Strong and often in the spotlight, there are many qualities that make an alpha female an attractive partner.
Alpha females know what they want and they’re prepared to do the work to get it.
But neither is she for the faint of heart. Some men can be intimidated by the alpha female and her straighforwardness.
So what are alpha females in relationships really like?
If you’re an alpha female yourself, or perhaps dating one, here are 10 powerful characteristics of alpha females in a relationship.
1) She is independent
Far from needy, an alpha female in a relationship is fiercely independent.
She is likely to have a well-rounded and full life. As ambition and success are the hallmarks of an alpha female, she has several other areas of focus that also demand her time and attention — whether that’s her career, her other relationships, hobbies and interests.
Dating an alpha female, don’t expect her to build her entire world around you. She isn’t the clingy type. She’s happy to do her own thing and can take care of herself.
2) She is confident
An alpha female in a relationship understands her worth. She will come across as confident and comfortable in her own skin, which can be incredibly sexy.
In groups of people, she appears extrovert and doesn’t feel inferior to anyone.
In romantic relationships, she is probably happy to be the one who makes the first move or initiate sex.
Her self-assurance may come across as arrogant to some, but perhaps only because she isn’t easily intimidated. Her confidence comes from within. It’s not something she needs to work at.
3) She knows how to get things done
An alpha female knows how to get things done. She is organized, efficient, and proactive. She makes sure she gets everything done on time.
It’s all part of her natural leadership skills which she is also likely to put to use within her relationships too.
If you’re going on vacation, or just a dinner out, she is happy to take charge and make the plans.
If something needs doing, she’ll be the first person to jump into action and lead rather than waiting around to be rescued.
4) She is ambitious
An alpha female wants more than just a good relationship. She wants a great relationship, marriage, and family life.
She wants to create a legacy for her children and grandchildren. This means being successful in both her professional and personal life.
Whilst people don’t always think of alpha females as family orientated, research suggests this isn’t true.
For example, studies have shown that alpha females have very strong relationships with their parents, particularly their moms.
5) She is determined
It’s true that an alpha female personality can be incredibly determined.
On a positive note, she is tenacious and not quick to give up. Of course, this strong will can mean in a relationship she might at times be pushy or determined to get her own way.
After all, research has suggested that:
“Alpha females have the intrinsic traits of being competitive, controlling, and aggressive.”
Ultimately, alpha females are strong.
That strength of character can be both a source of passion and allure as well as a point of conflict at times.
6) She inspires her partner
We all know that who we surround ourselves with is important. Here lies one of the most powerful characteristics of an alpha female in a relationship. Alpha females are impactful.
As research highlights:
“They are natural leaders, bringing out the best qualities in people around them.” And this goes for her partner too.
Dating an alpha female is the best for a guy who wants to achieve big things. Because as someone who aims for excellence in her own life, she encourages the same in her man.
This sense of purpose she brings with her to a relationship helps her man find more meaning in his own life.
It’s why plenty of guys feel ten feet tall with an alpha female by their side. There’s actually a psychological term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the ‘hero instinct’.
This concept is generating a lot of buzz at the moment as a way to explain what really drives men in relationships.
Don’t be fooled by the name, I know in this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. Certainly not an alpha female!
They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives. But this misses the point about what the hero instinct is all about.
The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in their lives. This is deeply rooted in male biology. So a challenging woman who encourages him to be his best can be great at triggering it.
When a man genuinely feels like your everyday hero, he’ll become more loving, attentive, and committed to being in a long-term relationship with you.
But how do you trigger this instinct in him?
The trick is to make him feel like a hero in an authentic way. And there are things you can say and messages you can send to trigger this natural biological instinct.
If you want some help doing this, check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here.
I don’t often recommend videos or buy into popular new concepts in psychology, but the hero instinct is one of the most fascinating concepts I’ve come across.
7) She speaks her mind
We’ve all heard 1001 times how healthy relationships rely on effective communication. An alpha female in a relationship is an effective communicator.
She will be honest and straightforward with you. That means speaking her mind. She won’t hold back when she wants something from you.
If you’re wondering what the alpha female traits in bed are, expect her to tell you exactly what she does and doesn’t like.
Rather than sulking and passively-aggressively keeping it to herself when she’s upset, an alpha female is going to let you know how she is feeling and what she is thinking.
⌄ Scroll down to continue reading the article ⌄
Suffering from Empty and Draining Relationships?
The legendary shaman Rudá Iandê reveals the 3 most important factors to healthy and loving relationships (and to experience them right now).
⌄ Scroll down to continue reading the article ⌄
Even if you don’t always like what she has to say, you know where you stand with her.
8) She is emotionally intelligent
Research has revealed that alpha females have very high emotional intelligence.
That means she can recognize, understand and manage both her own emotions and other people’s. This brings with it an important self-awareness and sensitivity within relationships.
An alpha female knows how to read other people. She understands how people think and so knows how to react to different situations.
This can be particularly great when dealing with relationship conflict. As challenges in relationships need to be met with understanding.
An alpha female in a relationship can be great at smoothing over any conflict and putting you at ease.
9) She is magnetic
Alpha females are magnetic for many reasons. People pay attention to an alpha female thanks to her confidence, self-respect, and strength.
