10 characteristics of a pushy person (and how to deal with them)

‍Are you often the target of pushy people?

Do you feel exhausted because someone keeps asking you for favors, information or some other things?

If you deal with pushy people on a regular basis, it can make life much more stressful than it needs to be.

Today, we’ll look at the characteristics of pushy people and how you can deal with them!

1) They give unsolicited advice

If you give advice to anyone who doesn’t ask for it, you are being pushy.

If you want to help those in need, then absolutely do that. But if you are someone who just likes to feel smarter than everyone by giving advice for no reason, you are being pushy.

Advice can be helpful, don’t get me wrong, but it can also backfire on you.

You cannot possibly know everything about everyone or every situation, so you’re better off just keeping your mouth shut.

The thing is, if people are not asking you for advice, then giving it unsolicited is just being pushy.

All that will do is make people think that you feel like you’re better than them.

If you are dealing with someone who keeps giving you unsolicited advice, you should ignore them or tell them you don’t want their advice.

Sure, because they are pushy people, they might get a bit butthurt at first but don’t worry, you can simply tell them in a gentle but firm manner that you’d like to be left alone.

This will make them feel guilty and they’ll leave you alone in the future.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting someone’s opinion on your life and choices, so don’t be afraid to let them know that you are not really interested in their opinion.

If I was in your shoes, I’d say something along the lines of: “I know you’re trying to help, but I think I got this on my own. If I do need help, I’d be happy to ask you, though!”

2) They want people to commit

If a person constantly asks you to commit to things, makes you feel bad if you don’t want to do something, or constantly uses phrases such as “we should” or “we must,” they are being pushy.

If you have no interest in doing something, then you don’t have to.

Let people know this by saying “no” or “not right now” to their requests.

If you keep committing to stuff you have no interest in, you will eventually be resentful.

You see, pushy people want other people to commit to plans, trips, or even relationships.

This is because they will try to guilt trip you into doing what they want by using phrases like “we should” or “we must”.

If you feel like the person is being too pushy, then tell them that you are not ready for that commitment.

You can even say, “I’m sorry but I can’t do that right now.”

This will probably make them stop pushing and start respecting your boundaries, but if it doesn’t, then just tell them that you are not interested in committing to anything.

Now if the person who is being pushy keeps asking for a commitment and won’t leave you alone about it, then I would honestly get rid of them.

If someone wants something from me but I don’t want to give it to them, then all they’re doing is wasting my time.

Trust me, you are way better off simply telling them that you don’t want that in your life, than trying to keep them off your back for wanting you to commit to something all the time.

True friends or partners will give you time to decide what you want to do and will respect your decisions.

Pushy people don’t.

3) They never truly listen

afif kusuma mv38TB Ljj8 unsplash 10 characteristics of a pushy person (and how to deal with them)

A person who is being pushy is also someone who doesn’t listen to others.

If someone is always speaking, but never pauses to listen to you, they are being pushy.

This can happen in a variety of situations, but especially in relationships where one person allows the other person to constantly be the one dominating the conversation.

If someone’s being pushy, don’t be afraid to step in and take control of the conversation for a bit.

You see, when someone is pushy, they usually love to hear themselves talk, which is why in conversations, they don’t listen to what you truly have to say, they are simply waiting for their turn to speak.

If you feel like you’re the one being constantly pushed around, then try to take control of the conversation for a bit.

Once you do this, they’ll probably ask you what you think about what they just said, and listen to your response.

This is because if they don’t listen to what you have to say and just wait for their turn to talk, then they are never going to get any new information.

People who are pushy want constant reassurance that they are right.

4) They don’t realize when they are stepping over the line

If you are pushy, you probably won’t realize when you are being pushy.

You may be saying these things harmlessly to yourself, but you are probably unaware of how pushy it actually is for other people.

When you are pushy, you aren’t considering other people’s feelings or wants. You may not even realize you’re doing it.

Ask someone you trust if you are being pushy and take their criticisms seriously.

