Making friends used to be a whole lot easier.
It was effortless, in fact.
Remember when making friends was as easy as going to school and becoming best friends with your seatmate?
It was uncomplicated, simple, and we didn’t think much of it.
Fast forward to adulthood and we find out that adult friendships are simply not as easy to make.
We have work, bills to pay, and when we’re free we just want to curl up in our pajamas and watch Netflix all weekend.
We lose touch with the people who we always thought was going to stay. Heck, we sometimes don’t even have time for our own families.
We all become so busy living our own lives that we have somehow forgotten to cultivate adult friendships that can enrich our lives in many ways.
Whether you are starting in a new city, job, or you just want to start having friends, we’ve listed the best and easiest ways to help you.
Here’s how to make friends as an adult
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Tag the people in your circle below 👇The quality of our lives is largely dependent on the quality of company we keep. There’s something so powerful about surrounding yourself with the right tribe. Make sure the people in your life feel appreciated. They’ll be happy to know how important they are.
Step 1: Say yes to all the invites.
The first step is to be absolutely open to opportunities. Sad to say, you can’t swipe potential friends on a dating app in the comforts of your own home.
Surely you have your own share of social invites. Perhaps your workmates have invited you to after-work drinks at the local bar. Or someone invited you to their daughter’s birthday party.
These days, with so much going on, it could be super easy to turn down social invitations. Maybe it’s even your first instinct.
But try to grab every opportunity you can to go out there and meet as many people as you can, anyway. Just say yes and go. Don’t think about it too much.
We get it, showing up to new events with a bunch of strangers can be even more mortifying than it was in high school. But once you’re there, you won’t regret it. You’ll have met a bunch of cool new people.
And who knows? These new acquaintances can turn up to be some of the best friends of your life.
Step 2: Be a little braver.
Most of the time, we are our own worst enemy at making friends. We let opportunities pass us by because we are too afraid of rejection, or just too socially awkward to put ourselves out there.
But a little bravery can do wonders, not just for our relationships as a whole, but for our lives in general.
Don’t settle for small talk in the elevator or at the bus stop. Be braver. Ask them for a cup of coffee or a drink. If you find that you have a connection with another person that is out of the ordinary, take that opportunity to get to know them more.
Sometimes they’ll say yes, sometimes they’ll say no. Don’t take it too personally.
Instead, be proud that you took that moment to be more proactive. You’ll find out that you’re becoming more and more fearless in your life.
Step 3: Join a new group.
Join a book club, a yoga club, a meet-up group. This is a fantastic way to make fast friends because everyone wants the same – to meet new people!
Think of it as a play date, only it’s for adults. It can sound a little silly or even awkward, but you can all laugh and see the humor in it later.
And it’s so much fun! There are plenty of apps or social media groups who organize these kinds of events. So do yourself a favor and attend one and see where it leads you!
If it doesn’t go well, at least it will make for an interesting story later on.
Step 4: Reach out to old friends.
You’ll be surprised at the relationships you can rekindle if you just go through the effort of reaching out.
You don’t know exactly why you and your friends have lost touch. Maybe they’ve moved to another city, or have other priorities now like families, career, etc.
But it’s never too late to try to rekindle these relationships. In fact, these are the best kind of friendships to try to revive. You’ll likely find out that in some cases, it will seem like no time has passed at all. You’ll pick up where you left off.
Give it a try. Give an old friend a call and set up a date to catch up with them. Make the time to make space in your life for them again.
In fact, old friends are often the best people to reach out to. They’re not fake friends, they really care about you deep down.
Step 5: Ask for introductions.
Use your own inner circle to look for possible new friendships. Ask your friends if they know any people you might hit it off with.
More than likely, your friends will have many people in mind. Networking can also help you get some new friends or acquaintances.
And you’ll also get rid of the awkwardness because you already have friends in common!
Step 6. Don’t be scared to be vulnerable.
What’s stopping you from most things in life? What’s stopping you from creating and building relationships that can last a lifetime?
It’s your fear of being vulnerable.
We get it. People can be cruel. They can change easily tomorrow. And they have the power to hurt you.
But don’t let this fear stop you from creating amazing friendships.
Life is a gamble. Sometimes you meet the right people and sometimes the wrong people hurt you. But in the end, they teach you valuable lessons.
Put yourself out there and don’t be afraid to open up to someone new. You’ll find that people can actually surprise you in a good way.
Step 7: Don’t limit yourself to friendships with the same sex.
You’ve heard it said before. You can not be friends with the opposite sex.
They say it’s messy and makes things complicated. Men and women simply cannot be friends.
But that can’t be more wrong. In fact, male-female friendships are the best and healthiest kind of relationships.
Besides, you will be privy to advise and other perks that your same-sex friendships don’t have.
It will add a new fun twist to your life and will change your outlook for the better!
And if you’re afraid your friend is having romantic feelings for you, just be honest. It’s not that complicated.
Step 8: Be yourself always.
You attract the energy you put out there. If you’re always pretending to be someone you’re not just so you can be popular and have many friends, you’re doing ti wrong.
As you grow older, you realize that it’s not the number of friends you surround yourself with. In fact, you may even feel the loneliest when you’re in a crowd of people who don’t really know you.
Instead, surround yourself with people who love you for who you are. Find friends that accept your craziness, eccentricities and all of your uniqueness.
There is nothing lonelier than being with “friends” who don’t really know the real you. So instead, take the time to choose “high-quality” people.
Find friends who will motivate you, inspire you, and push you to become the best version of yourself.
Friendships are essential in our lives. If you have no friends, life can be lonely and dull. Do yourself a favor and gather the best kinds of friendships you can possibly have.
The best part of being an adult is connecting with people who add to your life, forging valuable relationships with them, and seeing these relationships grow into life-long friendships.
Otherwise, your life will pass you by and you’ll find yourself growing old, surrounded by your accomplishments, but no people to share it with. You will be missing on the best parts
So don’t just sit there. Go out and make yourself some friends!
Now that you’ve read about how to make friends as an adult, check out our article on how to declutter your mind.