In all types of relationships, effective communication is key to understanding, empathy, and connection.
However, emotional maturity plays a crucial role in how we express ourselves and respond to others.
Men, like anyone else, can sometimes struggle with emotional maturity, which can lead to communication breakdowns and conflict.
And that’s what we’ll be discussing in this article – 11 classic phrases men often say when emotional maturity isn’t part of the equation:
1) “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Picture this:
A man gets home, visibly frustrated and annoyed. He kicks off his shoes and storms into the bedroom. His wife follows and asks what’s wrong – he says he’s fine and wants to be alone.
She gives him time to cool down, but when she later broaches the subject again, he tells her he doesn’t want to talk about it.
In doing this, he immediately shuts down the conversation.
Rather than explain what happened at work to make him so annoyed, he’d rather keep it bottled up.
Perhaps he feels uncomfortable sharing his emotions. Or he doesn’t want to admit that some of what happened that day may have been his own fault.
One thing is for sure – he doesn’t realize he’s shutting his wife out.
You see, every time he does this, his wife feels increasingly disconnected from him – why? Because he never reveals his vulnerable side.
2) “It’s not that big of a deal.”
Ah, minimizing.
If I had a penny for every time an emotionally immature man has used this phrase, I’d be on a beach somewhere sipping a cocktail instead of hunched over a laptop!
This is a classic phrase that men use when they don’t want to deal with the emotional weight or complexity of an issue.
They don’t see it as a big deal, and therefore, they don’t understand why you do.
So he pretends it’s not serious, dismisses it, and through doing this, avoids confrontation.
3) “You’re being too emotional.”
Women around the world are all too familiar with this phrase. And the reason why is because we’re often seen as “too emotional” in comparison with our male counterparts.
But here’s the thing:
We’re not. We’re just better at expressing our emotions. And emotionally MATURE men understand that – they recognize that feelings are normal and it’s okay to show them.
Emotionally IMMATURE men, on the other hand, can’t seem to handle too much emotion in one go. They cannot understand why someone would cry or make a big deal out of something that’s upset them.
So again, they try to minimize and dismiss.
4) “I’m fine.”
Well, I’ll admit that this line is used pretty commonly by women who lack emotional maturity too.
But it’s worth talking about, because when someone says they’re “fine”, they’re usually not.
They say this to avoid having to be vulnerable and share their feelings. But what they end up doing is making the situation worse.
Because as we all know, bottled-up feelings explode at some point and never at a good moment.
5) “Just let it go.”
Case in point:
An ex and I were having some issues, and I wanted to bring up an unresolved argument from the past that I felt was the root cause of our problems.
Every time I did, he’d tell me to just let it go.
But I didn’t want to because it was obvious that we needed to talk about it and reach some form of mutual understanding on how to move forward from it.
I simply couldn’t understand why he wanted to bypass the entire conversation.
But now, looking back on it, I can see that he didn’t have the emotional maturity to resolve the issue. That’s why he tried to avoid it for as long as he did.
6) “Why are you making such a big deal out of this?”
An emotionally immature man can run over your cat, accidentally burn the house down, sleep with your best friend and still turn around and ask why you’re making such a big deal out of it.
Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration but you get what I mean!
An emotionally immature man would use this phrase because he perceives most forms of emotional expression to be disproportionate – even if they’re clearly justified.
He doesn’t stop to think about the other person’s feelings. He doesn’t consider that what he’s done may be seriously upsetting.
And even if he does recognize the harm, he’d rather not deal with it. So, he’ll do his best to brush past it, make the other person seem like they’re overreacting, and move on.
7) “I don’t see why you’re upset.”
Now, when a man uses this phrase, it’s a clear indication that he doesn’t have much empathy.
He can’t or he’s unwilling to put himself into someone else’s shoes to understand how they might be feeling.
Most times, he doesn’t stop to even consider how his actions or words could have been hurtful – this also shows a lack of reflection on his part.
Which also explains why he’s emotionally immature in the first place.
8) “Can’t we just forget about this?”
Try telling a child to forget about something that’s upset them, and it won’t be easy.
Try telling an adult to forget something that has upset them, and it’s pretty much impossible (without the use of drugs or alcohol).
You see when we’re sad, angry, or annoyed, we *should* work through those feelings by understanding where they came from and allowing them to come and go while we search for a possible solution.
But emotionally immature men don’t do that.
They’re in the business of denial – they deny their own feelings so it’s no wonder they do it to other people too.
Ultimately, when they use this phrase it’s because they don’t want to delve into their emotions (or hear about yours). They want to sweep everything firmly under the rug, not realizing that it’ll come back to bite them later down the line.
9) “You’re overreacting.”
The thing that bothers me about this phrase is that we never really know what someone else is feeling.
We don’t know their past traumas or experiences, and even if we do, we don’t know how that pain might linger or present itself in different situations.
So it feels unfair to tell someone that they’re overreacting to a situation, just because our reaction might be different.
But emotionally immature men often make this mistake. They assume. They don’t try to figure out or understand. And that often leads to their downfall in relationships.
10) “That’s just how I am.”
In other words – “I’m unwilling to work and evolve and improve myself as a person”…or…” Accept my bad behavior or hit the highway, cos I’m not changing!”
When a man uses this phrase, it’s because he doesn’t want to admit he’s got faults that could be worked on. He doesn’t want to go there because then it would require him to do some serious introspection and hard work.
So, he uses his personality as his excuse.
His bad behavior, in his mind, is simply part of his “nature”.
11) “I’m not good with feelings.”
And finally, while this is an honest admission, it’s a clear sign that a man lacks emotional maturity.
Most likely he’s never been taught how to deal with his emotions – a lot of men weren’t and still aren’t.
But that doesn’t mean they can’t change that as adults.
Perhaps back in the 60s, it wasn’t a thing, but now in 2024 as a society, we’re much more aware of the harm caused by toxic male masculinity (emphasis on toxic).
And as time goes on, we’re more conscious of how important it is to be in touch with our emotions.
Ultimately, these examples demonstrate various ways in which a lack of emotional maturity can manifest in communication, often leading to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and unresolved issues in relationships.
If you’re dealing with an emotionally immature man at home, my thoughts go out to you.