When you are confronted with a pushy person, just assume that they are not realizing that they are overstepping the line and give them a gentle reminder.

If they don’t realize it, then they don’t know that they are being pushy, and you are doing them a favor by telling them.

However, be gentle. Being too harsh in that situation can cause the person to get defensive and shut down.

Be gentle, but firm, and if you are truly concerned about the person’s pushiness, then let them know that you care about them and want them to stop being so pushy.

The most important thing is to be gentle and kind.

However, don’t let them walk all over you, of course.

If they are overstepping your boundaries, let them know and stay firm.

But I get it, standing up to pushy people can be hard, especially if you’ve been faced with them for a while.

If that’s the case, I highly recommend watching this free breathwork video, created by the shaman, Rudá Iandê.

Rudá isn’t another self-professed life coach. Through shamanism and his own life journey, he’s created a modern-day twist to ancient healing techniques.

The exercises in his invigorating video combine years of breathwork experience and ancient shamanic beliefs, designed to help you relax and check in with your body and soul.

After many years of suppressing my emotions, Rudá’s dynamic breathwork flow quite literally revived that connection.

And that’s what you need:

A spark to reconnect you with your feelings so that you can begin focusing on the most important relationship of all – the one you have with yourself.

So if you’re ready to say goodbye to anxiety and stress, check out his genuine advice below.

Click here to watch the free video.

5) They always talk about themselves

If someone always talks about themselves and their life, they are being pushy.

If they don’t ask you any questions, they are being pushy.

If they don’t let you get a word in edgewise, they are being pushy. Talking about yourself is fine, but there should be a balance.

Allow others who you are talking with to talk about themselves as well.

If you are constantly talking and not giving others a chance to respond, you are being pushy.

Now: if you are dealing with a person who is constantly talking about themselves and never letting anyone else speak, then it can be really frustrating, I know.

However, there’s not too much you can do about it.

You can either stay with them and deal with it, or leave.

If you want to leave, then do so.

Just remember that if you’re dealing with a pushy person, then they are pushing their boundaries onto you.

Sure, you could tell them that they are being incredibly pushy and that they are very self-absorbed, but that doesn’t seem to go over very well most times…

6) They won’t take no for an answer

charl folscher 0d3sN22lH0c unsplash 10 characteristics of a pushy person (and how to deal with them)

If someone keeps trying to talk you into doing something or keeps asking you for something, even after you’ve said no, they are being pushy.

If someone’s using guilt to get you to do something or constantly bringing up an issue you’ve already talked through, they are being pushy.

Be careful not to do this to your friends, family and loved ones.

If someone doesn’t take no for an answer, you might be at a loss of what to do now.

It’s not easy to deal with someone who is pushy, but you have to remember that you are only responsible for your own self.

If someone is being pushy and won’t take no for an answer, then you can either put up with it or walk away.

Remember that if they won’t take no for an answer, they are pushing their boundaries onto yours.

Now: from time to time, walking away from a situation can be difficult, but trust me, it is the only way to get a pushy person to understand that no means no.

7) They plan every detail of every day

If your friend is always planning out your next vacation, the meals you’ll be having or the events you’ll be attending, they are being pushy.

If they want to know where you’ll be at all times and what you’ll be doing, even if you don’t want to share that information, they are being pushy.

Let things happen organically.

Let people decide what they want to do and when they want to do it. Don’t impose your desires on others.

You see, I get it, some people love their routines and they need to be in control of every aspect of their life.

That’s fine, but if you’re trying to control what others do, you’re being pushy.

If you want to plan things out and have a routine, that’s fine, but don’t try to get other people involved in it.

If someone else is being like that with you, you can gently let them know that you don’t want to plan every single detail and that you want to let things happen organically.

8) They keep score of what favors they do for you

If a person keeps track of how many times they’ve done something for you or how many times you’ve done something for them and then uses that as an excuse to get more from you, they are being pushy.

Let favors happen naturally when they are needed. Don’t demand that people do things for you just because they did them before.

