Kind people steer clear of specific phrases in their day-to-day interactions. They choose to sprinkle empathy like confetti and strive to make the world a more compassionate place.
These people are special, and whether you want to know who they are or learn what they do so you can be more like them, you’re in the right place.
Part of what makes kind people so extraordinary is not just what they say but also what they choose not to say.
Below I share 9 things you’ll never hear a genuinely kind person say.
Ready?
First off, you’ll never hear them ask…
1) “Are you crazy?”
Kind people tend to be empathetic and understanding. They know that we all mess up sometimes and don’t need to feel shittier than we probably already do.
You won’t ever hear a truly kind person say something like “Are you crazy?” in a rude or derogatory way.
They may drop it as a joke, but then you’ll know it’s one. They’ll be mindful not to hurt your feelings and are likely only to say it if you’re really close friends who often joke like this.
If you do something unhinged or end up making a mistake that you wouldn’t have if you gave your actions some more thought, chances are a kind person might ask something like:
“Hey, are you okay?”
Or:
“Is everything alright?”
They’ll express concern and offer help instead of passing judgment.
This is also why they’ll never ask you something like…
2) “What’s wrong with you?”
Using a phrase like this can come across as insensitive and dismissive. People struggle, and it’s important to recognize this.
A genuinely kind person won’t want you to feel bad or attacked.
They’ll ask a way more compassionate question like:
“Is something bothering you?”
Or:
“Can I help in any way?”
They approach with care and concern instead of judgment and confrontation.
Kind people want to lift others up. And when you ask someone what’s wrong with them, that’s the last thing you’re doing.
Kindness involves being considerate and showing empathy. That’s always why kind people will never say…
3) “It’s your fault.”
Even when it is.
A kind person will still choose their words carefully and try not to make you feel worse than you do.
They approach situations like these with a focus on finding solutions instead of playing the blame game.
If you mess up, a kind person will try to have an open and constructive conversation with you. They’ll do their best to understand what happened and look for ways to make things better.
They might even say something like:
“Let’s talk about what happened and find a way to fix things together.”
Or:
“What can we do to make things right?”
Kind people will offer a helping hand. They won’t point fingers or leave you alone in the dark.
Pushing someone down with blame doesn’t make you kind.
4) “Get over it.”
This is a phrase I like to live by, but one I’m unlikely to say to someone else.
Sometimes we have to accept reality and get over things.
But when someone is in the midst of a struggle, it’s the last thing they need to hear.
And kind people know this.
They understand that everyone deals with emotions differently. So they’ll never try to rush someone into moving on.
They’ll encourage you to find a healthy way of dealing with whatever you’re going through.
Instead of telling you to ‘get over it,’ a kind person will say something like:
“I can see that this is bothering you. Do you want to talk about it?”
Or:
“Take all the time you need. And remember, I’m here to talk if you want to.”
Pushing someone to process their emotions is hurtful and insensitive. It invalidates their struggle.
A truly kind person knows that healing takes time. And that everyone experiences and processes things differently.
This is also why they’ll never tell you to…
5) “Stop being so dramatic.”
Kind people know that everyone reacts differently to stuff. And they don’t want to make someone feel like their emotions are invalid.
If they see something is bothering you or that your reaction to something is fueled by emotions, they’ll approach you with compassion and openness.
So, instead of telling you to quit being dramatic, they’ll say something like:
“Hey, I can see you’re feeling pretty strongly about this. Want to talk about what’s going on?”
Or:
“Why don’t you tell me what’s going on? I’ll do my best to see where you’re coming from.”
Kindness is about being supportive and accepting, no matter how someone’s emotions show up.
We all come from different walks of life. There’s no way we’ll react the same to everything.
Kind people respect this and try to create a safe space for others to express themselves.
You can do the same by avoiding judgmental language and making sure people know you won’t criticize or dismiss their feelings.
6) “You’ll never make it.”
Have you ever given something your all only to be met with zero support from the ones you wanted it from the most?
Does it sometimes feel like people think you’ll never make it, or worse, have they even said it to you?
A truly kind person will never.
For them, it’s all about encouraging and supporting others to follow their dreams. They want to uplift people, not tear them down.
The thought that you won’t succeed won’t even cross their mind. They know they’re not the one who gets to decide that.
Instead, they’ll just support you and say things like:
“You’ve got this!”
Or:
“I believe in you!”
Kind people understand the power of belief and encouragement. They know their support can help you reach new heights and overcome challenges.
They’ll want you to win, so why would they try to crush your aspirations?
And you know what? Even if a kind person doesn’t like what you’re going for or thinks it won’t work, they’ll never tell you that…
7) “It’s a stupid idea.”
Simply because they know that different people like different things. What seems silly to them might be a genius invention to someone else.
They’ll never dismiss your ideas or be harsh. If they really want to share their perspective, they’ll do it more gently.
Instead of dropping the s-word, they might say something like:
“Hey, I see what you’re going for, but have you thought about this?”
Or:
“Interesting concept! Can you tell me more?”
A kind person will always try to understand what you’re going for instead of shooting you down. They know saying something is stupid can be a real buzzkill.
Kindness is about encouraging people and their ideas. Feedback isn’t necessary unless it’s helpful.
If you’re not up for a brainstorming party where the goal is to help someone else shine, it’s best to keep quiet.
8) “No offence, but…”
This is another phrase I kinda hate, and with good reason.
Whenever someone starts their sentence with ‘no offence,’ whatever follows is usually a bit offensive.
And I know that offense is taken and never given.
But many people use this phrase to hide the judgment they’re trying to pass.
Kind people refrain from saying things that could be genuinely offensive or hurtful. So they don’t have the need to use this phrase.
They also want to be honest and never intend to come across as mean or rude.
So, when a kind person wants to share their thoughts, they’ll choose to say something like:
“Hey, I want to share my thoughts, but hope you know it comes from a place of wanting to help.”
And then they’ll still proceed by choosing their words carefully and being respectful.
9) “This is why people…”
Okay, so you might hear a kind person say, “This is why people…,” but they’ll be mindful of how they complete that sentence.
This is because they try to avoid generalizing or making negative assumptions about groups of people.
You might hear a kind person say, “This is why people have different perspectives.” But you won’t catch them saying something like:
“This is why people hate women.”
Or:
“This is why people can’t get along.”
These kinds of statements can be hurtful and judgmental and perpetuate negativity.
Genuinely kind people want to unite with others rather than promote stereotypes and create more division.
By avoiding hurtful or judgmental language, you can do the same. Remember:
Kindness isn’t just a fleeting gesture. It’s a way of life. You should choose to be compassionate and understanding, no matter the circumstances.
Always ask yourself if your words will uplift, encourage, or empower someone. If not, they might be best left unsaid.
