Did your ex appear in your dream all of a sudden? Mine did and it feels weird.
So whether you’re single or in a relationship, you’re not alone in this slumber-induced phenomenon.
Old flames we don’t talk to anymore can be emotionally confusing and often leave us wondering: does dreaming about them mean anything?
Let’s find out the reasons why you keep dreaming about your ex you don’t talk to anymore – and what you can do about this.
1) You have “unfinished business”
This is especially true if your breakup happened recently.
But before you panic, it doesn’t mean you want your ex back nor is it a sign that you still have feelings for the person.
Psychologist Marion Rudin Frank, EdD, who specializes in dream analysis and relationships, shares that “those feelings are probably not about your ex at all.”
Those dreams could mean that there’s a void in life that needs to be filled. It could be the closeness you once had with your friends, the confidence you need to boost, or anything else.
And its significance depends largely on your situation as our dreams are personal, symbolic, and specific to you.
2) You regret the loss of the relationship
Maybe you’re still not over the fact that the relationship is over and you’re still grieving the loss.
Even when the break-up is good for both of you, it could be that you’re filled with guilt for breaking the other person’s heart.
Give yourself time to grieve. To heal, make an effort to understand what went wrong in your relationship. This is one way to be truly healed and move on.
Let these coping strategies help too:
- Feel and express all the emotions – and these them with your support system
- Use your downtime moments to connect with yourself
- Spend time doing things that make you feel good about yourself
- Focus on what you value and learn from the person and the relationship
- Accept that loss leads the way to new changes
3) Unresolved feelings toward your ex or someone else
Now don’t freak out.
Having dreams about an ex can be disconcerting but it doesn’t necessarily mean they are romantic.
Maybe in your mind, you’re still trying to fix how your relationship ended. It could be that the way things ended between the two of you makes you feel unsettled.
This could also be your desire to have clean breaks with the other relationships in your life like a family member, friend, or colleague.
4) You’re dealing with a past trauma
Our subconscious mind is working through whatever unresolved traumatic event you still carry in your life.
These unresolved issues could come from your childhood or previous relationships. You may not be aware of it, but these traumas are likely to follow you from one relationship to another relationship.
For instance, if you experienced domestic violence or if a past flame cheated on you, you may have to work on your trust issues.
And this means that the appearance of your ex in your dreams is telling you to let go of the past and take steps towards removing those traumatic events.
These strategies will help you to start dealing with it:
- Face and acknowledge your feelings head-on
- Instead of isolating yourself, reach out to your family or friends you can trust
- Seek help from a mental health expert
- Get out, move, and do gentle exercises
- Do whatever makes you feel good and happy
- Meditate to help ease your mind
5) It holds the key to healing
Dreaming about a person from your past you don’t talk to anymore can be the way for you to heal.
Swiss psychological pioneer Carl Jung shares that our dreams carry information that can heal and revive us back to mental and emotional health.
Those dreams can be a reminder for you to patch up your relationship with your loved ones, to be more compassionate, or to forgive someone who has wronged you.
And in a new study made by the University of California, Berkeley researchers, it was discovered that “during REM sleep the brain processes emotional experiences” and helps heal painful memories.
Dreaming of your ex asking for forgiveness is a good thing. It’s a good way to see yourself moving past something that has wronged you.
6) You feel annoyed with others
If there are negative feelings you’ve pushed aside before you sleep, that could be the reason why your ex appears in your dream.
For instance, you got annoyed with a coworker for taking credit for work you’ve done – then you brushed off what you feel. But your subconscious sensed those feelings of annoyance and betrayal.
So dreaming about your ex is an association with the negative feelings you’ve felt.
7) It’s about you
There’s a chance that dreaming about your ex isn’t about your ex at all, but a part of you.
Certified dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg says that “Whatever’s going on in the dream is going to reflect not necessarily [what’s going on] between you and your ex, but what’s going on with you.”
And this could mean a lot of things such as:
- You miss a part of yourself when you’re still together
- You gave up too much of yourself and you seek to get it back
- You’ve been neglecting yourself
- You’re unhappy with something in your life
- You miss the sweetness and happiness you had experienced before
No matter what it could be, it can’t hurt to analyze your feelings and behaviors during the time you were with your ex.
According to Marion Frank, a psychologist specializing in dream analysis, “Dreams are like an art piece of your emotions and represent all parts of you. What we see and experience in our dreams might not always be real, but the emotions attached to these experiences are.”
8) You’re afraid of the hurt that follows
If your ex has been guest-starring in your dreams, there’s probably something that you fear or worry about in your new relationship.
Maybe you’re scared of loving too much and being hurt the same way again.
Or if you’re having the same problems with your current partner, you’re having thoughts that your relationship is going down the same path.
While it’s normal to fear trusting someone else after you’ve been betrayed and experienced too much heartache, you have to overcome this.
Never let those pains and fears trap you and prevent you from loving and living your life to the fullest.
It’s time that you let go of your limiting thoughts and regain control of your life. Leave the pain, the hurt, and everything else behind.
9) This person signifies something significant
When we dream, the people, places, or things we see carry symbolic meanings. Seeing your ex in your dream may symbolize a specific time in your life.
To understand what it could represent, ask yourself this question: “What memories or feelings does the dream bring to you? Do you feel annoyed, inspired, or worried?”
You know yourself better. Going through what it means will help you work through and process what’s currently happening in your life.