You see, when people keep score of everything they do for you, it becomes really frustrating to be friends with them.

When you keep score of everything you do for them, it’s even more frustrating, right?

If you want to be friends with someone who is being pushy, then don’t get involved in their score-keeping.

Either accept that they are the way they are, have a conversation with them about it, or simply don’t hang out with them anymore.

9) They won’t grant you some alone time

frank busch 4aqYzVwTpG0 unsplash 10 characteristics of a pushy person (and how to deal with them)

If a person constantly follows you around or won’t let you have some time to yourself, they are being pushy.

If they don’t respect the times you need to be alone and are always interrupting you when you need to concentrate, they are being pushy.

Let people have some privacy. If a friend is trying to read a book, don’t hover over them asking what the book is about. Give people the space they need and ask for the same in return.

You see, pushy people have a poor sense of boundaries, especially when it comes to alone time.

If a friend is being pushy, sometimes it’s best to just say “I need some alone time” and walk away.

If they want to be friends with you, they will respect your boundaries. If they don’t, then that’s not a friendship worth having.

I get it, they might not fully understand that you need your alone time and might feel hurt, and you can take your time to explain to them what is really going on.

All in all, it’s best to really be firm with your needs and wants, whether it’s a friendship or a relationship.

10) They don’t take criticism well

If a person gets defensive every time you criticize something about them – even if it’s true – they are being pushy.

Everyone needs constructive criticism from time to time.

If you are pushy, you probably don’t want to hear it.

That’s fine, but don’t get upset when people avoid you because you make it hard to help you.

You see, if you are on the other end of the situation and someone just won’t take criticism very well, you could try working on how you deliver it.

If you can be more tactful, gentle, and non-judgmental about what you say, sometimes people will actually listen to you and want to improve.

Trust me, nobody loves being criticized, but if done correctly, you can even give a very pushy person some constructive feedback.

What to do when you’re dealing with a pushy person

First, try to understand what is causing the pushiness.

If it’s because they want to help you, they want to make you feel better.

If it’s because they want to be in charge of everything, they have a control issue.

Depending on what they’re being pushy about, there are different ways of dealing with it.

You see, most of the time, their behavior has absolutely nothing to do with you.

On the contrary, they are probably just dealing with stuff themselves.

So what can you do to deal with someone who is pushy?

Begin with yourself. Stop searching for external fixes to sort out your life, deep down, you know this isn’t working.

And that’s because until you look within and unleash your personal power, you’ll never find the satisfaction and fulfillment you’re searching for.

I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. His life mission is to help people restore balance to their lives and unlock their creativity and potential.

He has an incredible approach that combines ancient shamanic techniques with a modern-day twist.

In his excellent free video, Rudá explains effective methods to achieve what you want in life and deal with people who are difficult.

So if you want to build a better relationship with yourself, unlock your endless potential, and put passion at the heart of everything you do, start now by checking out his genuine advice.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

Be careful when you try to get pushy with them

Being pushy can have a lot of negative effects on your relationships and the way other people view you.

It can make you seem unapproachable and hard to get along with.

It can make you seem like you don’t care about the feelings of others, and it can make you seem like you don’t respect the efforts of other people.

Trust me, don’t get pushy with other people, even if they do the same with you!

You can’t control people, but you can control yourself

If someone is being pushy, there are only two things you can do.

You can try to change yourself and do things the way they want them done, or you can try to change the way you react to their pushing.

You can’t change other people, but you can control how you react to them.

If you change the way you react to pushy people and learn to stand up for yourself, they are less likely to be pushy toward you.

Anna Scheucher

Anna Scheucher

Freelance writer specializing in holistic health, wellness, and psychology. Check out my blog to find out more https://www.fullyholistic.com/!

Enhance your experience of Ideapod and join Tribe, our community of free thinkers and seekers.

Related articles

Most read articles

Get our articles

Ideapod news, articles, and resources, sent straight to your inbox every month.