Listen up boys – this one’s not for you.
Turning up to a date and trying to see if the person sitting across from you ticks off all of these boxes isn’t what we’re aiming for.
The term ‘high-value woman’ is to be used by women about themselves to better understand their self-worth and where they might improve on how they value themselves.
It’s not a term for others to define a woman’s value or stick them in a box constructed by societal norms that limits their growth.
What we want to explore instead is what characteristics make up a boss b**** who really knows her worth.
And if you don’t yet walk in her shoes, let’s see what we can do to get you to her level:
1) She knows her worth
As cliché as it sounds, a high-value woman knows and has confidence in what she brings to the table.
This self-assurance isn’t built on a foundation of needing outside validation.
Like the number of Instagram likes or retweets she receives.
Nor is it built on the number of men who strike up a conversation with her or text her back.
High-value women don’t really pop out of the womb with this inner confidence.
It takes hard work and grafting.
Still, one of the clearest indicators of being of high-value is considering yourself to be worthy.
It’s very difficult to present yourself as worthy if you don’t actually believe in yourself (unless your acting skills are exemplary).
So, high-value women have honed that inner belief that they are capable, that they are worthy, and that they are deserving of all that they strive to achieve.
They don’t allow petty gossip or degrading comments to detract from their self-worth.
After all, a lioness doesn’t care for the opinion of sheep.
2) She does inner work for herself and not for anyone else
All that hard work she’s done to cultivate her self-worth, she’s done for herself – not for anyone else.
There’s a difference insaying, “I’m going to get thinner/happier/learn French”, with teary eyes as you watch a man you like walk away and start ruminating on how you’ll win him back.
Whilst high-value women might have had some form of catalyst event that propelled them into their journey of self-discovery and growth, they now continue to evolve and flourish for themselves.
Not to spite or impress their parents.
Not to win back an ex.
Not to one-up a best friend.
Whether it’s going to therapy, listening to podcasts, or reading mind-opening books, the inner work and self-improvement that high-value women conduct is purely to better themselves, because they want to do so.
They know that at the end of the day and at the end of their lives, they’re the only one they have to come home to.
Thus, they motivate and cheerlead themselves onward, to expand their self-awareness, do that inner work and continue growing – for themselves.
3) She’s driven and motivated
Toiling tirelessly at inner work takes motivation.
So does setting goals and waking up every morning with a clear action plan of how to achieve them.
High value-women tend to have a clear vision for their future.
They have passion.
They know that to achieve those goals, they need to organize and compartmentalize their lives in a manner that allows them to focus their attention on areas that need it most.
Their drive comes from within; they gain a personal sense of fulfilment and satisfaction in working towards their goals.
Their motivation is contributed to by outside influences such as wealth and reputation; the desire to reach an impressive social standing and be rich in time and money spurs them onwards in finding the effort to conduct tasks and stay on track.
High-value women tend to exhibit both motivation and drive.
They use both of these characteristics to develop lifestyles which focus on foundational pillars of health and wellness.
They know that they don’t need to run every day or eat only one almond for breakfast to please society.
However, by investing time and effort into self- discipline and wellbeing they can focus their attention effectively and maximize their time and effort .
4) She’s empathetic and understanding
…but not in a bend-over-backwards, people-pleasing sort of way.
There’s a funny amount of pressure and expectations for women to conform to the nurturing, maternal stereotype.
Whilst dedicating your life to helping others and to raising children is more than okay if you feel that’s your life purpose, a high-value woman doesn’t need to be that Mother Teresa figure.
She has the emotional intelligence and depth to understand where people are coming from when they express their emotions or share their feelings.
She knows, however, when to draw and enforce boundaries.
Sacrificing her own self-worth or happiness for someone who wouldn’t do the same in return – just because some people still carry the expectation that women should smile, nod, and scurry off to perform whatever chore was asked of them – is not on her cards.
You’ll likely get the sagest and most thoughtful of advice should you turn to her, but she’ll also be realistic in making sure no one feels like their place in the relationship is compromised.
5) She doesn’t conform to gender or societal norms
Lastly, a high-value woman doesn’t look the same for everyone.
Nor does she conform for anyone.
With Barbie being a hot-topic, think about trailing down Target shelves and checking out all the available Barbies…
Pop star Barbie
Whilst the available models of dolls widen and become more inclusive, we have yet to find a ‘high-value Barbie’ on the shelves.
That’s because high-value women don’t fit into a box. Nor do they all look the same.
Being high value is a label you give to yourself.
It doesn’t mean you have to be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company.
At risk of sounding too much like a doll advert, high value women really do come in all shapes and sizes.
The Fortune 500 CEO who has worked harder than all her male colleagues since preschool.
The stay-at-home mom who adores her children and showers those around her with her tender nature.
The aspiring art student whose work keeps being declined from gallerists, but still perseveres in her passion and knows that one day, she’ll make it.
When in possession of that self-worth and confidence, all of these women can be of high value.
To reiterate, no one else should be deeming you high-value.
If they are, consider their motivations and the way in which they view other people.
After all, women are not just plastic dolls to be bought and possessed, and sticking a price tag or a value on a person is a pretty unpleasant trait.
So take what you can from this article.
Maybe you’ve noticed areas in which your own sense of self could be improved upon.
Maybe you’re actually more confident than you think.
Just remember – being high-value requires a mindset in which you know and own your worth.
There’s nothing stopping you.