You might think that physical characteristics are what makes a person sexy.
There’s no doubt that a good looking man or woman is hard to look away from when you pass them in the street.
But good looks aren’t the only thing that makes people sexy.
The truth is that different people find different physical characteristics sexy.
What you find attractive might not be what someone else finds attractive.
That’s the beauty of attraction and why we believe there is someone for everyone out there on this big planet.
There are, however, a number of commonly agreed upon traits that people possess that makes them sexy.
And they seem to be present in most people who you might consider “sexy.”
It’s why someone who doesn’t immediately strike your fancy can later become the person you love more than anyone.
Let’s take a look at the science of attraction by discussing 8 traits that most sexy people possess.
1) Being Selfless
When you think about your favorite celebrity, what do you think of?
Probably their physical features and how great an actor or actress they have come to be.
But you might also find yourself thinking “they are good looking and they do charity work in the rainforest?!”
If it doesn’t seem fair that someone is good looking and kind, you are not alone in thinking that.
But that just makes them sexier. Big hearts last well beyond the looks of youth.
In three studies of more than 1,000 people, researchers discovered that women place significantly greater importance on altruistic traits than anything else.
2) Being Funny
When you ask a woman what she looks for in a man, she’ll tell you that having a good sense of humor is high on the list.
People joke that if they can’t be good looking, at least they can be funny, but what we need to realize is that being funny makes people more attractive to us.
In a study at Simon Fraser University in Canada, funny people who participated in a speed-dating study were deemed more attractive than those with less of a sense of humor.
3) Being Deep
Every now and then you’ll meet someone and talk all night.
It will blow your mind how this person seems to get you and how you get them.
Deep, insightful conversations with smart people can create a strong attraction between two people that suddenly makes the not-so-attractive-guy from marketing look much better.
Having someone you can talk to about anything, and everything is rare, and when you find it, you might find that the person is also more attractive than you previously gave them credit for.
A study found that people who participate in more substantive conversations throughout the day compared to small-talk are deemed happier and more attractive.
(We just released a new eBook: The Art of Resilience: A Practical Guide to Developing Mental Toughness. We highlight 20 of the most resilient people in the world and break down what traits they have in common. We then equip you with 10 resilience-building tools that you can start using today–in your personal life or professional career. Check it out here.)
4) Being Confident
Confidence is sexy.
It’s regularly reported as a trait that draws people toward other people.
A man standing tall, shoulders back, wearing a smile is intoxicating.
A woman laughing with friends, wearing her favorite dress and heels, scream confidence.
It’s attractive because we want to be with people who are confident.
It means they can stand up to life’s challenges, and help us do the same.
According to Harvard psychologist, Craig Malki:
“Research shows that confidence makes us seem more trustworthy—and when you’re out on the meat market, selling how great you are, confidence makes people accept your pitch.”
5) Being Emotionally Secure
Someone who can hold their own during trying times can suddenly seem sexier than they were before the world fell apart.
It comes back to comfort: we want to know that people are able to be strong and hold their own when things get bad.
We find it sexy because it helps us deal with life’s crap too.
Australian researchers recently studied a speed-dating session, and found that mindful men who were in control of their emotions tended to receive higher attractiveness ratings from women.
6) Being Likeable
Some people are just naturally good at conversation and seem to make friends wherever they go.
When someone likes you, you become more attractive to those around you.
Not just physical attraction but good things seem to come your way in life. Jobs, opportunities, money, and of course, love.
A study found that that people with lots of friends appear more socially attractive, more physically attractive, more approachable, and more extroverted.
7) Making Others Feel Sexy
You know what’s sexy? Giving someone a compliment or making them feel worthy of their own life.
Being kind to someone when they are feeling down or taking one for the team can make you seem more attractive to people because you are putting the feelings of others first.
Creating a win-win situation for everyone makes you seem more attractive because you are ensuring the greater good for the most people.
Plus, when you make someone feel sexy, they’ll look at you differently.
They’ll look at you as a source of their sexiness, and that’ll create the perfect environment for a relationship to be born.
When someone makes us feel good about ourselves, we want to be with them more and more.
A recent study, led by Yan Zhang of Huazhong University in China and published in the November 2014 issue of Personality and Individual Differences, found traits of kindness to increase perceptions of facial attractiveness.
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