There’s a difference between someone who prefers being alone, to someone who’s truly comfortable with it.
It comes down to a person’s ability to accept their multidimensional nature – and getting to know yourself takes time!
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Here are 11 character traits of people who are truly comfortable being alone.
1) They are magnetic
The term popular loner comes to mind.
Generally speaking, the ability to be happy in your own company exudes tranquility. So people who are comfortable alone tend to be likable.
Or perhaps they just pique our interest by making us wonder why they enjoy being alone so much?
When so many people choose misery over true company?
These are the kinds of people who have mastered the art of being emotionally available for themselves as well.
So their presence makes us feel listened to and cared for – adding to their magnetism greatly.
2) They are emotionally available
Emotional availability comes with readiness and intelligence.
A lot of people think that they are emotionally available. But really, they just want to be in a relationship and mistake that desire for openness.
You can tell if someone is truly open by the way they handle their struggles and successes – do they truly embrace the present moment?
And there’s nothing like embodying presence like giving myself the time of day.
3) They accept the present as is
Emotional intelligence also comes with radical acceptance.
Knowing what you can change and having the courage to accept what you cannot – also known as the serenity prayer!
Signs of a person who knows the difference can resemble the following:
- Letting go of situations that don’t serve them
- Listening to their intuition
- Being compassionate instead of judging others
- Being radically authentic through candor
And when you aren’t trying to force anything that requires you to abandon yourself, it comes with a whirlwind of a life.
4) They are ever-changing
When you look at the main reasons why a person might hold onto situations and resist change, it’s because they’re scared to be alone.
Alone physically or with their thoughts because they are under the illusion that things outside of them, define them.
So when you have little to no ties to places or people that aren’t in alignment, you make yourself available to change!
The person that enjoys being alone will be a whole new person the next time you see them.
Along with a desire to understand themselves better with every experience, these changes will lead to a greater sense of independence.
One that combines the feelings of success and humility into one.
5) They are independent
An obvious one – but still relevant.
Perhaps the most relevant because independence can differentiate a person’s needs from their wants.
What they know that they need, they’ll fulfill it themselves. And what they know that they want, they’ll have fun with it!
Because they view social connections with a sense of responsibility.
Almost as if they’re aware of their own mortality?
Almost as if they want to make sure that the time they spend with others on this planet is spent wisely.
6) They are aware of their social responsibilities
I’ll admit, this one can appear a bit far-fetched.
But when I compare who I was before I was happy being alone to now, I can see clearly why I was so scared of my thoughts.
I like to believe most people with empathy have a conscience. And that our subconscious minds have the ability to see the bigger picture.
So when you live your life mindlessly running away from growing your awareness, it can form a heavy burden in the back of your head.
Confronting this was the most daunting task in my journey to independence. But it was worth it because I became more confident in the way I interacted with the world.
We are all told to be good, but everyone has their own reasons as to why. This helped me find my own to motivate my sense of accountability.
That we all have a responsibility to be kind to ourselves, others and the planet.
And that life is better-experienced head-on.
7) They can be polarizing
To some people, people who are comfortable being alone can have a polarizing effect.
They challenge people’s ideals regarding attachments and relationships because they don’t really need anyone.
As well as people’s blissful ignorance by having a taste for bringing the Ignored to the surface.
Because where they don’t need you, that means they have that much more room to love you intentionally.
And when they challenge you to face your fears, they just want you to free yourself from the pain that you can’t quite put your finger on.
Not to mention, a lot of people live their lives in a reactive way.
So they are not always making conscious choices due to their fear of being alone.
8) They are selective
As I was saying, they might leave you with a few question marks because you can’t influence someone that’s comfortable being alone.
They make their own decisions that have their best interest in mind, not yours.
But I also wanted to bring up selectiveness that resembles quirkiness.
Because what do you get when you combine a moderately shameless person and time alone to experiment?
Someone who is deeply aware of their likes and dislikes. Which might involve a unique style, or unconventional desires for their future.
And they’ll love to tell you about it.
9) They’re excellent communicators
When you know yourself deeply, you’ll have your own way of using language.
So communicating what you feel, think and desire will come naturally to those that are comfortable being alone.
I’ve been told that I’m really good at communicating and I used to believe it was because I have a Gemini placement.
But I’m starting to understand that it has more to do with my desire to be understood as I am, not in relation to a watered-down version of myself.
And I want the person I’m connecting with to truly see me! And I, them!
When you think of it like that, it gives getting in touch with yourself that much more meaning.
That having my best interest in mind is actually a way to have both of our best interests in mind.
10) They derive wisdom from within
Deep thinkers, they are!
When you seek advice externally to your detriment, what ends up happening is that you start following a path that isn’t yours.
Combining everything we’ve talked about above, making room for yourself through solitude paves a path that is meant for you.
I’d even go as far as to say that being alone became enjoyable because of all the realizations I’d have!
It all began when I proved my fears wrong by taking a leap of faith and surviving it.
Hold onto that feeling long enough, and you’ll witness yourself make sense of life’s greatest contradictions.
Like how being alone made me love people even more.
11) They love people
They don’t say that absence makes the heart grow fonder for nothing!
Beyond absence, I learned how to love people better by disproving my fears of being alone.
So many of us put unnecessary pressure on ourselves to be perfect, but it just keeps us from understanding what true grace feels like.
Imagine – to love people to love them, instead of loving them to not lose them.
Seeing something to love about every person you meet because you know there’s so much to love about yourself.
This also changed how I viewed boundaries because I was no longer setting them to control others or my ability to love.
Instead I embodied their true purpose: to help arrange my time and energy in a way that benefits my relationship with myself.
People who are truly comfortable being alone show others that it’s possible to be different and happy at the same time.
And even if people can’t understand, their ability to be responsible for themselves is worthy of respect.
Shattering norms and empowering others just by being themselves – if that’s not power, I don’t know what is.