Throughout the journey of life, we stumble, we learn, and we grow. However, some lessons are learned a little too late, often leaving us wishing we’d known them sooner.
Hi, I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit and a devoted student of mindfulness and Buddhism. Over the years, I’ve learned that life doesn’t always give us second chances to learn from our mistakes.
In this piece, I’ll share with you 8 life lessons that most people learn far too late in their journey. These are insights that have reshaped my perspective and transformed the way I navigate through life.
Let’s get started.
1) Life isn’t always fair
The world of mindfulness and Buddhism has taught me many things. One of the hardest yet most crucial lessons I’ve learned is that life isn’t always fair.
We often grow up with the belief that if we work hard, treat others well, and make the right choices, everything will fall into place. However, life has a way of surprising us, sometimes in ways that seem utterly unfair.
Perhaps you’ve been passed over for a promotion you were more than qualified for, or maybe an unexpected illness has knocked you off your feet. It can be frustrating and disheartening when these things happen.
But here’s the thing: Life doesn’t promise to be fair. It promises to be a journey, complete with highs and lows, joys and sorrows, victories and defeats.
The sooner we accept this, the better we can navigate through life’s ups and downs. Mindfulness teaches us to observe these unfair moments without judgment or resistance, allowing us to respond with wisdom instead of reacting out of frustration.
2) Happiness is an inside job
As a student of mindfulness and Buddhism, I’ve come to realize that happiness isn’t about what we have, but rather, how we perceive what we have. This realization was a game-changer for me.
We often fall into the trap of thinking that if we could just get that promotion, buy that house, or find the perfect partner, then we’ll finally be happy. But the truth is, these external factors can only bring temporary joy.
Thich Nhat Hanh, a renowned Buddhist monk and mindfulness teacher, once said: “There is no way to happiness – happiness is the way.” This profound quote resonated deeply with me and changed my perspective on happiness.
Happiness isn’t a destination to reach; it’s a mindset to cultivate. It’s about finding contentment in the present moment, no matter how imperfect it may seem.
This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t pursue our goals or strive for better. Rather, it’s about not attaching our happiness to these external achievements. Instead, let’s nurture an inner sense of peace and joy that remains steady regardless of the circumstances.
3) Forgiveness is liberating
One of the most powerful yet challenging lessons I’ve learned is the power of forgiveness. Buddhism teaches us that harboring resentment is like holding onto a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
When we refuse to forgive, we chain ourselves to the past, allowing old wounds to control our present. Anger and resentment can become heavy burdens that weigh us down, preventing us from moving forward and finding peace.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning the wrongs done to us. Instead, it’s about letting go of the pain associated with those wrongs. It’s about freeing ourselves from the prison of grudges and bitterness.
It’s not easy, and it requires a great deal of courage and strength. But when we do manage to forgive, we don’t just liberate others from our animosity; we liberate ourselves from the shackles of past hurts.
In Buddhism, forgiveness is seen as a journey towards enlightenment – a journey towards freedom. And ultimately, isn’t that what we all seek?
4) The present moment is all we truly have
Mindfulness has taught me that the present moment is the only thing we truly possess. It’s a lesson that’s raw, honest and can be difficult to truly internalize, especially in our fast-paced world where we’re constantly planning, worrying, and striving for the future.
We often spend so much time ruminating about the past or stressing over the future that we forget to live in the now. But the past is gone and the future isn’t promised. All we really have is this very moment.
Focusing on the present moment doesn’t mean ignoring our past experiences or not planning for the future. Rather, it’s about not letting these things steal our attention and joy from what’s happening right now.
When we practice mindfulness, we learn to engage fully with each moment as it arrives, whether it’s savoring a cup of coffee, listening to a loved one, or feeling the wind against our skin.
In doing so, we can experience life more deeply and find joy in the simplest of moments. After all, life isn’t just about getting to the destination; it’s about enjoying the journey along the way. And that journey unfolds in the here and now.
