12 things emotionally intelligent people do way differently

Have you ever noticed how some people just seem to get life right?

They’re calm when things go wrong, they know what to say and when to say it, and they’re great at dealing with people.

The secret to their success? It’s something called emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is all about understanding our own feelings, being able to control them, and being good at dealing with other people.

People who are emotionally intelligent do things a bit differently, and it’s this difference that helps them do so well in life.

So, what exactly do these emotionally intelligent people do differently? Let’s take a look!

1. Knowing Their Feelings

Emotionally intelligent people are like detectives of their own emotions.

They’re always tuned in to how they’re feeling at any given moment.

But it’s not about being touchy-feely. It’s about understanding what’s going on inside them.

For example, let’s say they’re feeling cranky.

Instead of letting it ruin their day, they’ll ask themselves, “Why am I feeling this way?” Maybe they didn’t get enough sleep, or maybe they’re stressed about a big project at work.

Once they know why they’re feeling cranky, they can do something about it – like getting more sleep or breaking down the big project into smaller, manageable tasks.

Knowing their feelings helps emotionally intelligent people understand why they behave the way they do.

It guides their decisions and helps them avoid acting on impulse.

It’s like having a personal roadmap to their emotions, and it’s one of the key things that sets them apart from others.

See, understanding your feelings is the first step to controlling them. And that’s a big part of emotional intelligence!

So next time you’re feeling off, take a page from the emotionally intelligent people’s book: Pause, tune in to your feelings and ask yourself why you might be feeling that way.

You might surprise yourself with what you discover!

2. Controlling Their Feelings

Ever noticed how emotionally intelligent folks never seem to lose their cool?

That’s because they’re experts at controlling their feelings.

They know that just because they’re feeling something, doesn’t mean they have to act on it.

Let’s say they’re really angry with a friend. Instead of lashing out or saying something hurtful, they’ll take a deep breath and calmly express their feelings.

They might say, “I felt hurt when you did this” instead of “You’re such a jerk.” This way, they can express their anger without starting a fight.

They also know how to handle positive emotions.

If they’re really excited about something, they won’t let it distract them from what they need to do.

They’ll enjoy the feeling, but they won’t let it take over.

Controlling their feelings doesn’t mean ignoring them.

It means understanding them, expressing them in a healthy way, and not letting them dictate their actions.

This is a super important skill that emotionally intelligent people have mastered.

And guess what? You can learn to do it too!

Next time you’re feeling a strong emotion, take a moment to understand it, then choose the best way to express it.

Remember: You’re in charge of your feelings, not the other way around!

3. Understanding Others’ Feelings

People with high emotional intelligence have an uncanny ability to understand and connect with others’ feelings.

It’s like they have a built-in radar for emotions.

This trait is called empathy, and it’s a game-changer in every relationship.

Let me share a personal example to illustrate this point.

A while ago, a close friend of mine seemed unusually quiet during our usual coffee catch-ups. Instead of dismissing it or filling the silence with my own stories, I put myself in her shoes.

I asked myself, “How would I feel if I were her? What could be causing this change?”

Taking a moment to think about her feelings helped me approach the situation more sensitively.

I gently asked if everything was okay, and she opened up about some personal issues she was dealing with.

Because I had taken the time to empathize with her, I was able to provide the understanding and support she needed at that moment.

Being able to understand others’ feelings allows emotionally intelligent people to connect on a deeper level.

It makes others feel valued and heard, and it helps build strong, meaningful relationships.

So next time you’re with a friend, family member or colleague, try tuning in to their feelings. Put yourself in their shoes for a moment. You might be surprised at how much closer it brings you!

4. Good at Talking

Emotionally intelligent folks are skilled communicators.

They know how to express their thoughts and feelings clearly and respectfully, and they’re also excellent listeners.

When they talk, they aim for clarity and understanding.

They make sure their message is understood by others, and they’re careful not to hurt or offend anyone with their words.

They use “I” statements to express their feelings without blaming others.

But being a good communicator isn’t just about talking – it’s also about listening. Emotionally intelligent people are active listeners.

They pay full attention to the speaker, show empathy, and try to understand their point of view without interrupting or judging.

Listening, good listeners are seen as more socially attractive and are more likely to be leaders in their social groups.

This shows how important effective communication is in our social lives.

So next time you’re having a conversation, try to speak clearly and listen actively. Remember, good communication is a two-way street!

5. Handling Stress

Stress is a part of life. We all face it, but emotionally intelligent people have a unique way of dealing with it.

They have effective coping mechanisms that allow them to navigate through stressful situations without crumbling.

When confronted with stress, emotionally intelligent people take a step back to breathe and reflect.

They acknowledge their feelings without letting them cloud their judgement.

They remind themselves that it’s okay to feel stressed and that it’s just a response to a situation, not the end of the world.

Here’s where it gets heartfelt: emotionally intelligent people often turn to gratitude when facing stress.

They focus on the things they’re thankful for, which can help shift their mindset from one of stress to one of appreciation.

This simple act can reduce the intensity of stress and bring a sense of calm.

So, next time you’re feeling stressed, remember to pause, breathe, and think about what you’re grateful for.

It may just be your secret weapon for handling stress with grace and resilience.