It could also represent something that you wish you had more of or have too much of. And there’s a huge chance that it has nothing to do with your ex.
You will come to see that those people and places you see in your dreams represent parts of your psyche.
10) You crave change in your current relationship
Even if you’re happy with your new relationship, there are things that you still desire.
Probably, there are things that your former flame did that you wish your current partner was providing. Or perhaps you want to spend more time together.
So when you dream about an ex, your dream is reminding you to think and do something for your current situation.
Your dreams are shining a light on your unmet needs and desires so you can talk about them with the person you’re seeing right now.
Don’t worry as there are several ways how you can bring spice and excitement into your relationship
11) The dream expresses your desires
Your subconscious keeps visualizing something from deep within you.
It’s like your dream is showing you what’s going on in your heart to help you take action or make better decisions when you wake up.
Think less literally here. These desires aren’t automatically about wanting the person back in your life or getting back together. It’s just that your subconscious is trying to tell you something about the situation and connection you had with them.
Again this isn’t about your ex being part of your life, but a whole plethora of things that the person represents.
In some instances, those dreams signify what you wish for in your current situation or what you desire in a relationship.
12) You seek closure
Our unconscious mind is a strange place as it stores those memories that we think we have long forgotten.
So if you thought you’ve given the past closure (or perhaps you’ve convinced yourself you didn’t need it anymore), your unconscious mind tells you differently.
And having dreams about your ex indicates that you have unhealed wounds from the past that you need to look into.
Did you truly feel at peace with how your relationship ended? Have you let go of your past hurts and heartbreaks?
Maybe you’ve regretted saying or not saying something or wished things happened differently.
But this doesn’t mean you have to reach out to your ex to get the ‘closure’ you need. You can resolve this and work on closure on your own.
13) It represents you – breaking up with yourself
An ex whom you don’t talk to anymore represents different aspects of you and your life. It’s your mind’s way of telling you that maybe, you’re repressing a side of yourself.
Your dream is telling you that you need to get in touch with your true self and who you are.
What you need to do is to leave who you were – the past version of you – during that time of your life. It’s part of the memory.
The moment you do this will be the start of an epic search to find out the person you are.
You don’t have to reconnect with your ex or jump into a new relationship at the moment as this will complicate the issue further.
Instead, strengthening the relationship you have with yourself for the new “you” is yet to be determined.
14) You’re worried about getting into a new relationship
Having dreams of your ex could signify that you’re holding back from dating or loving someone again.
Are you afraid that you’ll get hurt once again? Are you anxious about getting to know someone on a romantic level? Or maybe you’re worried that you’re comparing your current partner with your ex?
Your dreams could mean that your psyche is ensuring that you’ll meet “The One” you’re destined to be with and ensure the success of your new relationship.
All you have to do now is to cope with relationship anxiety -and here’s how can you cope with this:
- Take control of your emotions and let things happen as they are
- Start accepting yourself for who you are – make self-love your key
- Get yourself busy to help get your mind off those worries
- Build your self-esteem by doing things you’re good at
- Leave the past behind so you can live and enjoy the present
15) You’re looking for answers
Everyone has dreams, and some may be symbolic reflections of our memories. In your dream about an ex, you are likely exploring unresolved feelings from the past and asking yourself questions to gain clarity into that relationship.
Sure, you may have unresolved issues. You may also subconsciously want closure.
But sometimes, these dreams have nothing to do with the past; they’re just a reflection of your current situation.
Here’s the thing: the world of romance has so many paths that may leave you uncertain. It can be challenging to know which path leads to true happiness.
Your subconscious could also be sending you signals that your current relationships are lacking something. So if you’re dreaming about your ex, it may mean there’s a void in need of filling!
Whatever it is, remember that you’re in control, and the answers are out there if you’re willing to look hard enough.
What to do when you dream of your ex?
The dreams you have aren’t what they seem to be, but you can analyze them to understand what they mean to your life.
Usually, your ex staring into your dream carries a significant message that you need to know right now. As the past shapes who we are, use the lessons from that time to make our current or future relationships healthier and happier.
See those dreams as an opportunity to learn about yourself and to grow as a better person.
Keeping a dream journal helps too.
As soon as you wake up, write down everything you remember about the dream you have. Jot down what happened in your dream, how it made you feel, and what you feel about it.
In time, you’ll get to see a clearer picture of what those dreams are urging you to think about.
Now, if your inner voice is telling you there’s no way forward with your ex, trust your gut and listen to it.
Take the power back and put an end to those troubling dreams. Find the best way to get your closure–now follow through on it.
However, if you pretty much want back into their arms, then the guidance of a professional will surely help.
Brad Browning, an expert at helping couples move past their issues and reconnect on a genuine level made an excellent free video in which he reveals his tried and tested methods.
So if you want a shot at getting back together with your ex or seek help in avoiding making the same mistakes you made in the past, then you need to watch relationship expert Brad Browning’s free video right now.
Final thoughts
Our dreams may represent much more than fleeting moments.
They can be a powerful source of insight, unlocking doors to parts of our lives we failed to see before. Exploring them might seem intimidating but it’s an opportunity for us to gain deeper self-knowledge and take control over our fate.
It’s up to you to decide how your dream about an ex will end – with closure or with a second chance.
Remember, the most meaningful life choices are the ones rooted in self-improvement and joy. They should align with your goals and the path that is right for you.
So don’t be intimidated by change. Embrace it as an opportunity for growth!
Besides, life is too precious to waste away in regret.
