Everyone has insecurities.
They’re like annoying little gremlins who seem harmless at first but turn into monsters if you feed them too often.
Especially after midnight, when negative thoughts have a habit of haunting your mind.
Before you know it, the gremlins are all grown up and ready to eat you alive.
But what if I told you that some people manage to tame these pesky creatures?
It’s not a superpower – just a skill you can develop if you set yourself up for success.
Here are 5 daily behaviors of people who turned their insecurities into strengths.
Adding them to your routine will make a huge difference.
1) They accept their shortcomings
No one is perfect.
It’s ridiculous to expect to be good at everything, but the problem is that some things are harder to accept than others.
For instance, I will never be good at math, and I’m fine with that. I’ll never be a great athlete, and that’s okay. I can’t sing to save my life, and it hasn’t held me back so far.
What took me longer to accept, however, was the fact that I suck at handling criticism.
When I got a bad grade in school, I sulked. When I got negative feedback from work, I felt like a loser.
As a person who writes for the internet, every nasty comment coming my way used to feel like an arrow piercing my abdomen.
For years, I told myself this wasn’t a big deal; I was overly sensitive.
I didn’t admit this was a problem because I knew it’s hard to build a lucrative career or long-term relationship if you’re a snowflake who reacts poorly whenever a manager or partner suggests you could be better at something.
Unfortunately, this denial prevented me from developing coping strategies that would have allowed me to separate my emotions from the feedback in question.
Now, I accept that I am, indeed, a snowflake. But I’ve been working on it.
When I receive feedback I don’t like, I give myself about 10-15 minutes to feel whatever I’m feeling.
That I’m a failure. That the person who provided the feedback is a jerk. That this is rock bottom, and I can’t find my way back up.
Then, I take deep breaths and remind myself that the other person was criticizing a tiny part of who I am or what I do, not myself as a whole.
I also remind myself of everything I do well and everyone who likes me.
This helps me quickly process my feelings of inadequacy and let them go instead of burying them somewhere inside my psyche and letting them fester for weeks.
And I couldn’t have developed this strategy without accepting that I had a character flaw I was struggling with.
Once you accept your shortcomings, you stop beating yourself up about them.
You discover self-compassion.
It’s the first step toward feeling more relaxed in your skin.
2) They aim to improve
People who quiet down their insecurities understand that who they will be a few days from now doesn’t have to be the same person they are today.
They believe they can enhance their abilities through learning and perseverance.
This is what’s called a growth mindset.
Instead of becoming complacent and thinking that “you are what you are,” you strive for more.
People with a growth mindset know they must sweat for every ounce of progress, which only makes realizing how far you’ve come that much sweeter.
Let’s say you’re insecure about speaking in a second language.
If you tell yourself there’s nothing you can do about that, you’re just bad at it, you hamper your growth.
In the opposite corner, a person with a growth mindset says, “I’m anxious now, but I can improve with practice.”
Then, they take a course, speak in front of a mirror, converse with native speakers, spend all their free time on Duolingo.
They put effort into honing the skill.
They become better.
Before long, the idea of speaking in their second language no longer makes their knees tremble or their hearts race.
As shaman Rudá Iandé emphasizes in his Free Your Mind masterclass, “You are a dynamic being in a constant process of transformation.”
Rudá promotes spiritual empowerment from within, offering valuable tips on how to let go of limiting beliefs and tap into your full potential.
If you need an extra dose of inspiration, click here to give the masterclass a go.
3) They hype themselves up
Being your own cheerleader is one of the most important daily behaviors you can instill to keep insecurity at manageable levels.
It’s like having a one-person pep squad. It boosts your confidence, motivation, and positivity.
As someone who is insecure herself, I admit it’s weird at first. But if you keep it up, it’s not long until you notice the benefits.
Practice treating yourself like the main character you are:
- Give yourself a compliment every morning
- Write positive affirmations on Post-its and stick them around your apartment
- Make a playlist of your favorite feel-good songs and listen to it when you feel down
- Celebrate every small win (solo dance parties are underrated)
- Visualize yourself accomplishing your wildest goals
- Practice gratitude
- List all your positive attributes and achievements in your notes app and revisit it often
- Share successes with friends or family (let them gush over how amazing you are)
By focusing on the positive, banishing self-doubt won’t seem so exhausting.
Which brings me to my next point.
4) They challenge negative thoughts
Challenging negative thoughts is a powerful skill that helps you regain control over your mindset.
First, become aware of the negative thought as it pops into your mind.
“I can’t do this.” “I’m not good enough.” “I’ll fail.”
Then, ask yourself for evidence to support it.
See, dark thoughts are often based on assumptions or irrational fears rather than reality.
By finding proof of the opposite, you can squash it or at least morph it into something more acceptable.
Depending on the thought, exploring alternative interpretations of the situation and assessing whether you’re blowing things out of proportion can also be helpful.
If your partner doesn’t reply to a text, for instance, you may think they’re ignoring you because they want to break up, when in reality, they might be busy with work or immersed in a video game.
Finally, try to reframe the thought in a way that enables you to distance yourself from assuming the worst:
- I can’t do this – I’ve done this before, and I succeeded; or, Even if I haven’t done this before, I have the skill and determination to see the task through
- I’m not good enough – I am capable and competent, so I can figure this out
- I’ll fail – I faced challenges before and overcame them; I’ll give this my best shot
Keep at it, and you’ll become the master of your own thought patterns.
5) They take care of themselves
Finally, you can’t turn your insecurities into strengths if you don’t take care of yourself.
It may sound like basic stuff, but the quality of your sleep, diet, and lifestyle significantly contribute to your overall well-being.
It’s difficult to challenge negative thoughts and focus on your positive attributes if you’re sleep-deprived, hangry, and haven’t seen outside in about a week.
Make self-care a priority and commit to it.
By self-care, I don’t mean take a bubble bath and binge-watch your comfort TV show for hours. I mean:
- Get enough restorative sleep each night (7-9 hours)
- Maintain a balanced diet (the more colorful your plate, the better)
- Drink plenty of water throughout the day
- Engage in physical activity you enjoy (gym, walking, swimming, dancing, whatever you fancy)
- Schedule regular check-ups to monitor your physical health
- Don’t neglect your relationships with friends and loved ones
- Make time for hobbies and activities that help you relax
In addition to all of these, cater to your physical appearance, too.
What’s on the inside matters more, but you feel better when you look polished.
Liking what you see in the mirror gives you a confidence boost, which makes you forget all about your insecurities, at least for a little while.
Focus on factors related to your appearance that you can control, such as grooming and style.
Oh, and wear clothing that makes you feel hot *and* comfortable.
Taming your insecurities is a marathon, not a sprint.
Embracing these behaviors is a great starting point, but you need to be diligent if you want to keep self-doubt at bay.
Zone in on your positive attributes. Be kind to yourself.
And, on tough days, revisit Rudá Iandé’s Free Your Mind masterclass.
It will remind you about the importance of moving from pain to a place of love and acceptance.