7 reasons to never say “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”

Have you ever thought that beauty is something that you can define?

Well, think again! Some phrases become popular and cliche, like “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

This common phrase is a fallacy. It has been perpetuated by centuries of social conditioning. It can be a very harmful belief.

Yes, it is true, we don’t experience life the same as each other. What one person sees as beauty another can see as something repulsive.

I’m not saying that you can’t disagree about what is beautiful. What I want to bring to light is that most people agree about what’s beautiful and strive for them. But some things just aren’t.

There’s no way to argue about this because it’s a fact. Some things are just plain ugly, tragic, and horrible to experience.

The Glorious Myth of Beauty

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This belief has led to countless challenges for women and men over the years.

In some cultures, having light skin shows that you have wealth because you don’t need to work in the fields. While other cultures promote spray-on tans and taking the sun to show that they can take time off work to go to a sunny holiday location in the middle of winter.

Some cultures have practices like foot-binding that make movement and walking painful and difficult, and this is considered beautiful. Others have face tattoos to show they are part of a specific tribe, but this can be something that will look very out of place in a large, western city.

These changes of skin tones aren’t a sign of beauty, it’s a sign of status and wealth.

Many myths exist in cultural beliefs of beauty, for example:

  • Beauty is only skin deep.
  • Beauty is a physical expression.
  • You can’t be beautiful if you don’t have money.
  • You can’t be beautiful if you’re not slim.
  • You can’t be beautiful if you don’t have a good physical appearance
  • You can’t be beautiful if you don’t have thick and luxurious hair
  • You can’t be beautiful if you don’t have a clear complexion.
  • You can’t be beautiful if you don’t have a shining white smile.

So, keeping this in mind, here are 7 reasons why you should never say “beauty is In the eye of the beholder”.

Let’s jump in:

1) Beauty is a lie

The idea that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is a lie.

Beauty is not what you see with your eyes. This is a limiting and superficial ideal of beauty.

Some people focus solely on physical standards that are set by society. Some of these standards include an ideal height, hair color, skin color, or how strong your physique is. This changes drastically over history and in different cultures. You cannot be placed in a box for beauty.

The classification of beauty is subjective and varies from person to person.

2) Beauty is a billion-dollar business

The world of beauty is big business. Think about how much you spend on beauty products in a year.

People will pay to have surgeries to augment the size of their breasts, darken their eyelashes, and lift patches of their skin so that they can have a different external look that is more ‘beautiful’.

However, what most people don’t realize is that the companies that sell these products and procedures all need to make lots of money.

So they will do whatever it takes to get you to buy as much as possible. They will sell skin whitening cream, wrinkle cream, bronzing cream, and products that try to change your scars and levels of cellulite.

Magazines and videos show us, ladies, how to apply smokey eye makeup and puffed-up, red lips that become war paint that we use to attract men when we go out on dates.

So, how does this make you feel?

You might look like a weapon of beauty, but do you feel beautiful in those stilettos?

Do you believe that beauty is a big business that’s playing on your insecurities for its benefit?

3) Beauty should be about truth and reality, not lies and manipulation

True beauty can be based less on appearance and more on our character. Beauty can be about truth, reality, and self-acceptance.

And yes, beauty can relate to how you view yourself and what you see in the mirror every morning.

Do you feel good when you look at yourself? More importantly, do you love yourself as a person?

These are questions that you need to explore yourself. Not have a standard imposed upon you that you think is yours.

There’s no need to “fake it till you make it” to be beautiful. However, it’s important to embrace your natural beauty, wherever you are on the beautiful-to-ugly scale.

But what if you could change from thinking about beauty in such a superficial way?

The truth is, most of us never realize how much power and potential lies within us.

We become bogged down by continuous conditioning from society, the media, our education system, and more.

So what is the result?

The reality we create becomes detached from the reality that lives within our consciousness.

I learned this (and much more) from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandé. In this excellent free video, Rudá explains how you can lift the mental chains and get back to the core of your being.

A word of caution – Rudá isn’t your typical shaman.

He doesn’t paint a pretty picture or sprouts toxic positivity like so many other advisors or teachers do.

