Dating a nice guy but no chemistry? 9 tips if this is you

If you’re looking for a relationship that is both long-term and romantic, you may want to consider dating a nice guy.

But what if the nice guy checks all the boxes and is perfect on paper, but there’s just no chemistry between you?

Don’t give up!

It’s important to keep in mind that although you can feel chemistry instantly, it could also take months to discover.

Here are 9 tips if you’re dating a nice guy but have no chemistry with him:

Let’s get started:

1) Give him a chance, don’t give up immediately

If you’ve started dating a nice guy but think that there’s no chemistry between you, don’t give up immediately.

Imagine this:

  • He’s well educated and has good manners.
  • He’s sweet and sensitive.
  • He likes to read.
  • He has a good sense of humor.
  • He likes the same movies that you do.
  • He’s tidy.
  • He can cook.
  • He’s really good-looking.

And so on, and so forth, you get the point…

If this is a guy that has a lot of great attributes, if he’s handsome and makes you laugh, if he respects you and you feel comfortable around him, you need to give him a chance.

In my experience, you may not feel butterflies in your stomach when you see him, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t have chemistry.

What I’m trying to say is, get to know the guy a little better, spend some more time with him.

The bottom line is don’t write him off just because he failed to make your heart race on the first date.

2) Chemistry doesn’t always equal love

So, I don’t know if it is the fault of Hollywood or old romance novels, but somehow people have come to the conclusion that you can’t have a successful and loving relationship without chemistry.

I’m here to bust that myth.

Think about it:

How many times have you dated a total jerk who made you weak in the knees but had no respect for you?

How many times have you gone out with someone purely because of the chemistry between you only to find out that you have nothing to talk about?

How many of these guys did you end up having loving and fulfilling relationships with?

Here’s the thing:

It’s great if you can find someone with whom you have a lot in common, who treats you right, and who makes your heart race.

But just because the last part may be missing, doesn’t mean you can’t fall in love with this person and have a long and happy relationship with them.

3) Chemistry may take time to appear

The truth is that you can’t force chemistry – you can will the racing heart and stomach butterflies into existence when you see a person – it has to come naturally.

Sometimes you need to give it some time.

Maybe your chemistry isn’t very strong because you haven’t gotten a chance to get familiarized with each other yet.

If that is the case, then slow down and expand your relationship on the basis of trust and communication.

What you need to do is to keep an open mind and be patient.

How much time will it take to appear chemistry?

Well, the answer depends on the specific characteristics of your relationship.

Still, I know a way you can figure out how much time you will need to develop chemistry.

In fact, Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like having no chemistry.

I spoke with these professional coaches a few times and each time, they provided personalized guidance that helped me to make powerful decisions in my life.

If you also want to get through this difficult situation, maybe you should also contact them immediately.

Click here to check them out.

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4) There are different types of chemistry

Fun fact:

Did you know that there are different types of chemistry between people?

They don’t all have to be equally intense or obvious.

  • There’s the type of chemistry that teenagers experience for example – where they think that they will die if they are not together with their beloved.
  • There’s physical chemistry – an intense sexual attraction between people who may not even know each other all that well.
  • There’s emotional chemistry – it’s when you feel safe and comfortable around each other. It’s when the other person feels like home.
  • There’s personality – that’s when two people are attracted to each other for they are, for their
  • There’s intellectual chemistry – when two people are attracted to each other’s minds and can spend hours and hours just talking.
  • There’s creative chemistry – partners with high creative chemistry understand and support each other’s creative ventures and are even able to be successful business partners.
  • There’s even spiritual chemistry – when two people connect on a spiritual level – when they share religious views or their moral values align.

Just because you didn’t feel any butterflies in your stomach doesn’t mean that you and this guy don’t share any chemistry. Get to know him a little better and keep in mind the different types of chemistry.

5) Forget Hollywood stereotypes

When it comes to high and unrealistic expectations in love, I blame Hollywood.

Hollywood movies portray romantic relationships a certain way, and when life fails to deliver just that – people pass on wonderful opportunities.

Here’s the thing:

Hollywood likes to keep us dreaming about a perfect romantic relationship, but we need to remember that Hollywood is fake. It’s not real life.

So, when you kiss a guy, don’t expect your leg to go up to make a right angle at the knee – something that’s been in so many movies that it has a name now: foot pop.

Don’t think that because he’s not charming he can’t be the love of your life.

What you need to do is forget Hollywood and ask yourself, “Do I like this guy – even if he’s not like the guys in the movies?”

6) Stop comparing him to your ex

I don’t know about you, but I tend to compare the guys I’m dating to my ex.

It’s like I’m looking for any flaws he has instead of giving him a chance.

Here’s where chemistry comes in.

If I don’t experience the same type of chemistry with this guy as I did with my ex, I write him off.

Big mistake!

Ask yourself this:

If your ex was so wonderful that you compare all other guys to him, why didn’t it work out?

Maybe your ex had some great qualities but in the end, there was something wrong with your relationship. Maybe you didn’t have as much chemistry as you thought.

Stop comparing new guys to your ex because they may be a hundred times better but you won’t see it if you’re stuck in the past.

7) Get out of your comfort zone

If you’re not sure about your chemistry with the nice guy you’re dating, maybe you should shake things up a bit.

Instead of going on all the traditional dates – movie, dinner, ice cream – why not try and be a bit more adventurous?

You see, if you go out of your comfort zone and try something different, something more daring – like bungee jumping or interactive theater – you may see another side to your nice guy.

All in all, the chemistry might be there, you’re just looking at it in the wrong light.

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8) Roller-coaster feelings aren’t always a good thing

Now, maybe you’re used to a roller coaster of emotions in a relationship.

Maybe angst, jealousy, and conflict make you feel alive.

Maybe you’re so accustomed to these intense feelings – even if they’re essentially negative – that in their absence, you worry that you don’t have chemistry.

You’re looking for the obsessive and intense feeling that a teenager feels, the “I can’t live without you” kind.

But that’s not love. Sometimes people confuse anxiety for love. They think if they don’t spend sleepless nights thinking about their nice guy, then the relationship is doomed.

Here’s the deal:

Remember how I said that there are different types of chemistry? Well, before you rule someone out, think about whether you have other kinds of chemistry with them, such as emotional chemistry.

9) Bad boys are bad boyfriend material

Yes, I know.

Bad boys make your heart race. Bad boys make you weak in the knees.

But, bad boys also make you cry. They don’t take your feelings into consideration.

They put themselves first.

Bad boys aren’t loyal.

So it all adds up to this:

If you want a serious relationship with a responsible adult who’ll treat you like a queen, who’ll love and respect you and share their life with you, you won’t find it with a bad boy.

It’s the nice guy that you should turn to.

You may not feel the same kind of chemistry with him as you might with a bad guy, but you might actually find a different, deeper, and more meaningful connection.

Give the nice guy a chance!


By now you should have a better understanding of the different types of chemistry and what it means to be dating a nice guy with no chemistry.

You want to keep on dating him, but you’re not sure that the chemistry will ever appear.

So what can you do to resolve this?

Well, maybe if you manage to trigger his Hero Instinct, you’ll see a part of him that was unknown to you before.

The Hero Instinct?

Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept finally shows what a man needs in order to activate his full potential as a life partner.

In his free video, he explains that when a woman comes along and triggers this instinct in a man, he becomes much more committed, passionate, and devoted.

And this could be exactly what you need to ignite the spark between the two of you.

Click here to watch his excellent free video.

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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