11 bare minimum things every person deserves in a relationship

Every relationship is different, which means that no two of them are the same. If nothing else, that should provide you with a good reason why you shouldn’t compare your own relationship to those of other people.

Still, there are some things that you should expect from every relationship as a default, and that’s what we’re going to take a look at today.

Let’s dive on in and take a look at 11 of the bare minimum things that everyone deserves in their relationship.

1) Love

What’s the point of a relationship without love?

Every good relationship is based on love, and that’s true both of friendships and romantic relationships.

At their heart, every interpersonal relationship is based upon the feelings between two people, and if you’ve decided to share your life with someone, you’d better make damned sure that you love one another.

The good news is that love is powerful, so if you use it as the basis of your relationship, you’re getting off to the best possible start. It’s the relationships that are built on love which tend to stand the test of time, and they’re also the relationships that everyone compares their own to.

Not that you should do that, of course.

2) Honesty

If love forms the rocks that your relationship is built upon, honesty forms the cement that holds those rocks together.

When you and your partner are honest and open with one another, you can start to plan for a future together instead of worrying that the past might come back to haunt you. I’ve also noticed that being honest with my partner means that we can tackle problems early instead of leaving them to simmer.

Honesty between you and your partner will foster an openness which will pay dividends throughout your entire relationship. It will help you to have those difficult discussions and to make educated, intelligent decisions about your future as a couple.

Honestly (see what I did there?), you shouldn’t need me to give you reasons why honesty is a good idea.

3) Support

A loving partner will support you in everything you do, even if they don’t understand exactly why you’re doing it.

For example, my partner is more than happy to give me the space I need to focus on my writing, and I’ve returned the favor by helping her to turn the living room into a studio for her art and her pottery.

When she’s having a bad day and considering throwing her art in the trash, I’m the first person to say that she has talent and shouldn’t waste it.

Having the support of your partner is important because the world is going to try to tear you down enough as it is. A supportive partner will give you the strength you need to keep going, even when times are at their hardest.

Your partner should be your number one fan. And if they’re not, perhaps it’s time for you to look for a new partner.

 4) Respect

Respect is important for every relationship, because without respect, you’ll end up with one person in the relationship taking advantage of the other.

Of course, the other thing to remember is that respect shouldn’t be given away for free – it has to be earned. In most relationships, you’ll earn this respect naturally over time, but you shouldn’t expect it to be a given.

You can earn respect from your partner by respecting them and by doing your best to stick to your word when you give it. If you promise to pick your partner up after work or to give them a massage at the end of a long shift, you’d better make sure that you do so.

When you have respect, you’ll know. And the same is true when you don’t.

5) Clear communication

Communication is important because it’s the tool you’ll use to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page.

At the end of the day, you’re a team. Like any team, your performance will depend upon whether you’re able to effectively communicate. The better you communicate, the more likely you are to stand the test of time.

This clear communication covers the whole spectrum, from making sure that your partner understands what you want out of life to making sure that they know the right time to come and pick you up.

Clear communication is also what’s going to make it easier for you to solve any conflicts that come along.

6) Empathy

In case you’re not familiar with the term, empathy is defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary as “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts and experience of another”.

So what does this mean for your relationship? Well, for a start, you’re going to need to see things from your partner’s point of view.

When you’re making decisions, especially important ones, you’ll need to empathize with your partner and understand how those decisions might affect them.

Empathy can also come in handy during arguments. Instead of just automatically getting defensive or reacting with anger, you can try to understand where your partner is coming from. You might just find that you’re arguing over nothing or that what you once thought was important no longer is.

And isn’t that always the way? It seems like every argument I’ve ever been involved in was over nothing.

7) Laughter

Laughter brings people together, which is one of the many reasons why people like stand-up comedy.

In fact, laughter is so powerful that there’s a form of yoga called laughter yoga which is based around the idea that laughter provides psychological and physical benefits to people.

Now, you might not want to practice laughter yoga with your partner, but there’s no denying that couples that laugh together tend to stay together.

Part of this is because if you and your significant other have a similar sense of humor or you share in-jokes that no one else will appreciate, it’s a little bit like having your own private language. I only have to say the word “thumb” and my partner knows exactly what I’m talking about.

And before you ask, no, I’m not going to tell you.

8) Forgiveness

English writer Alexander Pope famously said, “To err is human; to forgive, divine.”

This was Pope’s way of acknowledging that we all make mistakes and that it’s important for us to be able to forgive others for theirs.

This is even more important for relationships because when we consider that those mistakes are inevitable, we need to have a way to mitigate them.

So if your partner is willing to forgive you, it’s a good sign that you’re in a healthy, loving relationship.

At the same time, bear in mind that it’s not a good idea to test them or to push it. Don’t think you can get away with repeatedly cheating on them, just because they’re a forgiving partner.

And of course, don’t forget to return that forgiveness.

9) Reliability

A good partner is trustworthy and reliable. And for obvious reasons.

It’s important for a partner to be reliable because you’ll need to trust them at all times. They’ll prove their reliability over time, which is arguably what building a long-term relationship is all about.

Believe it or not (and if you’re not new to the dating game, you’ll believe it), it’s difficult to find a partner that you can trust. Most people aren’t that lucky, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t all deserve to find someone trustworthy.

We’re talking about the bare minimum that everyone deserves, after all. Just because we deserve it, it doesn’t mean we get it.

10) Privacy

Privacy should be a basic human right.

Now, you’ll hear folks out there who think the government should be able to read everyone’s emails and who will say things like, “I haven’t got anything to hide.”

Those same people would rarely be happy if their browsing history was published or if their spouse knew what they’d bought them for Christmas.

We all have secrets and we all expect privacy. No matter how much we love our partner, we probably don’t want them to walk in on us when we’re in the bathroom, at least not without warning.

If you’re in a healthy relationship, your partner will respect (point #4, anyone?) your privacy and allow you to do things in private if you want to.

There’s a big difference between enjoying your right to privacy and actively keeping secrets from your partner.

11) Growth

I firmly believe that if you’re not growing, you’re stagnating.

People change, hopefully for the better. That’s what people do, and trying to stop it would be as foolish as trying to stop the world from turning.

The good news is that when you’re in a loving, nurturing relationship, your partner will support that growth and do what they can to encourage it to continue.

Because we all inherently change as time goes by, if we want our relationship to stand the test of time, we need to embrace our partner’s changes. The person you love today won’t be the same person in ten years, and neither will you.

But if you support and embrace each other as you change and grow, there’s no reason why you can’t love each other just as much, if not more. And I think that’s a happy enough note to end on.