Chances are, you know at least one or two amazing and attractive women who are single.
From celebrities to your not-so-average girl next door, you’ll find an abundance of smart and beautiful women who are not in relationships.
And you must be wondering why.
They’re smart, funny, beautiful, and are basically everything men would be attracted to.
You’d think that these gorgeous women can have any man they want. Surely they can have the pick of the litter.
However, you’d be surprised that this is such a widespread phenomenon. It might as well be a global epidemic.
So what exactly is the reasoning behind this trend? Let’s find out.
1. They don’t want to settle
Our culture looks at singlehood as some sort of an unwanted condition.
If you’re single, you’re miserable. This is why so many people “settle” for partners they aren’t really compatible with just so they won’t be alone. But these women aren’t afraid to be alone.
In fact, they would rather wait patiently for the right man to come along. To them, it’s better to be single than to be trapped with someone who just doesn’t feel right.
For these women, being single has a mountain of opportunities for growth.
According to author and researcher Dr. Juliana Breines, Ph.D.:
“Being single is an opportunity to build strong friendships, devote yourself to activities and causes that you’re passionate about, and develop a sense of self-worth and identity that is not attached to a romantic partner’s love and approval.”
2. They have high standards
They’re aware of who they are and what they can bring into a relationship. While they understand that no one is perfect, they do have a reasonable list of things that they can never compromise with.
Their reasons may vary, but they do want the same thing – a healthy and respectful relationship with someone they can build their lives with. And they don’t want to settle for anything less than that.
In a study entitled Attractive Women Want it All: Good Genes, Economic Investment, Parenting Proclivities and Emotional Commitment, psychology researcher David Buss explains:
“When reviewing the qualities they desire in romantic partners, women gauge what they can get based on what they got.
“And women who are considered physically attractive maintain high standards for prospective partners across a variety of characteristics.”
3. They don’t need a man to complete them
They’re accomplished in their own right. They have their own careers, sets of friends, and basically a life that completes them. They don’t need a man to give them any validation. They’re content and perfectly happy with the life they’ve built for themselves.
They know that if the right man comes along, it wouldn’t be to serve a kind of purpose or fulfillment they need to seek. The man of their life would only add another layer to their already complete life.
4. They recognize bullsh*t and they don’t tolerate it
These are smart women who can smell bullshi*t from miles away. They don’t have the time nor the inclination to deal with silly games. They don’t want drama in their lives. In fact, they avoid dating men who are problematic.
Toxicity is something they simply shall not tolerate. They’d rather be single than deal with all that stress.
5. They know who they are completely
Smart and attractive women know themselves completely. This means they know exactly what they do and don’t want in someone.
These women are in touch with their emotions and know how to deal with them. They’re comfortable with their sexuality and their own skin. They know themselves so well that they recognize when something is not right for them – especially love. And they don’t delude themselves into believing otherwise.
6. They’re busy with their own journey
Women who are self-aware don’t waste their time on things they can’t control.
Instead, they focus on bettering themselves. These women are busy pursuing their life goals.
Whether it be their careers, their passions, or their personal journey – they simply don’t have the time to date. They know that true love will come naturally when all the pieces fall into place.
7. They don’t follow rules
Go to college. Get a good job. Find a man. Start a family.
Yeah, that’s simply not for them.
They’re not constrained to this hetero-normative path to “happiness”. They don’t believe they have to succumb to society’s preconceived perception of success or fulfillment.
Maybe they want to travel, or maybe they don’t want to have kids.
Whatever their reasons are, it is because they want to stay true to themselves rather than live unhappy lives chasing for the wrong things.
8. They love themselves
They’re single because they know how to take care of themselves. These women don’t compromise.
They’re not desperate because they know they’re enough. To them, living their lives by their rules is more important than having a relationship status on Facebook.
True happiness does not require having someone. They know that that’s just a bonus. Not a requirement.
9. They want to be single
Or they just want to be single. Why is it even a question, anyway?
Perhaps there is no reason. They just want to be alone. It’s a choice.
And sometimes it’s just as simple as that.
How can a woman be attractive and confident?
To be quite honest, these days, it’s not hard to achieve “beauty.” At least our society’s standards of it.
Do your make-up. Dress in the latest fashions. Go to the salon, gym, even a surgeon enough times, and people would call you beautiful.
But is that all it takes to be attractive?
We like to believe that it’s not.
What attracts us to someone varies for each person. Some are attracted to looks, some to personality, some even to intelligence.
So in truth, you can’t be attractive to everyone. But you can do things that would make other people curious and intrigued by you.
According to science, our brains have an extremely short attention span. People judge you immediately the moment you enter a room – and it only takes them 30 seconds to do so.
So how can you be an attractive and confident person? We have 4 easy tips:
1. Don’t bore people.
Stop taking life too seriously. You’re not only boring yourself, but you’re also boring other people.
We’re all afraid of appearing weird or crazy in front of others. And perhaps that’s the reason why we try to hide the interesting things about us.
But the truth is, you’re not going to be attractive because you’re the same as everyone else. What will make you attractive, are the parts of you that are unique? So you might just as well be yourself.
Jill Weber, psychologist and author of The Relationship Formula Workbook Series says:
“You don’t have to be perfect to have solid relationships and love in your life. In fact, it’s being imperfect that puts people at ease. There is a kind of intimacy that takes hold, a sense that you can be open with this person because they are being open with you.”
2. Be available, but not too available.
What’s the number one thing that makes a person attractive? Apparently, it’s not looks. Not even close. It’s availability.
Research shows that it’s a person’s availability that predicts their attractiveness. But it depends on the areas of our life.
In dating, it starts with physical availability. But in the long run, it becomes about emotional availability. The more emotionally willing you are to invest in a relationship, the more attractive you become.
In business, it’s about your intellectual and economic availability. How good are you for the job? And how available?
Availability is attractive because we all inherently fear rejection. The less we are to reject potential partners or career opportunities, the more attractive we appear.
3. Smile a lot.
A smile says so much. It says you are an open person. It shows you welcome opportunities to connect to people.
Do you notice how people often say, “I fell in love with her smile?”
It’s because humans like connections – easy connections. A smile is a signal that you want to get to know someone.
And it speaks a lot about your personality and well-being, too.
4. Have good friends.
Didn’t you know? Having good friends make us attractive, too.
Studies show that you actually appear more attractive when you’re in a group. The more attractive group of friends you are, the more attractive you’ll look when you are with them.
But it’s deeper than that. When you have good, happy, and confident friends, you become like them, too. So it’s important that you surround yourself with attractive people – not just physically, but mentally as well.