10 behaviors that make you look insecure (and what to do instead)

Let’s face it, confidence plays a huge role in how we navigate through life.

As much as we wish we could take a peek into someone’s soul before making any judgments, the reality is that many of us unconsciously form opinions based on how confident a person appears.

It might not be fair, but that’s just the way it goes.

So, if you want to leave a lasting impression, it’s time to ditch those habits that make you seem less confident.

In this article, we’re going to explore 10 such behaviors and help you unleash your inner confidence.

Let’s get started!

1. Over-apologizing

Are you the type who says sorry for everything, even when it’s not your fault?

Though you may believe you’re just being polite, this behavior can actually signal a lack of confidence.

It’s as if you’re subconsciously putting yourself beneath others.

So, let’s turn that around!

Make a conscious effort to only apologize when you’ve genuinely done something wrong.

Remember, if it’s not your mistake, there’s no need to say sorry! Embrace your worth and stand tall. 

2. Speed-talking or getting hyper

Ever catch yourself speaking at lightning speed or in an overly enthusiastic manner?

While you might think it helps get your point across, it can actually make you come across as anxious or insecure.

No worries, though. Instead of letting your words race away from you, take a moment to breathe and slow down.

Focus on speaking calmly and clearly, and you’ll notice how much more confident you sound.

Remember, your thoughts and opinions are valuable, so give them the time and space they deserve.

3. Overdoing the niceness

There’s a fine line between being genuinely kind and being overly nice, and crossing that line can give off an insecure vibe.

While it’s essential to treat others with respect, bending over backwards just to please everyone might make you appear as though you’re seeking approval.

Here’s a tip: focus on being authentic and true to yourself. It’s totally okay to say ‘no’ or express your opinion, even if it differs from others.

Trust me, standing up for yourself and maintaining your boundaries will not only boost your confidence, but also earn you the respect of those around you.

4. Hesitating to be direct or straightforward

Being vague or beating around the bush can make you appear insecure or unsure of yourself.

It’s important to be clear and concise in your communication, even if it feels a bit uncomfortable at first.

Practice being direct and to the point without coming across as rude or aggressive.

Trust in the value of your thoughts and opinions, and articulate them with confidence.

By doing so, you’ll not only establish yourself as someone who knows what they want, but also create genuine connections with others built on honesty and respect.

Give it a go, and watch your confidence soar!

5. Dodging conversations about yourself

Have you ever found yourself steering clear of sharing personal stories or talking about your achievements?

While a little modesty is great, being overly evasive can come across as insecure.

But don’t worry, we’re here to help you strike the perfect balance.

Instead of avoiding conversations about yourself, learn to embrace your accomplishments and experiences.

Share your passions, interests, and the moments that have shaped you. You deserve to shine, so don’t shy away from letting your true self be seen and celebrated!

6. Failing to take the initiative

Not stepping up or taking charge when the situation calls for it can make you seem insecure or indecisive.

But fear not, because you have the power within you to change that perception.

Embrace your inner leader and start taking the initiative, whether it’s at work, in social settings, or even in your personal life.

Remember, it’s all about believing in your abilities and taking calculated risks.

As you put yourself out there and show the world that you’re ready to lead, you’ll not only build your confidence but also inspire those around you.

7. Agreeing with others just to keep the peace

Ever found yourself nodding along to someone’s opinion, even when you don’t truly agree with it?

It’s a common behavior for people who want to avoid conflict or please others, but it can also make you appear insecure.

The good news is, you can change this! Instead of merely agreeing for the sake of harmony, learn to express your own thoughts and opinions with respect and confidence.

Practice the art of disagreeing without being disagreeable, and show people that you have a mind of your own.

In doing so, you’ll not only build your self-esteem but also earn the admiration of those around you.

Stand tall and let your authentic voice be heard, my friend!

8. The habit of interrupting others

Interrupting people is a behavior that can make you seem not only less confident but also downright impolite – and I’m sure that’s not the vibe you want to give off!

The thing is, when we interrupt others, it may convey that:

  • We’re not really interested in what they have to say
  • We’re afraid our voice won’t be heard
  • We lack confidence in our listening and responding skills, disrupting the conversation’s natural flow

But don’t stress, my friend! This is a habit you can definitely break.

Here’s what you can do:

If you’re worried you’ll forget your thoughts by waiting for the other person to finish, make a mental note or discreetly jot it down.

Before jumping in with your two cents, take a deep breath. This pause will help you gauge if the other person has truly finished speaking or if it’s just a brief pause.

By honing your listening skills and being more mindful of when to speak, you’ll not only come across as more confident but also a genuinely attentive and respectful conversationalist. Give it a shot!

9. The scramble of unpreparedness

Ever find yourself bolting out the door just minutes before an important meeting, only to arrive disheveled, stressed, and gasping for breath?

Yep, that’s a surefire way to come across as less confident and definitely unprepared – not to mention, it’s a tad unprofessional.

But don’t worry, we’ve got you covered with some simple tips:

  • Set your morning alarm a bit earlier to savor your coffee and get ready without the mad rush.
  • Plan ahead by preparing as much as possible the night before (think lunch, work attire, and essentials in your bag).
  • When it comes to meetings or speeches, give yourself ample time (a few weeks) to research, jot down notes, and rehearse your presentation, rather than cramming it all in at the last minute.

By embracing these changes, you’ll not only exude confidence and professionalism but also feel more relaxed and in control. Trust me, your future self will thank you!

10. Comparing yourself to others 

We’ve all been there – scrolling through social media or sizing up our achievements against those of our peers, only to end up feeling inadequate.

Comparing yourself to others is a slippery slope that can quickly erode your confidence, leaving you feeling insecure and unhappy.

But guess what? You have the power to break free from this self-imposed trap.

Start by recognizing that everyone’s journey is unique, and your path is yours alone.

Embrace your own story, with all its twists and turns, and focus on your personal growth. Set achievable goals for yourself and don’t forget to celebrate your victories, big and small.

Another powerful way to build self-confidence is to practice gratitude daily.

Remind yourself of the strengths, talents, and achievements that make you the incredible person you are.

This way, you’ll shift your focus inward and embrace your individuality.

By letting go of comparisons and celebrating your own unique awesomeness, you’ll not only cultivate self-confidence but also discover a newfound appreciation for the amazing person you are.

So go ahead, break free from the comparison trap, and embrace your true, confident self!


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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the editor of Ideapod and founder of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 6 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you to want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.

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