It’s not that an alpha female will seek the limelight, but she often finds it. As I’ve said, she challenges men in relationships and this can be incredibly appealing.
Men find her attractive because they see themselves reflected in her.
They admire her confidence and sense of purpose. They want to impress her and win her over to show they are a worthy partner for her.
10) She wants to grow
There’s far less chance that your relationship will become stagnant when an alpha female is involved.
Growth and development are hugely significant to an alpha female.
How significant? Well, one study noted that 100% of female alpha leaders who took part in the research said continued learning was important to them.
This growth mindset makes an alpha female an interesting partner in a relationship, who always has something new to bring to the table.
Her thirst for knowledge means you’re unlikely to be bored dating an alpha female.
Alpha female weakness in a relationship
As we’ve seen, an alpha female is a force to be reckoned with. A powerhouse of positive energy that makes things happen around her. She leads from the front and creates success wherever she goes.
Rather than sit back, this proactive woman will go after what she wants in both life and love. But her strength can dominate and potentially overpower too.
In love and relationships, this can lead to unbalanced dynamics where she ends up taking charge. This can lead to alpha female relationship problems.
Alpha females may crave strong and equal partners, yet inadvertently can end up pushing them away and attracting the very opposite.
This relates back to what I mentioned earlier: the hero instinct.
Whilst her inspiring, courageous, and passionate spirit can lift the man in her life up, and hence trigger his hero instinct, other aspects of her alpha personality could have the opposite effect.
As a recap, the hero instinct says that men have to feel needed, wanted, and respected in their relationships in order to commit.
Alpha women often seek out men who match their strength. But the strong qualities and fierce independence of some alpha females can leave the men in their lives unsure of their place. They want to provide in a relationship and need the chance to offer this.
This is quite easy to rectify to create a better balance back into the relationship so that both partners feel equal. It’s as simple as knowing the right things to say to trigger his hero instinct and make him into the man he’s always wanted to be.
All of that and more is revealed in this excellent free video by James Bauer. It’s absolutely worth checking out if you’re ready to take things to the next level with your man.
How to deal with an alpha female in a relationship?
Just like alpha females looking to attract strong and capable partners need to treat their men with respect, appreciation, and support their pursuit of purpose — men dating alpha females must do the same.
What are alpha females attracted to?
Generally, they are on the lookout for an equal match who can proudly stand beside her whilst she achieves her potential.
In order to have a happy and healthy relationship with an alpha female:
Have clear boundaries
An alpha female won’t be walked all over and she needs a man who feels the same. Having firm boundaries in a relationship can be the secret ingredient to nurture mutual respect.
When you are dealing with strong characters, it’s essential for both partners to know where the line is and not cross it.
An alpha female sets her own boundaries and knows she is responsible for upholding them and nobody else.
She likewise needs a partner who is clear about what is and what isn’t acceptable, and knows how to uphold their boundaries.
Respect her freedom
Freedom in this sense does not mean never settling down, having a family, or any of the other things that can come along with being a couple.
It simply means accepting that she is independent. Her lack of clinginess is not a reflection of her not needing or wanting you in her life. It’s a sign of her self-sufficiency.
As a driven woman, she will likely have many irons in the fire that need attending to — including her work, her friendships, family, personal growth, and hobbies.
She needs a man who values this free time to pursue interests as much as she does.
Don’t compete with her
Relationships are a partnership. They should uplift, inspire and support. Challenging your partner does not mean clashing and competing.
True strength does not need to dominate. That’s why alpha females can be very compatible with alpha males, but never in a toxic masculine enviroment.
She won’t stick around if a guy feels too threatened to appreciate and acknowledge her accomplishments.
If her success emasculates a man, she is never going to dim her light just to make him feel better. It’s about creating an equal partnership, not trying to dominate her strength.
To conclude: What is an alpha female like in a relationship?
An alpha female is a confident, intelligent, ambitious, and successful woman who is able to set her own boundaries and doesn’t let anyone walk all over her.
If you can handle her without feeling intimidated, she can help to bring out the best in you.
An alpha female with an equal partner by her side will create quite the power couple, ready to take on the world.
How this one revelation changed my love life
It’s Justin Brown here, the co-founder of Ideapod, and I have something to confess…
I used to believe I needed to be successful before I deserved to find someone who could love me.
I used to believe there was a “perfect person” out there and I just had to find them.
I used to believe I would finally be happy once I found “the one”.
What I now know is that these limiting beliefs were stopping me from building deep and intimate relationships with the people I was meeting. I was chasing an illusion that was leading me to loneliness.
If you want to change anything in your life, one of the most effective ways is to change your beliefs.
Unfortunately, it’s not an easy thing to do.
I’m lucky to have worked directly with the shaman Rudá Iandê in changing my beliefs about love. Doing so has changed my life forever.
Now, Rudá’s teachings can change your life, too.
As the co-founder of Ideapod, I’m in a unique position to be able to bring Rudá’s teachings to our global community.
We do this by promoting his masterclasses.
One of the most powerful masterclasses he has is the love and intimacy masterclass. In this class, Rudá breaks down his key lessons on cultivating healthy and nurturing relationships in your life.
Thousands of people have already let me know that this masterclass has changed their love lives for the better.
Justin Brown, Ideapod Founder