Instead, he’s going to honestly force you to look inwards and confront the demons within.

He offers a powerful approach, but one that works. He asks you to look deep within yourself and see what beauty lies within.

So if you’re ready to take this first step and align your dreams with your reality, there’s no better place to start than with Rudá’s unique technique.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

4) Beauty is a standard

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Beauty isn’t a specific thing that you can try to achieve.

You can make changes to yourself on the outside. There are things that you can do to augment your appearance that might make you feel more beautiful on the outside.

But then how does this relate to beauty being in the eye of the beholder?

If you are doing something to appease someone else, then it’s a mask. Beauty is not a game of masks and facades.

It can be an inner power. It’s empowering when we learn how to love ourselves and stop comparing ourselves to others.

So, what does beauty mean to you?

Perhaps you could think of beauty in terms of things like kindness, honesty, and helpfulness.

Perhaps it’s how you care for your aging parents? Or how you treat your coworkers and neighbors.

I invite you to start exploring these questions for yourself.

5) Beauty isn’t power

Beauty isn’t power. It’s not a weapon that can make the whole world bow to you. Beauty doesn’t give you power over other people, no matter how famous or popular you are.

You are beautiful just the way you are. This is your truth and reality. And it’s the truth that everyone needs to hear!

If you’re struggling with self-acceptance, then it’s time to change your mindset and heart, not your hair color.

You don’t need to spend thousands of dollars on clothes and makeup or services at the hair salon to be beautiful.

You are beautiful just the way you are. And there’s no need to pretend you’re something you’re not.

You can transform your life in a way where beauty isn’t even relevant because you feel so empowered and accepting of who you are as a person.

So again, if you’re ready to take the step to get to know your inner self more deeply, there’s no better place to start than with Rudá’s unique technique

Here’s a link to the free video again.

6) Beauty is about self-acceptance and honesty

No matter how much make-up you wear, or how many times you change your hair color, it won’t change your inner beauty. But being honest with yourself will.

You’re beautiful just the way you are, no matter what anyone tells you or what they say on social media.

The inner beauty of a person can’t be seen with the human eye, but that doesn’t make it any less real. So instead of trying to change the way you look on the outside, can you focus on changing the way you feel on the inside?

Sure, it’s one thing to be healthy and take care of your body. But when you take things a step further and start reaching for deeper levels of self-acceptance and love for yourself, then truly beautiful things start to happen in your life.

You begin to appreciate your talents, skills, life experience, intuition… everything that makes you who you are. It’s hard for others to put up a facade or mask when they are accepting of themselves with all their flaws and imperfections.

Beauty comes from the inside out. What some people refer to as “inner beauty” are your personality and character. These traits help determine your overall health and self-esteem.

7) Beauty is a mirror of self-love

Beauty reflects self-love, which means you’re more likely to be attracted to people who have healthier self-esteem.

However, if you lack self-confidence or if you don’t love yourself, it’s unlikely that others will love you either.

Surround yourself with others who love you for you. Not because they think you are beautiful or not. There is a difference.

I guarantee that if you start loving yourself, you will begin to love others around you. And what can be more beautiful than that?

There’s nothing more beautiful than being so open and accepting of who you are and accepting others with all their flaws and shortcomings. This has very little to do with outside standards of beauty.

The more we learn to love the more we can connect.

If this happens, true beauty is revealed in the world, which can only ever reflect love, peace, and happiness in return.

So now what?

How do we stop selling the notion of beauty to one another? How do we love more?

We have to drop the idea that there is a standard that we can look for in each other.

We need to forget the idea that ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder”.

Get to love and know yourself instead.

Start loving yourself now – right now! That love will spread and radiate out to those you encounter.

The “Out of the Box” is a program to help you reconnect with your inner self and release the chains of social pressure and expectations. If you are feeling low about how you look or feel, it’s a great way to get in and start asking yourself why and take more control over your life.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

You can’t change the world in one day, but you can transform your inner world.

Knowledge is power.

There’s so much wisdom out there on how to better ourselves from within and from outside of ourselves. But sometimes it’s taken for granted when we don’t practice it daily.

Embrace the freedom to be yourself and love yourself for who you are today!

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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