Are you sick and tired of being called a disappointment?
If so, then it’s time to let go of it!
Being called a disappointment is the worst feeling in the world. It’s also one of the most common things that people are called on a regular basis.
You’ve heard it before. Your parents have looked you in the eye and said it. “You are such a disappointment.”
I know the feeling. But that doesn’t mean anything has to change.
Here’s what: if you’re feeling down after being told this by someone important, these are 15 ways to deal with being called a disappointment. Let’s get started!
15 things to do when you’re called a disappointment
1) Find out why you disappoint people
Why are you being called a disappointment?
It’s the question you secretly dread. But it’s also the only way to get over it. Because if you don’t know why you’re a disappointment, then how can you fix it?
So let’s discuss some possible reasons:
- You can’t meet others’ expectations (and you don’t need to!).
- You’re not the person they want you to be.
- You’re not as smart as people think you are.
- You don’t work hard enough.
- You can’t convince people to like you.
And the list can go on and on.
The truth is there are many reasons why you might be called a disappointment, and it’s up to you to decide which one applies in your case.
Once you know it, then it’s time to figure out: what if you feel comfortable about acting exactly that way? Is it really worth worrying about any of these reasons?
2) Realize that people aren’t perfect
You’re not perfect.
Yes, you read that right.
But you’re not the only one who isn’t perfect. In fact, no one is. There’s always someone who’s smarter than you, or funnier than you, or better at whatever it is that you are trying to do.
Imagine what it would be like if everyone were perfect. The world would be a pretty boring place, wouldn’t it?
So if you’re feeling down because you’re being called a disappointment, ask yourself this: is this person perfect? Not at all.
Are they better at the thing they’re telling me I’m not good at? Maybe. But maybe not.
In any case, keep in mind that you have your own standards. There’s no need to compare yourself with anyone else. Why?
Because you are you. And also, you’re unique. That’s a fact that you should definitely accept!
3) Stop trying to please people who don’t like you
Now stop right there and ask yourself: can you really please everyone?
Not really, right?
But if your answer was positive, remember: there are dozens of billions of people on our planet, and everyone has different needs and values.
Now think again.
You can’t please everyone. There will always be someone who doesn’t like you and doesn’t want to be around you.
And that’s okay!
It’s better to have a few true friends than to have a bunch of fake ones who don’t really care about you. So if someone’s calling you a disappointment, don’t spend time trying to convince them otherwise.
Because at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter what they think of you.
Think about it: if someone can say something bad about you without knowing anything about you, then that means they don’t really care about you or your feelings. They’re probably just being mean and trying to get a reaction out of you.
So stop worrying about them, and focus on what matters: having true friends who truly like and accept you for who you are!
4) Don’t let anyone else define your greatness for you
Have you ever wondered how greatness can be defined at all?
Are you great?
Is anybody great?
Let me explain. The key to getting over being called disappointment is neglecting others’ opinions. However selfish it might sound, sometimes that’s all you need to do. Why?
Because at the end of the day, you’re the one who gets to decide whether you’re a disappointment.
So if someone else is calling you that, ask yourself: do they know me? Do they know what makes me great?
Probably not. So why should you listen to what they have to say about it?
And if someone’s calling you a disappointment because of something you can’t help – like your looks or your interests or your abilities – then that means they have some pretty messed up standards!
No one should put so much pressure on themselves! And no one should be making so many comparisons between themselves and other people. It’s just not healthy!
So don’t let anyone else tell you that you’re a disappointment. Instead, think about what makes you great and what doesn’t.
5) You can be a disappointment and still be great at something
Let’s get back to “greatness” once again.
There’s a difference between being good at something and being great at something, isn’t there?
In fact, if you’re good at something, then there are plenty of people who are better than you.
If you’re great, then there aren’t many people who can even hold a candle to what you’ve done.
And if you’re truly great at something, then there’s probably no other way to describe you other than “great”.
And that’s exactly what makes someone great: being great at something. As simple as that.
So here’s the thing: even if you think you’re a disappointment, remember that you can be a disappointment and still be great at something.
6) Let go of the idea that you need to be liked by everyone
Let’s be honest: it’s impossible to be liked by everybody.
