I used to believe that if I just added the right elements into my life—more to-do lists, more social gatherings, more productivity apps—then I’d finally feel at ease.
In reality, peace came when I let go of the baggage that was weighing me down. If you’re tired of carrying unnecessary burdens (both tangible and emotional), this article is for you.
Below, I’ll share seven practices that helped me find balance. While the first six focus on what to remove from your life, the seventh is a positive ritual I’ve adopted to fill the newly created space.
After all, once you clear out the noise, you want something meaningful to replace it. Let’s dive right in.
1. Stop chasing external validation
When I was growing up, my parents’ divorce was a seismic shift in my life. It left me constantly questioning my own worth.
As a young adult, I looked for validation in all the wrong places—social media likes, applause for big projects, and the approval of bosses or peers. I thought it would fill the void I felt, but it never did.
It wasn’t until I began to explore my emotional health—partly inspired by reading articles on Psychology Today—that I understood how my early experiences shaped this craving for outside approval. I realized I couldn’t change the past, but I could change how much I let it define me.
Why this needs to go:
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Chasing external validation is like running on a never-ending treadmill. No matter how fast you run, the finish line keeps moving.
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It fosters anxiety, people-pleasing behaviors, and a chronic sense of “not good enough.”
A helpful shift:
Try journaling in a private notebook (or a locked digital app) where you celebrate moments that made you proud—regardless of who saw them. The act of self-validation can be surprisingly healing. With practice, you’ll find yourself needing less outside applause to feel worthy.
2. Let go of digital addictions
I still remember a particular Thanksgiving dinner when my step-son politely asked me to put my phone away. It was a punch to the gut, but also an important wake-up call.
The irony wasn’t lost on me: I had left my career in software development to study technology’s impact on human behavior, yet I was the one glued to my device.
Why this needs to go:
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Our digital habits can erode real-world connections and skyrocket stress levels.
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According to a Pew Research Center study, excessive screen time correlates with decreased mental well-being, especially for young adults.
A helpful shift:
I’ve started scheduling “tech sabbaticals” each evening. I silence notifications and place my phone in another room. During that time, I focus on a single offline activity—reading a book, helping my step-son with homework, or simply having a face-to-face conversation.
If I need a reminder, I leave a sticky note on my desk that says, “Be Here Now.” It’s my nudge to stay grounded in the present moment rather than drifting into digital distractions.
Reflective question: Have you ever counted how many times you pick up your phone in an hour? You might be shocked at the tally—try it for a day, and see if that awareness alone prompts a shift.
3. Clear out toxic relationships
Here’s a hard truth I learned the long way: not everyone in your circle is cheering you on. Sometimes, certain people bring more stress than support.
This isn’t about labeling someone as “bad.” It’s about recognizing if a relationship constantly drains your emotional reserves.
Why this needs to go:
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Consistently negative interactions can sabotage self-esteem, motivation, and mental clarity.
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Verywell Mind notes that being around toxic behaviors—like constant criticism or manipulation—can contribute to anxiety and depression.
A helpful shift:
I began by setting boundaries, which, surprisingly, some people respected. Those who didn’t were the ones I needed to distance myself from. It’s not always an easy or quick process. But I’ve come to see that pruning toxic branches is necessary for the rest of the tree (a.k.a. your well-being) to flourish.
4. Stop overcommitting to stay “busy”
We live in a culture that equates being busy with being successful. I was guilty of it myself—saying “yes” to every social invite, work opportunity, or volunteer project.
Looking back, I can see it was partly fueled by the fear of missing out, but also by the belief that busyness equaled productivity and, therefore, validation.
Why this needs to go:
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Overcommitment leads to burnout, resentment, and half-hearted participation.
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Tim Berners-Lee, the inventor of the World Wide Web, once said, “We need diversity of thought in the world to face the new challenges.” But it’s hard to bring original ideas to the table when you’re juggling too many tasks at once.
A helpful shift:
Start by carefully vetting new commitments. Ask, “Does this align with my core values?” If the answer is no—or if you simply don’t have the mental bandwidth—politely decline. This simple practice freed up both my time and mental space, allowing me to bring my best self to the things I genuinely cared about.
5. Ditch the need for constant comparison
Ever scroll through social media and feel a sinking sensation that you’re not measuring up? Yeah, me too. For a while, I was comparing everything—from my job title and relationship status to the number of likes on my posts—with other people’s carefully curated highlights. It was draining, and it made me lose sight of my own journey.
Why this needs to go:
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Comparison is a thief of joy. It keeps you perpetually looking at others instead of appreciating where you are.
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Studies featured in Forbes suggest that social comparison can fuel feelings of inadequacy and amplify anxiety.
A helpful shift:
When I notice I’m spiraling into a comparison trap, I do a quick mental shift: I identify something I’m grateful for in that exact moment. Maybe it’s the comfort of my living room, the laughter of my step-son, or just a cup of hot tea.
This small practice brings me back to what actually matters: the life I’m living, not someone else’s highlight reel.
6. Let go of perfectionism
Growing up in a fractured household, I felt a strong urge to keep everything “perfect” so things wouldn’t fall apart. I over-planned and over-analyzed every detail, thinking it would bring me a sense of control. Instead, it brought anxiety and a fear of failure.
Why this needs to go:
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Perfectionism can become a self-imposed cage, stifling creativity and pushing joy out of the picture.
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Shoshana Zuboff, a scholar known for her work on the digital age, points out that the quest for perfection often collides with the messy reality of human life. We can’t code ourselves into being flawlessly happy—it’s an unattainable standard.
A helpful shift:
I try to embrace mistakes as part of the growth process. For instance, I’ve taken up amateur photography, particularly during my hiking trips. At first, I wanted every shot to be gallery-worthy.
Now, I simply enjoy capturing moments—even if some photos are blurry or overexposed. The point is the experience, not the perfection.
7. Adopt a weekly “reset ritual”
Alright, so this one isn’t something to remove—it’s something to add once you’ve cleared out the five stressors above.
But don’t worry, I’m not contradicting the title. Think of this as the necessary step that fills the emptiness once you’ve decluttered your mind and your surroundings.
My ritual:
Every Sunday evening, I set aside an hour for what I call my “reset ritual.” I brew a cup of chamomile tea, put on calming music, and sit down with my journal. I ask myself:
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What went well this week?
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What was challenging?
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How can I improve for next week?
If there’s something particularly weighing on me—like a conversation that went south or a lingering project—I jot it down. Seeing it in black and white clarifies what can be done next. Sometimes I realize there’s nothing more to do except accept the situation.
Why this helps:
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It creates a structured pause in a hectic schedule.
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It aligns future actions with your goals and values, ensuring that new, unnecessary clutter doesn’t sneak back in.
A quick tip:
If journaling isn’t your style, you might try a walking meditation or a low-key family meeting where everyone shares one highlight and one challenge from the week. The point is to engage in some form of reflection and recalibration.
Final thoughts
Clearing out the mental and emotional clutter isn’t a one-time spring cleaning. It’s an ongoing process of reevaluation—constantly asking yourself, “Is this helping or hurting?”
Yes, adding certain habits (like a weekly reset ritual) can be beneficial. But the true game-changer lies in letting go of whatever no longer serves you: external validation, digital obsessions, toxic relationships, overcommitment, comparison, and perfectionism.
I’ve experienced firsthand how transformative it can be to release things that weigh you down. It opens up more space for genuine relationships, creative endeavors, and the kind of peace that isn’t dependent on any external factor.
As you embark on this journey, remember: it’s okay to evolve and to release what once felt essential. Peace is often found not in the things we add, but in the burdens we finally decide to set free.