5) Living with minimum ego leads to maximum impact
During my journey as a mindfulness student and practitioner, I’ve discovered that one of the key lessons most people learn too late in life is the power of living with a minimized ego.
Our ego often clouds our judgment, fosters unnecessary conflicts, and prevents us from seeing things as they truly are. It’s that voice inside us that constantly seeks attention, validation, and superiority, often at the expense of our peace and relationships.
In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve deeper into how minimizing our ego can lead to a more fulfilling and impactful life.
Reducing the influence of the ego doesn’t mean suppressing it or denying its existence. Instead, it’s about recognizing its presence and choosing not to be led by it. It’s about cultivating humility, empathy, and open-mindedness – qualities that can profoundly impact our personal growth and relationships.
Living with a minimized ego doesn’t make us weak; it makes us wise. And in this wisdom, we can make a meaningful difference in our lives and the lives of those around us.
6) Suffering is a part of life
One of the most raw and honest lessons that Buddhism and mindfulness teach us is that suffering is an inevitable part of life. This might sound harsh, but acknowledging it can actually be liberating.
We often go to great lengths to avoid pain and discomfort. We run from our problems, mask our feelings, or distract ourselves with material possessions. But no matter how fast or far we run, suffering always catches up.
That’s because life, by its very nature, is full of ups and downs. There will be moments of joy, but there will also be moments of pain.
Buddhism teaches us that the key isn’t to avoid suffering but to learn how to deal with it. It’s about accepting that pain is a part of life and understanding that it’s often through suffering that we grow and find our strength.
Through mindfulness, we learn not to resist or suppress our pain but to sit with it, observe it without judgment, and let it pass naturally. This doesn’t eliminate suffering, but it allows us to face it with greater resilience and wisdom.
7) Change is the only constant
If there’s one thing guaranteed in life, it’s change. Yet, accepting this fundamental truth is something many of us struggle with. We crave stability and certainty, clinging to what is familiar and resisting what disrupts our comfort zone.
However, as the renowned mindfulness teacher, Jon Kabat-Zinn, once said: “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” This quote perfectly encapsulates the essence of our relationship with change.
Everything around us and within us is in a constant state of flux. Seasons change, relationships evolve, our bodies age and even our thoughts and feelings are never static.
Resisting change is like trying to hold back the ocean with a broom – it’s exhausting and futile. Instead, embracing change allows us to flow with life’s currents rather than against them.
This doesn’t mean it’s always easy. Change can be uncomfortable and even scary. But it’s also an opportunity for growth, learning and new experiences.
8) Doing nothing can be productive
In our fast-paced, productivity-obsessed society, this lesson might seem counterintuitive: Sometimes, doing nothing can be the most productive thing you can do.
Mindfulness teaches us the value of stillness and silence. In a world that constantly demands our attention and action, taking a step back to simply be in the moment can seem like an alien concept.
We often equate busyness with productivity, but constantly doing doesn’t always mean we’re achieving. In fact, it can lead to burnout, stress, and a lack of focus.
On the other hand, pausing to do nothing – to simply breathe, observe and be present – can refresh our minds, sharpen our focus and recharge our energy. It allows us space to reflect, to gain clarity and to reconnect with ourselves.
This doesn’t mean we should abandon our responsibilities and goals. Rather, it’s about recognizing the need for balance – for moments of action and moments of stillness.
A bow that is drawn too tightly will break. So take a moment now and then to loosen your bowstring, to do nothing, and simply be. You might be surprised at how productive it can be.
Conclusion
From understanding that life isn’t always fair, to recognizing the power of forgiveness, to appreciating the present moment, and realizing that sometimes doing nothing can be the most productive thing – these lessons can truly transform our perspective on life.
If you found these insights helpful and want to delve deeper into how you can live with maximum impact and minimum ego, I invite you to check out my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”. It’s packed with more wisdom on how to navigate life’s ups and downs with grace and resilience.
It’s not about the number of years in our life, but the life in our years that truly counts. So let’s make each moment count.
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