What is the best way to get someone to like you? More importantly, how do you get people to see you as a reliable and genuine person?
For many people, it’s almost easier to pretend to be someone you aren’t so that you can fit in, whether in your job or social circles. Just remember that in doing so, you’ll never build a true and lasting connection.
You need to consistently be yourself.
When you don’t have to hide who you are, you’re naturally authentic, and that’s what people gravitate towards. Authenticity goes hand in hand with trustworthiness because authentic people don’t fake their personalities or their compassion for others.
If you’re struggling to build relationships and get people in your corner, consider these 10 behaviors that instantly make you seem authentic and trustworthy.
1) You accept who you are.
Think about this.
If you meet someone and get the impression that they’re hiding behind a false persona, would you trust them?
Of course not!
Even the best attempts at hiding who you really are will be uncovered. You cannot be pretentious and think that others will see you as a genuine person who has their best interests at heart.
Be sure to work on your self-esteem be yourself, and you’ll find that people will connect to you with honesty and integrity.
2) You stick to your promises.
It’s easy to be flippant about someone’s requests. You’re too busy or aren’t really interested in what they’re saying, and you don’t stick to your word.
So you let them down time and again.
I can tell you that it’s hurtful when someone can’t commit to their word. You question just how much they care or whether they respect how you feel.
Sticking to your promises will go a very long way toward building trustworthy relationships with others, and it puts you in a good light.
From your colleagues at work to family members, always make an effort to keep your promises because it reassures others that they can rely on you.
As a trustworthy person, commitment is important to you, and it is certainly an admirable trait.
3) You learn from your mistakes.
On the surface, learning from your mistakes might not seem like it’s related to authenticity and trustworthiness, but it’s all about showing humility.
You’re at work, and your boss confronts you for an error found in your latest report. You flare up and tell your colleagues that you think your boss doesn’t like you and wants you out.
In this scenario, it’s hard to see someone with this attitude as authentic. If you exaggerate the situation and you can’t keep your emotions in check, even though you are wrong, then it’s hard to consider yourself trustworthy.
What you might not realize is that humility is an outstanding trait.
The ability to acknowledge that you’ve failed and then to think about what you can take away from the experience shows that you’re dedicated to improving yourself.
4) You’re compassionate.
If you can show kindness and consideration towards others, you’ll always be seen as a truly authentic person.
Compassion is not an emotion or behavior that you can fake.
The ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes is a sign of emotional intelligence, and it shows in the way you treat people.
Everything from your body language to your attentiveness and even your smile will let someone know whether you’re being respectful and supportive.
It’s difficult to talk to someone who lacks consideration. They’re disinterested in your story, and they might force their opinions rather than listen to and respect yours.
Would I ever trust someone like this? Absolutely not.
Compassion and consideration allow you to be vulnerable, which makes you relatable. Because you can respect others, regardless of their background or differences in opinion, you make them feel safe.
5) You’re honest and transparent.
It’s hard to tell someone the truth, particularly when it might hurt them. The difference between someone who is authentic and someone who is disingenuous is their intention.
An authentic person who is concerned about the well-being of a friend or family member will approach a difficult topic with care. Their intention isn’t to belittle or hurt the person they talk to.
Whether a toxic relationship, a health concern, or a discussion about your future, someone who is reliable and authentic is honest without being harsh.
When a close friend of mine shared their opinion about my relationship, I didn’t want to hear it at first. Later, I appreciated their honesty because it came from an authentic place.
If you want to be considered genuine and trustworthy, you must be honest with the people you care about, provided the message is delivered with love and compassion.
6) You stand by your virtues.
There’s one thing that you can’t fault authentic people for, and that’s their ability to stick to their values no matter what.
When you know who you are and what you stand for, you don’t allow superficiality or peer pressure to influence your principles.
You know what is important to you.
This doesn’t involve impulsivity or changing who you are to fit in. Values guide your decisions, and they help to build a strong sense of self.
What are values, and why do they matter?
A value system is based on what you believe in and the rules you play by to make informed or life-changing decisions. Everything from your financial interests to what makes you happy is part of your values.
If you believe in something, stand by it, and you’ll see that others will respect you for it.
7) You respect healthy boundaries.
“If you can’t say no, people will just walk all over you.” “How can someone respect you if you’re always a people-pleaser?”
Sounds harsh, doesn’t it?
These were the words of a close friend who grew tired of my “lack of boundaries.”
Honestly, I appreciated their observation because I wasn’t even aware that I was allowing other people to take advantage of me.
When you’re a trustworthy person, you don’t take advantage of others, and you always respect their boundaries.
This means that you don’t force your opinions or ideas on others. You’re not intolerant of different perspectives, and you respect when someone says no. This applies to professional and romantic relationships.
Remember that boundaries are the rules that we create to let someone know how to treat us.
People will definitely have a healthy respect for you if you can set your own rules and respect the boundaries of others.
8) You are consistent.
If you met someone who changed their behavior from one day to the next, you would definitely steer clear of them!
A trustworthy individual is consistent in their behavior and character, even when circumstances change. They also don’t change who they are to impress others.
If you’re dating someone and each time they’re in the company of friends, they behave differently than when they are with you; it’s a red flag.
It shows an inability to be themselves, and you would never fully trust a person who changes or pretends depending on who they are talking to.
Consistency means that you are who you say you are.
You don’t hide behind a mask when you interact with different people. Let’s just say your body language and what comes out of your mouth are congruent.
When you are consistent, you’re dependable. That makes you authentic.
9) You’re a good listener.
You might not think much about listening as a dependable behavior, but many people would agree that they will hold you in high esteem when you listen to what they say.
Whether that involves catching up on a client’s order at work or supporting your partner after a rough day, the ability to let someone express themselves without interjecting or turning the conversation onto you is a favorable trait.
When you really listen, you validate the other person.
They feel heard and that what they have to say is important. You might not agree with their description of events or their perspectives, but you know when it’s appropriate to be a good listener.
10) You are reliable.
You show up when you say you will, and you recognize the importance of upholding commitments. Those who know you wouldn’t hesitate to describe you as reliable.
If you want to seem trustworthy and authentic, you’ve got to prove that you can be relied upon no matter the situation.
Think about it.
If I had to meet up with you to work on a report and every night you were late or came up with an excuse, I would believe that you’re pretty unreliable.
I would never trust you, and as I’d be under the impression that you have an ulterior motive, I wouldn’t think of you as a genuine person either.
It’s simple enough. Stick to your commitments, and be supportive and attentive when people talk to you or ask you for something.
Regardless of who it is, if someone constantly lets you down or oversteps your boundaries, there’s no way that you’ll see them as a reliable person.
Trustworthy and authentic behaviors are all about showing commitment, consistency, and emotional maturity.
When you trust someone, you feel like you can tell that person anything and that you can be yourself without being judged.
So, if you want to be considered more trustworthy and seen as authentic, it’s time to start working on those behaviors that will make you happy and help you shine bright.