As adults in our lives, parents provide us with an important sense of validation and guidance.
They teach us how to make decisions and set boundaries. Because of this, we are able to form healthy relationships that last a lifetime.
But not all parents are emotionally available for their children, making it hard for their kids to trust and build a meaningful relationship with them.
Here are 17 signs your parents are emotionally unavailable and what you can do about it.
1) They don’t listen to you.
If your parents don’t listen to you, then it doesn’t matter what you say or how much you try to be a good listener, they won’t have a chance to understand who you are and where you are coming from.
You may feel frustrated as a result of their inability to pay attention and not provide the validation that is necessary for healthy relationships.
If your parents don’t listen to you, then it doesn’t matter what you say or how much you try to be a good listener, they won’t have a chance to understand who you are and where you are coming from.
You may feel frustrated as a result of their inability to pay attention and not provide the validation that is necessary for healthy relationships.
2) They don’t ask about your life.
If your parents don’t ask about what is going on in your life, it may make you feel like they are not interested in who you are and that their time could be better spent with someone else.
It can also cause feelings of loneliness or boredom if there isn’t much conversation happening at home.
If these thoughts come up for you, talk to them about how important family conversations and connections are to help keep the lines open between all members of a family unit.
3) They aren’t interested in your achievements.
When your parents don’t care about what you do with your life and what you have accomplished, it can be devastating.
You may feel like you aren’t able to share with them because they aren’t interested anyway.
When your parents don’t care about what you do with your life and what you have accomplished, it can be devastating.
You may feel like you aren’t able to share with them because they aren’t interested anyway.
4) They don’t validate how hard you work or how well you did on a test.
If your parents don’t validate the hard work and effort that goes into achieving something, then it can make you feel like you aren’t worth anything or that your accomplishments don’t matter.
If they do not recognize these efforts as a result of what is required to succeed in life, this lack of recognition can cause an individual to question their self-worth and potentially lead them down a negative path.
5) They are not actively engaged in activities with you.
If your parents aren’t interested in taking part in activities with you, then it can be disappointing and hurtful to know that they are missing out on the fun things happening in your life.
If you feel like this is what’s going on, talk to them about why they don’t want to participate and see if there is anything that could change their mind or at least make them more open-minded towards the idea of having a family activity night once a week.
6) They don’t make you feel important or special.
If your parents don’t make you feel important or special, it can be extremely painful to know that they aren’t proud of you or care about you.
If this is the case, then it’s time to take a step back and re-evaluate what type of relationship with them will work best for both parties.
It may be time to set boundaries in order for yourself so that when your parents do meet those standards they’ll realize how much better their lives would have been if they had raised kids who were happy and healthy instead of just emotionally stable.
7) They don’t give compliments to let you know how much they love and appreciate you.
It can be disappointing when your parents don’t give you compliments and let you know how much they love and appreciate what is happening in your life.
If this happens, it might make sense to talk with them about why they’re not giving the attention that their child needs.
Maybe there’s a reason for everything that’s going on right now or maybe just one person in the family has been feeling neglected lately but everyone else has been doing well.
It would also help if someone could explain to kids how important it is for adults to care about each other so children feel loved by both of their parents as well as others around them.
8) They don’t make an effort to spend time with you.
It can be hard to know what your parents care about and why they don’t spend time with you, but it’s important that you find out.
It may help if you try talking to them about the things in their life that are most important: maybe they’re busy at work or have a lot on their plate right now.
If not, then ask how much time they want from each other so there is more room for quality family moments like spending evenings together watching TV or going on hikes in nature.
9) They don’t make the effort to get involved in your activities or show up for important events.
If your parents don’t make an effort to get involved in your activities or show up for important events, it can be very upsetting.
This is really important if you’re a teenager and have activities, games, and competitions.
As a child gets older, it may be easier for their parents to get involved and help out with things that are happening in their life.
However, when this doesn’t happen, it can make children feel like they’re not being supported or loved by their parents. It’s important for parents to be involved in the activities of their children and make the effort to show up for things that are important.
10) They don’t focus on making you happy but instead focus on being happy themselves.
If your parents seem to be prioritizing their needs over yours, it can be hurtful and disappointing.
If this is happening, it might help if someone could explain to kids how important relationships are so that the children feel loved by both of their parents as well as those around them.
Parents should also try not to ignore what the children want so they can feel like they’re being heard and understood by the people who love them most.
11) They don’t take the time to tell you they love you.
It’s important that parents show their love for their children, so if they don’t say “I love you” or show affection, it can be very unsettling.
It’s also important for parents to make the effort to tell their kids that there is nothing they wouldn’t do for them and that they will always be there for them no matter what happens in life.
Parents should take time out of every day with each child as well as on special occasions such as birthdays and holidays; this helps create a strong bond between parent and child which has proven vital throughout childhood development.
12) They don’t show you any affection.
A study done by the University of Washington found that children who were hugged at least once a day showed more positive emotions and less negative ones than those who weren’t.
This is because hugs have been shown to increase levels of oxytocin in the brain, which helps people feel closer to others.
Oxytocin also has an effect on stress-related hormones such as cortisol, improving moods and reducing anxiety.
It’s important for parents not only to show their affection but teach it too so kids don’t grow up without ever feeling loved or cared about.