Even if you’re someone’s best friend, they may not like everything you do.
Even if you’re a teacher, a parent, or an employer, there will always be people who won’t like what you do.
And that’s okay! People are entitled to their own opinions and feelings. You can’t control that!
The good news is that you don’t need to be liked by everyone. But you do want to be loved by someone. And that’s completely different from being liked by everyone.
I know what it feels like, and I’m sure you do too when people say: “Oh, she’s so interesting! I love talking to her. ” And then you think: “I don’t know if I should tell her this secret.” Or, “I should talk about this with her.” Or maybe even: “I hope she doesn’t hate me.”
And when this happens – it’s pretty much the same experience as being told that you’re a disappointment. Because you don’t want to disappoint anyone.
And that’s what you should be afraid of. Not the idea that you’re a disappointment.
So, here’s the deal: don’t try to please everyone. Your life will be so much easier if you don’t!
7) Disappointing people isn’t the worst thing
If you think that being a disappointment is the worst thing that could ever happen to you, then I want you to stop and take a deep breath.
Because if you think about it, there are so many more terrible things that could happen to you.
For example: imagine someone close to you died. That would be terrible, right? And if they died because of something that happened because of something YOU did…that would be even worse!
And if this happened once or twice in your life, then I’d say: “Well…sorry for your loss.” But if it happened over and over again – then I’d say: “You know what? It’s time for an intervention.”
But here’s the good news: you are not the only one who has ever disappointed someone!
And if you think about it, you’re probably not even the person who has disappointed someone the most.
So if you’re feeling like a disappointment because of something that happened in your life, then I want you to remember that there are much worse things that could happen to you.
8) People will forget about your mistakes and failures
How many times have people disappointed you?
A few times? A lot? You can’t recall it?
Chances are you don’t even remember the exact moment when someone disappointed you. Don’t worry, it’s not a big deal. Why? Because people are forgetful.
When you’re a kid, it’s really easy to disappoint your parents because you don’t know anything about the world. You don’t know what you can do, and what you can’t do. You don’t know what your parents expect from you. And because of that, it’s very easy to disappoint them.
But as time goes on, they’ll forget about the things that happened between all of you – and they’ll move on with their lives. And so will you.
Which means what?
Whoever considers you a disappointment right now will forget about your mistakes – even if they were memorable at first.
And, by the way, just because someone forgets about what happened doesn’t mean they don’t love or care about you anymore.
So remember: when someone is disappointed in you, it doesn’t mean that they will remember this forever and ever. They will move on with their lives just like everyone else does.
9) Know that you are important
But what if someone doesn’t forget about your mistakes?
The answer is simple: you should remind yourself that you’re important. And you really are!
You’re important to the people around you. And even if you don’t feel like it right now, you’re important to yourself. And also, you’re enough!
If someone is disappointed in you, then this person still cares about you. And even if they don’t show it – they still love you a lot.
Just ask yourself: can’t you be disappointed by someone who’s not important to you? If you’ve ever felt disappointed by someone, then you probably have some feelings for them – they matter.
And similarly, you matter to other people.
This means that maybe being called a disappointment is not an absolutely bad thing after all!
10) Ask yourself if it’s really true
Is it really true that you’re a disappointment? Or is it just something someone else said?
This is not a trick question. It’s a simple question.
Think about it – do you think you’re a disappointment? If you answer yes, then it’s possible that someone else thinks the same thing about you.
But do they even know what they’re talking about? They might be wrong.
You might be more than what they say you are! Or at least, this is what I believe!
I believe that if someone says something bad about me, then I’m probably better than him/her/them in many ways! And if someone says something good about me – then I’m probably worse than them in many ways!
Because let’s be honest here: how could I be better than someone else in every way? It’s impossible!
People have to agree on something.
And if you’re a disappointment, then maybe the person who thinks so is a disappointment themselves. Maybe they didn’t succeed in their lives – and now they’re trying to take their anger out on you.
Or maybe they’re just jealous of you because you have something that they don’t have. Or maybe there’s some other reason for this!
