Figuring out whether a man likes you can be just as tricky in adulthood as it was during your high school days.
Especially if you already have butterflies in your stomach whenever you see him and can’t think straight.
Some men are open about their intentions. They slide into your DMs, flirt, ask you out, send you flowers, the whole shebang.
Others are less forthcoming – so much so that you might overlook their less obvious efforts to catch your eye.
On that note, here are 8 easy-to-miss signs a man is secretly infatuated with you, according to psychology.
Stop trying to decipher his texts for a minute and see if any of the below apply.
1) He seems nervous whenever you’re around
You probably figured out sometime during your early years that you get nervous around people you have a crush on.
You’re not the only one.
If a man goes from self-confident to self-conscious whenever you’re in his proximity, it’s probably because he finds you attractive.
According to psychology, this nervousness we exhibit can actually enhance our chances of attaining the mate of our choice.
At least the embarrassment isn’t for nothing.
So, if you suspect that a man fancies you in secret, pay attention to his demeanor.
If he’s nervous, there’s a good chance he will:
- Stutter or stumble over his words because he has difficulty articulating his thoughts clearly
- Blush (how cute is that?)
- Talk too much in an effort to overcompensate for being nervous
- Fidget (tap his feet, play with his phone, and so on)
Does that sound like anyone you know?
Alternatively, if you’re dealing with a confident type, he might go overboard to make sure that you’re on the same page.
That brings us to the next point on the list.
2) He mirrors your body language
Two people who are into each other will sit in the same way and copy each other’s physical gestures.
Mirroring is believed to foster rapport, empathy, and a sense of connection between individuals.
You can figure out if a guy is doing this by analyzing his body language.
Does he lean in when you lean in? Tilt his head when you do? Raise his eyebrows just as you raised yours?
Then he might be trying to make you feel safe and create intimacy, which are signs he’s interested.
Mirroring isn’t limited to gestures either.
If a man is secretly infatuated with you, he might adjust his speaking pace to match yours and incorporate phrases or words you use often into his own speech.
In even better news, mirroring can facilitate smoother communication and interaction between two people.
In other words, you two are on the right path.
3) He tries to impress you
Unsuccessful attempts of men trying to impress me in the past include:
- Showing me a magic trick (I hate magic)
- Buying me an overpriced cocktail I didn’t want (it was gross)
- Bragging about his expensive phone (I literally couldn’t care less)
- Going on a rant about his vast knowledge of craft beers (okay)
I know that men are usually well-intentioned when they do this, so I like to keep an open mind.
(Except when it comes to magic. That’s where I draw the line.)
Like everyone, men occasionally seek validation from others, specifically from someone they are romantically interested in.
When a guy tries to impress you, he does it because he craves your approval and hopes to relish the positive attention he hopes you’ll send his way.
He may feel compelled to demonstrate his competence, intelligence, humor, or any other desirable trait to prove his worth as a partner.
Underneath it all, connection is what he’s actually itching for.
Something to keep in mind.
4) He gives you subtle compliments
A player will tell you directly how gorgeous, wonderful, angelic, clever you are.
A guy who secretly likes you, meanwhile, will be less obvious about it.
He’ll still compliment you but in a sneakier way.
Subtle compliments allow him to gauge your reaction and assess whether you reciprocate his feelings before revealing his true intentions.
They serve as an indirect way for him to express his attraction without explicitly stating his romantic interest.
What does this look like?
He might tell you that you have a fun vibe, acknowledge your kindness, or gush about your accomplishments.
In short, he’ll focus less on your looks and more on your personality.
Because he took the time to notice it, that is.
5) He remembers small details about you
According to psychology, deep listening is the cornerstone of a solid relationship.
Not only that but when someone is attracted to another person, they naturally become more interested in them and what they have to say.
This heightened interest leads to greater attentiveness and active listening.
Following this logic, if a guy surprises you by remembering your birthday or a small thing you shared weeks ago, he’s likely crushing.
Remembering small details proves a genuine desire to connect with you on a deeper level.
By noticing the little things, he shows that he values your thoughts, experiences, and individuality.
Additionally, it allows him to tailor his interactions with you in a more meaningful way.
In short, he’s trying to win you over.
6) He teases you
Teasing is a way to show care and affection.
Psychologists point out that men are less verbal about their emotions, so they use a lighthearted joke or playful jab as a way to connect without having to address their feelings.
Teasing is a fun way to spark interaction. It adds excitement and intrigue to your conversations.
Plus, it can be an effective test for your compatibility. If the banter is strong, a potential relationship might also be solid.
Here’s how a man might tease you to express interest:
- He pokes fun at your quirks (without being mean)
- He references previous interactions in an attempt to establish inside jokes
- He light-heartedly challenges your opinions on certain topics
- He gives you a nickname, adding a touch of sweetness to the teasing dynamic
Remember that teasing is supposed to be breezy and enjoyable. It comes from a good place, and it’s clear there is no malicious intent behind the remarks.
A guy who likes you doesn’t insult, disrespect, or belittle you.
Don’t confuse rudeness for affection.
Context, as always, is key.
7) He engages with you on social media
A man who is secretly infatuated with you might use social media to keep in touch and show his interest.
He’ll react to your stories, like your selfies, comment on your status updates, and add you on multiple platforms.
He also shares content he thinks resonates with you, to keep the conversation going.
There is no science behind this, but he might also use more emojis when he chats with you than on average.
I’m not sure how you could objectively assess that, but I’m putting it out there.
I had to tell a couple of ex-boyfriends to use emojis when chatting because I always thought they were mad at me.
Previous to that, their emoji use ranged from sparse to non-existent.
A smirking face or heart-eyes speak volumes.
8) He offers to help
Finally, if a man is secretly infatuated with you, he may offer to help you as a way to express his feelings in a subtle manner.
He wants to show that he’s attentive to your needs, even if it’s in small ways.
For example, he offers to assist you with practical tasks such as moving furniture, fixing something around the house, or running errands.
Alternatively, he provides advice or guidance on matters that matter to you, like career decisions or personal goals.
And if you’re going through a tough time, he lends a listening ear and attempts to cheer you up.
Maybe he’s just nice, sure.
Or maybe he’s smitten.
Bottom line
If you suspect that the guy you’re crushing on secretly likes you back, find more opportunities to spend time together, preferably away from prying eyes.
Suggest going on a non-date date to assess your chemistry.
You can volunteer together for the same community event, see a concert of a band you both like, or browse books at a bookstore.
Alternatively, you can “accidentally” bump into him at his favorite coffee shop.
Even fate needs a little push sometimes; if you know what I mean.
