in

The “me too” campaign won’t achieve anything unless we reframe the problem

Since “me too” went viral on Sunday, the internet is alive with stories of how the hashtag is exposing sexual harassment and sexual assault against women.

Really? How many more campaigns do we need to convince men that their behavior is appalling? This campaign is just another hopeless attempt at farting against Irma. It’s useless.

The campaign was started by actress Alyssa Milano on Sunday night in the wake of the Harvey Weinstein allegations. She asked women to post “me too” if they had been the victim of sexual harassment or sexual assault.

Predictably, these two simple words unleashed a storm of reactions on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram that had turned into millions by Monday. Sadly, this tally doesn’t include the millions of girls who are submitted to inappropriate sexual behavior in their homes.

Milano wrote: “If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote ‘Me too’ as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem.”

ADVERTISEMENT

We already know how widespread the problem is. It’s so endemic that if we started the hashtag “#never me”, we would have the count for all the women in the world in less than half an hour.


(We just released a new eBook: The Art of Resilience: A Practical Guide to Developing Mental Toughness. We highlight 20 of the most resilient people in the world and break down what traits they have in common. We then equip you with 10 resilience-building tools that you can start using today–in your personal life or professional career. Check it out here.)


Trying to change this scourge is like trying not to see when you open your eyes.

Once again it’s the women, the victims, who are at the center of the problem. And it’s not the women who are the problem. It’s men and their behavior.

Why don’t we reframe the problem?

We don’t need to bring the message to anyone of the magnitude of the men’s disregard for women. Fathers, brothers, cousins, uncles, friends, husbands, boyfriends have sexually humiliated, demeaned and violated the women in their orbit and on the fringes of it for eons. We all know it. Shouting about it has never changed anything.

What’s really sickening is the realization that every one of the millions of women who posted “me too” represent one or more men who have committed an act of violation.

That’s the message: millions of men violate women. Millions of Harvey Weinteins.

Men don’t need to hear this outcry of millions of women; they need to realize that they, their behavior, is behind it. This issue is always a woman’s issue; a victim’s issue. Why not a male issue, the predator’s issue, the bully’s issue? Because that’s the shameful thing, men can bully, hurt and assault women because men are physically stronger. A man just needs to behave in a threatening manner — because he’s bigger and stronger he can intimidate.

It’s bullies hiding behind bullies. When do men ever stop other men from mistreating a woman? Where is that conversation?

Can you imagine what would happen if we asked men to use the hashtag “me too” if they have ever sexually harassed or assaulted a woman or women?

RELATED ARTICLE: Women are being objectified more than ever. Here’s why.

More people like you...

… are supporting independent media and education platforms like Ideapod. Unlike many other media organizations, we have decided to make our writing free and accessible to all.

We have a vision of a world where power is returned to the people. Where individuals are inspired to break through limiting paradigms to find their own sources of creativity.

ADVERTISEMENT

This is as much an inner-journey as it is about changing the world. That’s why our writing ranges from personal development to world issues.

We need your support to continue doing what we do. If you find value in the articles you’re reading, please consider becoming a Prime member for as little as $4 monthly. You’ll experience Ideapod without advertisements and get special access to new products. Most importantly, you’ll be supporting a platform seeking to bring power back to within the people.

Thank you.

Written by Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

Redefining masculinity in the age of sexual assault and sex scandales

You need these creative thinking skills to navigate the globalized and automated world of work