13) They’re not enthusiastic about spending time with you.
It’s important for parents to spend time with their children, so if they don’t seem interested in doing this, it can be upsetting.
It’s also important for parents to make the effort to go out of their way to spend time with their children as often as they can.
Parents should try not only spending quality time together but also taking some “quality” moments away from each other by going on a trip or exploring something new that neither one has tried before and then sharing what happened once you come back home.
14) They don’t talk to you when they get home from work or school.
If your parent doesn’t talk when they get home from work or school, it can be hurtful.
It’s important for parents to make the effort to talk to their children after they come home from work or school so the children feel like they’re being heard and understood by the people who love them most.
15) They yell at you when you make a mistake.
When parents yell at their children when they make mistakes, it can leave scars that last a lifetime.
It’s important for parents to try not to do this because of the lasting effects it has on your child.
If you’re in an argument with your spouse and yelling is getting out of control, remember that fighting isn’t going anywhere so trying some different tactics might help calm down both parties involved without any permanent damage being done or leaving bad memories behind.
16) They ignore what you’re saying when you’re talking to them.
It’s important for children to feel like their voices are being heard and understood by other people, so they don’t put up with mistreatment or abuse from anyone else.
In order for kids to not feel as isolated during difficult times, adults have a responsibility of listening and caring about each other in positive ways in order to create an accepting environment where love is valued above all else.
When parents neglect the feelings of their children it can be hurtful because children often rely on others’ opinions when deciding how they should react or what course of action they should take.
Parents who let go too much will make themselves seem less reliable which could cause confusion among their children that may lead them into making poor decisions such as staying away from one parent out of fear that he/she won’t listen if needed.
17) They aren’t interested in the things you like.
It’s important for parents to take interest in their children’s passions and interests because it shows that they care about what they do with their time and how they feel about themselves.
Some kids may have an interest in something that their parents don’t approve of, which can lead to a lot of arguments between the two parties.
It’s important to try to be open-minded when it comes to the things your child likes because that can help strengthen your relationship with them.
It’s also important for parents not to force their children into things that they don’t want to do because it could cause a rift in their relationship as well as resentment toward one another.
What to do if your parents are emotionally unavailable
If your parents are emotionally unavailable, it can be a very lonely and painful experience to go through. However, there are things you can do to help lessen the effects of this condition.
Don’t blame yourself for their shortcomings. It’s important not to blame yourself for any of the problems in your relationship with them because you didn’t cause them.
They have their own issues that they need to work out in order to make it up to you and become more emotionally available, so don’t let them make you feel guilty about anything.
Your parents may have been emotionally unavailable when they raised you because they had a lot of problems that needed solving as well as parenting issues that caused them to avoid dealing with their true feelings and emotions.
But you don’t have to follow the same path as them.
You need to understand where this emotional unavailability comes from, and how to overcome it. And the best way to do that is to check out this free video by the shaman Rudá Iandê.
Through his advice and teachings, I was finally able to break free from the traumas of my upbringing and cultivate healthy relationships with others.
Because not only does Rudá offer realistic and practical tips on healing and improving relationships, but he explains how most of us are taught how to love incorrectly.
It was extremely eye-opening and certainly a pivotal moment in my life, so I hope watching the video will offer you the same positive healing.
Click here to watch the free video.
Don’t let them make you feel guilty
If they are emotionally unavailable and they make you feel guilty, it can be very frustrating to deal with.
To prevent this from happening, try to be as assertive as possible.
It’s important that you realize that your parents have their own problems and issues that need to be solved in order for them to become more emotionally available because if they don’t work out for them, then there is nothing you can do about it.
Try not to take their actions personally because if your parents were able to become more emotionally available without the help of your support, then their feelings aren’t as strong and important as they think they are.
Know when enough is enough
Sometimes it’s difficult to tell when you’ve had enough of an argument, but if you can notice that there is no point in continuing the discussion or that you are starting to feel frustrated or angry, then it’s probably time to stop.
Try not to take their comments personally because they don’t mean them and they don’t want to hurt your feelings.
It may seem like they are trying to make you feel bad about yourself or about something you did, and this is what causes them to be emotionally unavailable in the first place.
If this is the case, then try not to take it personally because it’s not directed at you.
Don’t try to change your parents’ behavior
It’s important for children not to force their parents into changing their behavior, especially if they are emotionally unavailable.
If you try to make your parents change their actions and words, it can be very frustrating for them to deal with.
They may not want to change because they don’t want you to see that they have some problems and issues that need to be solved in order for them to become more emotionally available.
Don’t take it personally if your parents don’t like the things you do or say
Even though some people think that it’s important for children to like the things their parents like or do, this isn’t always the case.
Some children may not like their parents’ ideas about what is good and bad, so it’s important for them not to take this personally as well as not make them feel bad about themselves.
Conclusion
Hopefully, you have learned a lot about the different ways in which someone can be emotionally unavailable.
If your parents are emotionally unavailable and don’t want to be available to you, then there are a lot of things you can do that will help them become more available.
Try not to take their actions personally because they don’t mean them and they don’t want to hurt your feelings. It may seem like they are trying to make you feel bad about yourself or about something you did, but this isn’t what they are thinking at all.