Remember, it’s not about avoiding stress but learning how to handle it in a healthier way.

6. Resolving Fights

Folks with high emotional intelligence have a knack for resolving conflicts in a way that keeps everyone’s feelings intact.

They’re able to see the situation from different perspectives, find common ground, and come up with a solution that everyone can agree on.

Let me share a personal situation where I had to put this skill into practice.

A while back, my sibling and I had a disagreement over who should take care of our aging parents.

I felt that he wasn’t pulling his weight, while he felt that I was being too demanding.

Instead of letting the argument escalate, I decided to step back and see things from his perspective.

I realized that he was juggling a lot of responsibilities and was feeling overwhelmed.

With this new understanding, we sat down and had a heart-to-heart conversation.

We expressed our feelings honestly and respectfully, without blaming each other.

We were able to come up with a plan that was fair to both of us and, most importantly, beneficial for our parents.

Being able to resolve conflicts in a mature way not only solved our problem but also brought us closer as siblings.

So next time you find yourself in an argument, try to see the other person’s point of view. It might just be the key to finding a resolution that works for everyone!

7. Bouncing Back

Life can be a real kicker sometimes.

We all face setbacks, failures, and disappointments.

But you know what separates emotionally intelligent people from the rest?

Their ability to bounce back. They don’t just wallow in their failures; they rise from them.

Emotionally intelligent people understand that failure isn’t a dead end – it’s a detour.

It’s not something to be ashamed of but something to learn from.

When they fall, they dust themselves off, take a good look at what tripped them, and figure out how to avoid it next time.

They don’t let failure define them; they let it refine them.

They see it as an opportunity to grow, to improve, and to become stronger.

It might hurt, and boy, does it sting sometimes, but they know that the pain is temporary and the lessons are permanent.

So next time you stumble, remember: it’s okay to feel the disappointment, but don’t let it hold you down.

Stand up, shake off the dust, learn from it, and keep moving forward.

Because that’s what emotionally intelligent people do – they bounce back.

8. Staying Positive

Emotionally intelligent people have a knack for maintaining a positive outlook, even when things get tough.

They focus on the silver lining rather than the cloud, and this helps them persevere through challenges.

They understand that their perspective can greatly influence their reality.

So, instead of dwelling on problems or obstacles, they choose to see them as opportunities for growth and learning.

This doesn’t mean they ignore their problems, but they approach them with a positive and solution-oriented mindset.

Maintaining a positive attitude can contribute to greater success in work, better physical health, and improved emotional well-being.

So, next time you’re faced with a challenge, try to shift your focus from the problem to the potential solutions.

Look for the silver lining and keep a positive outlook.

It might not change the situation, but it can definitely change how you handle it!

9. Adapting to Change

Change is a part of life.

Sometimes it’s exciting, sometimes it’s terrifying, but it’s always inevitable.

Emotionally intelligent people understand this and are able to adapt to change with grace and flexibility.

Here’s a glimpse into my own experience with this.

A few years back, I faced a major career change. I was moving from a job I had held for years into an entirely new field. It was a whirlwind of emotions – excitement, fear, uncertainty.

Instead of resisting the change, I decided to embrace it. I took it as an opportunity to learn new things, meet new people, and grow both personally and professionally.

Yes, there were bumps along the way, and yes, there were times when I questioned my decision.

But each challenge was a chance for me to adapt and become more resilient.

Being able to adapt to change is a powerful skill that emotionally intelligent people possess.

It allows them to navigate life’s twists and turns with confidence and agility.

So next time you’re faced with a big change, remember: it’s okay to feel uncertain or scared.

Embrace the change, adapt, and let it shape you into a stronger, more resilient person. You’ve got this!

10. Building Strong Relationships

Emotionally intelligent people are relationship wizards.

They form bonds that are deep, meaningful, and genuine.

But let’s be real – building strong relationships isn’t a walk in the park. It takes understanding, patience, and a lot of give-and-take.

These folks get that.

They understand that relationships are not about always being right or having things their way.

They’re about understanding, respecting, and valuing each other’s feelings. It’s about being there for each other through the good times and the bad.

11. Self-Driven

Here’s something emotionally intelligent people know:

Motivation has to come from within. Sure, external rewards and recognition are nice, but they’re not enough to keep you going in the long run.

These individuals are driven by their own desire to achieve their goals.

They don’t need someone else to light a fire under them – they are their own spark.

They set goals for themselves, take steps towards achieving them, and find satisfaction in their progress.

12. Good Social Skills

Last but not least, emotionally intelligent people are social butterflies.

But here’s the raw truth: Being good socially doesn’t mean always being the life of the party or the most talkative person in the room.

It means being able to read and respond to social cues.

It means knowing when to speak and when to listen.

It means being able to relate to others on a deeper level.

Being good socially is about making others feel seen, heard, and valued. And that’s something emotionally intelligent people excel at.

So there you have it!

These are some of the things that make emotionally intelligent people stand out from the crowd.

Remember, emotional intelligence is a skill that can be learned and honed over time. So why not start working on yours today? You might just find it changes your life for the better!

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Picture of Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the editor of Ideapod and founder of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 6 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you to want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.

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