The 16 most important deal breakers in any relationship

Are you tired of being in relationships that always end in heartbreak and disappointment? Do you want to know the red flags to watch out for before things go too far? 

Join me as I delve into the most important deal breakers in any relationship. From dishonesty to lack of communication, these aspects can make or break a relationship

Don’t wait until it’s too late – read on to find out what you need to know to ensure your relationships are built to last!

1) Disrespect 

Respect is the fundamental aspect of any healthy relationship. If one partner consistently fails to show respect for the other, it can lead to feelings of hurt and anger that can ultimately lead to the end of the relationship.

It’s the root cause of many deal breakers on this list. 

And, although you can often judge how good the person is in the way they treat others, sometimes it’s all a facade and a show that the person is performing in front of us and other people. 

In other words, once you see a glimpse of disrespect from your partner, know that it may get worse and lead to the next point.  

2) Abuse 

OK, let me list some of the most apparent deal breakers now. 

No one should endure abuse by anyone, let alone the person they’re together with. 

I can’t even imagine what that would look like. Yet, unfortunately, some of my closest friends and family members were in abusive relationships that have undoubtedly changed them and some of their kids. 

I don’t need to explain this further, and I doubt any abusers are reading this. Let’s move on to another deal breaker. 

3) Infidelity 

For me personally, infidelity is an instant deal breaker. I know that some, dare I say, many people tolerate their partner’s cheating, but that’s really something that they shouldn’t take lightly and should draw a line in the sand. 

If they cheated once (if you believe them), they will probably cheat in the future too. Besides, you’ll never ever sleep comfortably anymore when they’re not beside you, as your brain will keep returning to that. 

People often stay together “for the kids” when one partner cheats. I know some couples that have made it work out in the end, but I also know of even more instances where that was not the case. 

4) Dishonesty

Cheating and lying go hand in hand. If your partner constantly lies to you, can you ever really trust them? 

It might start innocently with so-called white lies, but if the pace picks up and the lies escalate, you’re suddenly in big trouble.  

Related: Stay single until you find someone with these 7 traits

5) Self-neglect

Is there anything worse than being around a slobby, stinky person? I don’t ride so much on public transport these days, but I can tell you that most people don’t take good care of themselves. 

If your partner starts seriously neglecting themselves, it’s time to speak up before it gets even worse. And let me tell you, it can always get worse. 

6) Lack of communication 

dark empaths 1 The 16 most important deal breakers in any relationship

I feel that we’re at the worst point in time when it comes to communicating with others, even the people closest to us. 

Everyone’s in their own little bubble, doing their own thing. We’re constantly browsing on our phones and don’t even feel the need to open our mouths to say something. 

Let me ask you something? Are you dreading picking up your phone when someone is calling you? Are you mumbling to yourself – What do they need now? Can’t they just text or email? Exactly. 

If you’re struggling to communicate with your significant other, it’s time to talk frankly and work on the why and how to improve it. 

Maybe implementing no-phone evenings could do the trick?

7) Conflict

How often do you argue with your partner? Do you think you’re doing it too much? 

Constructive arguing can be a healthy valve for the two of you to let off some steam. 

However, if you’re doing it constantly and still can’t resolve your issues, it means that the relationship is going in the wrong direction, and that conflict could become the deal breaker for you.  

8) Indifference

On the other hand, if you aren’t fighting AT ALL, it could mean that the two of you just don’t care about each other anymore or that one person is always complying with the other person’s wishes. Neither of which is good for the future of the relationship. 

Of course, I’m talking about the period when the relationship’s honeymoon phase is over. Barely anyone fights at the beginning when we’re still head over heels for each other.  

9) Different life goals 

Have you ever been in a relationship where one person wanted to live life and see the world, and the other had no such inclinations? Well, I have. 

That’s how I know that if two people have vastly different goals or priorities in life, it can make it difficult for them to build a future together. 

For example, if one of you wants children and the other doesn’t, it can be a significant source of conflict that can ultimately lead to the end of the relationship. 

10) Money 

Money, money, money. When you don’t have any, it’s not good, but then if you have too much, it can also ruin you. 

It’s also one of the reasons why many relationships fail. Having no money is a major stressor for most people, leading to constant fighting and bickering. 

Financial advisors will tell you that the key to averting money from ruining your relationship is to turn arguments about it into productive conversations about long-term and short-term spending and savings goals.

Additionally, if one partner is spending the cash carelessly, it can ruin the whole family financially. 

This brings us to the next very important point. 

11) Addiction 

If you’ve never suffered from addiction, you probably have no idea how agonizing it is. You can also count yourself lucky. 

Most addictions don’t only affect one person, they affect spouses, kids, parents, siblings, friends, etc. It’s a real-life circle of doom.  

The proper way of dealing with it is to try and help the person. However, if they get violent or fail to acknowledge they have a serious problem, it’s time to cut ties.

Of course, I’m talking about serious addictions here and not about someone who loves collecting R/C cars or something. 

12) Lack of intimacy

We all know how important intimacy is. And I’m not talking only about sex, although that’s vital for a healthy relationship, too. 

I’m talking about any and all kinds of affection that need to be present from the start and continue until the end. 

But remember that too much affection can also lead to a distinctive deal breaker. Here’s what I’m talking about.

13) Jealousy and possessiveness 

signs youre dating the wrong woman The 16 most important deal breakers in any relationship

Although I’ve never been with someone who is overly jealous and even possessive, there were times when some of our talks led to the other person having retroactive jealousy

Oh man, it sounds funny now, but I can assure you it wasn’t at that moment. 

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, retroactive jealousy is when a person is jealous about your previous relationships. 

In a nutshell, any kind of excessive jealousy is a huge red flag and can should lead to serious talks and even the end of a relationship if not dealt with properly. 

14) Trust issues 

Jealousy ultimately stems from distrusting the person you’re with.

If you downright don’t trust them when they’re not around you, and vice versa, you can’t have a healthy relationship, which could be on borrowed time.

15) Appreciation 

Do you really appreciate the person you’re with? Do they appreciate you? Are you taking each other for granted? 

If the answers are no, no, yes – I’m sorry, but it may be too late for your relationship.

However, you can try and turn it around by doing the following:

  • Practice gratitude
  • Show affection
  • Avoid complacency
  • Communicate openly
  • Avoid falling into traditional gender roles

And we’ve come to the last relationship deal breaker on my list. 

16) Cultural differences

As much as we’re alike, we are also very different from each other. 

Let’s face it, cultural, religious, or ethnic differences can be a source of tension in any relationship, no matter how much of a taboo this issue is lately. 

If two people have extensively different cultural backgrounds, it can be challenging to understand each other’s perspectives and build a future together. 

Many relationships have failed in recent years, including romantic ones as well as many friendships and families. I’m sure you’ve had such experiences or at least know people that had. 

Final thoughts

OK, that’s the last of it. What do you think? What are the most significant deal breakers for you?

On the other side, you might also want to know some undeniable signs that someone genuinely cares about you.

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Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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