10 classic phrases men say when they’re not truly in love, according to psychology

Things can get weird really quickly when you say “I love you” to your man, but he doesn’t feel the same way or isn’t ready to commit fully yet. 

And that’s when they come up with other phrases instead. They think it will buy them time or deflect a bit from the topic. 

So, let’s see what classic phrases men say when they’re not truly in love, according to psychology.

1) “I’m just not ready for a serious relationship right now” 

This could mean your guy isn’t ready to commit to something long-term. Maybe he’s focusing on other priorities like work, personal growth, or just enjoying the single life.

From a psychological standpoint, this could reflect a fear of intimacy or commitment. It might stem from past relationship experiences, attachment issues, or a desire to maintain independence.

Whatever the reason, he’ll use this classic phrase to justify that he’s not truly in love. 

2) “I’m really busy with work/school/hobbies” 

Look, sometimes, when a man says this, he might genuinely have a lot on his plate. But it could also be a way of saying he’s not willing to make time for a relationship.

And psychologically, using busyness as an excuse could mean the relationship isn’t a priority for him right now. At this point, he values other aspects of his life more than romantic involvement.

So, for example, he rarely initiates conversations or responds to your messages promptly, claiming he’s too busy with school assignments or extracurricular activities.

He cancels your date night plans for the third time in a row, citing work deadlines and overtime shifts that unexpectedly came up.

So when he uses “I’m really busy with…” as an excuse, it means he’s probably not truly in love, and he’s making excuses to lead you on. 

3) “You’re too good for me” 

When a guy says, “You’re too good for me,” it might sound like he’s complimenting you, but it’s often his way of putting himself down without directly saying it. 

He thinks he’s not good enough for you and that you deserve someone better. It could be because he doesn’t feel confident in himself or he’s scared of getting too close to you. Basically, it’s like he’s saying, “I’m not worthy of your love or attention.”

But… There’s always a “but,” right? It could also mean he’s not truly in love with you, and it’s just a bullsh*t way of saying it indirectly. 

He hopes you’ll get the hint and leave it at that. 

4) “Let’s just take things slow” 

Taking it slow is fine, but if he uses it as a constant excuse, it means the guy isn’t fully invested in the relationship. It’s his way of avoiding commitment or intimacy.

Essentially, it could be his way of avoiding committing to the relationship or getting too close too quickly.

So, have an open and honest conversation with him about your feelings and expectations for the relationship. 

Express any concerns or uncertainties and listen to his perspective as well.

Determine what “taking it slow” means for both of you and establish clear boundaries and expectations moving forward. 

This can help you stay on the same page and prevent misunderstandings.

5) “I need space to figure things out” 

Okay, wanting space is normal, right? Everyone needs some breathing time for themselves. But if it’s a recurring theme, it could mean the guy isn’t sure about the relationship. 

If he’s saying, “I need space to figure things out,” he’s trying to distance himself emotionally or avoid confronting his true feelings.

He might feel like the relationship is too much for him at the moment, and he needs some time to catch his breath and do his own thing.

He could also be afraid of making a big commitment or decision about the relationship, so he’s taking a step back to think things through.

You’ll never know unless you talk to him about it and see if this relationship is worth going forward with. 

6) “I’m not sure what I want” 

pic2456 1 10 classic phrases men say when they're not truly in love, according to psychology

This classic phrase reveals his internal conflict or ambivalence. Psychologically, he might be struggling to reconcile his desires with his fears or doubts about the relationship.

That’s normal in many relationships, and these doubts come out sooner or later from both sides, especially when you’re younger and have your whole life ahead of you.

Ultimately, he might be unsure about his feelings for you, or he could be uncertain about what he wants in a relationship in general. 

It’s a huge sign that he needs some time and space to reflect on his feelings and priorities before making any decisions about the future.

7) “I’m not good at expressing my feelings” 

When a guy says he’s not good at expressing his feelings, it could actually mean he’s not really into the relationship. In other words, he doesn’t truly love you. 

It sounds like he’s just bad at talking about emotions, but it could also be his way of avoiding getting too deep or serious. 

He’s basically brushing off the emotional stuff because he’s not ready or willing to go there with you.

Keep an eye on what he does, not just what he says. Actions can show more than words, so see if he’s actually putting effort into making the relationship work and tackling any problems you’ve talked about.

8) “I’m not sure if I’m capable of love” 

When a guy says, “I’m not sure if I’m capable of love,” it’s a huge red flag. Sure, he might sound like he’s questioning his whole emotional setup, but it could just be a cover-up for not being all in with you, and he’s trying to let you down easy without straight-up saying he’s not into you.

Instead of being upfront and honest about his feelings, he’s hiding behind this uncertainty to spare your feelings. 

But in reality, it’s just prolonging the inevitable conversation about where things stand between you two. 

It’s up to you to recognize this behavior for what it is and have a candid discussion about your relationship’s future.

9) “I’m not ready to commit” 

Commitment can be scary, but if he consistently avoids it, it could mean he’s not truly in love and/or fully invested in the relationship. He’s keeping his options open or afraid of getting hurt.

Maybe he’s unsure if you’re the right fit for him, or perhaps he’s not ready to give up his freedom and independence. 

If he’s not ready to commit, it’s time for you to think about whether this relationship is what you really want. 

You deserve someone who’s all in and willing to put in the effort. If he’s not stepping up, you need to consider if it’s worth sticking around or if you’re better off finding someone who’s ready for the same level of commitment as you are.

10) “I think we’re just not compatible” 

Another phrase that suggests he doesn’t see a future with you because he’s not truly in love. There could obviously be all kinds of reasons, but it is what it is, right?

Look, when you hear, “I think we’re just not compatible,” it feels like a bucket of ice water to the face. 

On the other side, it’s better to hear it early on than to deal with it later in the relationship and after you’ve sunk a lot of time into the thing. 

Final thoughts

When you hear these phrases from a guy, you must trust your instincts and pay attention to the underlying message. 

While some of these phrases might be genuine expressions of his feelings or concerns, others could be used as excuses to avoid deeper emotional intimacy or commitment.

Above all, you deserve someone who is willing to invest in the relationship and make you feel valued and loved.

Picture of Adrian Volenik

Adrian Volenik

Adrian has years of experience in the field of personal development and building wealth. Both physical and spiritual. He has a deep understanding of the human mind and a passion for helping people enhance their lives. Adrian loves to share practical tips and insights that can help readers achieve their personal and professional goals. He has lived in several European countries and has now settled in Portugal with his family. When he’s not writing, he enjoys going to the beach, hiking, drinking sangria, and spending time with his wife and son.

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