’re facing in your love life.
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like when a man regrets losing the one woman who didn’t wait for him. They’re popular because their advice works.
So, why do I recommend them?
Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to them a few months ago. After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.
I was blown away by how genuine, understanding, and professional they were.
In just a few minutes, you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.
In conclusion, every man regrets losing the one woman who didn’t wait for him.
Most of the time, when you finally meet the right person, you should want to do nothing more than spend every waking moment with that person.
So, if a man loses that opportunity with a woman who really wanted to be his girlfriend and wife, he will most probably regret it for the rest of his life.
The major takeaway from this article is how important it is to not take your partner for granted.
How this one revelation changed my love life
It’s Justin Brown here, the co-founder of Ideapod, and I have something to confess…
I used to believe I needed to be successful before I deserved to find someone who could love me.
I used to believe there was a “perfect person” out there and I just had to find them.
I used to believe I would finally be happy once I found “the one”.
What I now know is that these limiting beliefs were stopping me from building deep and intimate relationships with the people I was meeting. I was chasing an illusion that was leading me to loneliness.
If you want to change anything in your life, one of the most effective ways is to change your beliefs.
Unfortunately, it’s not an easy thing to do.
I’m lucky to have worked directly with the shaman Rudá Iandê in changing my beliefs about love. Doing so has changed my life forever.
Now, Rudá’s teachings can change your life, too.
As the co-founder of Ideapod, I’m in a unique position to be able to bring Rudá’s teachings to our global community.
We do this by promoting his masterclasses.
One of the most powerful masterclasses he has is the love and intimacy masterclass. In this class, Rudá breaks down his key lessons on cultivating healthy and nurturing relationships in your life.
Thousands of people have already let me know that this masterclass has changed their love lives for the better.
Justin Brown, Ideapod Founder