8 behaviors a true gentleman will never tolerate in a relationship

What do women really want?

It’s a question that has men stumped since the dawn of time.

Well, according to Cosmo, it’s someone polite, chivalrous, and cordial. In other words, a gentleman.

That said, it’s one thing to want a gentleman, but how do you bag one (and keep him)?

Here’s the twist.

Research shows, that men and women (mostly) have similar preferences when it comes to finding a lifelong romantic partner. 

For instance, kindness, understanding, intelligence, and excitement.

So, the real question should be…

If these are the characteristics he wants in a partner, which ones will push him away?

Don’t worry, I’ve got your back.

Here are eight behaviors a true gentleman will never tolerate in a relationship.

1) Jealousy


We often take this small five-letter word for granted. 

But we shouldn’t.

Psychologists agree that trust is the backbone of any healthy relationship. And without it, a romance might be doomed before it even begins.

However, taking that leap of faith isn’t always easy. 

For one, it requires a certain amount of vulnerability. Not to mention, a bucket load of confidence.

And that’s the key thing here – confidence. 

Jealousy is the opposite of that. It’s a telltale sign of insecurity and low self-esteem.  It’s a major turn-off. 

Especially when (as a true gentleman) they haven’t given you a reason to not trust them. 

2) Dishonesty

For a true gentleman, his word is his bond. 

In other words, when he says something – he means it.  That’s because he holds honesty in high regard. And that goes for you too. 

In fact, he can’t abide lies of any kind (big or small). It’s not very honorable behavior and it goes against every fiber of his being (not forgetting his core values). And the research backs him up. 

So, if he suspects that you’re being dishonest with him (even for a moment), it’ll likely be a dealbreaker. 

After all, a solid relationship is built on open communication, and any breach of trust is a serious offense in his eyes.

And I think most people would concur. 

3) Selfishness

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think of a gentleman?

Is it politeness, reliability… maybe charm?

Well, what if I said, considerate?  That’s right.

Gentlemen are inherently considerate of others and they pride themselves on being selfless. 

As you can imagine, selfish people have no place in their world. It’s a major red flag that goes against the spirit of a loving partnership.

Instead, he prefers a partner who values the relationship over individual desires as much as he does. 

So, whether it’s decision-making, compromising, or the sharing of responsibilities he expects to get the same back as he puts in.

4) Disrespect

According to psychologists, disrespect is one of the biggest signs that you’re in a toxic relationship. Something that relationship therapist Jor-El Caraballo says can be incredibly “draining.”

You name it…

Disparaging comments, insulting remarks, or belittling gestures. They’re the perfect mix to make your partner feel unloved and unhappy. 

What’s more, this unsavory behavior is unacceptable in his eyes. It’s just plain rude.

In contrast, a true gentleman expects mutual respect. He recognizes that it’s crucial for the emotional well-being of everyone involved.

After all, I think we could all do with a little more politeness in the world. 

partner codependent 8 behaviors a true gentleman will never tolerate in a relationship

5) Codependency

We get it, you’re in a relationship. But that doesn’t mean you’re not your own person. 

At the end of the day, a true gentleman values independence and individual growth. 

For instance…

Encouraging each other’s passions, hobbies, and pursuits.

The truth is, he can’t tolerate a relationship where one partner is overly dependent. Something that may stifle his (or your) personal development.

And he’s not wrong.

Independence is a vital aspect of a healthy relationship. In fact, research shows that autonomy (or independence) in a relationship leads to better fulfillment and a greater sense of self all around.  

In short, they thrive.

Conversely, those in a codependent relationship are more likely to suffer from boundary issues (among other things).

This includes the relationship becoming one-sided, which is another thing he can’t tolerate. 

6) Intransigence 

Compromise is a fundamental aspect of any successful relationship. It can help you mend fences, find a middle ground, and build a lasting connection.

Most importantly, it demonstrates mutual respect. A key element of any high-functioning relationship.

Here’s the thing…

A true gentleman understands that, for a relationship to work, it’s about give and take. 

If only one person is doing all the taking (and none of the giving) it can lead to resentment and imbalance in the relationship.

As a result, he’ll prefer to steer clear of people (and partners) who are unwilling to make concessions and compromise. 

7) Stubbornness

We all make mistakes – it’s inevitable. But it’s how we handle ourselves after that makes all the difference. 

A true gentleman believes in accountability, apologizing, and forgiveness.

And when it comes to dating and marriage, studies suggest that forgiveness is the key to relationship satisfaction.

Additionally, the ability to mend and move forward is crucial for a relationship’s resilience.

So, if you’re someone who refuses to apologize for their wrongdoings or struggles to forgive others for their mistakes, your future together doesn’t look very bright.

Otherwise, it might be time for some humble pie. 

8) Secrecy 

Whatever your differences or beliefs (good or bad news) communication is paramount for couples both new and old. 

Not only does it allow for better conflict management but it also helps predict relationship satisfaction over time.

What’s more, it’s the perfect way to enrich your relationship by sharing your thoughts, feelings, likes, and dislikes. 

Basically, get to know each other. 

That way, you’re able to provide greater emotional support. Not to mention, strengthen your bond and feelings of intimacy. 

Healthy discussions and the ability to express oneself openly are essential for a strong and lasting connection.

It’s a way to connect on more levels than one. 

So, if you recognize any of the above behaviors, it might be time for some deep introspection if you want to see where this relationship leads.

Picture of Leila El-Dean

Leila El-Dean

Leila is a passionate writer with a background in photography and art. She has over ten years of experience in branding, marketing, and building websites. She loves travelling and has lived in several countries, including Thailand, Malaysia, Spain, and Malta. When she’s not writing (or ogling cats), Leila loves trying new food and drinking copious amounts of Earl Grey tea.

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