To live a fulfilling life, you need emotional stability.
Keeping our emotions in check allows us to be compassionate, productive and focused on what we want to achieve in life.
Emotional stability also results in relationships that stand the test of time.
The question is:
How can we actually achieve emotional stability?
Fortunately, the great spiritual master Osho has spoken many times about the importance of emotional stability and taking responsibility for our emotions.
Below we’ll discuss some of his words of wisdom and then go over strategies we can use to implement them.
First, let’s define emotional stability.
What is emotional stability?
Emotional stability refers to an individual’s ability to remain stable and balanced. When you have emotional stability, you maintain a sense of calm even when you’re going through stressful situations. You also keep a balanced emotional composition during times of joy.
Emotional stability comes with emotional maturity. You can choose to become more emotionally stable by following the guidance offered by Osho below.
What are the signs of neuroticism?
Before we go through the key characteristics of people with emotional stability, it’s useful to define emotional stability’s polar opposite: neuroticism.
Neuroticism is a personality trait involving a long-term tendency to be in a negative or anxious emotional state.
People who are neurotic let their feelings of anxiety, fear, jealousy, guilt and other so-called “negative emotions” drive their behavior.
Neurotic people don’t experience these emotions more acutely than other people. The difference is that neurotic people are more likely to let these feelings change how they behave.
In contract, people who are emotionally stable will experience these feelings but not let them drive their behavior.
How to be emotionally stable in a relationship
The most common area in life that people want to be emotionally stable is in their relationships.
The reason is simple:
When we’re in a relationship, we are most susceptible to neurotic behaviors. We are more easily triggered by our feelings of jealousy, guilt and anxiety. The result is often neurotic behavior.
If you can master emotional stability in your relationship, you can probably master being emotionally stable in other areas of your life.
To be emotionally stable in a relationship, you need to first change the way you think about your relationship. You need to let go of the idea that your relationship defines your happiness.
The truth is this:
Your relationship doesn’t define you. It’s an important part of your life, but you have a unique identity separate from your relationship.
The key characteristics of emotionally stable people below will help you to let go of your need to define yourself in terms of your relationships with others.
4 key characteristics of people with emotional stability, according to Osho
1) Experience life in all possible ways
“Experience life in all possible ways — good-bad, bitter-sweet, dark-light, summer-winter. Experience all the dualities. Don’t be afraid of experience, because the more experience you have, the more mature you become.” — Osho
Developing maturity and character takes time. It comes from lessons, losses and triumphs. From doubts, second guesses and getting lost in the wilderness of life.
In short, to understand yourself, your emotions, your strengths, your weaknesses, you need to have varied life experiences. It’s the only way to grow and become a better human.
How can we implement this in daily life? Get out of your comfort zone and experience life in all possible ways. Go hiking, traveling or even walk a different way home. Experience life!
2) Listen to your being
“Listen to your being. It is continuously giving you hints; it is a still, small voice. It does not shout at you, that is true. And if you are a little silent you will start feeling your way. Be the person you are. Never try to be another, and you will become mature. Maturity is accepting the responsibility of being oneself, whatsoever the cost. Risking all to be oneself, that’s what maturity is all about.” — Osho
There are so many voices out there telling you who to be, how to act and what to do. It can be difficult to look deep down and understand who you truly are.
But understanding ourselves and what we truly desire in life is crucial to becoming mature and emotionally stable.
How we can we understand who we are? One of the most powerful to know yourself is through journaling. Start writing about how you feel, what you want and what’s important to you in life. If do this for 30 minutes a day, then before you know it, you’ll understand who you are and what you really want in life. It will bring clarity to your thinking.
3) Rise into love
“A mature person does not fall in love, he or she rises in love. Only immature people fall; they stumble and fall down in love.” — Osho
When it comes to love, we often describe it as “falling into love”. But Osho says this is actually emotional immaturity. Instead, a mature person rises into love. They do so in a way where there are no strings attached and they are able to grow together. Osho explains it here:
“A mature person has the integrity to stand alone. And when a mature person gives love, he or she gives without any strings attached to it. When two mature persons are in love, one of the great paradoxes of life happens, one of the most beautiful phenomena: they are together and yet tremendously alone. They are together so much that they are almost one. Two mature persons in love help each other to become more free. There is no politics involved, no diplomacy, no effort to dominate. Only freedom and love.”
4) Don’t be afraid of negative emotions
“Sadness gives depth. Happiness gives height. Sadness gives roots. Happiness gives branches. Happiness is like a tree going into the sky, and sadness is like the roots going down into the womb of the earth. Both are needed, and the higher a tree goes, the deeper it goes, simultaneously. The bigger the tree, the bigger will be its roots. In fact, it is always in proportion. That’s its balance.” — Osho
Without sadness, we can’t have happiness. Everything is balance. So many of us try to avoid negative emotions because we don’t like to experience them. But the truth is, ignoring them and avoiding them eventually makes them worse.
How can we accept our emotions? The most powerful way to do this is to become an observer of your emotions. When you identify as the observer of what’s going on in your mind and body, you can relax and simply accept what’s going on. You can talk to yourself the same way you would talk to a dear friend who is feeling underappreciated. You can give yourself compassion.