But whatever the reason is, it doesn’t mean that what they say is true. It’s just their opinion of you! And it doesn’t make them right or wrong.
11) Don’t let the words “you are a disappointment” define you
Let’s say that you’re a disappointment. Or let’s say that someone thinks you’re a disappointment. Either way, it’s not really important.
Because the truth is – people can think whatever they want to think!
But when you let the words “you are a disappointment” define you, then there’s no point in trying to change your life or yourself. If someone says this about you, then it means that you’re already a failure and there’s nothing you can do about it!
And this is not true! Regardless of what others say about you, YOU are in charge of your life! You can live the way you want to live. You can change yourself for the better or for worse.
Here’s what to do: take a breather and realize how silly it is to be called a disappointment for something that was out of your control. It’s not like you planned for this or wanted it to happen. But then again, sometimes bad things just happen.
12) Learn how to be confident in yourself
I believe that if you’re confident in yourself, then you can do anything!
If you have something to say – then say it! If you want to do something, then go ahead and do it!
If somebody says something bad about you – then don’t let that get to your head.
Remember what I said above?
People can think whatever they want to think! And they might be wrong.
So don’t let their opinions of you make or break your confidence.
Instead, be confident in yourself and know that YOU are the one who makes YOU who YOU are. You define yourself by the way you act and the things that you do.
It’s important to have confidence. Because if you don’t have self-confidence, then you’ll never be able to stand up for yourself – and you’ll never be able to do what’s right for YOU. So, learn to love yourself and be confident in yourself.
13) Don’t allow negative people to control your life
Let’s say that someone says something bad about you or does something bad to you.
And then let’s say that this affects your life in a negative way.
For example: maybe it makes you feel sad, angry, or lonely. Or maybe it makes you feel like there’s no point in trying anymore because nothing will ever go right for you!
And this is when you need to realize that you are in control of your life. You are the one who decides what you do with your life and what you think about.
It’s easy to let other people control your life because they’re there, they’re real, and you can see them. But the truth is that YOU are the one who defines YOU!
So if someone says something bad about you or does something bad to you – then don’t let it get to your head. Don’t allow these things to control how you feel! Instead, just take a step back, breathe, and realize that these things don’t define who you are as a person. You don’t need to let them affect your life.
You are in control of your life!
14) Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself
This goes back to what I said above: It’s important not to let other people control your life by making you feel bad about yourself or by saying things that make you feel sad or angry.
What does it mean?
It means that if someone says something bad about you – then just ignore it. Don’t let it get to your head.
What’s important is that YOU know who you are and what your value is. And if someone says something bad about you, then just make a decision not to let that affect how you feel about yourself!
Don’t let it make you feel bad about yourself. Just let it go in one ear and out the other.
15) Accept yourself for who you are
And let me finish with the most important step of all.
This is the step that will allow you to do all the other steps on this list. This is the step that will make all the other steps easy, simple, and straightforward.
And that is: accept yourself for who you are.
Let me explain what I mean by this.
You see, if you don’t accept yourself for who you are – then you’ll never be able to do anything else on this list!
Because if you don’t accept who you are, then you’ll never be able to have self-confidence, or build self-esteem, or develop your personality, or find your passion, or follow your dreams… because there will always be something wrong with YOU!
If you can’t accept yourself for who you are, then how can anyone else? You need to accept that there’s nothing wrong with who you are. You need to accept that you’re a good person. There’s nothing wrong with you. You are perfect just the way you are!
Acceptance indeed matters. And once you accept yourself for who you are, then all the other things on this list will come naturally and effortlessly. Because once you accept yourself, then you’ll see that there’s nothing wrong with YOU!
So if any of these 15 steps seem like they’re too much to handle, then just focus on this one: Accept yourself for who you are. And everything else will fall into place.
So what do you think? Do these 15 steps seem like they might help? Or do they seem too complicated or hard to do?
I hope they can help you. Because I don’t want you to feel bad about yourself anymore.
So if any of these 15 steps strike a chord with you, then give them a try and see what happens!
And if any of them are too difficult or too complicated, then just focus on this one: Accept yourself for who you are. Because once you accept yourself for who you are – then the other steps will be easy!