Okay, so you’re not where you were hoping to be at this point in life. Perhaps it’s time to objectively look at what went wrong along the way and what you can work on NOW.
And I mean, right now – starting at this moment.
But first, let’s look back a bit to find the underlying reasons you aren’t reaching your potential in life.
1) Lack of clear goals
The number one mistake many underachievers make is this one.
Without specific goals, you lack direction and purpose. Setting specific goals you can measure and that have a set time to fulfill them helps you chart a precise path forward.
The beauty of this is that you always know your destination and how to get there.
But to set goals, you have to know what you want to achieve in life. Is it more money, a degree, starting a family…
To accomplish that, you’ll have to drop this next habit that’s holding you down.
2) Resistance to change
Change is necessary for growth. There are no if, buts, and maybes about it.
When you stay too comfortable, you’re basically limiting your growth. You have to push yourself to step outside your comfort zone regularly, as this is where real personal development emerges.
Embrace change as an opportunity to evolve and adapt, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.
Take smaller risks to get a taste, and then work on improving yourself daily.
3) You have a fear of failure
The reason many people resist change is because they fear failure and what others will say about them.
The irony is that many people don’t really have much to lose, yet they still don’t make the necessary efforts to step out of their comfort zone.
I know this fear too well. It can paralyze you, making you avoid risks or trying new things.
But once you embrace failure as a stepping stone to success, you can overcome this barrier. The more you fail, the more comfortable you’ll be when it happens.
Just don’t burn all your bridges.
4) You lack discipline
Without discipline, it’s hard to set consistent routines and stick to them. Building self-discipline involves setting clear boundaries, prioritizing tasks, and gradually creating good habits.
When you decide on something, stick to it even though it gets tough and you want to give up each day.
Trust the process and get a mentor if you can, or at least an accountability group that will help you keep your eyes on the prize.
When faced with temptations, remind yourself of your goals and the benefits of staying disciplined.
What helped me the most was visualizing success. Imagine the positive outcomes of your disciplined efforts. Visualization can improve motivation and reinforce your commitment.
It sure did for me!
5) You’re procrastinating
Many goals, dreams, and projects died because of procrastination. It delays your progress and creates unnecessary stress.
Understanding the underlying reasons for your procrastination and developing strategies to overcome it is essential.
Sometimes we just lack some motivation and a kick in the butt. That’s what mentors and accountability groups are for.
But also, a public spotlight will help. Announce to the world or at least your friends and family what your intentions are. 9 times out of 10, this will be more than enough to keep you going.
6) You’re constantly comparing yourself to others
Constantly comparing yourself to others is a problem. A big one. There will always be people more successful than us.
Imagine driving on the Autobahn (German highway without speed restrictions) going 120 (mph or kph, it doesn’t matter). That’s really fast, isn’t it?
But someone is approaching you. They’re getting closer and closer, and you quickly have to move to the middle lane because they’re driving 180.
And now, they must move too because someone behind them is going 200!
No matter how fast you’re going, there’s always someone that’s going to be faster than you.
Focus on your own progress and celebrate your achievements, regardless of how they measure up to others.
7) You have an imposter syndrome
One consequence of comparing yourself to others is you’re likely to get imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome makes you doubt your abilities and feel like a fraud, even when evidence shows your competence. It can hold you back from pursuing challenges because you fear being exposed as inadequate and flawed.
Even some of the most successful people in history suffered from this.
Often praised as one of the greatest actresses of her generation, Meryl Streep has shared that she struggles with doubts about her abilities.
She once mentioned moments where she thought, “Why would anyone want to see me again in a movie? And I don’t know how to act anyway, so why am I doing this?”
8) Unhealthy relationships
Toxic or codependent relationships can drain your emotional and mental energy, leaving you with little capacity to pursue your goals and dreams.
And I’m not only talking about romantic relationships. Most parents give all their energy to their kids, leaving a little bit left for their own passions.
Look, I get it. I have a wonderful wife and a great and energy-sucking kid. I won’t lie and tell you I haven’t neglected or put many other aspects of my life on hold.
But slowly and one by one, I’m bringing them back in.
9) You can’t say “no”
This. This is something you need to fix asap if that’s your problem.
Saying yes to every request can spread you too thin and leave you with little time for self-improvement.
You need to learn to set healthy boundaries and say no when necessary and not good for you.
Whether it’s your boss asking you to stay late regularly or your friends pressuring you into drinking one more beer, you must grow a spine.
There are ways you can become more assertive and unafraid of saying no, and I have a news flash for you. Once you say it for the first time, it gets much easier.
10) Cultural or societal expectations are holding you down
Another big and uncomfortable reason why some people never reach their potential. They live in a constraining society, social circle, neighborhood, family, etc.
Societal norms and cultural expectations can easily pressure you into following paths that don’t align with your true potential or passions.
For example, you come from a family of doctors. Even though you can’t stand touching squishy things with your hands, they’re pressuring you into becoming a proctologist.
Granted, there are worse things than becoming a well-paid and respected doctor, but if that’s not your passion, your life might be miserable.
Breaking free from these expectations requires courage and self-awareness more than anything else.
11) You’re not continuously learning
Failing to learn new skills can and does lead to stagnation, dissatisfaction, and even lower quality of life.
Commit to lifelong learning through formal education, reading, online courses, or hands-on experiences.
Find new and exciting things to get into. That way, you’ll never get bored and will be a treasure trove of information.
Staying in one job or position for 20+ years is long gone. It’s been proven repeatedly that if you don’t change your job every couple of years, your employers take advantage of you by not raising your salary nearly as much as you’d get moving to another company.
Never settle for this. Why earn less money for the same or similar work? It doesn’t make any sense.
12) You’re surrounded by negative influences
Surrounding yourself with negativity drains your motivation and enthusiasm. I’ve had friends that were constantly moaning and negative.
And guess what? I became the same! Nothing was ever right; everyone and everything was against me. It was never my fault.
To get ahead in life, seek out positive, supportive people who uplift and inspire you. Friends are great, but not when they’re one of the reasons you haven’t reached your full potential.
13) You have unresolved emotional baggage
I could go on and on, as there are many big and small reasons why you aren’t successful – whatever that word means to you.
But I’ll just mention this last reason because I think it’s pretty important.
It’s past traumas.
Think of it as a backpack filled with heavy rocks you carry everywhere you go. How would you feel if you suddenly let go of it by the side of the road? It would feel amazing, right?
What do you think? Did I hit the mark with some of these reasons? Did this article get your mind working and thinking about how to improve?
If you don’t know where to start, do these 9 things if you really want to change your life.